Chapter 23

Greyson stared into his glass as he swirled the amber liquid. He'd invited Stuart over to his lodgings to hear his opinion on Violet's feelings, but now he wasn't sure.

"On the one hand, I am surprised that you asked me to come over, but on the other hand, I must say that I am scared. Are you about to confess your feelings for me?" Stuart reached for one of the little cucumber sandwiches on the tray between them and proceeded to unceremoniously shoveled it in his mouth. "If that is the case, then I must tell you that I don't feel the same. I only see you as a friend." He continued to talk with his mouth full.

Greyson glared at his friend and the crumbs that fell down the front of his jacket. "If I had those… inclinations, then I assure you that you would not be the one for me. Must you behave like an animal?"

"I am nothing but true to my nature." Stuart nodded proudly and swallowed, before reaching for his glass of whiskey.

"To cut to the chase, I asked you to come over because I think I am going to ask Violet to be my wife," Greyson stated bluntly.

"I beg your pardon?" Stuart turned red in the face as he choked on his drink.

Ignoring his friend, who had begun to pound his chest with his fist in an attempt to force the amber liquid down, Greyson continued, "I have given the matter a great deal of thought, and I have concluded that while I still do not believe in love, I do believe that Violet is the perfect woman for me. She will be able to keep me amused while we face the world together."

His heart beat furiously in his chest once the words were out. It was one thing to believe he could trust someone again, but it was another matter entirely to speak the words out loud.

Stuart gulped in a breath and put his glass back on the table. "As in a proper marriage? Not just this little ruse that the two of you have been carrying out?"

"I'm not sure that it would be wise to try and fool God. Of course I mean a proper marriage. If I am ever to take the plunge, then Violet is the perfect person to stand at my side. Neither of us believe in true love. The way I see it, we can spend the rest of our lives together, making fun of those who do." Greyson downed the rest of his whisky to ease his nerves.

Sharing his decision with Stuart hadn't been an easy task. He knew that once he spoke the words, he'd be one step closer to stepping into territory that he'd sworn off long ago. He had intended to give Violet the necklace as a symbol of his sincerity, but there had been something else at that moment. He had watched her coming toward him at the end of the path, and the thought of anyone else touching her had made him scared.

He wanted her at his side forever, wanted her to share his bed and be the first person he woke up to in the morning. If any of that was love, then the concept of marriage didn't seem so terrible to him anymore. The fear of someone walking out on him again still lingered in the back of his mind, but the feeling of being without Violet scared him even more.

"Do you hear the irony in your words? You don't believe in true love but you wish to have Violet at your side for the rest of your life?" Stuart looked at him with his mouth slightly agape and his head tilted to the side.

"Yes, I don't see why you are struggling to grasp the concept. Both Violet and I feel the same way, why should we not pretend to be in love for the rest of our lives? I know it would certainly set our parent's minds at ease and we'd never again have to deal with all this matchmaker nonsense." Greyson waved a dismissive hand. The idea still caused him a great deal of irritation.

Stuart stared at him incredulously. "One very good reason I can give you to not pretend for the rest of your lives is that the two of you are absolutely smitten with one another. There's hardly a moment when you aren't looking at her or when she's not looking at you. You may not realize it, and this may not encompass the entirety of the feeling, but the two of you are one hundred percent in love with one another."

"If you believe that, then all the better. Everyone else around us will believe it, too, and leave us alone."

Greyson stood his ground despite the small voice at the back of his head agreeing with his friend. There was every chance that he and Violet were truly in love with one another, but he wasn't about to admit that to anyone when he didn't know how Violet felt.

Stuart sighed so deeply that even Greyson could see that his lungs hurt. "Putting that madness aside, what about other women? Will you keep a mistress here in your quarters, or will you take your vows seriously and fully commit to Violet?"

Greyson knew that the question was coming and had already given the matter a great deal of thought. The truth was that he'd never be able to touch another woman ever again and not think of Violet. She had consumed him in such a way that he wholly belonged to her now.

"I will honor my vows and never look at another woman again. Violet will be the sole focus of my attention."

Stuart narrowed his eyes at him for a moment and bit his cheek before bursting into laughter.

"And what exactly is so amusing?" Greyson glared at him.

Stuart sobered up and looked at Greyson with an encouraging smile. "Nothing, nothing at all. You aren't in love with her, but you have given up your rakish ways and want to spend the rest of your life with her. I must say that I never thought I would see the day, but I am glad that I have. If you do choose to go ahead with this plan—which I fully agree with, by the way—then may I suggest that you add just a little more romance to your proposal? Try and avoid telling Violet that you don't love her but do add the part about never wanting to look at another woman ever again."

"I think I know Violet better than you do," Greyson snapped. "She doesn't fall for those romantic lines that everyone tells each other. She's smarter than that."

"I meant no offense. I only meant that I think you are making the right decision." Stuart held his hands up in mock surrender before standing up. "I will say this before I leave. Violet is the first person to make you consider trusting people again since your father left. That must mean something, whether you are in love with her or not."

His words rang in Greyson's ears long after he left.

Was Greyson truly in love with Violet? Perhaps that was something they could figure out together once they were married.

* * *

Violet's throat felt dry as she gripped the edge of her seat. The nausea churning in the pit of her stomach was beginning to drive her insane, her knuckles turning white from the pressure.

"Will you please tell me now why you have been acting so strangely since you went into that orchard? You weren't exactly the picture of happiness before, but something changed out there."

The two were sitting in Lady Oakhampton's private parlor, that she had decorated soon after her marriage. Augusta had decorated the room with shades of brown and gold, giving it a warm feeling of autumn fire.

She gave Violet a pitying look and poured her a second cup of tea.

"If anything happened between you and Lord Montclair in the orchard, please know that it is normal for everyone. Hardly anyone waits until marriage when you truly love one another," she ventured. "In fact, I can't even begin to tell you how many of the ladies have confessed that very thing to me. Passions run high when two people are in love."

Taking a deep breath, Violet worked up the courage to tell her friend the truth. "I've been lying to you and everyone else—we both have."

Augusta's hand stilled, the teapot hovering just above the rim of her cup. "Lying about what?"

"Greyson and I were never truly courting. We came up with a clever ruse to deceive everyone into thinking that we were serious. We agreed to carry out the plan for a few months so that our families leave us alone for a while at least, and then end things."

It felt good to finally tell another person about the ruse, yet Violet's honesty did little to ease her nausea.

"I see." Augusta let out a breath and lowered the teapot. "This entire time?"

Violet nodded and lifted her head to meet her friend's gaze. "The entire time. We agreed to act as if we were smitten with one another."

Augusta shook her head, and Violet thought she was in for a scolding. "Well, that's just the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard in my life. Why would two sensible people agree to something like that in the first place? And please tell me that the two of you have realized how wrong you were?"

The guilt of having deceived everyone came flooding back. "Yes, or at least I did realize how cruel it was to lie to everyone. It was a shameful thing to do, especially to his mother. Lady Montclair is one of the sweetest women on earth, and it's made me sick to my stomach every time I had to lie to her."

Augusta sighed heavily and shook her head again. "I can see that you actually haven't realized it yet. Neither of you was pretending. I agree that you shouldn't have tried to deceive anyone, but you weren't acting. Greyson is just as smitten with you as I am sure you are with him. There is no denying the way you look at one another."

Violet felt her heart clenching again at the thought of Greyson possibly being in love with her. The thought had crossed her mind after their dalliance in the orchard, but not one single part of her wanted to believe that it was true.

It's not true, love doesn't exist.

"It's not true, Augusta. Greyson and I have simply been lying. I think it's time to end things before anyone gets hurt. To make matters worse, I think his mother is sick, and I don't know how to tell him or if he's even aware of it." Her eyes filled with tears as she swallowed past the lump in her throat.

The Dowager Countess had become so dear to her over the course of their courtship that she wasn't sure how she or even Greyson would handle things if anything were to happen to her.

"Oh, darling Violet." Augusta's voice was filled with sympathy as she rounded the table and crouched down in front of her friend.

"I don't know how to tell him. I have to end things before it gets any worse." The tears rolled freely down Violet's cheeks now, releasing the emotions she had been holding back.

Augusta gripped Violet's hands in her own and gave them a gentle squeeze. "My dearest Violet, I can't imagine how much pain you must have been in all this time. I thought you had healed from what happened in the past, but I can see now that you are far from making your peace with it. As for Lady Montclair, I did notice that she didn't look too well, but I was hoping that she was just tired or caught a chill. Is there nothing that the doctors can do for her?"

Shaking her head, Violet began to tremble. She'd kept her fears bottled up for so long that it felt as if a well were bursting. "She said that it was her maid who was ill, but I saw the woman, and she's healthier than a horse. If his mother is truly the one who is sick, then what she was saying is that nothing can be done for her any longer."

Augusta sighed deeply. "Things make so much sense now. She was pushing Lord Montclair to meet someone because she wants him to be happy when she's no longer here."

Violet hiccupped. "I can't keep lying to her, Augusta. She will be so hurt. Greyson and I need to end things before she gets hurt."

"Violet, look at me. Please, don't end things with Lord Montclair. I am more than certain that he's in love with you. You aren't trying to save his mother from hurt, you're trying to save yourself from having your heart broken a second time. This isn't necessary. I implore you to listen to me. The two of you can support each other once his mother…" Augusta's voice broke. "When she'll need you the most."

Violet shook her head, unable to feel anything but the fear creeping into her bones. She couldn't lie to a dying woman, nor could she keep up the pretense any longer. Things would turn out better if they told everyone the truth. Greyson could be there for his mother, and she could go on with her plan of becoming a spinster.

"Please, don't do this…" Augusta began to cry along with Violet.

"I have to, it's for the best." Violet's face crumpled again as fresh, hot tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving a trail of pain and regret for ever having gone along with the ruse, to begin with.

Far too much was at stake when people got their hopes too high.

Things need to end before it is too late.