Chapter 46

46

Rose's friend Betty had arrived home from Birmingham and agreed to stay with her for the night. Lottie dropped her mother and the bag of groceries at her house. By the time she returned home, her brain felt as scrambled as Rose's must be.

Louis was asleep in the child seat. She unbuckled the straps and lifted him into her arms without waking him. Once she had him inside and tucked up in bed, she made herself a cup of tea and sat at the kitchen table, still in her coat. The room was cold and she hoped the tea would warm her. Her thoughts were awash with family issues when she knew she should be taking time out to go over the investigations in the stillness of the night.

She needed to talk to someone who understood her and her family. She wanted to talk to Boyd, but his recent words still stung sharply. There was no way she could ask her kids to fend for themselves, no matter what age they were. They'd lost their dad while they were teenagers, and in effect she'd also been lost to them for the few years after Adam's death. She'd had to be mam and dad, and she still had so much to atone for.

Slipping her phone from her pocket, she tapped his name and waited before hitting call. Should she? Would it end in another war of words? He'd been grand at work, but this was personal.

Just as she decided not to call, to finish her tea and go to bed, her phone rang. Boyd.

‘Great minds, and all that,' she said.

‘Just wanted to see how you're doing.'

‘I could do with a hug.'

‘What has you so melancholy, besides having two murders on our watch?'

‘Mother.'

‘Is she okay?' He paused.

‘She was here earlier. Very confused. Thank God Betty is back. She's staying the night with her.'

‘Do you think Rose's condition is getting worse?'

‘Hard to say. She has some lucid times, when she realises she's forgetting things. And other times she's back there in another time. It's tough to watch, Boyd.'

‘Can I do anything to help?'

‘Not being a bollox about my kids moving out would help.'

‘I'm sorry. Okay? I've apologised and I won't mention it again.'

‘Thanks, but in a way you're right. The thing is, I can't abandon them.'

‘No harm in wanting something for yourself from time to time.'

‘Sergio and Grace are your only family. You would never desert them if someone asked you to, would you?'

He inhaled deeply before he replied. ‘I didn't ask you to desert anyone, Lottie. I feel it might be impossible to find a place suitable for our blended family. That's all I meant.'

She was grateful for his contrition. ‘We could renovate Farranstown House. I can ask Leo for a loan. Or a contribution, seeing as the bastard still legally owns the place.'

‘I think you'd be mad to put money into that house without having full ownership. Why don't you take a trip over to New York and talk to him? Iron it out, once and for all.'

‘Have you forgotten we have two major investigations on at the moment?'

He laughed. ‘I didn't mean you should hop on the next flight. It's something to think about.'

‘Okay.'

‘Don't think about it tonight. Get some sleep.'

‘I will. Thanks for the chat.' She sipped her now cold tea before adding, ‘Oh, I meant to ask, how is Grace getting on with Sergio?'

Boyd gave a wry laugh. ‘I think Sergio is growing weary of her constant orders and cleaning. But I treasure the time they spend together. He needs a mother figure.'

‘And you think your sister can provide that?'

‘Good God, no. I meant you. He needs you in his life. I do too.'

‘I get all that. Honestly, Mark, I do.'

‘Did I tell you Grace is getting married?'

‘No! I'm so happy for her. When?'

‘In the summer. Knowing Grace, she'll have it organised to a T. Now you get to sleep.'

‘Thanks again.'

‘Love you, Lottie Parker.'

At one time she'd found it so difficult to utter those words in reply, but she'd got over herself, because she knew in her heart that she did love him. Most of the time.

‘Love you too.'

She hung up, put her mug in the sink and switched off the light. As she made her way up the stairs, she hoped Chloe was safe at work and Katie was safe wherever she was, whoever she was with. They're adults, she thought, but at the same time they would always be her little children. And for some reason, a worm of fear was squirming in her chest as she undressed and got into bed. She twisted and turned, but she could not sleep.