Paige

PAIGE

I pull Paxton's new snowsuit out to his jumping squeals of outside, outside, outside. Apparently, I've kept him inside for far too long in this cold weather, although I know he builds snowmen with my dad at least once a week when the weather allows for it.

Jackie smiles knowingly as he takes it from me. "You need to get snow proofed too."

I smile back at him. "I don't have anything that's snow proof."

"And are they planning to send you home in their sweats again?"

My cheeks burn and my spine straightens. "There will be none of that."

"Not in front of anyone important, at least." Jackie knocks his shoulder into me. "Go get ready for your date and let me get the wiggle monster ready."

I don't like handing off so much responsibility, but I nod and slip into my warm jeans, and layer on the shirts and socks.

I'm grabbing hats and gloves when I get the text from Jake. They didn't want to overload him all at once, so we only introduced him to Jake and Eli last week. Each on their own. And now, Jake's coming up to escort us down.

Jackie is primed when he hears my chime. "Is he on his way up?"

Jake is exactly the kind of personality Jackie loves to poke at. Flirt with. I find it hilarious, and Jake takes it mostly in stride. He has more of a sense of humor than he wants to let on.

"He is." I grab Paxton's boots.

"Who?" He hops when he asks, flapping his arms like an owl.

"Jake. You remember Jake, right? Tall and grumpy." Jackie nabs Paxton around the waist and sets him on the couch.

"Not grumpy. Shy." I bend to get Paxton's wiggling feet in his boots.

"Achy," he says, Jake's nickname. The goof gives them to everyone. "Fixed my car."

"He did. Didn't he? That was nice of him, huh?"

Paxton gives me a big nod and hops down with his boots on.

Jake knocks, and I feel the giddy smile before it blooms on my face. Jackie is at the door with Paxton before I can turn around.

"Well don't you look rugged today in those jeans and boots. No flannel like the big guy though?" Jackie exaggerates how much he checks him out, and Jake's smile is small but it's there, especially in his eyes when they glint at me.

He likes Jackie, even if my best friend makes him clam up tight, like right now. Jake shifts his weight in the doorway, and I come to his rescue.

"Come in. I just have to shove my boots on and grab my bags."

"Bags?" Jake raises a brow at me.

My hands go to my hips as I pin him with a look. "Yes. Bags. I have a three-year-old. And we're bringing him out into the snow."

Jackie cackles, throwing his head back. "They have no clue, honeybuns. Absolutely no clue."

I grin and hold onto Jake's arm as I shove my feet into my giant snow boots. Jackie grabs the bags off the couch and Paxton is basically hanging off the hem of Jake's coat. He looks down at my boy, a hand fanning through his hair automatically.

He silently offers to pick up Paxton, and he answers by reaching his arms overhead. Once he has Paxton in his arms, little hands grab at Jake's zipper. Up and down. Up and down. Then twirling it between his fingers.

"Zip. Zip. Zip."

"Makes a cool noise, huh?" Jake asks, and Paxton nods.

God, my heart melts.

Jackie shares a look with me that is full of approval as he hands me my bags. Jake peers at me with this soft expression that reinforces all of the little things he's been doing to court me. Such a strange term, but I'm starting to get what it means.

"Ready to go?" I ask him, but mostly my son.

"Yup." Paxton bounces in Jake's arm.

Jake reaches out to place a hand at the back of my neck. He's keen on touch, needing it more than words most of the time. His thumb rubs behind my ear, and the intimacy of it presses on those emotions I've been wrangling into submission.

Jackie closes the door behind us. We head to the car and Paxton makes an easy transition. Henry sits in the rear-facing seat, and Jake joins him, pulling Paxton into a booster seat between them. He's got his fingers all over the tinted glass separating us from Liam.

Handing the bags in to Eli, his bemused face has the same astonishment on it that Jake's did. Once I'm inside, I pull out a small container of toys for Paxton, open it and offer them to him. Bouncing down, my son's small hands close on four dinosaurs before he wiggles back between Jake and Henry.

He'll rope them both into playing his games. Henry's good at it, but he would be as the eldest of six siblings.

Eli takes my hand after I settle back. He brushes his thumb over my knuckles. Also in need of physical affection, he leans into making me laugh, like that's his comfort zone.

The last few weeks each of them have been picking me up, bringing me home and spending lunch with me in rotation. But we all meet in Eli's office once everyone's on their way out. I don't feel so bad about staying late because having a car saves me an hour of transit time.

Getting to know the three of them has been exciting. They're so different but so much the same, and as much as I hate to admit it, they're familiar, reminding me of my father. And the stories they've told me about him when he was younger have given me so much ammunition against him.

Eli lifts my knuckles to his mouth for a kiss. He didn't get much of this slow kind of affection growing up, or at least, that's what I've gathered.

It's like Jake's control and his deep shyness makes him abrasive to most, but he grew up in an unstable home. Being quiet helped him disappear.

But digging into their past wasn't the only thing I did. Heat tears through me from the littlest thought.

Like how Jake enjoys having me on my knees under his desk, the power dynamic fulfills us both because he thinks he's in control, but really, I am when I'm kneeling between his thighs.

Henry seems to be taken with having me in his lap. When he's behind his desk, he likes having me gathered against him and access to my skin. He's even convinced me to start wearing skirts on occasion. They're not my favorite, but they do offer easy access to roaming hands…and mouths.

But then, there is Eli, who acts like every little piece I give him is the holy grail of intimacy. Like I'm the best thing to ever happen to him. He makes me feel so seen. Worshipped. No question that he wants me, physically, but that's never his whole focus.

Between the three of them, I'm nearly overwhelmed. Mostly though, my life feels full, and not the kind of full I felt being a single mother working on my degree, but… happy .

Driving out of town, Paxton has no lack of entertainment amongst the four of us, and his happy giggles draws smiles out of my men so easily.

My men. God, that gives me the shivers.

Eli squeezes my hand and offers me a pleased smile. So easy with them, but when they're aimed at me, they feel like precious diamonds. I want to hoard them.

We stop on the side of a good sledding hill, half-full with kids and families. It makes me pause. What if someone recognizes us? What will this look like?

Eli is out the door, and cold air filters in. Paxton squeals, crawling out after him. Sighing, I grab the smaller bag and hike it over my shoulder as Eli opens my door with my son tugging on his arm.

"Come on ." Tug. "Come on ."

I shake my head and laugh. "I hope you three are prepared because this is baseline excitement for him."

I step out, big boots making me wobbly. Eli steadies me with an arm around my back. It brings me so close to him and his warmth, my face presses against the flannel Jackie wanted to see. He looks like a buff lumberjack and that does crazy things to my pulse.

Biting back my smile, I blink up at him, his warm eyes going molten.

"Come on ."

"We have to get the sleds out of the back first, Bud."

He makes an exaggerated aggravated noise before he changes direction, toward the trunk where Liam and Jake pull three different kinds of sleds out.

"What is all this? Couldn't agree on one?"

Henry laughs and shakes his head. Jake shrugs. And Eli says, "Not a chance."

They lug the sleds—an innertube, a plastic disk, and an old-fashioned wooden one—up the side of the hill. I follow behind them all, getting the best view of their asses in their jeans. These three are too gorgeous for my sanity.

Paxton sprints ahead, a spider monkey by nature, and he's hopping on the top where other kids are taking off.

"Wait for one of us," I warn. And he does. He's a good boy. Most of the time. "Who do you want to ride with first?"

Paxton points to Henry, who grins. His attachment to Henry is stronger. Natural. He's drawn to his father by instinct. And Henry doesn't seem to mind.

I enjoy how he beams with pride as he sets down his plastic disc and gathers Paxton into his lap. They push off with a scream and I love the big smile on Paxton's face when Henry herds him back to the top.

They easily trade off taking Paxton down the hill on their various sleds. I get to watch it all, I laugh and cheer the whole time.

I take him down twice, but we don't have the same speed the men create with their weight. I don't mind. Less snow in my underwear.

It's late afternoon by the time Paxton starts to lag, so when Eli mentions hot chocolate, that's all my son can talk about. The marshmallows. The marshmallows .

They bring us to a high-end cafe I'd never step into on my own because, frankly, I don't make enough money to splurge on a fifteen-dollar hot chocolate. But they do, and you know what? Worth every damn one of their pennies.

When I moan after my first sip, all three men zero in on me, but Paxton breaks the tension.

"I like what Mommy makes me. It's really good. Lots of marshmallows."

I laugh, giddy with the two wide, warm hands on either one of my thighs. It's slow, quiet and peaceful as Paxton entertains us. Falling asleep or not, he's telling us stories and asking for goofy things all the way back home.

This time in the car, I sit next to him and he curls against my shoulder. The excitement is over, so it's time for comfort and sleep and that means Mommy. It's the best feeling in the world to be needed this fundamentally.

The men naturally fall silent as I stroke his back and kiss his hair. Climbing to my apartment, I won't let them take him from me, but they do carry the bags. Eli opens the door and smiles wide at the way Jackie is waving us inside.

He's got stew, which is one of the better dishes he can make. And its warmth is welcoming.

Eli points to our tiny tree with the light-up prongs. It sits on a side table, and we'll stuff presents under it for Christmas Eve. I don't splurge on the big tree since Dad still decorates his and we wake up there on Christmas morning each year.

It keeps him from destroying it once it's up too. He won't mean to, but he's just a wild little boy.

"This is not okay. It won't do at all." Eli plants his hands on his hips and Jackie swoons at him.

"Biceps as big as my head all wrapped up in flannel. You make all of my Paul Bunyan fantasies come true." Jackie clasps his hands over his chest and bats his lashes at Eli. He pulls it off way better than I do.

Not that I've ever really tried.

Eli braces his hand on Jackie's shoulder, still stern in his displeasure, although a smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. "It's not Christmassy enough in here, and I won't have it."

I purse my mouth but don't argue. Whatever he's planning, there's nothing I can do to stop him.

I've learned what a lost battle looks like from being a mom. I generally choose a third of them, and lose half of those.

Henry read a bedtime story to Paxton and now he is all tucked into bed. Jackie stays in the apartment while I escort all of them down to the car. Poor Liam being at their beck and call on a Saturday like this. Still, he smiles at me and steps back into the car.

I get a soft kiss from Henry, Eli, then Jake. I know I'm going to be missing them tonight.

As they leave, I can't help but ask myself what it might look like if I had the room for Paxton to have his own bed. Can I trade that for something different? More?

Cherishing the fact that my son still wants to sleep in my arms—at least to start with—I fall asleep happy. And wake up to a delivery I didn't order.

A giant, real Christmas tree with someone to decorate it. Garland and lights up around the walls. Stockings with their own shelf attached beside the couch, then filled with wrapped treats. A bag full of holiday foods. Enough to graze on all day.

Finally, a red poinsettia with a card settles on my tiny kitchen table. I open the card, fancy and pressed with gold.

Because I love making you smile.

Shaking my head and truly smiling, I snap a selfie of my happy grin and send it to Eli.

Beautiful , Eli texts back, and I'm a goner.