Chapter 25

Dark clouds filled the sky, creating a deep sense of melancholy in the pit of Violet's stomach. Her emotions churned and tumbled over one another as tears streamed down her cheeks. The storm hadn't died down since her argument with Greyson the day before. In some strange way, she felt as if the crackling of thunder mirrored her shattering heart.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Augusta asked, placing her hand on the small of Violet's back comfortingly.

Yet, there was little at present that could make Violet feel better.

"You were wrong in thinking that Greyson was smitten with me. He was pretending all along, like I said." Her nails dug into her palms.

How could I let myself hope again?

She thought of all the brief moments where she had hoped that a future with Greyson was possible. She had hoped that they would be able to start a marriage based on their mutual feelings and thoughts.

Nothing was mutual.

"I don't understand, the way the two of you treated one another seemed so genuine and real—nothing ever seemed forced." Augusta shook her head in disbelief.

"Perhaps the two of us should take to the stage, then. We fooled all of you. I even managed to fool myself for a moment."

Violet angrily wiped the tears from her cheeks and stood up, walking over to the window. The sky was almost black as sheets of rain pelted the earth, drenching the already sodden streets. She lifted a hand and pressed her palm to the cold glass, creating an outline of her fingers on the pane.

Augusta took a deep breath, and in a gentle voice, she spoke, "I understand that you are upset now, but don't you think that there has been a misunderstanding between the two of you? It would be a crying shame if two people who are so clearly meant to be together parted ways because of a simple misunderstanding."

Violet whipped around and glared at her friend, tears streaming down her face like the streams outside on the street. "A simple misunderstanding? He said that he was growing tired of me, just as he assumed I was growing tired of him. If there was anything in that statement that is open to interpretation, then please let me know, because the message seems pretty clear to me!"

She had trusted him with her heart, even if she had been telling herself that things needed to end.

Was I hoping that he'd beg me not to end things?

The look on Augusta's face spoke volumes. Violet had hurt Greyson when she said things needed to come to an end. His response to her had been his way of retaliating. But doubts kept creeping into her thoughts.

What about all the women he had flirted with and even bedded before we met?

Augusta took another deep breath. "I won't force you to do anything you don't want to, but I will advise you to try and fix things with Lord Montclair. The two of you brought out the best in one another. He changed and gave up his rakish ways, and you… you came out of your shell to the point where I hardly recognized you—in a good way. You became so outspoken and almost fearless. That can't mean nothing."

Violet's chest began to ache again. She had never thought it possible that heartache could manifest into physical pain. Her chest kept clenching as if her heart were trying to burst out of her ribcage. She wished she could run and never have to face the pain and disappointment ever again. She had thought that the heartache from her past had been bad—this pain was something else entirely.

Because I didn't really love him like I love Greyson.

Shock ripped through her like a wave of ice, freezing her heart. How long had she been in love with him? Was it since the first time they kissed or the first time he touched her?

No.

Images of their courtship flashed in her mind, as if she were experiencing those moments for the first time.

The night at the ball when they had spoken and joked as if nobody else existed. The flowers that he'd tried to deny ever picking them. All the jokes and every look when she'd opened up to him and showed him the parts of her that nobody else had ever seen.

"I love him," she whispered, feeling the blood drain from her face as she lifted a hand to her throat.

The words felt strange on her lips.

She had thought for the longest time that love was something made up—something that people pretended to possess when they fooled themselves into believing lies. But love was something one felt deep in their soul. It was the innate ability to care more for another person than you cared for yourself.

She had failed in putting Greyson first, and that had only led to her heartache and the end of their courtship.

"I know, you have for quite some time. I am fairly certain that he loves you as well. The question is, what will you do about it?" Augusta placed her hands in her lap and pursed her lips, waiting for Violet to respond.

"I…"

Violet struggled to gather her thoughts. What would she do now that she had realized how she felt? Running into his arms and telling him the truth seemed like an impossible feat after the way he had looked at her in the rain.

What am I going to do?

Suddenly, a knock sounded at the door to her chambers.

"My Lady, there is someone here to see you. I'm afraid it's urgent and can't wait," the butler spoke through the door.

Violet looked at Augusta with a frown. It wasn't like the butler to disturb her in her chambers, especially not when he knew that her friend was visiting her.

The door opened even before Violet could respond.

Stuart came into view, his face white and flushed all at the same time, as if he'd had a shock and ran all the way to see her.

"I'm sorry for barging in like this, Violet." He nodded to Augusta in lieu of a greeting. "You must come at once. I have just been to see Greyson."

His coat was drenched, and his hair clung to his forehead.

Augusta sat up straight and raised her eyebrows, giving Violet a knowing look.

Had Greyson come to his senses and realized that he loved her too? The hope in her chest quickly evaporated when his words came to mind.

Just as tired as I am sure you were growing of me… "Stuart, we were just talking about what happened. Greyson and I will need some time to figure things out before we can speak again. Perhaps there will come a time when we can be friends, but until then…" she trailed off when Stuart frowned at her.

She needed more time to sit with her feelings and get used to the idea of loving someone. The thought alone was too scary to deal with at present.

"What do you mean by that?" He furrowed his brow, his chest still heaving up and down.

Augusta stood up and came to her side when they both realized that something was amiss. Stuart seemed just as bent out of shape as Violet was.

"You said that you just came from seeing Greyson. I assumed that he told you about our decision to end our courtship?" Violet felt confused as a feeling of doom coiled in the pit of her stomach.

Thunder crackled outside, followed by a bright flash that lit up the entire room for a few moments.

Stuart swore under his breath and shook his head in disbelief, before straightening up. "How did that happen? The last time we spoke, he was on his way to propose to you—and no, it wasn't part of the silly, little agreement that the two of you had."

Her world spun as she reached for Augusta, catching her just in time before she fainted.

"Violet!" Augusta cried and held her up, before helping her to her bed.

Violet let out a sob. "He was going to propose to me, and I ended things before he even had a chance to speak."

Stuart shot her a puzzled look. "I didn't realize that anything else had happened. But why would I, given the circumstances? Why would you end things with Greyson? We could all see that the two of you were head over heels in love with one another."

"Thank you! I've been saying that since the start!" Augusta huffed, finally feeling as if someone was seeing things clearly.

Violet shook her head and tried to focus. "That doesn't matter now. You said that something happened?"

She couldn't believe that Greyson had been on his way to ask for her hand in marriage, and she had gone and ruined things—possibly forever.

The look of confusion on Stuart's face quickly turned into one of sorrow. "It's his mother, she isn't doing very well. I think you should go there at once—he needs you, Violet," he spoke softly. "I don't think she has much time left."

Their voices faded into the background along with the crackling thunder.

Violet felt sick to her stomach as she fought not to lose consciousness. She had known that the Dowager Countess was sick, but was she really that ill that she had taken a turn for the worse overnight?

A cold shiver ran down her spine. Had Christina heard of the argument between her and Greyson?

Violet's heart shattered at the thought of hurting a sickly woman so much that she had driven her to her deathbed. She'd never forgive herself if Christina died after hearing of her actions.

"Violet, can you hear me?" Augusta shook her shoulder gently.

"Yes?" Violet blinked back the tears that now brimmed in her eyes for entirely different reasons than her heartbreak.

"You went quiet. Must we send for the smelling salt, or are you able to go with Lord Arlington?" Augusta asked in a concerned voice. "You suddenly look very pale."

Violet took a deep breath and stood up, steeling herself. "No, I will go with Stuart. Will you let Mama and Papa know what has happened? They weren't here when I arrived back home yesterday. They need to know that Lady Montclair has been taken ill."

Augusta chewed on her bottom lip nervously and wrung her hands. "And you and Lord Montclair? Should I mention anything about the end of your courtship?"

Violet shook her head quickly and looked at Stuart. "No, I don't think we should tell anyone else until Greyson and I have had a chance to talk. There has been far too much confusion and misunderstanding as it is."

He held her gaze but then nodded after a moment. "We had better get going. Greyson had already gone to the apothecary—he doesn't know that I am here. There is no telling how he will react when we arrive. We had better be prepared to put out the fire." He gave her a warning look that made her stomach churn.

Would Greyson even allow her to see his mother when she arrived? There was every possibility that he'd ask her to leave or not speak to her at all. Did he blame her for his mother's illness?

Her heart raced with fear as she swallowed past the lump in her throat. They hadn't even set off yet, and her arms and legs were already beginning to tremble.

"We had better get going. Put something warm on, the weather is cold outside." Stuart turned on his heel and hurried out of her chambers, leaving her and Augusta alone.

Augusta quickly pulled Violet into her arms before she could say anything at all. "I know this is scary. See his mother first, and then, when the two of you have a chance to speak, tell him that you made a mistake. An apology can go a long way."

Closing her eyes, Violet melted into her friend's embrace. "I am so scared, Augusta. I don't want to lose them. They have both come to mean so much to me in the short time we've known each other."

Tears welled up in her eyes again, but she held them back, or else she would break down.

Pulling back, Augusta forced an encouraging smile on her face, tears brimming in her own bright green eyes. "I know how scary this must be for you. I won't lie to you and say that Lady Montclair will pull through, but you must be there for Lord Montclair. He needs you now more than ever."

"I know, I just hope he wants me there," Violet croaked, her shoulders quaking with a silent sob.

Why did everything have to turn out like this? She had been the first to run, but she hadn't realized what his intentions had been.

She could have kicked herself for being so hasty and selfish. Greyson needed her more than she needed to protect herself, and she was going to try and make it up to him, no matter how scary the situation was at present.