18. Gabby

Several days passed since she'd told Sean and Damian about having a sister, and Sean had told her that when she was ready to talk more about it, he would be there for her to listen and help in whatever way she needed. He had been encouraging her to help him make meals, and she loved it. Putting recipes together and even trying to create their own meals without following a recipe was fun and exciting. Sean never got impatient with her when she needed help with measuring and while she normally would have felt ashamed and sad that she didn't know how to read measurements, her Daddy patiently explained and showed her several times. However, he scolded her a few times for feeding scraps to the puppy. He told her that if she wanted to feed him human food to put it in his dog bowl so he wouldn't start begging.

Having him as her Daddy was more than she could ever have dreamed of, and she didn't know if she would ever be able to walk away from him, which was why she had left the nursery and tiptoed down to his office with Olly trailing clumsily behind her. Sean had told her repeatedly that he hoped she would never leave his home and that she would be his little girl forever, but she had never said anything in response to that because, in the beginning, she was sure that he would change his mind and decide that she was too much to handle. As days passed, then months of getting to know him, Gabby realized that Sean wasn't just saying those things to be nice or to fill her with false promises.

They still hadn't been intimate, and he hadn't pressed her for anything more than kissing, which assured her that he wasn't just being her Daddy in exchange for sex. The outline of his penis in his pants told her frequently that she turned him on, but he had never acted on it, and she knew that was one of the reasons she trusted and loved him so much.

Knocking on his office door to alert him that she was standing in the doorway, Sean looked up from his desk and smiled.

"You don't ever have to knock first, baby girl."

Another reason she loved him so much was that he never hid anything from her or made her second guess anything that he told her. He acted as though his house was as much hers as it was his, and he reminded her often to make herself at home and even told her if there was anything in the house she wanted to change or redecorate to just let him know, and she could. Not that she ever had because she had no idea how to decorate but also because the way his house was already done felt so warm and welcoming that she couldn't think of a single thing that she would want to change.

"Daddy, can we talk?"

Sean dropped his pen, sat back in his leather office chair, and opened his arms for her to come to sit on his lap.

"Of course, come here. We can always talk. Nothing is more important than you."

Gabby walked into the large office, climbed up into his lap, and snuggled in against his hard chest. He was built like a rock for a man who sat at a desk all day for work. Hard in all the right spots and soft in his heart. The perfect combination in her eyes.

"What's up, my little princess?"

Relaxing against him, she fingered the button of his shirt and let out a deep breath.

"I don't ever want to leave here. I want to be your little girl forever."

Sean tensed, and for a brief moment, she wondered if he had changed his mind, but then he squeezed her so tightly that she could barely breathe, and he buried his face into her neck.

"Daddy, c-can't breathe," she struggled to get out.

Sean instantly loosened his grip on her and chuckled.

"I'm sorry, baby. I just, I've been waiting and hoping to hear you say those words for so long. I want you to be my little girl forever too. One day, I want you to be my wife, but not until I know you're ready and I can ask you properly, but you are it for me. There is no one else, and you are the person who has changed my entire world for the better."

Tears began to stream down her face, her arms wrapped around his neck as he rubbed up and down her back. He was her home and her safe place.

"I have never felt so safe and loved, Daddy. I never even thought it was possible. For some reason, I just thought I was unlovable or defective or something and that I didn't deserve it, but you have shown me that even though there are monsters hidden in the shadows all over, there are also angels, and you saved me."

Running his hand down her back, Sean buried his face in her neck again and pressed slow kisses along her skin. Goosebumps ran along her arms with each kiss, and something churned inside, low in her belly as she breathed in his fragrance. He moved his kisses up her neck and began kissing her face, starting at her left cheek, right cheek, forehead, nose, and then settling on her lips.

Cradling his face with her hands, Gabby kissed him back, feeling the scratchiness of his beard against her palms. He was so handsome and kind, and everything she could ever want in a man, and her pussy was pulsating in response to his mouth on her. Her lips parted for his tongue to pass through so he could explore her mouth while she explored his.

Their arms wrapped around each other, his hands running up and down her body, caressing her ass and squeezing gently before roaming up to her hips and ribs again. Gabby let out a moan into his mouth and realized she was pressing her chest into his and grinding against his lap. Never would she have thought a man would turn her on after what had happened in her past.

His hands slid back down her body, kneading and massaging her ass, pulling her down harder, so she was pressing against his erection. One hand stayed on her bottom while the other hand moved up to her front, cupping her breast. Her body felt like it was in overdrive, all the sensations coming together until she was a moaning, grinding, panting ball of arousal.

Rising from his chair, Sean picked her up as he stood and carried her upstairs to his bedroom, their mouths entangled the entire time. Laying her on her back, Sean leaned over her, covering her body with his. Suddenly she began to feel small and suffocated. As though she was trapped and she couldn't get away. Trying to focus on the feeling of his mouth on hers, Gabby attempted to kiss him back to distract herself from the panic rising, wrapping her hands around his large biceps which only made her realize he could completely overpower her, just like he had when she was young.

Her skin felt sticky with sweat, and the feeling of arousal in her stomach turned to fear and panic as his large body was wrapped around hers. He wasn't pushing her for anything more than the kiss they were sharing, but her mind was now picturing every horrible thing that he could do to her, and suddenly, all she could see in her mind was his face. His sweaty, scraggly, fat face and the smell of liquor and cigarettes on his breath invaded her mind, and suddenly she couldn't breathe.

Flailing her hands, Gabby located his chest and pushed hard, until he lifted himself from her and stared down at her with confusion.

"Get off of me, get away from me! Don't touch me! No, no, no!"

Sean immediately backed up, pain and confusion etched across his face and then nothing but concern as she got up from the bed and ran from the bedroom to her nursery. She collapsed onto the carpet and sobbed, trying to catch her breath, feeling as though her world was going dark around her, and she couldn't stop it.

The sound of footsteps nearby made her open her eyes, and she expected Sean to come stomping in angrily, screaming or hitting her for what she'd done. It didn't matter, though, because she couldn't even breathe, and she was pretty sure that she was going to pass out.

Instead of being angry, he had Olly in his arms, and he immediately came down to the floor and sat at her side, putting the puppy into her arms.

"Breathe, Gabby. Pet Olly and feel his fur. Let him soothe you, and let's breathe together, baby girl."

Running her hands down his fluffy fur, she instantly felt herself calm, just slightly, but enough that she was able to breathe in and out as Sean prompted her.

"Deep breath in, hold it for a second, and push it out, baby. Do it again. Look at your surroundings. You're safe, Olly and Daddy are with you, and you are taking deep breaths. That's it, baby."

Sean didn't touch her. Instead, he sat close enough that she could touch him if she wanted, and she could see in his face that he was hurting, but he was also concerned about her. She didn't know what to think, and she couldn't have even thought if she wanted to.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm so sorry. I can't do this, I just can't."

The words were heavy as they came out of her mouth because as she said them, her heart was breaking. She couldn't handle being intimate with him, which meant she couldn't be his. He needed someone who could give themselves to him wholly, and she couldn't do that.

"Baby, stop talking, just pet Olly and breathe. We will talk about it later."

Burying her face into the dog's fur, Gabby focused on her breathing and listened to Sean talking softly to her, telling her that everything would be okay and that she was safe.

"I don't know if I can do… that… with you," she said softly.

Warm hands touched her arms, and she looked up to meet her Daddy's caring gaze.

"Gabby, I don't care if we can never have sex or be intimate. I love you, and I want to be with you. I understand why it's something that scares you, and I would never pressure you to do something that scared you or could potentially harm you, mentally or physically."

Nibbling on her bottom lip, Gabby thought about his words, but she knew it would be selfish of her to be with him yet not give him what most people needed to be happy. She loved kissing and snuggling him, but that wouldn't satisfy him forever.

"You have needs that I can't fulfill."

Sean reached out and scooped her up, pulling her into his lap.

"Baby girl, you have fulfilled so much that was missing from my life. If I have physical needs, I can take care of those myself in the shower. As long as I can snuggle, kiss, hug, do all the things that we have already been doing, I don't need anything else."

In the back of her mind, Gabby knew that it wasn't fair for him to not be able to have everything with her. She wondered if he would end up finding someone else to satisfy his physical needs, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to handle that.

You're being selfish. You won't give him you, but you don't want him to get it somewhere else.

"It's not fair to you," she whispered.

Turning her, so she was facing him, Sean cupped her chin, tilting her head back until she looked up at him.

"Gabby, I don't need fair. I need you, I want you, and I love you. If you don't want me as your Daddy, though, I will never force you to be mine. If you want me as your Daddy but just can't have sex with me, then you will stay my little girl."

Staring down at her hands, she let out a deep breath. It wasn't fair to him, and he would change his mind eventually. He would decide that he needed a woman who could give him everything and not want someone who was a complete and utter disaster. Why did she have to grow up so broken? Why did she have to go through everything she had? Was life really that unfair?

And now, because she couldn't have sex with the one person who had shown her that not all people were monsters, she would eventually lose him. For now, though, she was still his little girl for as long as he would have her. When the time came that he wanted to move on, she would break into a million pieces - but at least she would have the memories to hold onto for the rest of her miserable life.