8. Gabby

She stared at Sean in disbelief. He wanted to be her Daddy. He said he didn't expect sexual favors in return, and she believed him. But the talk about him being her forever Daddy, she knew that would never happen. He didn't know about her past and how damaged and yucky she was. As soon as he found out, he would want nothing to do with her. Not that she would blame him. But maybe, just for a little while, she could live in the fantasy world that she'd built up in her head where she had a caring Daddy. He was offering her that world, even if it was only temporary.

"What would you expect from me as your little girl?"

Sean opened his legs and patted the floor in front of him.

"Come sit in my lap, and I'll tell you."

A shiver ran down her spine. He had never really told her what to do and while the command was gentle, being instructed to do something by Sean made her feel funny inside. Good funny.

She crawled on her hands and knees to sit between his legs while leaning her back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"There, that's better. I like it when you sit in my lap. I love holding you."

Yeah, she did too.

"What I would expect from you as my little girl… well, first and foremost, I would expect honesty and communication."

Gabby instantly tensed.

"Calm down, little one. I know you have a hard time talking about your past, and I can be patient when it comes to that. But when it comes to the present, I need you to be honest with me. If I ask you a question, I need honesty. If you aren't feeling well or you're scared or panicking, I need you to tell me immediately. That's what I mean when I say honesty and communication. Do you think that would be doable?"

She relaxed against him again and nodded. She could do that. As long as she wasn't forced to tell him all about her past, she could handle that.

"Okay. What else?"

"I would expect that you obey the rules I give you, and I would expect you to obey me when I tell you to do something."

Shit. Why did the word obey make her tummy flutter? She shouldn't like that word, right?

"What if I break a rule?"

She waited anxiously for him to answer. Sean didn't seem like a violent or abusive man, but one could never be too sure.

"If you break a rule, you would be punished. I might spank you using my hand, or I might put you in timeout or give you an early bedtime. No matter what the punishment was, you would have a safeword, so if at any time there was something seriously upsetting or scaring you, you would be able to stop it immediately."

Gabby twisted the hem of his shirt around her finger and pondered that for a moment.

"Would you hit me with a belt?"

Sean's arms tightened around her slightly.

"Would you want me to hit you with a belt, Gabby?"

"No. I really really wouldn't want that."

She knew she sounded desperate, but she needed him to understand how much the idea of being hit with an object scared her.

He let out a sigh of relief, "Okay, good. I would never want to use a belt on you. I don't enjoy using implements or causing too much pain. I'm a soft Daddy. I get more pleasure from making a Little feel safe and secure than from giving discipline."

His words melted her. Gabby had always wanted a Daddy, but she had also always known that many Daddies enjoyed giving discipline and using other elements of BDSM that involved pain, and she knew she couldn't have a relationship like that. A spanking didn't sound like the worst thing in the world, as long as it was with his hand. In fact, the idea of his hand on her bottom kind of did something to her insides that felt warm and fluttery.

"Do you have any questions about that? You can tell me anything that makes you feel uncomfortable."

She sighed and leaned as far into his chest as she could. His arms felt like heaven around her, and she never wanted to leave the warmth of him.

"I don't like people yelling at me. I also don't want to be spanked with any type of implement other than your hand, and I think I would be terrified if you were really angry and wanted to spank me."

Sean shifted her so he was cradling her in his arms, almost like a baby, and stared down at her tenderly.

"I won't ever scream at you, baby girl, unless you were in immediate danger, and I needed to get your attention. I am fine with not using any implements to spank you, and I would never attempt to discipline you if I really was angry. I would always make sure to calm down before administering any kind of punishment."

"Okay."

He nodded, "Thank you for telling me all of that. Telling me your likes and dislikes will help me to understand you better and be a better Daddy for you."

Reaching up slowly, she ran her fingers over his short beard and felt calm spreading through her entire body.

"I think I want to try being your little girl. But I've never had a Daddy, so I don't know what I'm doing. I'm also a freak, and not an easy person to deal with."

Sean's eyes darkened slightly at her words.

"Gabby, listen to me; you are not a freak. You. Are. Not. A. Freak. You have been through some stuff in your life, and you're coping. You're surviving. I hope that between me giving you the care and safety that you need and therapy with Savannah, you will be able to heal some of your wounds, but you are not even close to being a freak. You are special, sweet, and soft, and I don't care how easy or hard you are to deal with. I want to be the one to deal with you. Do you understand?"

His words were firm, probably the firmest he had ever spoken to her, but they were also filled with emotion, and for the first time, Gabby actually wanted to believe that she wasn't a terrible person so she nodded.

"I want to ask you some questions about what you like and don't like when you're Little, and I need you to answer honestly. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes."

Sean rocked her in his arms slightly, and she felt as light as air.

"I know you like sippy cups. Would you be open to trying a bottle?"

She didn't even have to think about it before she nodded.

"Okay, good. And a pacifier?"

Gabby nodded.

"What about diapers?"

She had thought about diapers before and even saw them up close in the changing room at the club, but she hadn't ever tried them. They looked soft and fluffy but being a grown-up and wearing a diaper seemed kind of odd. But it wasn't like she was the most normal person in the world, and besides, if it made her feel good, that would be all that mattered, right?

"Gabby, you're overthinking. There isn't a right or wrong answer."

Smiling up at Sean, she realized she must have been zoning out in her thoughts.

"I've never tried them, and I don't think I'm opposed to trying them, but I don't know for sure."

He smiled and nodded, "Okay, baby. That's perfectly okay. There might be things you say no to now and say yes to later or vice versa. You might say yes to something now, and down the road, you hate it, so we'll stop doing it. Nothing is set in stone."

She relaxed her shoulders and ran her hand along his jawline again. Funny how something rough and prickly could be so soothing.

"Okay."

"Being your Daddy means doing things like helping you to take a bath, changing your clothes, going potty, and other things that are very intimate. While I promise that I don't expect anything sexual from you and I would never do anything you didn't want me to do, you would need to trust me enough to allow me to do those things. Do you think that's something that you'd be able to handle?"

Crap. She hadn't thought about all of that, and it frightened her. What if he couldn't control any urges that he had? Or what if he was just saying nice stuff to get her to agree?

You can "what if" it to death, but unless you take a chance, you won't know.

She was a grown-up, and she had the keys to her car. If he did something to her, she could leave at any time. It wasn't like she was a child anymore. Gabby bit her bottom lip as she thought about it, and finally, she looked up into his kind eyes, and she knew her answer.

"Yes, I can handle it."

Sean squeezed her tighter and continued to rock her gently.

"That's my girl."

His girl. Yeah, she liked the sound of that.

Sean made dinner while Gabby sat at the kitchen island and colored. When she finished coloring a picture of a dog, she ripped it out of the coloring book and held it up for Sean.

"Wow! That is a very purple dog. He's so cute."

She giggled, "It's a she, silly. That's why she's purple."

He grinned, took the picture from her, and immediately hung it on the refrigerator.

"You must really like dogs, huh?" he asked.

"Mmhmm. They are my favorite animals. And sloths. Oh, and cows. Well, pretty much anything furry, but dogs are my most favorite."

Holy cow. Had she ever talked so much? It was like the words were just spilling out.

Sean chuckled, "Sloths are pretty funny, aren't they?"

Gabby nodded as she searched for another picture to color.

"Have you ever had a dog? Besides Patches of course."

"No."

She felt herself tensing slightly at the question. She didn't want to have to explain to Sean why she had never had a dog because that would open a whole can of worms, and then he would discover that he wanted nothing to do with her.

"I had a dog growing up. His name was Rusty, and he was a golden retriever. He would play fetch for hours."

She giggled, "I love golden retrievers. I think they are my favorite. But I also like all the sad, ugly looking dogs because other people don't love them as much, but just because they are ugly doesn't mean they shouldn't be loved. So I love them."

Sean walked over to where she was sitting and smiled at her.

"That's one of the very many reasons why I think you're so special."

He tapped her nose and went back to cooking dinner. She grinned at the sweet words he said and flipped through the pages of the book.

"What would you name a golden retriever if you had one?" he asked.

She had found another dog picture and began coloring.

"Hmmm… Maybe Oliver and call him Olly for short? When I was a child, there was a movie I used to watch called Oliver and Company, and I always liked the name Oliver after that."

Sean chuckled, "That is a cute name. What made you decide to name your doggie Patches if Oliver is your favorite?"

Gabby giggled, "Because his name was on his collar when I got him. I've had him for so long that his collar broke, and if I had changed his name, he would have been confused."

"That makes sense to me, baby girl. Come on, let's eat."