Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

“I ’m so glad you’ve finally seen sense, darling,” Thomas said, patting Amber’s arm in his patronizing way.

She gritted her teeth, fighting the urge to squirm away from his touch. “It isn’t like you gave me much of a choice.”

He grinned. “It doesn’t matter why it happened. What matters is you did.”

“Can you please fetch me a drink,” she sighed, desperate for a moment alone.

“Of course,” he grinned. “I think I can trust you not to go anywhere.”

“Not that it would matter if I did,” she muttered to herself.

With Thomas gone, she let out a sigh, slumping back in her chair. That was where she made her mistake.

She was so consumed with her moment of self-pity that she didn’t see Felicity coming until she spoke.

“I’ve been trying to catch you alone for a moment all day,” she said.

“Is that right?”

“It is, and I don’t think I need to tell you, I’m not the only one.”

Amber’s eyes darted around the room. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Felicity, but also, she needed to check where Christopher was. She couldn’t risk him sneaking up on her.

“Don’t worry. He said he would keep his distance until I approached you,” she said with a frown.

Her shoulder sagged in relief.

“But I don’t understand why you won’t talk to him.”

She crossed her arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t seen him all day.”

“Haven’t you?”

“That’s what I said.”

“So, you haven’t noticed him stealing glances at you from across the room?”

“Why would I?”

“Maybe because you’ve been watching him.”

“I haven’t been watching him. Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know. Normally, I would say you were looking for a moment where you two could talk, but this time, it seems to be so you can avoid him.”

“I’m not avoiding him. My cousin is simply keeping me busy.”

“He has kept you busy all day?”

“He has.”

Before Felicity could say another word, Thomas returned.

“And who is this?” he said with a fake smile.

“This is Felicity.”

“Is she a friend of yours?”

“It doesn’t matter, she was just leaving.”

“Bu—”

Amber shot her a look. “Please.”

She hesitated. “If you’re sure…”

“I’m sure.”

“You know where to find me if you need anything.”

“Thank you, but I’m fine, really.”

Felicity shot her a skeptical look before she left her alone.

Amber’s shoulders slumped.

“You did well to get rid of her. She’s the Duke of Easton’s sister, isn’t she?” Thomas asked.

“Why does it matter?”

“Because I don’t want you around that family.”

She turned to him, rage burning in her eyes. “I don’t think you get to decide who I associate with.”

Thomas glared down at her. “You forget who I am to you. When we are married, and you live under my roof, then you will treat me with the respect I deserve, do I make myself clear?”

Amber met his eyes, forcing all the fire she could into her own. “You may have found a way to force me to marry you, but you will never find a way to make me respect you.”

He scoffed. “We’ll see about that. I think it’s time you went back to your room, Amber.”

“I’m not a child for you to order away.”

“I can always have Simon do it while you get used to my rules.”

Amber glared at him. “This isn’t about him.”

“You’re right. It’s about us, and things will only work if you learn your place. I thought you knew better by now. That was part of the reason I was interested in you.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“That’s all right. I’m sure you’ll learn in time.”

“I don’t see what there is for me to learn.”

He glared, taking a step closer to Amber in an attempt to intimidate her, but she just straightened her spine.

“Go to your room. We can talk about this later.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Their stare down was only interrupted when Simon came over.

“What’s going on here?” he asked.

“Amber is tired. I told her she should go take a nap, but she’s being stubborn.”

Simon turned to her, face cold. “Amber, why are you still here? Go get some rest. Take a nap or something.”

“Just like that? You’re just going to send me away until you need me again?”

“Amber, don’t be stubborn. He told you to go; I told you to go; now go.”

She took a deep breath then fled the room. She could only hope Christopher wouldn’t see her go, or at least that if he did, he would respect her plea for space.

She couldn’t handle trying to explain herself at that moment.

Amber must have gotten lucky, or maybe he had taken a hint, because she made it to her room without anyone approaching her.

Only once the door was shut behind her did Amber let her emotions out.

Tears ran down her face. She rubbed roughly at her eyes, clinging to the pressure over the sorrow inside her.

It was done.

There was no way out now.

She slumped down on her bed and wept bitterly for the future she would now have little choice but to try and live through.

Amber was still sitting there when the door swung open, and Rose stepped inside.

“I heard you weren’t feeling well,” she said.

“I’m fine,” Amber mumbled, rubbing at her eyes. “Thomas and Simon just wanted me out of the way, so I didn’t ruin his plan.”

Rose raced over to sit beside her. “Amber, you’ve been crying! What happened?”

She just shook her head.

“Please, talk to me. Maybe I can help.”

Amber shook her head again. “There’s nothing anyone can do now.” She took a deep breath. “I am going to marry Lord Gillion.”

“What? But I thought?—”

“There’s nothing to be done. It’s too late now.”

“But what about your friend?”

“It’s best to leave him out of this. He has brought enough trouble on himself for me already.”

“What did he say when you told him that?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Rose studied her for a moment. “You haven’t told him, have you?”

“I’ve said what I need to say.”

“Yes, but that isn’t the same thing.”

“What are you trying to get at?”

“Have they announced the betrothal yet?”

“I don’t see what difference it makes, but no. I think the plan is to do it tonight at dinner.”

“So, it isn’t too late!” she insisted. “You could still try and do something!”

“Rose,” Amber cut her off, voice sharp. “Don’t pretend there’s a reason to have false hope. Just let it go. It’s best just to accept it.”

“But you don’t want this!”

“No, I don’t, but I need to try to accept it.”

“But—”

“Please,” Amber cut her off. “Don’t make this harder on me than it needs to be.”

Rose sighed. “All right, I’ll try. Then what can I do for you?”

“I don’t know. Right now, I think I just want to mourn.”

She nodded. “Do you want me to stay, or do you want some space?”

“I think I just want to be alone right now.”

“Are you sure?”

Truthfully, she wasn’t. All she wanted was to go see Christopher and beg him to help find a way out of this, but she couldn’t do that.

She cared about him far too much to put him any more at risk.

So she forced herself to nod. “I’m sure. I think I’m just going to try and take a nap.”

“All right,” Rose hesitated a moment more, “if you’re sure.”

“I already said I am.”

“Don’t hesitate to call me if you change your mind.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

Rose shot her one last look then made her way from the room. Alone, Amber collapsed to lay on the bed with a groan.

For a long time, she just laid there, wallowing in self-pity, but she was interrupted far too soon.

Amber sighed, pushing to her feet. It was probably Simon coming to summon her for dinner.

“What?” she snapped, only to come face to face with Christopher. When she saw him, she sobered. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“We can’t. What if someone sees us?”

“Then we should go find somewhere to talk. Take a walk with me.”

“I can’t. I?—”

But he had already grabbed her hand and started dragging her down the hallway.

They came to a stop a little way down the hallway.

“What happened, Amber?” he asked. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

She looked away. “I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Really?” he scowled. “So, you’ve just been walking away anytime I get close for fun?”

She looked away.

“Just tell me why you agreed to marry him?”

She just shook her head.

“Please, I need to know.”

Amber sighed. “If I tell you, what then? It won’t change anything.”

“After all we went through to try and prevent this, I think I’m owed some kind of explanation.”

She sighed. “Fine, you want to know the truth? The truth is, Simon wouldn’t let me fade away in disgrace.”

“What do you mean? When did he talk to you?”

She sighed. “Does it matter? It doesn’t change what he said.”

“I just need to know, was it before or after our last talk?”

“After.”

“I see, and what did he say?”

“He said he wouldn’t allow me to disgrace our family name by becoming a spinster. He said that I had to marry the Viscount—” she cut herself off, letting out a shaky breath.

“Or what?”

Tears burned her eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Amber, please.”

“You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t be standing here if I didn’t.”

Her eyes burned as she forced herself to speak, but she would not cry. She couldn’t let herself. It wouldn’t be fair to make him feel guilty for any of this. She took a deep breath and forced out the words. “He said I either had to marry Thomas, or I had to marry you.”

Christopher froze. “And you chose Lord Gillion?”

“It was hardly a choice now, was it?!” she glared. How could he do this to her? Why would he ask something that seemed to serve no purpose but to humiliate her?

“Because marrying me sounds so awful?”

“Because I am well aware you do not wish to get married to anyone, let alone me.”

“Amber!” He had the audacity to look hurt. “Did last night truly mean that little to you?”

“Of course not, but that doesn’t matter now, does it?”

“Ask me again.”

“What?”

“Last night, I told you I had a plan to set you free, but I wouldn’t tell you. I’m telling you to ask me again.”

She shook her head. “But it doesn’t matter what your plan was; it’s too late.”

“I’m asking you one last time to trust me.”

She sighed, crossing her arms. “Very well. If you could magically turn back time to try and stop this before it became too late, what would your plan have been?”

“This morning, I was going to march down to your cousin’s room and ask for your hand.”

Amber froze. For a moment she couldn’t speak then her eyes hardened in a glare. “Truly, Christopher, I never expected you to be so cruel.”

“Excuse me?”

“Was there ever a plan, or were you intending to mock me all along?”

“I’m not mocking you, Amber. I mean every word of it. I wish to marry you.”

“No, you don’t! You have said yourself that you do not wish to marry. How can you stand here and lie to me like this?”

“It isn’t a lie.” He took a step towards her. “Before I met you, I had no desire to ever marry. If I am honest, the idea makes me a bit apprehensive even now.”

“Then why?”

“Because I love you!”

“What?” Amber gasped.

“I can understand if you don’t feel the same way. Even if you don’t, I would still stand by my offer if you would rather take it than bind yourself to that man.”

“Do you mean it?” she asked in disbelief. “Truly?”

“I do. Contrary to your earlier statement, I am not a cruel man. I would never lie about something of this nature. As I said, I understand if you don’t feel?—”

“I love you too,” she cut him off, a wide grin splitting apart her face.

“I don’t have words for how happy it makes me to hear that. May I kiss you?”

She nodded.

Before another word could escape her lips, strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her to press against his chest. She was close enough to see the small gold and blue flecks in his deep hazel eyes.

Her breath caught in her throat. Then he was leaning in.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion until finally, his lips met hers. There was no explosion of passion or fire coursing through her veins, but there was still endless fluttering in her heart.

The kiss was sweet, tentative, almost nervous. As if Christoper was conveying everything he was worried could go wrong. As though Amber was letting out all of the anxiety and misgivings she’d had constantly pounding away at her every moment that led up to this.

The air around them went still until all Amber could focus on were the places where they connected. Everything else seemed to fall away, unimportant compared to what they held between them.

Suddenly the illusion was shattered by a sharp intake of breath.

Amber jerked back to see Mary, Jonathan, and Thomas staring at the pair of them in shock. Simon was there too, but he didn’t look shocked.

The look on his face could only be understood as pure unadulterated rage.

“And what exactly is going on here?” he demanded.

Amber’s heart pounded. Why had she let herself start to hope? “I- I can explain,” she stammered.

“Then by all means.”

Before she could say another word, Christopher stepped forward. “I am pleased to announce that the pair of us are engaged, but do please keep the good news to yourself. We would like to announce it together later tonight.”

“How dare you,” Simon muttered.

But it was hard to hear over Mary’s shocked gasp. “Well, isn’t this a surprise!”

“Indeed,” Thomas stepped forward with a false smile. “Especially since I thought we had an understanding.”

“Quite right,” Simon quickly regained his composure. “This is most improper, Amber. He hasn’t even asked me for your hand. You can see why I can’t give my blessing to such a man. I’m sure you understand, but don’t worry. I’m sure we can find someone more suitable.”

“I hardly see who could be more suitable than a duke,” Christopher chimed in. “As for not asking you, I was under the impression you were her cousin and not her father.”

“Perhaps, but I am her closest male relative. It would only be proper to ask.”

Christopher took a step closer to him, “And from where I am standing, it would only be proper to say yes if I had.”

“But you didn’t, so it’s a moot point.”

“I think it’s wonderful, don’t you, dear,” Mary interjected, and Amber let out a sigh of relief.

“Of course,” Jonathan agreed. “I think the pair of them make a fine match.”

Simon’s gaze only harder with every word. “Amber, I can’t allow this.”

“It doesn’t seem you are in a position to refuse.”

“Excuse me?!” he snarled. “I hardly think I’m the one in a delicate position here.”

“And why is that?”

“Because if the two of you insist on trying to move forward in this match, then you will leave me little choice but to go to the gossip pages and tell them all about your sordid affair.”

“Should that frighten me? If we marry–”

“Even if you marry yes, it should because by the time you get word out about your betrothal, I can ensure everyone has already heard my version of events.”

“And? If we marry shortly after, then it won’t matter. We can undo any damage you might have been able to do, not that any of it matters anyway.”

I think we both know that while Amber wouldn’t care about the damage, and you could easily weather it, your sister—what was her name again, Fanny? It doesn’t matter. She would hardly be so lucky.”

“You leave her out of this.”

“No, I don’t think I will. In fact, I think I’ll make a point to tell them how she helped the pair of you sneak around together.”

Amber’s eyes burned. While she could risk her own reputation and while she trusted Christopher to make his own choices, Felicity hadn’t asked to be involved in any of this.

More than that, it was doubtful she even knew what exactly was going on. Amber couldn’t let her pay the price for her choices.

“Once word gets out about that, what do you think her prospects will be? Do you think your status can protect her the way it does you? Because I think we both know better than to trust that.”

“Just let me go,” she whispered to Christopher. “I’m not worth it.”

“Oh yes, you are,” he said before moving until he was only inches away from Simon. “Listen and listen closely because I will not repeat myself. Amber is going to be my wife. You will leave me and my family, which your cousin is now a part of, alone.”

“Or what?”

“Or I will use every tool at my disposal to ensure you end up alone, ostracized, and penniless.”

Simon paled, but Christoper didn’t stop. He was just getting started.

“No one will welcome you into their home. You will be unable to get a loan, and you will be left with no way to support yourself.”

“You- you can’t control the whole town! I have friends of my own you know!”

“Of course, you do, but how many of them will stick with you when things get hard? And more importantly, how many will be willing to pay the price beside you? Because while I don’t doubt you could force some poor soul, I’d be willing to wager there won’t be very many.”

Simon’s eyes darted back to Amber. “Is this the kind of man you wish to bind yourself to?” he demanded. “Someone who would threaten your own flesh and blood?”

Emboldened by his words, she stepped forward. “Now, you want to act as though we are flesh and blood? Now, you want to pretend to be a family?” Her hands shook, whether from fright or rage she couldn’t be sure. “You and I are not family.”

“How can you say that after everything I have done for you!?”

“Family doesn’t force each other to hide! Family doesn’t use the love a child has for their mother against them! Family supports each other! And listens to each other! And we care about each other! But most of all, families don’t try to sell each other as a bargaining chip!” She was all but yelling by the end. Every word seemed to lift hundreds of pounds from her shoulders.

She only stopped when she felt Christopher’s gentle hand come to rest on her shoulder.

Simon stared at her in shock. Every ounce of color had drained from his face. He seemed unable to speak, mouth opening and closing in silent dread.

“I see,” he finally managed to croak out. “That’s how you feel.”

“It is,” she affirmed with no remorse.

“Very well, from this day forward, the pair of us are no longer family. We will go our separate ways, keep our own lives. Does that satisfy you?”

Christopher looked to Amber for approval, but her mind was still reeling far too much to reply.

“As long as you keep to your end of the bargain, I should think that will suffice.”

“How merciful of you,” he spat.

“I think it is. Now, get out of here, and never let your shadow cross our paths again.”

Without another word, Simon turned and stormed down the hallway.

That was the last time Amber ever saw him, and she couldn’t say she regretted it. If anything, her heart felt lighter and body more her own than it had in years after the confrontation.

She turned to Christopher with a wide smile. “I can’t believe it. We did it.”

“Yes, you did.” Mary came forward, offering her an embrace. “And congratulations. I hope the two of you have nothing but happiness in your future.”

“Thank you,” Amber squeezed her friend back. As she pulled away, she looked to Christopher. “Can you give us a moment?”

Christopher smiled without a second thought. “Of course,” he began leading the others down the hall, Amber and Mary following at a short distance.

“I’m sorry,” Amber said after a few moments.

“Whatever for?”

“Quite a few things actually. Derailing your party with my engagement, causing problems between you and Simon, possibly even between you and your husband.”

She laughed. “Jonathan and I won’t fight over something like this. Why don’t you tell me what you really want to say.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to escape.”

“Escape from what?”

“I know your family married you off the way Simon wanted to, and I know you went through with the match. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“I’m not.”

Amber looked at her in shock. “What?”

“I understand this wasn’t the way you wanted to get married. It was hardly what I wanted either, but unlike you, I never expected to marry for love. I count myself lucky that my husband is a good man. He treats me well, and over the years, we have grown to care about each other. Maybe our story isn’t the things of fairy tales, but it’s the life I’ve lived, and I’m happy with it. Marrying Jonathan is the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“And sometimes, that’s all right. The reality is we can’t understand everything.”

“Then, I suppose, as long as you’re happy?—”

“I am.”

“And he treats you right?—”

“He does.”

“—then I can be happy for you, even if I don’t understand.”

“Thank you, Amber. I hope you and His Grace have a long and happy life together.