Chapter 14

FOURTEEN

Clarissa

Clarissa watched the springer spaniel's wagging tail as she ran ahead of them through the fields with even more enthusiasm and energy than Bork. It was slightly odd to be going out for a walk without her own dog and it almost felt like a betrayal. When she got home later, would Bork be able to smell that she'd gone for a stretch without him? She was surely going to have to pay a hefty price for such insolence.

Clarissa took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air filling her nose and lungs after being inside the studio for a while. Even with lots of open windows, it was still a bit of an olfactory overload, especially with her more sensitive sense of smell.

She was ever so slightly unsteady on her feet from the wine, but it was a beautiful night. Quiet, crisp, without a hint of clouds. The crescent moon was steadily climbing the sky and judging from the time, the fated mate ritual was about to begin soon. Not that Clarissa minded missing it, she hadn't gone to any of the ceremonies in a while. She didn't have time for romance, her life was hectic enough.

Although it didn't escape her notice that she'd made time for Dee. Much to her father's glee, he'd practically shoved her out of the door with grand exclamations of her staying out all night and having fun.

Not that kind of fun.

She glanced at the woman in question, trying to figure out what was going on in her head. She hadn't intended to spend so much time at Dee's studio. In fact, she'd prepared herself for a five minute tour before being kicked out which was why she brought wine. She couldn't have foreseen that they would hang out for hours or that she would get to paint. She still wasn't sure where her audacity had come from to paint over Dee. Her, a small-town painter that never made it big, painting over someone as prolific and well-known as Dee?

If there was ever a good reason to murder, this was it.

But she knew that at some point, Dee would look at the painting, at all the imperfections and the missing details and rushed decisions. And it would trigger her because that always seemed to be the case with their art. And even if Dee painted simply out of spite or to prove she could do better, it would get her painting.

Clarissa felt herself smile.

"What?" Dee asked.

"Nothing, just enjoying myself," Clarissa said. And it was true. She enjoyed their time together but then again, she always had. Even when they were younger and their fragile friendship was laced with youthful arrogance, petty competitiveness, and sometimes even jealousy. She'd always known Dee would go far, much further than her.

Dee whistled to get Millie's attention and the spaniel refrained from straying too far. "Look at her run, she's so bouncy. And now her feet are full of mud."

"At least she fits in the tub. When I get my bear feet dirty, I have to use the hose outside," Clarissa remarked, sort of wishing she was in bear form now.

"Why don't you just shift back and shower?" Dee asked with a frown.

"I also do that but it just doesn't feel the same. It's kind of nice to wash when I'm in bear form. Like... You know how nice it feels when you've soaped up your hair and the water just slides through it? It's like that but for my whole body."

It was a strangely intimate thing to share but Clarissa didn't feel weird about it. It just felt like this kind of night.

Dee's soft chuckle was only tinted with amusement. "You're so weird sometimes."

"So very so ?" Clarissa asked with a teasing grin.

"Yes, you're the most so of everyone. But it's nice." The last bit came out so quietly, it was likely not meant for her ears. Dee didn't say anything for a bit as they walked but the silence was loaded. "Can I ask something personal?"

Clarissa just let out an affirmative hum.

"You said you've had painter's block before. What was that about? I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I was just curious," Dee said, not once looking at her.

Amusement sparked inside Clarissa. She'd been expecting this question, she just didn't think the other woman would be so delicate about it. It was much appreciated though because while she was no longer the same person who had gone through the painter's block, her self from back then needed kindness.

After a while, she managed to formulate some thoughts. "It was around the time that Dad's illness got really serious. I had made plans to leave Crescent Valley and spread my wings. Kind of like what you did, you know? I wanted to show in big galleries, too. Become a real artist. But with Dad's health declining and the store, I decided to stay and put my own plans on hold."

"I didn't know that," Dee said softly.

"We weren't talking at that point and honestly, I didn't want you, of all people, to know," Clarissa admitted wryly, the taste of jealousy even bitter now.

"Why me of all people?" Dee asked, sounding a mix of insulted and amused.

Clarissa shot her a look. "You really have to ask me that when you're a renowned painter showing all over the country? I was embarrassed and jealous. I envied you and it would've hurt my ego if you'd known how my career tanked."

"Oh." Dee was remarkably quiet as they continued walking. "Sorry. I didn't know you felt that way."

Clarissa's stomach twisted uncomfortably. She knew it wasn't meant condescendingly but even though it was all a long time ago, it still felt slightly tender. Maybe because she'd never once admitted any of this out loud. She'd done a good job at convincing everyone that she stayed in Crescent Valley by choice. Such a good job, she even came to believe it herself. And eventually, she made peace with it.

She let out a tight breath, simultaneously letting go of the current tension and past frustration. "Anyway, after I decided to stay, I couldn't paint for a good while. I think it was a year or so before I picked up a paintbrush again. It took time for me to stop being angry at the world and fate for dealing me this hand. Once I let go of that, I started to notice things to be grateful for. And when I was grateful, the world became more beautiful, so beautiful, I wanted to paint it. I had to paint it. That's how you'll break through your block too. You just have to find something that moves you, something that makes you feel . That's all."

"Something that moves me," Dee repeated quietly, clearly lost in thought.

They continued their stroll in silence and Clarissa didn't mind the quiet. She could tell Dee was trying to figure things out and she was happy to give her the space to do so. Instead, she focused on the sound of their shoes on the hard ground, the occasional bark from excited Millie, the noises of the night that could only be heard in the countryside. As much as she used to be sad that she hadn't left Crescent Valley, there was plenty she loved about it too. That was one of the things she had to accept, that it had been her choice to stay to look after her dad. And there was no reason to regret a choice she had made out of love.

Every now and then, she glanced at Dee who was beautiful in her contemplation. Her unruly dark hair stuck up in every direction and it really suited her narrow features and angled jaw. She was tall and slender, only highlighted by the very large coat that was practically swallowing her. There was definitely an unapproachable air about her but it wasn't as impenetrable as when she was a teenager. Back then, there'd been no way to really connect with Dee whereas now it felt like her defences were slightly lowered.

Clarissa was definitely enjoying the rare insights into Dee's mind.

Loud excited barking from Millie pulled her from her thoughts and made her realise she'd not really paid attention to where they were going until now. They were standing on the top of Vomit Hill, overlooking Crescent Lake in all its glory. Unlike the other night, the beach part was lit up with torches and fires in barrels for the ceremony. Groups of shifters, kin, and humans were waiting for their chance to jump into the water and discover if their fated mate was amongst the other brave souls risking it all for a chance of love.

"Ever taken part?" Clarissa found herself asking. It was none of her business.

Dee shrugged. "Once or twice. It's not really my thing. Painting is my great love, even if she's currently being an elusive bitch. "

The sudden harsh profanity made Clarissa snort. "Wowww, that's no way to speak about your great love. But the muse is a fickle mistress, that's definitely true."

"What about you?" Dee asked.

"I suppose painting is my great love too," Clarissa said, deliberately avoiding answering the question about the lake. It was cowardly, especially since the other woman had answered but she didn't want to say.

Dee nudged her. "What about finding a fated mate, though? You're a shifter so you definitely have one."

"I might've jumped once or twice too. Not recently, though." Clarissa stared down the hill at the spectacle happening on the beach. Even from the slight distance, she could feel the anticipation and hope in the air. It was definitely a sight that would make a great painting.

The peaceful moment was interrupted by a choking snort, a sound so familiar, it almost gave Clarissa PTSD. She knew exactly what it was, it was the sound of a dog trying to eat something they were definitely not meant to eat.

"Millie! What have you got?" Dee shouted, rushing over to the spaniel further down the hill.

Clarissa hurried after her, worried about what she might've found on Vomit Hill that a careless teenager had left behind.

The spaniel gagged again and something fell from her mouth. Before Dee could snatch it away, Millie picked it back up and ran away.

"Come back! Stop! Hey!" Dee ran after the dog but the spaniel's selective listening skills meant she wasn't giving up whatever tasty thing she found.

Clarissa tried to block the dog's path as she ran down too, not really noticing how much closer she was to Crescent Lake. How much closer both of them were.

"Millie! Leave it!" Dee's commands were futile. She drove Millie to the water's edge and the spaniel locked eyes with her. "Nooo!"

It was already too late. With a big splash, Millie jumped into the water. If it was a different day, this wouldn't have been such a problem but the water would be near freezing.

"Shit." Dee threw her coat off and jumped after her without a moment's hesitation.

Clarissa paced back and forth, trying to assess the situation. The spaniel hadn't gone far and Dee almost got hold of him, but she was hindered by all her clothing. When she grabbed hold of Millie, the added weight made her head dip under the water. It looked like a struggle, one that could go wrong very quickly.

A curse slipped from Clarissa's lips as she hurried out of her clothes, stripping down entirely. She didn't know if this was a good idea but it was all she had.

She called on her bear form, letting the magic flow through her. It engulfed her with smoke and let her body take on its other form. As a bear, she would have less trouble with the cold water and no risk of Dee pulling her under.

With one powerful jump, she threw herself into the lake, careful not to jump too close to them.

The freezing cold water engulfed her instantly and knocked the air out of her lungs. Even in her bear form, it was a massive shock.

She surfaced and kicked her paws, peddling over to Dee and Millie. She nudged into the woman's side and she felt Dee's hands grab fistfuls of fur in an attempt to stay afloat. Clarissa was beyond grateful for her bear form because this would've been much harder in her human body.

She swam to shore, her movements growing more sluggish as more of her fur got wet and heavy. Luckily, Dee pushed the dog onto the grass and heaved herself out, looking absolutely drenched and miserable.

Clarissa dragged herself out, glad to be out of the lake's grip. She shifted back and the cold really hit her now she no longer had her fur to insulate her.

A few steps away, Millie shook the water off of her, spraying them with ice cold droplets. Her tail vibrated from the motion as she trotted away, mostly unphased by the whole thing.

Typical.

"Fucking dog," Dee cursed, mostly sounding terribly relieved. She turned around, her mouth falling open when she realised Clarissa was absolutely naked. "T-Thank you for helping. I, umm, god, you must be freezing. Take my coat!"

"I'm fine," Clarissa assured her, clumsily using her scarf to dry her and pulling her clothes back on. "I'm more worried about you, you're going to get sick."

"I'll be okay, it's only twenty minutes back to my house."

"It's only five to the craft store," Clarissa said. "You and Millie can warm up there."

Surprisingly, Dee nodded without protest. Their eyes locked and the gratitude was clear on Dee's dripping wet face. There was something else too, the slightest hint of panic setting in as the realisation sank in of what just happened.

It didn't matter if they hadn't done the ritual on the beach, they'd jumped in the sacred lake on the night of the crescent moon.

Whether they liked it or not, both had just partaken in the fated mate ceremony.