Chapter 10

MARGARET

Iwake gently. I slept deep. Deeper than I can recall having slept since before the crash. I murmur, stretch, then slowly open my eyes. My head is resting on Mohlad's shoulder and he's looking down at me.

"Morning," I say.

"Beautiful," he says. "Treasure."

I smile and shake my head.

"I'm a mess."

"Mess? Beautiful mess."

I laugh and sit up. I'm sticky with sweat and other body fluids. By the time we'd finished last night, I don't really recall a break between finishing and falling asleep. It was a pretty quick transition from finishing to the warm embrace of sleep brought on by exhaustion.

"We need to get moving," I say, glancing through the break in the tent flaps.

The suns seem like they've been up a while and we are, after all, on a mission of life and death for the other survivors. Mohlad makes a groaning sound that I can only take for protest, but he gets up nevertheless and begins putting away our things.

The thing he doesn't do is get dressed. I pause my own preparations to admire his ass. I hadn't really seen it clearly in the dark before but damn. It's a little weird with his tail and wings, but the tail is above the ass and the ass itself is sculpted and hard as a rock.

While I feel desire, for sure, I also have one last twinge of doubt. He's so young. A hard body, a beautiful soul, and a handsome face. What does he see in me? I'm soft in places I really shouldn't be. Sags, wrinkles, and gray. I'm old and no matter our discussion about epis and fate and all of that, I still don't want him to feel trapped.

Yes, I think I might love him. It will take time to know that for sure, but I think so. And I cannot care for him in any way, much less truly love him, if I'm not doing what's best for him. I have to know that he is certain.

"Mohlad," I say, wiping the dried mess off myself with my discarded shirt. He stops working and turns. His cock swings distractingly but I'm old enough to know how to keep my focus. "Are you sure?"

"Sure?" he asks, frowning and tilting his head to the side.

"Yes. Sure. Us. Me, you," I motion between us. "Are you sure? It's okay if you're not. Now's the time. You were, well, amazing. Truly, but are you sure? I don't want to…"

I trail off because I'm not honestly sure what I don't want. I want him. And not just his cock or the sex. Even as I offer it to him, freely though it may be, the idea of him not being with me leaves an empty hole inside my chest that I don't think will ever be filled. There will never in my life be a way to replace him.

And that, that is love.

It's the love I came to know with Hank. That looking forward to waking up and seeing him each day. With Hank it took years to grow to this, but here I am, one night with Mohlad and I feel it. I want to see his smile when I wake and taste his kisses before I sleep. I want to know his thoughts. I want to share mine with him. I want to be at his side until my final days come.

He walks over and puts his arms around then curls his tail across the backs of my thighs. He doesn't say anything, only holds me tight. He kisses the top of my head then rests his head against me. We stand like this for what might be a long time or might be a few seconds. It doesn't matter because it is everything I want and more.

Finally he unwraps himself and takes a step back. He takes the old shirt in my hand and kneels in front of me. He carefully cleans me up as I stand there. Neither of us says a word. It happens in silence but it's perfect. So, incredibly, perfect.

When he finishes he pulls me closer and again he holds me. His head on my chest while his tail rises behind and encircles me. I'm looking down on his luscious hair. I run my hands through it silently.

"We go," he murmurs against my chest.

"Yes," I agree.

And just like that we both rise and put on our clothes. I assist in tearing down the tent and he does all the packing. He gets out a leather wrap and gives me some smoked meat. It's tough, but tasty and filling. I chew each piece for a really long time. We're mounted and on our way and I'm still working on my third and final piece.

We never said anything more. He didn't argue or disagree but his actions told me all I needed to know. We are going to be together. And the hole in my chest disappears with the certainty that I've found love. Late though it might be in my life, I've found a man who will love me more and better than even I have known.

What a beautiful thing. The entire world seems brighter. Fresh and new. The suns' rays dazzle across the sands. It looks like we're crossing a field of diamonds. Even the air smells fresher, the heat seems less oppressive. Heck, even the guster is somehow less terrifying and more of a big, almost cuddly lizard. If not for the spikes of course.

The creatures make a swaying motion as they trot across the desert that lulls me into a sense of peace. Mohlad and I occasionally make small talk as we ride, but mostly we travel in silence. Comfortable and easy. He asks questions about the kids and I regale him with story after story all of which he listens to as if enraptured. The way his eyes dance and the smile on his face lifts my heart even further.

"Family," he says after one of my stories.

The suns are dropping back to the horizon having passed all the way overhead. We ate while continuing the journey and he gave me more of the epis plant. I don't know if it's truly magical or not, but I do feel better than I have since crashing here.

"Yes," I say, nodding then a doubt swims through my happiness. "Are you okay with that?"

"Family?" he asks, tilting his head to the side. "Yours?"

"Yes," I nod.

He guffaws. It's a loud, unexpected sound that honestly startles me. I accidentally jerk on the reins to my guster and it jerks its head up and then tosses it side to side in protest. It tries to buck but I squeeze my legs and it seems to settle it down.

"Sorry," he says, shaking his head. He reaches over and pats the guster on the side of its head which seems to mollify it further. "Family, want." He pats his chest. "Much want."

A smile forms on my face that becomes so wide my jaws hurt.

"You're okay with this?" I ask, needing to be sure.

I'm not a woman without baggage. I have a family. A damn big one here on Tajss. Most of the survivors don't have anyone. Angota and Riley with their one baby, Nadia, are one of the biggest families among us. Thinking of this reminds me of how fortunate I am to have all of mine with me. The fact that we all survived is a miracle.

"Much," Mohlad says, nodding solemnly. "Dreamed of, wanted, always."

"Well you pulled that in for sure," I agree. "I've got plenty."

"Want more?" he asks with a quizzical look on his face.

No. Hell no.

Was my first and immediate thought but I don't voice it. This could be the crux of the relationship. I'm old and I went through menopause several years ago so I don't think I'm even capable of having more kids if I did want to. Will this be the deal breaker?

Disappointment fills my head and thoughts, but I have to face this too. There is no denying the truth, no matter how much I might like to continue in my rose-colored view of the world, but that would be living a lie.

"Honestly?"

"Please, yes," he says. "Okay."

"I'm not sure," I say. "Human females, we go through… a change…," how to explain that? "our bodies stop the ability to have babies at a certain age. I'm past that."

"Okay," he says, shrugging with a cheerful air of nonchalance.

"Okay?" I arch an eyebrow while frowning in his direction.

"Okay," he nods. "Family much is. Okay is. Good is."

I blink as unbidden tears fall from my eyes and I can't keep myself from sobbing. Just like that. No arguing, no debate, not even an instant's hesitation. He accepts me as I am. Old, wrinkled, and replete with a ready made family.

I turn my head and wipe away the silly tears. This is ridiculous but he makes me so happy that the emotions have to find some kind of an outlet. The thing I'd like to do is not possible right now, because we are on a mission and there's no time for us to waste on personal pleasures like that. I take a breath, hold it in, then slowly exhale.

"Okay you?" he asks, when I turn back around and the concern both in his voice and on his face is beyond any doubt.

I try to answer but I choke up and can't. I shake my head, raise one hand, then focus for a moment on breathing.

"Better than," I say at last. "Much."

He smiles. "Better? Why?"

"You," I say, tears threatening yet again.

Damn, I'm acting like a teenager with a crush. Get it together Marge! Mohlad frowns and shakes his head.

"Do I?"

"You're you," I say, staring into his dazzling eyes. Then on impulse, I add a single word but it comes with all the weight of my heart and soul when I say it. "Treasure."

His smile is more dazzling than the reflected suns dancing on the desert sand. My heart explodes in my chest. I could die I'm so happy. I never knew joy like this. Didn't know it was even possible yet here it is.

"Treasure," he says, pressing his hand over his hearts then he touches his lips and waves his hand towards me.

I catch his blown kiss and press it to my chest, right over my heart. I can't speak but that's okay. We both know what we're feeling and what we mean. Words are not necessary.

I shift in my saddle, trying to ease the soreness. Suddenly I realize that our destination is right in front of us.

It's a massive piece of the ship that was buried into the sand. It looks similar to what Jean described but it looks like it's tilted further over from when she was here. Mohlad pulls back on his reins and the guster comes to a stop. Mine follows suit at his side. He growls.

There are footprints on the sand going into the ship. Big ones.

Mohlad pulls his lochaber off his back and then climbs off his guster.

"Here wait," he says, motioning at me. "Trouble, run, you."