Chapter 19

Daemon woke warm, and more relaxed than he had been in a long time. He turned his head to the side to regard the woman lying in his arms.

Lyla was still fast asleep. Daemon permitted himself a small smile as he remembered what had occurred. He'd almost expected to feel guilty or sickened if he ever gave in to his growing desire, but that wasn't the case. Instead, he felt happy and at peace, as if a light had been lit within his soul and driven away the bleak weight of despair he'd lingered in for so long.

Still, his new relationship with Lyla meant there were things he needed to take care of. Daemon took a moment more to gaze at Lyla's peaceful expression, then began to slowly and quietly remove himself from the bed.

Once he'd managed that, he secured a cloth to clean away the residue of their lovemaking, dressed as soundlessly as possible, then slipped out of the room, his mind working as he considered all the ways the situation had changed, now that he'd admitted his feelings for Lyla. There were several things he needed to take care of. First and foremost though, he needed to speak to Ryan and Cai.

Cai's room was closer, so Daemon knocked on his door first. Cai answered it a full minute after his knock, blinking sleep from his eyes. "Daemon?"

"Come with me. I need tae speak tae ye and Ryan." Daemon gestured for Cai to join him and headed toward Ryan's room.

Daemon knocked on the door, and Ryan answered a moment later. Daemon eyed his war leader. "Are ye decent, or entertaining company?" He had no desire to walk in on one of Ryan's assignations.

"I'm alone." Ryan stepped back to admit them both. "Though I'll admit I'm fair confused by what ye're doing here at this hour. Is there a council meeting?"

"There's nae any meeting. I simply wanted tae speak tae both o' ye." Daemon looked at his two friends and closest advisors. "I... last night, I came tae some decisions, and some realizations. I realized I've been wallowing in me grief, and acting like a wolf with a thorn in its paw. ‘Tis nae the way a laird should behave, nor how a man should treat his friends and those who help him." He turned to Ryan. "Lyla gave me a fair talking tae after we left ye, and made it clear ye were only offering her comfort when she was upset. I shouldnae have been so harsh with ye."

Ryan rolled his shoulders in an easy shrug. "'Tis all well enough. I'm used tae yer moods, me laird. And ye seem a fair bit calmer this morning."

Cai nodded. "Aye. Ye've been more relaxed, and more open the past few days, but taeday, ye seem... content. At peace, mayhap."

Daemon frowned. He hadn't realized his internal struggles were that obvious. Ryan and Cai deserved some explanation, and yet, he was reluctant to tell them about Lyla. The relationship was still so new and uncertain between them.

He settled for a less specific, though still honest, response. "I finally decided tae stop arguing with meself and trying tae deny the way I feel. And I've come tae realize that there's naught wrong with allowing meself tae be happy and find love again, fer all I've been afraid o' disrespecting Rowan's memory."

Cai smiled. "I'm glad ye've finally realized it."

"Aye." Ryan gave him a bemused look. "All this time, reading and rereading that letter Rowan gave ye... and it's taken ye this long tae realize that she wanted yer happiness above all else?"

"Aye. It took some time. But I understand it now."

Cai's smile shifted subtly into a smirk. "Perchance ye've finally understood the wisdom o' listening tae yer heart because some lass has succeeded in getting past yer walls tae capture it?"

Daemon scowled, but there was no heat behind the expression. "Mayhap." He hesitated. "But ye ken this means I'll nae be wanting tae wed Kathleen MacLachlan."

"And what o' it?" Cai raised an eyebrow. "We're nae hurting fer allies. The match would be a good one, aye, but if it's nae what ye want, then it's nae what ye want. Ye're the laird, and we'll follow yer lead."

"Even if it seems I'm making an unwise choice?"

"Even if it means ye'll challenge the devil at the gates o' hell." Cai responded. "Ye married fer alliance once, and it turned out well, but ye should have a chance tae follow yer heart. And I'd rather see ye dae so, even if ‘tis unwise, than see ye slip back intae yer despondent ways."

"Aye. I agree." Ryan nodded. "And so's Alyn, fer she told me she's noted the change in ye o' late, and is happy tae see it."

Daemon felt an unexpected lump in his throat. He'd always feared, in the back of his mind, that he might make a choice that would cause his friends to stand against him. And yet, it was just like his relationship with Lyla. He'd been so afraid that it was wrong, that he would wake and realize he'd made a terrible mistake in succumbing to his desire for her. Instead, he'd found peace, and the beginnings of genuine happiness, stronger even than the joy he'd had with Rowan.

"Thank ye both." He clapped the two men on the shoulders. Outside the window, the sun had risen, and morning was well and truly begun. Daemon's stomach chose that moment to rumble, reminding him that he and Lyla had both missed the evening meal.

Ryan laughed. "It sounds as if we need tae get ye some food."

"Aye. And then we've work tae dae as well." Daemon allowed his mouth to relax into the smallest of smiles. "There's a feast tae be planning, and a war party tae finish outfitting."

"And a council tae explain yer decision tae." Cai added.

Daemon winced. That was not going to be a pleasant confrontation. He knew the elders wouldn't like the fact that he was refusing their advice, and a potential alliance marriage. He knew there would be even more tension caused by the fact that he'd no intention of announcing who he loved until after he'd managed to speak to Lyla's father and secure his blessing. It was only proper.

A month ago, thoughts of the argument awaiting him would have been a surefire way to get a headache. Now, however, Daemon only felt a slight bit of irritation. He blinked, wondering why that was, and felt warmth fill him as he realized where the newfound calm came from.

For the first time since Rowan had passed, he felt sure of his footing, mentally, emotionally, and as a laird. And more than that, he felt the unwavering support of the two men who walked with him toward the Great Hall for breakfast. It was like being aware of a firm foundation, solid as the stones of MacMillan Keep, supporting his movements.

There were still challenges to be worked through, not the least of which was aiding Clan MacLean, but the thought of them no longer filled him with annoyance and dread. In fact, Daemon even thought he might be looking forward to them. And to telling Lyla about his thoughts for the future.

* * *

Lyla awoke alone, her arms empty. Daemon was gone, though a glance at her window said it was still fairly early in the morning. The realization that Daemon had snuck away without waking her, likely deliberately, sent a pang through her chest.

She'd thought they'd agreed to accept their feelings, that Daemon was no longer fighting to put distance between them. But sneaking out in the early morning – it put her in mind of the stories she'd heard, and others she'd read, about men leaving their lovers so as not to get caught with them. She tried to tell herself that it probably wasn't like that – tried to convince herself that Daemon had simply had some early morning business to take care of and hadn't wanted to disturb her. But whatever his reason was, she had to admit she felt a little hurt that he'd not even bid her farewell when he left.

Lyla dressed in a thoughtful frame of mind. By the time she'd finished her morning ablutions and was ready to brave the Great Hall for breakfast, she'd resolved to speak to Daemon before she came to any conclusions regarding his behavior. After all, there might be a perfectly good reason why he'd left without waking her.

Decision made, she hurried toward the hall, hoping that Daemon would still be there, eating his own meal. She could ask for a moment of his time, and any potential misunderstandings could be dealt with. She was still trying to think of how to word the question when she turned a corner and almost plowed into Alyn.

Alyn let out a huff of air. "Lyla! Just the person I was looking fer. I need yer assistance with some aspects o' the feast planning fer taemorrow. And some ideas about the music and the dances that we'll have. Ye ken I wanted tae have a ceilidh, but I'm nae certain how tae make such an event special fer women – dancing is generally a pastime fer men and women both. And there's also the decorations tae be planning – what sort o' decorations would be best tae symbolize women?"

Lyla blinked in bemusement as Alyn grabbed her arm and began to lead her down the corridor, still chattering away. She couldn't seem to get a word in edgewise, let alone excuse herself. After a moment, she sighed, resigned to both missing breakfast and being unable to see Daemon till later.

Breakfast turned out not to be too much trouble, as Alyn led her to the kitchen. Lyla spent a large portion of the morning tasting various items, helping decorate pastries, and generally doing whatever Alyn asked her to do. By the time the noon meal came round, she was ready for a rest.

She intended to seek out Daemon then, but Alyn suggested taking their meal in the garden, so they could look at the flowers and decide what they might want to do in terms of decorations, both inside and outside the hall. The suggestion was a good one, especially since the weather was clear and sunny, and the air was full of the scent of fresh spring growth. She spotted Daemon across the courtyard at one point, speaking with the warriors who were in training, but she had no chance to talk to him.

By the time they'd decided to use heather as part of the decorations, and search out wildflowers as well, Daemon had disappeared. Lyla sighed, and went back to helping Alyn with the planning.

She did plan to speak to him sometime during the afternoon, but there was so much to be done in preparation for the celebration. It was even more important because it was the first time a celebration of women – and only women – had been held. There were no precedents, which meant everything they did had to be checked and double-checked to make sure it went as well as possible.

It wasn't like a typical feast day, where the ceremonies and speeches and what not had already been planned, and expectations of what was included had been established. That meant more work than normal.

The fact that the clan was also preparing to aid MacLean meant they had to be creative in some of their supply usage. Alyn and Lyla both agreed that they wanted to be sure the warriors who would go to MacLean's aid had everything they needed, even if it meant they had to find some alternatives for some of the preparations they wanted to make. Mead and beer, for example, were things that the men would want to have on the march. Instead of serving it at the feast, Alyn suggested they serve wine, and a strong herbal tisane, as well as small measures of whisky for the men.

Daemon came by the kitchens at one point, but Lyla was deep in helping knead loaves, and covered in flour. He left before she had a chance to extricate herself from the work.

She managed to convince one of the servants to let her take the afternoon tray up to his office, in hopes of catching him alone. Unfortunately, she arrived to find him in the middle of discussions with Cai and a man whom she vaguely recalled was one of the harbor masters for MacMillan. She didn't linger, not wanting to distract them from what was obviously a very important discussion about the best way to move troops across the Firth of Lorne.

By the time she finally excused herself for a break in the late afternoon, she was tired from all the work she and Alyn had been doing, and frustrated as well. She wanted to talk to Daemon. A day of near misses had left her feeling as if he was avoiding her, although she knew it wasn't true. They were both busy. Still, between his silent departure and the inability to talk to him, she couldn't help feeling as if he might be avoiding her – or ashamed of what had passed between them.

To distract herself, she went to the garden. The flowers wouldn't be gathered until the day of the feast, but it was good to start looking for likely plants now. She was contemplating a patch of primroses and bluebells when the sound of someone clearing their throat made her turn.

Daemon stood there, his expression uncertain. "I dinnae want tae disturb ye, but I was hoping we could speak."

Lyla swallowed. Now that she had him alone, her words and questions seemed to have died away, leaving only the accusation that had lingered since the morning. "Ye didnae seem so eager tae talk this morn, seeing as how ye left afore I was even awake."

"Aye." Daemon sighed. "I didnae intend tae be discourteous, but I needed tae have words with Ryan and Cai. I meant tae speak tae ye later, but…"

"But we were busy. There's much tae be done. I've feast preparations tae help Alyn with, and ye have battle plans tae make." Lyla nodded. "I saw ye several times, but there was never a chance tae speak with ye."

Daemon nodded. Lyla took a deep breath, then spoke the words she'd been harboring in her thoughts for most of the day. "The way ye left... I was wondering if ye were ashamed o' being with me, and thinking tae put space between us again."

"Nae that. Never that." Daemon stepped closer, his hand cupping her cheek in a gentle caress. "'Twas never that. I told ye last night, I'm done running from my feelings." He bent his head and kissed her, a soft, gentle press of his mouth against hers. "I dinnae ken where this will lead us, I admit. And it's been a long time since I've had tae think o' such things. I ken I'll make mistakes, like as nae many o' them, and the way I left this morning was one, but I didnae slip away because I didnae want tae be with ye."

"All right. I believe ye. I was just…" Lyla colored. "Ye ken, I'm nae used tae... tae…" She struggled to find words.

"Tae romance. I ken. Dinnae fret over it." Daemon brushed a thumb across her cheek in a gentle gesture. "I wanted tae make sure ye were all right, and that ye had nae regrets afore the council meeting."

"Council meeting?" Lyla's brow furrowed.

"Aye. They want me decision on the marriage proposal. I wanted tae make sure ye werenae regretting being with me, afore I tell the council I'll nae be accepting the proposal."

"'Tis a good alliance…"

"But ‘tis nae what I want. Would ye really want me tae wed another, after we've found each other?" Daemon gazed at her, and Lyla felt her heart skip a beat at the seriousness in his blue eyes.

"Nay. I dinnae want ye tae wed someone else." And she didn't. She was still confused by her feelings for Daemon, but she understood that much at least. Seeing him with another woman would hurt more than she wanted to admit.

"Then I'll be declining the proposal." Daemon offered her a small smile. He bent and brushed his lips against her forehead. "The meeting should be beginning soon, and the sooner it starts, the sooner it'll end. I'll see ye at supper."

"Aye. At supper." Before she could stop herself, she returned his kiss, pressing her lips to his in one swift movement before she stepped back. "I'd best be getting back tae work, in that case."

"Aye. Duty calls." Another small smile, then Daemon turned and went back inside. Lyla watched him go, her heart singing and her spirit lighter than it had been in quite some time.