Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

E ven though she knew she needed to get back and knew she had already been gone far longer than was proper, it took her a few minutes to convince herself to walk back down the hall. She spent a few minutes taking calming breaths until she felt like herself again.

Even once she did that, she still couldn’t make herself move.

Every time she thought of her cousin or that man, she wanted nothing more than to run from the party back home, lock herself in her bedroom, and tell her mother everything.

Not that her mother would have been able to do much to stop Simon either.

No, the only way out of this was to convince Thomas that he didn’t want her, and the only way to do that was to get back out there.

Squaring her shoulders, she took a deep breath and pushed into the hall.

She was surprised when she joined the party that Christopher was already here. She must have been gone longer than she thought.

Glancing around the room, she scanned the crowd before her gaze made it back to him. She wondered briefly if she should go speak to him, but she shook the thought from her head as fast as if formed.

It wouldn’t be smart to approach him. Given their plan, she should keep her distance unless she wanted to risk something going wrong.

Still, perhaps it would be better for them to be seen together leading up to the scandal. It would seem like less of a shock to people.

Not to mention he was probably some of the better company here after all, and?—

Amber shook her head.

What was she thinking?

She could hardly stand Christopher. He was so full of himself that Amber had no desire to talk to him. If she didn’t need his help for her plan, she would never have spoken to him in her life.

All she should be focusing on is making sure no one noticed anything amiss.

Thankfully, it seemed no one had. As far as Amber could tell, if anyone had noticed her absence, they kept it to themselves. More likely, she thought bitterly to herself, no one had noticed at all.

And why would they?

Aside from Simon and Thomas, who would bother keeping an eye on an unmarried woman of no real status or fortune who wasn’t out? She was hardly the most interesting person there, and she would hardly say she was friends with any of the guests.

The closest thing would probably be Mary, and even then, the woman took on a role more akin to an older sister, making sure Amber kept out of trouble here and there more than anything else when they did see each other which wasn’t often.

All that together meant they were hardly what Amber would call close.

She knew she should be relieved that no one noticed her absence, and in a sense, she was, but there was also something so isolating about realizing that no one would notice if she just vanished.

Mixed feelings warring in her heart, Amber slinked along the wall before taking a seat on one of the sofas. Perhaps she could get through the rest of the evening without being bothered. After all, as far as she could tell, both Simon and Lord Gillion were nowhere to be seen.

But to her surprise, she wasn’t there long before Felicity came over with a bright smile on her face.

“I was wondering where you ran off to,” she said. “Come to think of it, you aren’t the only one I haven’t been able to find for a bit.

A beat of horror went through her at what the other woman was implying. “Lady Felicity, I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re implying. I didn’t run off anywhere. I was just sitting here. I can be a bit of a wallflower.”

She hummed, a bright smile on her face. “Forgive me. I wasn’t meaning to imply anything. I’m sorry if it sounded like I was.”

Amber found herself relaxing at the sheer amount of sincerity in her voice. “It’s all right. I’m sure it was just a simple miscommunication.”

She seemed to light up even brighter at that. “I’m so glad! Have you been having a nice evening?”

“It’s been all right. What about yourself? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before. It doesn’t seem like you know too many people.”

“I don’t, but that’s part of what makes it fun, isn’t it?”

Amber tried not to grimace at the sheer force of her excitement. “I suppose.

“It must be harder for you. Since you’re not out, I mean.”

Amber frowned, feeling her defenses beginning to rise once again. “I don’t understand. What must be hard?”

If Felicity noticed the shift in her tone, she kept it to herself. “Forgive me, I didn’t properly explain myself again. All I meant was that it must be hard to meet people. I know it’s hard for me, and I have the benefit of balls and afternoon parties and promenades and of course, my brother’s guidance. When are you going to come out?”

Amber faltered. “I—well my cousin isn’t sure when. He wants to make sure I have time to properly mourn my father first. Which is understandable.”

Felicity frowned. “I was wondering why I’ve only seen you wear black, but hasn’t it been a little long to still be in mourning?” She gasped. “I’m so sorry. That was rude. Please forget I asked.”

Amber couldn’t help but smile. She didn’t know it was possible for someone to be so open and earnest. Lady Felicity couldn’t hide something if you offered her the world. Her eyes gave everything away. Despite being the same color as Christopher’s, they were so different from his.

Where his were critical, skeptical, and piercing, hers were soft, open, and welcoming. They were constantly filled with compassion and understanding.

It had Amber softening and even answering honestly, “No, it’s a fair question. I agree, it has been longer than is considered standard. I’ve often wondered when he would finally present me.” Amber sighed. “I’m beginning to think he never will.” Then it was Amber’s turn to gasp. “Forgive me. We’ve only just met. I shouldn’t be talking all this out with you.” She couldn’t believe she confessed that! Just because Felicity had a kind face didn’t mean Amber needed to share all her secrets.

Felicity leaned in with a conspiratory smile on her face. “I can understand your concern, but you don’t need to worry. I’m not a gossip, and you seemed close with my brother. Any friend of his is a friend of mine. Anything you say will remain between us, I promise.”

“That’s kind of you to say, but I don’t know him that well. We only just met, and even in that time, I would hardly say he’s given me anything even close to a ringing endorsement.”

She laughed. “Somehow, I doubt that. The very fact that he is willing to spend time with you at all is more of an endorsement than you realize. If he didn’t like or approve of you, then he simply wouldn’t speak with you.”

“Why? And quite honestly how? It isn’t as though he could simply choose not to speak to me. We are at a social gathering. It would be seen as rather rude to simply ignore me.”

“My brother, he tends to avoid unmarried women. Since he claims he has no intention of marrying, he finds it… difficult when women take a liking to him, so he tends to avoid making friends with them. The very fact that he is friends with?—”

“As he said, we barley know each other, so friends might be a strong word.”

She just chuckled. “So you’ve said, but I am going to stick with friends for the time being. Anyway, as I was saying, the very fact that he is friends with you tells me that you must be extraordinary. It only makes me wonder why your cousin wouldn’t want to present you. You have the potential to be the most eligible woman in the ton.”

Amber laughed, looking away. “You must think very highly of your brother to form that opinion based on the simple fact that he is willing to speak to me. I assure you, there’s nothing extraordinary about me. I’m just an ordinary woman.”

She just shook her head. “Somehow, I don’t believe that. I know it might not make sense, but yes, I think you must be extraordinary. I do. I mean it. I hope your cousin lets you come out soon. I would love to attend a ball with you.”

She couldn’t help herself. She’d been holding everything in for so long. Amber couldn’t stop the words from spilling from her lips. “Yes, well as I said, as much as I hate to admit it, I doubt you will have the chance. I sincerely think he never has any intention of presenting me.”

“I still don’t understand.” Felicity shook her head. “Does he not want you to marry?”

Amber grimaced. “Something like that.”

“But why? Surly it would be in his best interest for you to make a good match!”

Amber looked away. “I think he has something else in mind.” She shook her head with a sigh. “Please forget I mentioned this. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Especially not to someone I hardly know.

“Please, as I said, you don’t need to worry. Anything you say here will stay between us, I assure you.”

“Thank you. I can only hope you’re telling the truth.”

Felicity smiled. “I am. You’ll see.”

For a moment the pair slipped into silence, both of them studying the rest of the room as the other members of the party milled about.

After a while, Felicity crossed her arms, a pout on her face. “Well, your cousin can’t keep you hidden away forever.”

“Is that right?”

“It is!”

“If he won’t present me, then there isn’t anything I can do about it. Please, try not to worry yourself. I’m sure I will manage. You don’t need to worry.”

Felicity frowned. “I don’t need to worry? I know. I was going to tell you that you don’t need to worry.”

“What do you mean?”

“Even if he doesn’t present you, you are my friend now. I will do what I can to help you meet people. I will make a point to go on walks with you and ask you over for tea all the time. If you just have the opportunity, then I’m sure someone will still fall for you. Even if all you had was your limited social circle, I don’t doubt you will find a way to make someone fall for you.”

She looked away. Amber forced a smile on her face at the woman’s kind words, trying to push away the burning behind her eyes. Why couldn’t they have met even just a few weeks prior?

If they had, perhaps Amber’s situation would be different. Perhaps she might have met a kind young man she could have gone to when Simon told her his plan. Perhaps she could still have at least some of the future she’d always dreamed about.

But that door had already slammed firmly shut, locking her out forever.

Of course, she couldn’t tell Felicity any of that. She’d already told the other women far too much as it is. She couldn’t say any of what was really on her mind, couldn’t dare give breath to any of the thoughts racing around in her chest, so instead, she simply smiled and said, “That’s very kind for you to say.”

Felicity crossed her arms, a small pout coming to rest on her small heart-shaped face. Amber had never seen a woman who managed to look pretty while pouting, but somehow, Felicity managed, looking sweet rather than petulant, like Simon had always told Amber she looked. Though to be fair, he said that regardless of what face Amber felt like she was making. “It’s not kind. It’s true. Give it time. I’m sure you’ll see I’m right soon enough. I doubt it will even take all that long. I can’t imagine it taking more than a few months.”

Amber forced a smile against the way her heart was breaking. It was a shame she didn’t have that long left.

She wanted to tell Felicity it was a waste. That marriage was off the table for her, and it was better to simply accept it, but that would only lead to more questions. In the end, she simply smiled and said, “I suppose only time will tell.”

“It’s all right to let yourself get excited,” Felicity assured, leaning in once more. “Once I have decided to meddle, I rarely let it go until I’ve gotten my way, and Amber, I have decided to meddle until you are at last presented in the way you deserve.”

Amber forced her smile to stay in place despite herself. “Is that right?”

“It is! Oh, you won’t have to worry about a thing. I’ve already begun working on a plan that I just know will work perfectly.” Felicity beamed at her.

“Did you? Well, that was fast!”

“It’s important to work fast on these kinds of things.”

Amber couldn’t help but chuckle. Felicity had no idea how right she was, but no matter how fast her plan was, it would still be far too slow to save her.

“It’s a shame it took us so long to meet,” she said.

“I couldn’t agree more!” Felicity gushed. “But at least we finally have, and now that we have, I can help you.”

“So you keep saying, but you have yet to explain how you can do that.”

She put a finger to her lips. “It’s a secret.”

“A secret, but why?”

“I can’t tell you that. That’s what a secret means.”

“Of course, but you will tell me someday?” Amber wasn’t sure why she asked. She knew whatever plan Felicity might have was all for not. There was no point in giving herself any kind of false hope.

Still for the moment, it was rather fun to give in and let herself pretend.

“Of course, I will! The second I pull it off, then I will tell you every detail of it! Oh, it will be so wonderful to see you out on the floor. I’m sure you must be a wonderful dancer.”

Amber laughed. “Actually, I’m probably a terrible dancer.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because I’ve never learned.”

“You haven’t?” Felicity gasped. “Well, try not to worry; that is an easy enough fix. We can make plans for you to learn with me until your cousin agrees. You can come over my place, and we can practice together. How does that sound?”

“Heavenly,” she answered honestly for once. Even if it was just a daydream, in that moment, it truly seemed like the sweetest one Amber was capable of imagining.

She couldn’t help but picture the pair of them, making their way into ballrooms, dance cards full to bursting. They would spend the evening dazzling possible suitors then the next afternoon having tea and giggling about the men they had met and their future prospects.

It wouldn’t be long between the two of them that both of them were able to make happy matches and settle into the lives they both so rightly deserved, but of course, it was just a fantasy.

“You must tell me more about yourself!” Felicity said. “What are your hobbies? How do you spend your time.”

Amber shrugged, looking away. “I’m afraid I’m not very interesting.”

“Oh, you should be so hard on yourself! Even if it doesn’t sound exciting to you doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to hear about it.”

“All right, if you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Then I would say my biggest passion is embroidery. I know it isn’t the most interesting and almost every young woman learns it, but I could spend all day working on it and still want to do more.”

Felicity smiled. “That’s wonderful. Do you have any particular motifs that you like to work on?”

Amber hesitated.

“You do! Oh, you have to tell me! Go on, please!”

“I really like to work on uncommon motifs. Some of my favorites are fish. I think they are a wonderful challenge.”

“Oh!” Felicity exclaimed. “You must show me some of your work sometime! I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone do a fish before! What else do you do?”

“Fish are my favorite like I said, but I also do a lot of birds and animals in general. Sometimes I do full landscapes, and I’ve even tried my hand at embroidered portraits though those didn’t turn out very well.”

“I doubt that. I would love to see them sometime. I didn’t know embroidery could be used that way. It's almost like you’re painting.”

“That is actually what I try to go for. I never had any talent with a brush, but a needle on the other hand…” she trailed off.

“That really is incredible! I hope you know that.”

“That’s very kind of you to say.”

“It isn’t kind. It’s simply true.”

Amber looked away. “Regardless, thank you.”

Felicity smiled. “You wouldn’t happen to have anything you made here with you, would you?”

“I would have to look through the things I brought to be sure, but I think I brought the piece I’m working on if nothing else.”

“Would you be willing to show me? Perhaps some time tomorrow?”

“If you’d like, I can absolutely do that.”

“I would love that! Thank you so much!”

“It’s nothing, really. I’ll also see if I have anything with me that’s finished, so you can see what my work looks like rather than just a work in progress.”

“I’d hate for you to go to all that trouble.”

“It’s no trouble, I assure you. I turn most of my finished projects into accessories. I’m sure I have a fan or a reticule that I made; I might even have a dress with some of my own work on it, considering most of the ones I own are finished by me.”

“That’s incredible! I don’t think I’ve ever made any of my own accessories, let alone clothing!”

“To be clear, I didn’t make the clothing. I only embellished them.”

“It’s still rather impressive. My stitches have always been so unsightly, I would never dare to wear my own work. It’s such a shame. I always wished I was the kind of person who could give lovely handmade gifts, but it just isn’t to be.”

“Embroidery is a skill; you can get better at it with enough practice.”

“I could say the same thing to you about painting, but if I remember correctly, you said you gave it up because you didn’t think you were good at it.”

“You are right, but that had more to do with a lack of patience than anything else. If I’d stuck to it, I would probably be decent at it by now.”

“Sounds similar to what happens with me and embroidery.”

“How so?”

“I find myself coming back to it every now and again. When I do, I sit down with the best of intentions. I tell myself, this time I’m going to take it slow. This time I’m going to make something worth showing off, and for a while, I do take my time. Then a few hours pass, and I get impatient, so my stitches get bigger, spaced out more, and it isn’t long before I declare my sloppy mess a failure.”

“It sounds to me like you’re being too hard on yourself.”

“Somehow I doubt you’d say that if you saw any of my work.”

Amber lit up, squaring her shoulders. “Then you’ll just have to show me sometime.”

“No!” Felicity gasped.

Amber laughed. “Don’t worry, I won’t push you on it, but I do think you should sit with me while you work one day. I can give you an honest opinion on your technique, and it’s easier to be patient when you have something else to focus on, like conversation.”

“And I’m sure the better the conversation, the easier it is.”

“Yes, I would say so.”

“Then sure, why not? I can think of no one else I would be able to have such wonderful and easy conversation with.”

“We only just met.”

“Yes, and look at just how well we’re getting on! If anything, it would give us more time to get to know each other.” She leaned in with a grin. “Something tells me we will be seeing even more in the future.”

Amber blinked, heart pounding in her chest. “I- I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Don’t worry,” Felicity grinned. “I won’t say anything.”

Before she could collect her response and respond, Amber noticed Simon storming straight over to them.

“Oh no,” she sighed.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“My cousin is coming over. Please, don’t mention anything we talked about.”

Before she could say whether or not she had agreed, he was standing in front of them, a snake’s smile plastered on his face.

Her heart pounded in her chest. She could only pray Felicity would be true to her word and keep the details of their conversation to herself.

“Amber, dear,” he cooed in a sickly-sweet voice. “It’s getting late. Don’t you think you should get some sleep?”

“Is it?” she blinked, searching for a clock somewhere in the room. “I didn’t think it was even nine thirty!”

“It isn’t about the specific time. All that matters is that it’s getting late. At a minimum, it is far too late for someone who isn’t out yet. Why don’t I walk you to your room?”

“But it isn’t that late, and I’m not tired yet.”

“Amber is right,” Felicity cut in. “It really isn’t that late, and it is a small intimate gathering. It surely isn’t that bad for her to stay a little bit later.”

He turned to her, the mask on his face faltering for a moment. “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.”

“I’m Lady Felicity. You must be Amber’s cousin.”

“Simon Parr, Earl of Heathfield,” he said. “And how did you meet my dear cousin, might I ask?”

“We’re new friends. We just met here through some mutual acquaintances.” She smiled. “She’s a lovely woman. I hope to see her at a ball in the not-too-distant future.”

He glared. “That’s rather forward of you to say. I’m sure you know Amber isn’t out yet.”

“Oh, I know, but surely you wouldn’t want to wait much longer. She’s such a lovely woman. I’m sure she would easily be able to make a wonderful match.”

“How kind of you to be so concerned for her. It also appears you have a lot of faith in her for someone who does not yet know her well.”

“What can I say? She made a lasting first impression.”

“That doesn’t really sound like her.” Then he turned back to Amber. “Come along, now. I think you’ve had enough fun for tonight.”

She wanted to argue, but Amber knew it wasn’t the time.

She glanced at Felicity. “I need to go. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Then I look forward to seeing you at breakfast.”

Amber got to her feet and followed after him. As she walked, she shot Felicity an apologetic look. She could only hope the other woman would understand.

She held her tongue until they were out of the main room of the party. “It really isn’t that late. Is this really necessary?”

He sighed, shaking his head. “Amber, Amber, Amber, you don’t need to think about that. All you need to do is trust me.”

“But—”

“You’re too young and naive to know what’s best for you,” he cut her off.

“And you do?”

“Of course, I do. As your guardian, it is my job to know, and do you want to know what I think you should do right now?”

“I have a feeling my answer to that question doesn’t matter, so why don’t you just tell me, so we can be done with it.”

“It’s good to see you can be clever when you wish to be. I think you should go to sleep. It’s late, and you need your rest.”

“But—”

“Amber,” his voice came out sharply. She couldn’t help but shrink back at the steel in his voice. “It was an order, not a request. Now, come on.”

She nodded then followed her cousin further down the hall. Still, she could only hold her tongue for so long.

“Do you want to tell me what this is about?” she tried again when she was sure they were far enough away that there was no risk of anyone overhearing them.

He curled his lips in annoyance, the last remaining pieces of his mask finally falling away. “I believe I should be the one asking you that, so allow me to repeat the question. Do you want to tell me what that was about?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Then allow me to be blunt. Do you want to tell me why you were talking with that girl instead of Lord Gillion?”

“Do you want to tell me why you want me to spend so much time with him?”

Then he had the audacity to laugh. “Are you truly foolish enough not to know what’s happening?”

“I have an idea, but I want to hear you say it.”

“Because he’s the man you’re going to marry.”

“And you think you can just make that decision for me?”

“Yes, I can,” he said with a breezy sigh. “I am your guardian after all. It’s only right that your husband should be picked by me.”

Her lips curled in disgust. “As if I’d marry someone just because you told me to. Why would I do that just because you told me to? Have you been paying attention at all these past few years?”

He sighed, shaking his head. “Amber, Amber, Amber, I expected better from you. Despite you asking me that, I have to wonder if you aren’t talking about yourself. After all, we both know there are consequences not just for you but for your mother if you reject my help in finding you a good match.”

She swallowed. “Leave her out of this. This is between you and me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. This is what I mean about you being naive. Your match is a family affair, and while I would love to leave her out of this, I can only do that if you behave yourself. Otherwise, I would just be derelict in taking care of you as your guardian. So here’s what’s going to happen. You are going to go into your room and go to bed. In the morning, you will talk with Thomas and charm him. We can both only hope he actually likes you.”

She clenched her hands into fists. “I understand,” she gritted out.

“Good girl.”

“But I want you to know, I’m not doing this for you. I would never do this for you. Anything I do is for my mother’s sake.”

“I couldn’t be bothered to care about why you obey. All that matters to me is that you do, and you understand the consequences if you don’t. Now, I am going to get back to the party. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Aren’t you worried about what it could do to your image to be out at a party so late?” she shot back.

He just laughed. “It isn’t the same for me as it is for you. Besides, my issue was hardly the hour but the company you chose to keep. I couldn’t risk you making poor choices and spoiling your future now, could I?”

Her hands clenched into fists. “Given how much time you spend at the card table, I think I am more than capable of making better choices than you.”

“Excuse me?” he turned to her, face darkening.

“We both know why you’re doing this! You lost a fortune at the card table and need a way to pay it back! You think you can just use me to pay off your debts, well you can’t! I’m not just some bargaining chip you know!”

“Who do you think you are to speak to me this way?”

“I’m not saying anything that isn’t true.”

“You are just a child.”

“I’m twenty-three years old. Half the people my age are already married! You haven’t even presented me to society!”

He shook his head with a sigh. “Amber, regardless of how old you are, you’ve been sheltered your whole life. You don’t know anything about the real world. Stay out of my business, and whatever you think you know, forget it. Now, go to bed before you say something you will come to regret.”

Amber stiffened.

“I’m glad to see you’re still smart enough to know when to keep your mouth shut. I don’t want to see you out of your room until morning.”

Then he spun on his heels and stomped off, probably to go gamble away more of his inheritance, the money that had once belonged to Amber’s father and should rightfully have gone to her.

At this rate, it didn’t seem like it would be long before he had lost it all, leaving them penniless and on the street.

For now, he seemed to settle on leaving her alone in the hall.

Amber sighed to herself, taking a moment just to lean against the door and sigh. She wanted to go home; even if it didn’t quite feel like home anymore, it would still be better than being here, expectations hanging over her neck like an ax about to swing down any moment now.

When she’d let herself wallow in self-pity long enough, she pushed into the room she was staying in, shutting the door behind her.

It was just a small guest room with a bed, a dressing table, and a place to hang the dresses and gowns she’d brought with herself.

When she thought she was alone, she let out a sigh.

Her thoughts were interrupted, however, when a voice called out from behind her. “Do you want me to help prepare you for bed, My Lady?”

Letting out a small sound of surprise, she turned to see Rose, her maid, standing by her dressing table.

The woman chuckled at her reaction. “My apologies, Ma’am.”

Amber shook her head. “Don’t apologize. I should have known you would be in here. Simon did send me to bed after all. I suppose I probably kept you waiting for quite some time. I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t waiting very long, and even if I was, I really don’t mind.”

“Still, I should try and be more considerate of you.”

“I’m your maid; waiting is part of my job. If you stayed later than you had planned, isn’t that a good thing?”

She shrugged.

“I’m asking you, did you have fun at the party?” Rose asked as she started helping Amber out of her gown.

Amber frowned, thinking for a minute. The more she thought, the more she couldn’t help but smile. Her thoughts naturally turned back to her time talking to Felicity and most of all, Christopher. “You know what, I actually think I might have.”

Rose lit up. “Truly?”

Amber nodded.

Rose let out a sigh of relief, coming to start unlacing Amber’s gown. “That’s wonderful to hear! I know you usually hate when he drags you to these things.”

“That seems a bit harsh. I wouldn’t say that I hate them. I might not always want to come, but I do what I can to make the best of it.”

“You probably don’t realize how much you hate them because you’ve never had to hear yourself complain about them, ma’am,” she laughed.

“Oh, I can’t possibly complain that much. You’re just being dramatic!”

Rose leveled her with a look, pausing in unlacing Amber’s stays. “Do you remember when he had all of his friends over for a few days last month?”

“Of course, I do. Though I hardly see what that has to do with anything.”

“You ranted for over two hours before bed one night.”

Amber scoffed as Rose got back to work. “That can’t possibly be right. It seems exaggerated. What could I possibly have complained about for that long?”

“I must be honest, I haven’t the foggiest idea.”

“Then how can you know I complained the whole time? If you weren’t paying attention, I could have been talking about anything in any tone, and you wouldn’t know the difference,” she pouted. “Besides, you’re my maid, why weren’t you listening to me?”

Rose laughed, “Forgive me, but the third time you brought up Lord Hudson’s overpowering cologne, I couldn’t bear to hear it again. Between that and telling me about how Lord Ordon wouldn’t stop complaining about the fact that they served beef instead of pork, I hardly know what you could have expected of me.”

“Well, maybe if it wasn’t so strong, you wouldn’t have had to. You know I was almost sick from the smell when Simon had the audacity to seat me next to him during dinner! Perhaps if I had simply let myself get ill and sent to my room, I could have been spared from the experience, and you could have been spared from my rant.”

“Sadly, we do not live in that reality.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“I assure you, I remember, and it was. I don’t think I could ever truly put it from my memory. It was all you talked about for hours.” Finally done helping her change for bed, Rose stepped back. “I do hope the rest of your time here goes better than it did that night.”

“That isn’t a high bar to clear.”

“Perhaps not, but there does seem to be as sparkle in your eyes that wasn’t there before. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you actually found someone who’s company you enjoy.”

She shook her head. “You’re just imagining things, Rose.”

“Of course,” she rolled her eyes. “How silly of me.”

“I’m glad you can see it that way too. The best thing I can hope for is to make it through this weekend without too much incident.”

“I’m sure you’ll manage. You always do.”

Amber sighed. “I should probably dismiss you for the night.”

“You know I don’t mind staying a little later if you need to talk.”

“That might be true, but that doesn’t mean I should take advantage of your kindness. You should go get some rest.”

“You aren’t taking advantage of anything.”

Amber shot her a look.

“How long have I been in your service?”

“I honestly don’t remember. Since I was fourteen at least.”

“And in that time, I like to think we’ve moved past a purely professional relationship. I’d go as far as to say that I like to think we have even become friends.”

Amber couldn’t help but smile. “Would you really?”

“Do you remember what you gave me for my birthday?”

“The handkerchief I gave you?”

She nodded. “Not only did you hand make me a present, but you remembered my favorite bird and flower just so you could make sure I’d like it. I don’t think most people would do something like that for someone who wasn’t a friend on some level.”

“Well that’s—” Emotion cut off her words for a moment, sticking in her throat like cakes with too much honey. “Thank you. That means more than I can say.”

Rose moved to sit beside Amber. “I know you lost touch with a lot of your friends when the new Earl of Heathfield took over the estate, but I have done my best to offer what companionship I could.”

Amber took her hands, a watery smile on her face. “You truly have. I don’t know what I would have done without you here.”

Rose squeezed her hands. “All I hope is that when you finally marry, you and your husband let me come with you to your new home.”

“I could never leave you behind. When the time comes, I’ll make sure you come with me. I couldn’t imagine having anyone else as my lady’s maid.”

The two talked for a little longer before Amber rose to her feet with a sigh. “Thank you for staying for a little while.”

“Like I said, I don’t mind. Now, why don’t you tell me about this friend you certainly didn’t meet.”

Amber shook Christopher’s face from her mind. She wasn’t about to talk about him. While she knew by now she could trust Rose, that didn’t mean she could risk ruining her plan now. Still, she could tell her something. “There’s a new girl here tonight. I’ve never seen her around before. Her name is Lady Felicity Garvey, and she’s such a dear! Truth be told, I spent half the evening talking with her.”

Rose wrinkled her forehead. “A lady?”

“What were you expecting?”

“Perhaps it was a bit presumptuous of me, but I thought you’d met a gentleman.”

Amber’s heart pounded, moving so Rose could turn her focus to her hair. “What? Why would you think that?”

Amber saw Rose’s grin in the mirror of the dressing table. “So, there is a gentleman. You don’t need to worry; your secret is safe with me.”

“If I had a secret, which I don’t, I know it would be safe in your care. The truth is, I don’t have one.”

“Of course, of course. And this gentleman who doesn’t exist, he obviously can’t have a name, but there has to be something you can tell me about him.”

“If there was a gentleman I’d spoken to, which there isn’t, then I would say he’s easily one of, if not the most infuriating man I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.”

“Oh,” Rose sighed, disappointment in her voice. “That doesn’t sound very romantic.”

“It wasn’t. There’s nothing like that. If there was a man, he is simply a rude man I had little choice but to be in close quarters with.”

“Were you sitting next to him at dinner?”

“No,” Amber groaned. “You know who Simon had me seated next to.”

“I’m sorry. I hope he wasn’t too bad tonight.”

“It could have been worse. It ended soon enough.”

“A small mercy at least,” Rose sighed. “You’re all set for bed whenever you’re ready, but I am happy to stay and talk more about this gentleman who does not exist for as long as you like.”

Amber groaned. “I think I’ve had more than enough of that for the night.”

“Aw, are you sure? As I said, I can stay as long as you’d like.”

“Believe me, I am sure. I don’t know about you, but I am beginning to get tired. I should try and get some sleep. You should do the same.”

“Of course,” Rose got to her feet. “I hope you sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Alone, Amber fell back in bed with a sigh.

She needed to make sure her plan went off without a hitch. It wasn’t just her fate on the line.

She couldn’t imagine someone like Lord Gillion treated his staff with the respect Rose deserved.

She wouldn’t let that happen to her.

As she lay in bed, her thoughts turned back to Christopher. She couldn’t help but wonder how he?—

How his family treated their staff.

* * *

“You can’t do this to me!” Amber cried even as Simon forced her out the door and onto the streets.

Dozens of eyes turned to her, staring at her plight in open interest.

Amber’s heart pounded in her chest.

It was like the endless years of her life stretched in front of her in their endless struggles.

“Simon!” she cried again as he tossed her single bag out after her.

He glared down at her, eyes seemingly devoid of any pity or empathy. “Why not? Now that you’ve ruined your prospects, I have no use for you anymore.”

“But we’re supposed to be family. How can you do this? What would my father say if he could see you?”

“Me?” he sneered. “What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think he would be proud to see what you’ve made of yourself? To know you will die alone and penniless as an unwanted spinster?”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t like that! I didn’t mean ? —”

“It doesn’t matter what you meant. The end result is the same. You’ve made your choice. Your fate is sealed.”

She struggled to her feet, fighting to push the door open, but before she could, it all seemed to fall away.

The next thing she knew, Amber was alone in a small derelict room. It was presumably just one room of a small derelict boarding house. She was curled up on her side on a shabby mattress with a threadbare blanket.

But no matter how tightly she wrapped it around herself, she couldn’t get warm.

As she lay there, the cold sucking the very soul from her bones, Amber say flashes of the life she gave up, mixed in with flashes of the life she lived.

She saw the day she married the man she would spend her life with.

Opposed to the day their plan went off without a hitch and she sealed her fate to never marry.

There was the birth of her first child, a joyous day she’d worried would never come. Happy tears were shed by both her and her husband. She was tired, exhausted really, but she’d never known such joy.

Paired with her searching and failing to find work.

She was penniless.

No friends.

No home.

Nowhere to go.