Chapter 17

Daemon woke the next morning to find Alyn laying out his breakfast. The pain in his head was starting to fade. He wished his shame, as he remembered what had happened during the night, could fade just as easily.

Even drug-hazed and wounded, kissing Lyla like that – touching her like that –was unacceptable. Why she hadn't pushed him away and slapped him hard enough to knock him back into unconsciousness was something he'd never know. Though perhaps she'd been afraid of wounding him further.

Whatever her reasons, he needed to apologize, and to make it clear that he hadn't intended for that to happen. He needed to make sure she understood that he knew he'd behaved poorly, and that it wouldn't happen again. With that goal in mind, he dragged himself out of bed, and began to get ready for the day.

Half a candle-mark later, he'd received word that an emergency council would be meeting as soon as breakfast was over, and that Cai was recovered and would be allowed to attend, so long as he didn't strain himself or do anything that would tear the stitches. He'd also discovered from one of the maids that Lyla was awake and breaking her fast in her rooms.

No doubt she felt as awkward as he did, if not horrified by his actions. Daemon finished his breakfast as fast as he could manage without choking, and made his way to her rooms. He knocked.

Lyla let him in a moment later, blinking in surprise. "Daemon?"

From the blush that stole across her cheeks a moment later, she remembered last night as well as he did. That meant there was no point in beating around the bush. "I wanted tae talk tae ye about last night."

"About last night?" She looked up at him. There was no scorn or distaste in her eyes, and he was thankful for that. It made him feel a little bit better, at least. "Ye mean…" She trailed off as her blush deepened.

"Aye. I shouldnae have touched ye like that."

She looked up at him again, this time with a slightly furrowed brow. "Why nae? Dae ye nae like me in that way?"

Daemon swallowed. The wise thing would be to say that he didn't desire her. But that was a lie that could be too easily revealed. "Ye're a lovely young woman, and I cannae think that there's any healthy man who doesnae feel some desire fer ye. But I shouldnae have acted as I did. It wasnae right."

"Wasnae right?"

He shook his head. "There's a number o' reasons why, including the difference in our ages, and the fact that I married yer sister, even if she's gone now. Tae touch ye like that... I was out o' me mind, me wits muddled by the injury and the medicine. ‘Twas a moment of folly caused by being knocked brainless and waking confused. ‘Tis all."

"If ye say so." Lyla looked as if she was going to say more, then thought better of it.

"I dae. And I'm sorry it happened. But I wanted ye tae ken that it willnae happen again. And I dae enjoy yer company at meals, and other times. I dinnae want ye tae feel awkward, or as if ye need tae avoid me. Ye need nae fear I'll take such liberties again."

"I'm nae worried about it. I ken ye're an honorable man and that last night ye didnae have yer wits about ye." She sighed. "'Twas partially me fault as well, fer nae pushing ye away and stepping back, so there's nae need fer ye tae apologize and feel guilty. ‘Tis best we just leave it as something o' a midnight dreaming, and forget anything else."

He could agree to that. He nodded. "As ye will. I thank ye fer yer understanding." He glanced at the clock by her bed. "If ye'll excuse me, there's a council meeting I must attend. Alyn is like tae be sleeping, but if ye wish tae, ye could speak tae the cook about what foods ye think ye might want fer the women's festival and start looking for musicians. We need the feast even more now after the attack to cheer the clan."

Lyla smiled at him, and Daemon felt his heart thump hard in his chest. "I'll dae that."

He left before he could get himself into any more trouble, or say something he shouldn't.

Ryan met him halfway to the council chambers. "Daemon. I'm glad I caught ye. There's something we need tae discuss afore the meeting."

Daemon frowned. "Is it urgent?"

"It might be. But ‘tis certain sure something ye'll need tae deal with in a timely manner." Ryan turned and headed toward the study, and Daemon followed.

He found Cai, sitting at the table by the fire, holding a thick piece of paper, embossed with the seal of the MacLachlan Clan. He frowned. He and Laird MacLachlan had a courteous relationship, but not much more than that. They were friendly neighbors, but they'd always kept their business to themselves. "What is that?"

"Read it fer yerself." Cai handed the missive over.

Daemon read it. Then he read it again, stunned by what it said. Then a third time, as if rereading would change the words inscribed on the page.

They didn't change. No matter how many times he looked at it, the paper said the same thing. Laird MacLachlan was offering him a betrothal contract for his daughter, Kathleen.

He'd only met the lass a few times, and remembered very little about her. She was older than Lyla, but not his age – perhaps closer to Erin's age. He vaguely recalled that she was shy, quiet, and soft-spoken. Pretty enough, if not in the ethereal way that the MacDougall sisters were. He couldn't recall anything else about her.

As for the match itself – Clan MacLachlan was much like his own, a small clan caught between the Firth of Lorne and the Campbell Clan. They were prosperous enough and strong enough that the branch of the Campbells on the norther borders had never pressed them too hard, but the old laird was getting on in years, and had no sons. Unless his daughter married a second son, or married and bore two heirs, before his passing, the clan would pass to a cadet line.

Accepting the betrothal and the marriage would double the size of the lands he controlled, and also the forces he could command. It would make him stronger, and leave him with safer borders than he currently had. He would control the entire Lorne peninsula. In terms of resources and political advantages, it was a good match.

He lifted his eyes from the parchment. "Ye read this?"

"Aye." Cai nodded. "There's benefits tae us, and nae just the bride's dowry. The match is a strong one and gives MacMillan a good hold on this part o' the Highlands. And a position o' strength, even against the larger clans."

Ryan agreed. "'Tis likely we can get favorable terms, like fer ye tae be a regent o' the clan until ye have a second son. And either way, ‘tis more allies on our side."

Cai picked up the conversation. "Ye ken the council will have tae hear about this. Like as nae, they'll want ye tae accept the offer. And the year o' mourning is past, so ye cannae use that as a reason fer refusing or putting off the decision."

"Aye. And they'll want an answer now, with ye planning tae ride tae aid MacLean. A betrothal tae secure the clan if something goes wrong. Ye ken they'll bring that up."

If he perished without issue, although he'd told no one, he'd made arrangements that either the youngest MacLean could claim the title through kin-by-marriage, or Alyn could claim it for her husband or betrothed. From the closeness between them, he'd long suspected that Ryan might court his cousin, and he was of the mind that the clan could do worse for a laird than the war leader his father had adopted as a boy and raised in his household like a second son. Although he despised the idea of Ryan and Alyn more than anything.

Of course, that didn't change the fact that the Council would demand he try to secure a wife and a babe if the opportunity arose, as it so clearly had. They would say, and rightly so, that just because he had plans in place didn't mean he should resign himself to letting the clan pass out of his bloodline.

Had the proposal come a fortnight ago, he would have considered it, then probably agreed. He would have accepted the necessity of a marriage for an heir, and concluded that a quiet wife he could peacefully coexist with, and comely enough to do his duty by, was the best he could hope for.

But now... now there was Lyla, awakening feelings in his heart that he had thought dead and buried with his first wife. Lyla with her smiles and her wild nature and her urging him to live, rather than just drift through the world.

Lyla had woken his heart again. Even though he knew the feelings he had for her were forbidden, and couldn't ever be acknowledged, still, something inside him recoiled from the idea of an arranged, and potentially loveless marriage.

For the first time in a very long time, Daemon found himself utterly at a loss, and with no idea of how he was going to respond to the newest complication in his life.

* * *

The garden was nice, but Lyla couldn't find the enjoyment in it that she usually would. The water from the recent rain had dried, leaving behind grass and flowers bursting into fresh growth with glorious abandon, but it did little to help her find the peace she sought.

Daemon had suggested they simply forget about the events of the previous night. She would have liked to, but nothing could erase her memory of those moments, and the way she'd felt when he had touched her. And nothing could change the feeling that had blossomed deep inside her, like the world's most reluctant flower, when she remembered the feel of his lips on hers.

She'd wanted to discuss it with Alyn, but had no idea how to broach the subject. How could she tell her friend that she was going weak-kneed and muddled as a mooncalf over Alyn's cousin, of all people?

Even if she had come up with a way to bring the matter up, she would have been struck dumb by the news Alyn gave her. According to what she'd heard from Ryan after the council meeting, someone else was also looking to get closer to Daemon.

A marriage proposal had come from Laird MacLachlan. A close neighboring clan, a strong clan, with a daughter who was older than Lyla, and rumored to be a quiet, well-behaved lady. And who, perhaps most importantly for Daemon, was not the younger sister of his deceased first wife.

Her first reaction on hearing the news had been shock. Then anger. Then hurt. It was only after she'd fled to the garden and spent some time aimlessly walking around it that she'd managed to control herself and start thinking things through properly.

Daemon was not her betrothed. She had no claim to him, and no right to be angry or upset that another was seeking to marry him. He was a handsome man, with a strong, prosperous clan, and a need for a wife and heirs. Really, the only surprise was that he hadn't been offered more betrothals before now. Once the year of mourning was up, he had become an eligible laird, and a fine prospect of a husband for any lass.

She knew that. She also knew that a month ago, she would not have thought twice about it. She might have been dismayed at the idea of Rowan's husband marrying again, and saddened by the reminder that her sister was no longer there, but that was all. She'd have wished him well, perhaps attended the wedding as kin-by-marriage if he wished, and then gone about her life.

But now... now she knew more of the man behind the icy mask of ‘the devil's servant'. Now she knew Daemon, knew his gentler side, and things she'd never dreamed possible. She'd seen him play hide and seek, and laughing in the waters of the loch as they had splashed each other. She'd felt his hands as he guided her through self-defense lessons. She'd heard his voice go rough with passion and gentle with kindness.

And somewhere along the way, she'd stopped being wary of him. She'd even come to be fond of him. More than that, their discussion in the library and her reading since had awakened new feelings within her. And, without her realizing it, those feelings had become tied to Daemon.

Last night, she hadn't been horrified or upset when he kissed her. Startled, yes, but then she'd wanted more. She couldn't imagine having that reaction to Ryan, or Cai, or any other man.

Somehow, she'd come to want Daemon. She knew it was foolish, that she was Rowan's sister to him, but that didn't change what her heart said, or how she felt. Even if her mind swore it was impossible, her heart still clung to the idea that perhaps they could find a way to be together.

"Ye're looking forlorn, fer a beautiful lass on a beautiful day." Startled, Lyla looked up to see Ryan, standing a few feet away.

She flushed. "I was thinking o' some things, I suppose. If ye're looking fer Alyn, she's in the village gathering some things fer the women's feast."

"I ken. I offered tae go with her, but she said it was better she went on her own." Ryan smiled. "I was heading tae the training yard when I spotted ye." He stepped closer. "If there's aught I can help ye with, ye've only tae ask."

Ryan – Ryan was Daemon's friend. He also had quite the reputation among the maids of the keep. Still, he was kind, and he was there, and she needed to speak to someone. Lyla bit her lip, then edged closer so she could speak in a low voice to avoid being overheard. "I... there's something that happened, and I dinnae ken what tae think or dae about it, and I could use some advice, if ye've a minute."

"Tae help a lovely lass like yerself? I've all the time ye need." Ryan led her over to a small bench, then sat down beside her. "What troubles ye?"

"I... I think I have feelings fer Daemon." And just like that, Lyla found the words pouring out of her, like water spilling from a burst dam. In hushed tones, she told Ryan about how she'd seen Daemon's gentler side, what it was like to see him relax and smile, and how it made her feel. She told him about the conversation in the library and the thoughts that had followed her afterwards, the things she'd wondered about. She told him about the strange sensations she'd felt during the self-defense lessons, how terrified she'd been when she'd realized he was hurt.

Finally, she told him about the kiss. "He just... he kissed me, and then he pulled back. He acted like he expected me tae pull away and... I couldnae. So, I kissed him back, and then…" She flushed. "Alyn came, and then this morning, he came tae me chamber and said we should just forget that it had happened, and treat it like a dream, or a momentary lapse by an injured and addled mind."

Ryan waited until she had finished speaking, then tilted his head. "Dae ye want tae forget it?"

Lyla considered the question. "Nay. I dinnae. I dinnae want tae disregard his feelings, but I dinnae want tae forget me own either. But I also ken there's a marriage proposal that came fer him, and that it could benefit the clan. And Daemon is a laird – ‘twouldnae be unreasonable tae expect him tae take an alliance marriage that could help secure his borders."

"All good points." Ryan nodded. "But are ye speaking as Lyla, the maiden, or as Lyla, a laird's daughter?"

"A laird's daughter. As meself…" She blushed. "I'd like tae burn the letter, then kiss him senseless, or until he comes tae his senses or pushes me away and sends me tae me faither." She twisted her hands together. "I ken I'm being foolish, but…"

"But love is often foolish, Lyla. It doesnae follow the rules o' common sense, most times. And it doesnae ask fer permission tae invade yer heart. It just is." Ryan reached out and put a hand over hers, his touch calming and comforting, rather than flirtatious. "And there's naught wrong with that, or with what ye're feeling. ‘Tis part o' life, and a wondrous part o' it tae, fer all it feels like a dreadful inconvenience at times."

Lyla stared at him. She hadn't expected such a forthright answer from the man, given his reputation. She'd expected a lighthearted, teasing response.

It seemed that Ryan, like Daemon, was more complex than he seemed. She blinked at him. "Ye're nae half the rake ye pretend tae be, are ye?"

Ryan chuckled. "I willnae say I've nae done me fair share o' bedding lasses, and a fair number o' them tae, but I'm nae so bad as all that. I've never asked fer more than a lass is willing tae give, and never promised more than I was willing tae fulfill."

"But ye're nae a light-o'-love, either, nae matter how ye act."

"Nay. I respect every woman, and I've never left one unhappy, or with hurt feelings, nor pursued one who has a heart or a husband elsewhere." Ryan smiled at her, his grin easy and soothing. "Someday, I'll find the lass I'm looking fer. And when I dae find the woman who holds me heart, she'll have all me attention, and never need fear me straying."

Lyla tipped her head. "But what o' Alyn? The two o' ye seem fair close."

Ryan shook his head. "Och, I love Alyn like a sister, but we fair grew up taegether, and I'm nae like tae ever see her as more than that. She's a good friend tae me, and the first person I'd want tae speak with if aught weighs heavy on me mind, but she's nae the lass fer me in terms o' romance or wedding. And she'll nae have more from me than a kiss on the cheek or a hug every now and then, fer otherwise Daemon would skin me alive. He'd never let me even think about laying finger on her."

Lyla snickered. "He's nae so bad."

"He's protective o' those he cares fer, and Alyn's his blood as well as his ward."

Lyla sighed. "Ye're right. Daemon is fierce about those he cares fer."

Ryan's expression softened with sympathy, and he reached out to wrap an arm around her shoulders and tug her into an embrace. "Och, dinnae fret. The matter will sort itself out."

"And it'll nae be the only thing, if ye dinnae let go o' her right now, Ryan."

Startled, Lyla and Ryan both whirled around, to find Daemon standing behind them, his face like a thundercloud.