Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

Windy

"Eat your sweet-potato hash. Don't just push it around the plate. You're not fooling anyone and you need the protein and carb mix that's in them." Deke's watching every forkful of my dinner like I'm a prisoner on a hunger strike.

"I am eating them. But my stomach's only so big and you already made me eat all the salmon, all the wilted spinach salad, and the fruit cup. I'm all fulled up." There's a whine to my voice I haven't heard myself using since I was a preteen tattling on my older siblings.

Part of me is waiting for him to sneer at me for being a bratty baby and tell me to be a grown-up dinner companion for him. He drove all this way and watched a whole soccer game just to be with me. Instead of entertaining him and being grateful that he's here, I'm a heartbeat away from having a meltdown and throwing a tantrum.

Now that I know Taryn's not really hurt, that it's part of the plan to fake Franklin out and catch him pushing drugs on athletes, the anxiety and stress is easing up. Maybe that's why I'm feeling all out of sorts and quarrelsome. That's a pretty self-aware realization considering it's not doing a damn bit to help me stop pushing for a fight.

"You'll be filled up when you finish the sweet potatoes or maybe we'll just put this dessert into the mini fridge for later," he says, firmly.

"That's what a mean Daddy says. We won our game. I should get pizza treats and not have to eat more yucky vegetables. Healthy food. Ugh. I hate it and I hate you!" I make a gagging sound completely inappropriate for a dinner table and realize I've gone too far.

Nerves fire through my stomach like acid laser beams and I wait for him to stand up and walk out. I'm being a super-bratty immature monster. Shame makes my hands shake and tears spring from my eyes.

"Daddy…I mean, Deke, I—" I want to tell him I'm sorry. Beg him not to quit loving me and being my Daddy because I'm being so bad at being his little girl right now. But the words tangle with the lump in my throat and the boulder on my chest.

Deke stands from his seat across the tiny hotel room table from me and my heart drops all the way to my toes. Sobs blast out of me from a depth I didn't know sobs could sob. Why'd I ruin the best thing that ever happened to me over stupid sweet potatoes? I don't even dislike them, they're delicious!

"Oh Windy, sweet girl, stop crying. I can't bear it." Shock freezes me, mid-wail, when instead of storming out of here and ditching my spoiled butt, he lifts me from my chair and takes my place in it. He settles me over his thighs and pulls me backward until I'm leaned against his solid chest.

He wraps his arms around me and hold me so tight I can hardly move. His five-o'clock shadow is rough on my cheek, and I realize he must have been on the road super early this morning to make it in time for my game. The shaky video call we'd had earlier makes sense now, because he must have pulled over so he could talk to me before the team left for the stadium. Deke's so generous with me, with his time, his affection, and even his patience.

"I'm so sorry." I sniffle. "I like sweet potatoes, even. I don't know what's wrong with me."

How Deke understands me through the hiccups and tears, I have no clue. He just rocks us back and forth and nuzzles until his lips are dropping soft kisses along my chin and neck. I'm not sure how much time passes, just being in his arms with the gentle sway soothing my frazzledness. Finally, I can feel the deep breath he takes when his chest rises and pushes me forward. My lungs copy him, taking my own deep calming breath.

"Ready to be calmed down now?" There's no anger or even frustration in his voice. The chill composure he's had this whole time seeps inside me until I'm mirroring him and feeling mellowed out.

"Yes?" I think I am.

"Good. Let's talk about what just happened. I need to know if you were upset because you didn't appreciate being scolded for not eating all of your dinner or if there's something else going on." His cool rationality is a stark contrast to the guys in my past. Most of the time they'd be looking for any excuse to cut and run anyway, so a meltdown like that would have been the absolute end. Of everything.

"Something else, I think."

"Do you want to tell me what made you so angry you'd say you hate me?" There's hurt in his voice and my stomach plummets again. Hurting Daddy is the worst feeling on earth.

"I didn't mean it, I swear I didn't. I'm just… just…" I need him to see inside my head right now and know the things that I can't figure out how to say. That's impossible. I know it is and still it's what I want more than anything.

"I know you didn't, little lush. But we need to make a rule that we don't ever say such uncaring things to one another. Because it hurts my heart to know you were upset enough to say such a thing and didn't tell me what was happening before it was too late."

"Are you going to break up with me?" My voice is so small Deke has to ask me to repeat myself.

When I say it a second time, loud enough for him to hear, his arms squeeze me so tight I lose my breath.

"Never, baby. I'm your Daddy, right?" The question isn't really a question because he answers it for me.

"And you're my very loved Little girl. Even when you're naughty. I think right now you're overtired and need a nap. Today was really hard. You played a big game, Daddy surprised you by coming to watch, you saw Taryn take a big flop."

"I thought it was real, Daddy!" I exclaim. The memory of how my best friend had crumpled to the turf and laid there under the player from the other team flashes before my eyes all over again.

"I know, and I'm so sorry we didn't tell you that there was a plan for Taryn to fake an injury. That was probably really scary, huh?" He lets go of me to rub his hands up and down my arms, chafing warmth into the goosebumps.

"I was so scared. And then I was sorta, a little bit, kinda mad that you didn't let me in on the secret." It isn't until the words are out of my mouth that I realize I really had been feeling some sort of way about not being included in the secret plan.

"I can understand that, sweetie. But it's never okay to lash out like that toward people we care about. Is it?"

My head probably looks like a bobblehead doll I'm nodding in agreement so hard. I feel so bad for being mean. It's not like me at all, and I really want Deke to believe me. I want to apologize over and over again so he'll forgive me.

"Do you think a punishment would help make sure you remember the new rule not to say mean things to others?" he asks.

I don't have an answer. Not a good one anyway. Deciding to be punished is more of a choice than my overloaded brain can manage. I shrug.

"I think my overwhelmed girl needs a timeout." Deke lifts me to my feet and pushes the chair we've been sharing away from the table.

He crosses to the single corner in the small hotel room that isn't cluttered with generic furniture and grabs a pillow from the unused second bed. He drops it on the floor about a foot from the wall and gestures for me to come to him.

"Normally when you do corner time, it'll be on your feet. But today's been a physically and emotionally exhausting day, so I want you to kneel. But Windy?" He pauses and I meet his eyes with my worried ones.

"Little Girls do timeouts with bare bottoms so they feel their Daddy watching them and know they're meant to be thinking about how to make better choices. Understand me?"

I nod my head because my tongue's too thick with nerves to string words together.

"Good, now I want you to put your knees on the pillow and lean your forehead against the wall. And think about how much I love you and never want to hear you even partway say you hate me again."

Deke takes hold of the sleep shirt I'd thrown on after my shower and wraps it into a loose knot at the small of my back. Then he tugs off my sweats and throws them onto the spare bed.

"What's your color, baby?"

"Green. I really am so sorry," I answer.

"I know, I am too. So let's get this punishment over and it'll be forgiven and forgotten. Okay?"

"Okay," I say. I turn to face the wall and Deke helps me get into position. He takes my hips and angles them a bit further out and I realize he's going to be able to see all of me from the waist down. I won't be able to see him at all. And I think that's the point.