Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

S itting between her brother and her husband during the noon meal was something of an ordeal for Alayne. On the one hand, she was relieved that the two most important men in her life had apparently set aside their differences and come to some sort of accord. On the other hand, their newfound civility made it all the more evident how strained things still were between herself and Darren.

He’d come back to their quarters briefly to change out of his mudstained clothing into fresh garments. However, he’d not said more than three words to her, nor had he offered her his arm as they both left to attend the meal.

She wanted to talk to him, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak about the situation in front of their friends and kinfolk, even if most of them clearly knew what had transpired. The turmoil robbed her of any appetite, but she forced herself to eat, not wanting to upset Donall.

Finally, Darren finished his meal and rose from his chair. Alayne hesitated, caught between wanting to try and mend matters with her husband and wanting to spend time with her brother. She was so caught in her indecision that she actually jumped when Donall put his hand on her arm.

Her brother was smiling gently. “Go ahead and speak with him, and mend matters as best ye might. I’ll be stayin’ here fer a few days. We’ve time tae talk later, when ye’re nae so troubled.”

Alayne squeezed his fingers with a smile relief. “Ye ken me so well.” She bent and kissed his brother on the cheek. “Thank ye, Donall.”

She hurried after Darren. She half-expected him to return to their rooms, but he made his way to the study instead. She waited a moment, to be sure she wasn’t interrupting a meeting, then knocked. After a moment, she heard him respond. “Enter.”

She stepped inside, then shut the door behind her. Darren’s eyes darkened, a mask falling over his expression. “Yer braither is nae in any trouble, nor suspected o’ aught by me, if that’s what yer concerned about.”

“’Tis nae. I kent as much from Donall afore I came up here.” She latched the door, then stepped forward toward him. “I wanted tae talk tae ye.”

“About?”

“Ye ken what about.” She swallowed. “I ken yer angered, and I ken ye have a right tae be, but please… will ye nae let me explain? Can I nae even have that much o’ yer attention and time?”

“I suppose, as I’ve heard out yer braither, I can give that.” He dipped his head.

It wasn’t the response she’d hoped for, but at least he was listening. She swallowed again, then spoke. “When I came tae yer keep tae wed ye, I was angry. I didnae want tae, especially nae when ye’d refused me afore, but it was either shackling meself in a wedding, or leaving me braither tae rot in chains, and he’s the only kinfolk that’s ever cared fer me. I couldnae abandon him in that dungeon.” Her voice cracked. “Surely ye can understand that.”

“Aye. I can. But ye didnae tell me that.”

“Nae. I didnae. ‘Twas me form o’ vengeance against ye. I thought me braither would come tae claim me back with warriors behind him. At the time, I didnae ken why ye’d humiliated me by yer first refusal, and all I truly kent o’ ye beyond that was that ye’d seen me faither killed and taken me braither from me.”

“Aye. We’ve spoken o’ this afore.”

“I ken. But that’s what I was thinkin’ when I wed ye.”

“And when ye kent me better? After I told ye about me past?” His voice was heavy.

“I wanted tae tell ye. But there was always something… the first time I wanted tae tell ye, we were shot at. Then ye were busy dealing with the attack. I planned tae tell ye the evening after we… were taegether the first time. I even went tae Evina fer advice o’ how tae tell ye, and went tae the cook tae get yer favorite sweets made, so I could give them tae ye as an apology. I waited here all night. But ye never came.”

“I was on me way tae the study when I was attacked.”

“So I learned from Ryan in the morning.” She took a deep breath. “I thought tae tell ye after ye woke, but ye looked so tired, and then I got… distracted…” She couldn’t help the blush that rose to her face. “And then, we fell asleep. And when I woke…”

“Ryan had already come tae me, tae tell me Donall was at the gates.”

She nodded miserably. “Aye.”

Silence fell between them. Then Darren spoke. “I did wonder why there was a cake sitting on me desk.” His gaze slid across the room, and she turned to see the covered dish on the table near the fire.

“And ye didnae think the cook made it fer ye, fer nay particular reason?”

“Nae. She’d have sent it tae me in the meeting, never mind me bein’ the laird, or what else might be happening. Or she’d have sent it wherever she kent I was, or kept it safe in the kitchen.” There was a hint of amusement in Darren’s tone - the first sign of softening she’d seen in him all day.

“I’m sorry I didnae tell ye sooner. I just… I didnae ken how , and everything between us changed so fast…”

“Aye. So it did.” Darren heaved out a breath. “And I suppose ye’re nae the first person tae keep secrets tae the detriment o’ a relationship.”

She winced. “I didnae mean tae remind ye o’ that. And I’d never…”

“I ken. Or at the least, I’d like tae believe I ken that much. Besides, ‘twas nae what I was referring tae.” Darren stepped closer. “Dae ye recall how we first began tae understand each other?”

As if she could forget. She could recall very well the shouting match that had occurred between them and ended with her strung upside down in a hunter’s snare. Just thinking of it made her cheeks heat. “Aye.”

“Ye were angered that I lied tae ye and yer kin, when yer faither offered me yer hand. And I’ve come tae see I did ye wrong in that. So it seems we’ve both made one sore mistake that wounded the other. That I made mine afore we wed, and ye made yers after doesnae make one offense worse than the other.”

Alayne felt as if her throat had rocks in it, while her stomach seemed tied in knots. “What are ye saying?”

“Yer braither bein’ here reminded me that I’m nae blameless. I wasnae without fault in the way the feud came about, and I’m nae without fault in this either. But ye’ve forgiven me, and even entrusted me with yer innocence, yer life, and I think - I hope - yer heart.”

The answer was clear and simple. “Aye. All of that.” She stepped closer to him. “’Tis true. I dinnae ken how or when, but these past days… I’ve come tae love ye, Darren MacLean.”

“Have ye?” To her surprise, there was a look of wonder in his gaze, dawning and slowly wiping away the coldness that lingered. “Have ye true? Fer if we’re bein’ honest…” He reached up and framed her face with his hands. “If there’s aught I’ve learned, ‘tis only those ye love that can wound ye. And when I saw yer braither and felt that ye’d betrayed me, it hurt worse than any wound I’ve ever taken at any man’s hand.”

“Ye…” It was hard to breathe. “Ye…”

“I love ye, Alayne MacLean from Ranald Clan. I love ye true and deep, though I ken nae when or how it happened, and the idea that ye’d summoned yer braither, that ye might want tae leave me was worse than a dagger tae the throat.”

His hands dropped to lift her hand with the wedding band on it. “I didnae think anything could hurt more than the thought that ye wanted tae give this back and sever the wedding ties between us. Then I saw ye come here, and realized that there was one thing that could be worse - that me own temper might have driven ye away.”

“Nay. Nae ever, so long as ye promise tae hear me out, if something like this happens again.” She freed her hands and lifted them to twine around his neck. “I cannae promise I’ll never keep any secret, but I promise I’ll nae ever dae it without a good reason.”

“I cannae promise I’ll never lose me temper, but I promise I’ll never strike ye, and I’ll listen afore I act too much a fool again.”

She knew it wouldn’t be that easy, not always. They both had their own scars, deep inside, and their own private grief to deal with. There would probably be mistakes and misunderstandings in the future. But that was in the future. “I can live with that.”

The ice was gone from his eyes, and she found the cold was melting away from her insides as well. She found herself smiling.

“What are ye thinkin’ me wife?”

“That I love ye. And that I missed waking up beside me husband this morn.” She caressed his cheek, and saw the heat of desire flare to life in his eyes.

“Did ye now? Then it seems that’s something I need tae remedy.” Darren shifted, then swept her into his arms. “Ye ken, ‘tis tradition fer a man tae carry his bride tae their rooms, or across another threshold, tae begin their married lives? I couldnae dae it afore, but…”

He bent his head closer, to whisper in her ear. “Now, I’d very much like tae carry ye tae bed, and show ye something I learned from Laird MacMillan and his wife.”

The heat of desire that ignited within her surprised her. “Daes it involve… ropes?”

“I was thinkin’ something a wee bit different, but if that’s yer pleasure… I think I can manage that.” His smile was a wolf’s smile, full of want and need and mischief, and she found herself answering in kind.

“I’d like that very much, me lai–me love. Very much indeed.”