Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

D arren woke to the feel of Alayne in his arms, the first good rest he’d had in weeks, and a sense of satisfaction he’d never felt before.

He’d bedded many a lass in his day, but there was something different about last night’s lovemaking, and he couldn’t deny it. Like her eyes on him in the bath, everything about it seemed more intense, more pleasurable than anything he’d experienced before.

He didn’t know if it was because Alayne was his wife - his alone to bring pleasure to - or her previously untaught state and the open honest reactions she offered to his touch, and he couldn’t find it in him to care. What they had was too beautiful, and too enjoyable, to tarnish with worry over how or why it would be so.

Perhaps there was some truth to the idea that God blessed a marriage bed. Or maybe it was some favor from the Fair Folk, though how he’d have earned either he had no idea. Again, it was nothing he cared to ponder, lying in his bed with his wife asleep beside him.

His wife in every sense of the word, now. He marveled at the fact - something he’d thought would be impossible, only a few days ago.

Alayne stirred in his arms, and he shifted so he could give her space. He had no regrets about their activities the night before, but he was prepared to leave her alone if she wasn’t of the same mind. Alayne blinked open her eyes, and smiled sleepily at him. Then she frowned. “I feel…”

“I ken. Lie there, and I’ll go warm some water tae help ye clean up.”

“Afore that…” Alyne flushed. “There’s a potion in my dresser, in the corner o’ the top drawer. Evina gave it tae me. She said it would help for the morning after.”

She’d been talking to Evina about consummating the marriage? Was it something that had come about as part of the wedding preparations, or something she’d chosen to do, before she invited him to share her bed by choice? Either way, the idea that she’d actually prepared for this, that she might have wanted it, made his heart feel light.

He went to find the promised potion, then swept his discarded kilt around himself and went to heat some water over the fire. Once it was warm, he soaked a rag in it and brought it back. He felt sticky and more than a little uncomfortable himself, but he could wait until Alayne was cared for.

She accepted the rag with a smile and a blush, before ducking beneath the coverlet. Darren smiled at her maiden-like shyness, and went to get another rag for himself.

By the time he came back, she was dressed. He dressed himself, the two of them doing a slow, awkward dance around each other as they prepared for the day. Darren finished dressing, then turned and offered her his hand. “Will ye join me in the Hall fer breakfast?”

“I’d rather eat here.” Her blush betrayed her shyness once again. Darren smiled, and bent to kiss the knuckles of her hand.

“As ye like.”

He sent for a tray, and they enjoyed a quiet breakfast. Afterward, Darren rose. “I’ve work tae dae, and a meeting with Bard, Adrian and Ryan tae attend tae, regarding the attack. But afore I go… will ye come somewhere with me?”

“I… I will.”

He led her from their rooms, down toward the laird’s study, then across the castle from it, into a wing that was hardly used. Alayne looked on curiously as he opened a door to reveal a winding staircase going upward. “Where are we?”

“Western Tower.” He offered her his hand, and she took it with her newfound show of trust. Darren gave her an encouraging smile in return, and began to lead her upward.

Alayne was visibly tense as they neared the top of the tower, her eyes darting here and there. She actually flinched when he opened the door to the uppermost balcony, which sometimes served as a watch-post, though it hadn’t in some time. “What?”

“Relax. Ye’re in nay danger here. The tower isnae frequently used, but ‘tis sturdy.” He urged her forward, and stepped behind her to wrap an arm around her waist. “Most o’ me clan dinnae bother coming up here - there’s naught but the view. I thought it would be a good place tae help ye face yer fears again, since there’s nae audience save me. And also, fer one other reason.”

“What reason?”

“The lookout, where we are… if ye stare across the hills on a clear day, ye’re looking in the direction o’ Ranald lands. I dinnae ken if ye can actually see where our territory ends and yers begins, but still, I thought it might comfort ye tae look toward home.”

The way her smile lit her face was all the reward he needed, even before she turned back to the edge of the watch post and took a determined step toward it. She was still more than her own length from the edge, but that didn’t change the meaning of the gesture.

“Ye can let me go.” Her words were soft, but clear.

“I didnae want ye tae be afraid.”

“I’m nae.” She turned back to him, still smiling like the sunrise on the other side of the keep. “Why should I be? Me husband is here tae protect me.”

“Aye. That I am.” He reached out and drew her close. “Fer as long as ye want me.”

Alayne paced toward Evina’s cottage, her mind whirling. A part of her was still dazed from Darren’s lovemaking last night. Another part of her was singing softly in wonder, at the knowledge that she trusted her husband, and more than that, was unafraid to show it.

The rest of her thoughts were filled with worry.

She’d never managed, between different events, accidents, and encounters, to tell Darren about the full details of her bargain with the king. As far as she knew, he was still unaware that Donall’s release from the king’s dungeon was a part of the agreement.

At first, she’d enjoyed keeping the secret, knowing that he was unaware he would soon have his vengeful brother-by-marriage virtually on his doorstep again. Then, as she’d warmed to him, and come to realize what sort of man Darren truly was, she’d also come to see that she was being unkind to him.

And now, someone had attacked them. She didn’t think Donall would put her in that sort of danger, but who knew what the depredations of the king’s dungeons might have done to his mind, or his heart? He might have fired an arrow at Darren, unthinking of the danger to her, or thinking that he’d not hit her, and she was safe from all other injury.

She didn’t want to believe it, and didn’t truly think it was anything of the sort, but she had to consider the possibility. At this point, she was almost certain that Donall would have returned to Ranald Keep. If he hadn’t, he must have at least crossed the firth by now.

She had to tell Darren, but she couldn’t. After going so long without telling him, he would surely be angry with her. At the same time, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was betraying Donall by revealing the truth.

She needed advice, and thus far, Evina hadn’t steered her poorly.

Evina answered the door at her first, hesitant knock. “Me lady?” A small, knowing smile touched the healer’s expression. “Ye look well.”

Alayne couldn’t help the blush that spread across her face. “Aye. I’ve been making some use o’ the things ye taught me in our last meetings.”

“’Tis a good thing, so long as me laird is a good husband tae ye. Nae all men are, but I’ve never heard any complaints o’ Laird MacLean.”

“Ye’ll nae be hearing any from me either.” Alayne looked away from the healer. “’Tis another matter I’ve come on, and I could use yer advice once again.”

“Fer yer health, or me laird’s?”

Alayne shook her head. “’Tis nae a health concern as yet, just a worry o’ mine. But it could lead tae something dangerous in the future I fear. I was hoping ye could give me some ideas o’ how tae ward away the worst possible consequences.”

“Sounds serious.” Evina gestured her to a chair and put a kettle over the fire for tea. “Tell me what it is that has ye flustered, and I’ll help ye as I may.”

Alayne smiled with relief, and proceeded to lay out the whole story. Her bargain with the king for Darren’s release, and everything that had followed. She explained her original decision, and how her thinking had changed over the past few days. She ended the tale with “And so I want tae tell him, but I dinnae ken how, or where, or even when I should speak tae him about it.”

Evina placed a cup of sweet tea in her hand. “As tae when - I’d say ye should tell Laird MacLean the truth as soon as possible. Nay later than taenight.”

“But how?” Alayne stared miserably at the tea in her hands. “I ken he values honesty, and I’ve been telling him a falsehood. He’s sure tae be angry.”

“Aye, ‘tis possible. Even likely. But the sooner ye admit tae it, the less anger he’ll feel. As tae the where and the how, ye’d ken better than I.” Evina took a deep breath. “This is nae something I can give ye sure advice on. Though, if I may speak o’ something I’ve observed over the years?”

“I’d appreciate anything ye can tell me.”

“Dinnae try tae seduce him and then tell him. A man is vulnerable and open during lovemaking in a way he isnae any other time. He’ll feel the betrayal all the more keenly in such circumstances, especially as Darren MacLean is intelligent enough tae ken what ye’re doing if ye try.”

Alayne nodded. The tactic had crossed her mind, but she’d discarded it for a different reason. “I wouldnae ken how tae seduce him when I was worried about something like that.” She sipped her tea, then paused as a thought came to her. “Darren has a liking for sweets. Would it be so bad tae offer him a cake or sweet biscuit, then tell him?”

“Nae. ‘Tis a good idea, actually, especially if ye frame it as an offering o’ apology. Tell him ye’ve something ye need tae explain tae him, and the sweets are yer way o’ apologizing that ye didnae tell him sooner. Tell him why ye did as ye did, and speak frankly.”

That seemed like good advice, and it matched what Alayne had been thinking. She finished her tea and rose from her seat. “Thank ye Evina. I’ll be sure tae take yer advice.”

She left the cottage and stopped by the kitchen. A quick conversation with the cook assured that Darren’s favorite sweet cake would be prepared as an after-dinner treat. She decided to serve it in his study, where they could expect some privacy, but without the overtones that such a gesture in the bedroom might have.

The day passed slowly, with no sign of Darren. She knew he was in strategy meetings, but the long hours of waiting wore heavily on her nerves. The noon meal passed, then the afternoon, then the supper hour, and still there was no sign of her husband.

As the time passed, Alayne moved from worry that she’d done something wrong, to irritation that he was apparently avoiding her.

She spent a candle-mark or so after she ate looking for him, but the shadows made her uneasy, for reasons she couldn’t explain even to herself. She felt as if she was being watched, though every time she looked around, there was no one there, save the occasional servant hurrying about their tasks.

Eventually, she returned to the study to wait for him, still uneasy over Darren’s absence, and frustrated. But when the evening hours deepened, and she saw Ryan, Adrian and Bard going about their other duties, the irritation and unease vanished to be replaced by outright panic.

Darren was no longer in meetings… so where was he?