10. Gabby

Gabby sat in Savannah's office and talked about working at The Playground and how things were going at Sean's house. Every time the woman asked Gabby about her life before coming to Seattle, she shut down until Savannah changed the subject. It wasn't that she didn't think that Savannah was a sweet and kind woman. It was more that Gabby didn't want to think about her life before she met Sean.

Coming to Seattle had, so far, been the best thing that had ever happened to her. She had met Sean and he had been such a distraction from all the pain she'd experienced in her life that sometimes she almost felt normal. She had also pretty much forgotten the whole reason she'd come to Seattle in the first place. Okay, maybe not forgotten, but it didn't seem quite as important anymore because she actually felt like she belonged somewhere now. And that somewhere was with her Daddy.

She reminded herself often that things with Sean were only temporary and that he wasn't in love with her and she wasn't in love with him, and it would never work between them. He was simply a nice man who was giving her a place to stay until she made enough money to afford her own home, and he was only her temporary Daddy, providing her with the experience of being someone's Little.

Whenever she gave herself that reminder, though, her anxiety spiked, and she started panicking. She hadn't had a panic attack since the day he had found her on the kitchen floor, and when she was in little space, she didn't have any anxiety. However, when she was having grown-up thoughts, the anxiety and panic was still there, just below the surface, waiting to explode.

"Have you ever taken medication for your anxiety, Gabby?"

She looked up from the page she was coloring in Savannah's office. There was an entire play area in one corner of her office, and she told Gabby they could have their sessions over there anytime she wanted and that she could color or play while they talked. Gabby liked that area much better than the couch and chairs and felt more at ease. At least she was when Savannah wasn't asking questions that she didn't want to answer.

Looking back down at her coloring page, Gabby shook her head but didn't say anything. She had never been to a therapist, let alone a doctor, about her anxiety and panic attacks, and the thought of taking medication frightened her. She couldn't even swallow pills.

"Gabby, I know talking about your past is difficult, but most of the time talking with someone has a lot of benefits and can make you feel a lot better."

She wasn't so sure it would make her feel better. Wasn't the past better left in the past? Except that her past was the reason she was such a freak in the first place.

"If you don't want to talk to me about it, what about talking to Sean? I'm sure he would love to listen and give you the care and support you need. Have you thought about talking to him?"

"If I talk to him and tell him about me, he will realize what a piece of trash I am and tell me to get lost."

Even though Savannah was a well-dressed, sophisticated woman, she still sat on the floor near Gabby while they talked, and it was one of the things she liked about her therapist. The woman definitely had Mommy vibes, and even though Gabby didn't like women except as friends, she felt comfortable around Savannah.

"Gabby, honey, there is nothing that you could tell Sean that would make him care about you any less. Sean is a very kind-hearted man, and I can pretty much assure you that no matter what you tell him, he will still want to be your Daddy."

She didn't believe that was true, but she smiled and nodded at Savannah to hopefully appease her.

"Our time is up for today, but I really want you to consider talking to Sean. Otherwise, I will see you here in a couple of days, and we will pick up where we left off. Sound good?"

Gabby nodded and grinned when Savannah carefully ripped her coloring page out of the book and handed it over.

"I think your Daddy will love that."

Each passing day with Sean was more wonderful than the previous day. He was always attentive and kind. During the week when she was working, their day was mostly routine. He made her breakfast in the morning, got her dressed, and took her to work. Sometimes while she was at work, he would go in to his downtown office to work since it was closer to the club. That way, he could stop by and drop off lunch to her. Other times, he would pack a lunch for her to take so he could go home to work.

After picking her up from work each day, he brought her home and let her play while he did some chores around the house and made dinner. Then, after dinner, he would bathe her and read her a story before bed. She always offered to help with the chores, but he wouldn't let her, so she just always made sure to keep the nursery spotless so he didn't have to clean up after her.

She was slowly getting used to him seeing her naked, although she had noticed his erection through his pants several times and she didn't know how to feel about that. He was always respectful and never touched her in a way that made her feel uncomfortable. Even when he washed her privates, he didn't linger or prod. But knowing he was hard in response to her body both intrigued her and scared her.

Sean was the first man that she'd ever really felt attracted to and had thoughts about wanting to kiss. He hadn't tried to kiss her, and she would never have the guts to kiss him, but she had thought about it. She wondered what he would taste like and if he would be gentle or rough with her. Whenever she thought about anything more than a kiss with him, though, she panicked slightly - even though she usually found herself squeezing her thighs together.

He was proving to be a wonderful Daddy, and although he had talked about discipline and spankings when she became his little girl, she hadn't done anything to get into trouble. The only time he spoke even slightly stern to her was when he felt as though she wasn't eating enough. Most of the time when he wasn't satisfied with how much food she ate, he would just start hand feeding her himself.

Gabby wondered how long he would let her get away with not telling him anything about herself. He asked questions occasionally but never pressed her to answer, which she was thankful for. She had thought about what Savannah had told her about talking to him about her past, but she didn't want to throw poison on something that was going so well. As soon as he found out how messed up she was and how gross she was, he wouldn't want to be her Daddy. Even though she knew the whole arrangement was just temporary, she wanted to prolong having Sean as her Daddy for as long as she could.

"Eat some more of your eggs, Gabby girl."

She eyed the eggs on her plate and shook her head.

"I don't want anymore, Daddy. I'm full."

Sean frowned and walked over to where she sat at the table, scooping up some of her scrambled eggs onto her fork and holding them up to her mouth. She squeezed her lips together and shook her head.

"Open, little girl."

She didn't open her mouth for him, and instead, she crossed her arms over her chest, much to his obvious surprise. She usually tried to do as her Daddy said, but she really didn't like eggs, and he was always making them for her. He didn't know that she didn't like them, of course, because she would never say anything to him about it, so she had been choking yucky eggs down for the past several weeks. But today she just couldn't stand to eat another one.

"Don't want any."

He stared at her with an intense look and waited silently with the fork held up to her mouth. When she opened her mouth to tell him again that she didn't want anymore, he took the opportunity to put the bite of eggs in her mouth. Gabby froze, realizing what he'd just done, and used her tongue to push the icky eggs out.

"Little girl," he said in a low voice.

Her eyes widened, and she realized that he was not happy with her.

"Go upstairs to your room and put your nose in the empty corner. I am going to clean up this mess, and I will be up there shortly."

Slumping her shoulders, Gabby stood from the table and turned to head toward the stairs, but then she paused and turned back toward Sean.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I'll clean it up."

Sean looked up at her, and while he didn't look happy, the firm expression on his face wasn't terrifying either. He wasn't screaming at her or hitting her like she would have expected in her past if she had messed up.

"I'll clean it up, Gabby. You go up to your room and do as I said. I will be up in just a couple of minutes."

That couple of minutes of standing in the corner felt like hours, and she decided that she wholeheartedly disliked the corner. It was not her friend. She wondered if Sean would decide she was too much trouble and tell her to pack her stuff when he came up to her room, and the thought made tears begin falling from her eyes.

"Come here, Gabby."

The sound of Sean's voice made her jump. She hadn't heard him come into the room, and when she turned around to go to him, he was sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Hey, why are you crying, baby girl?"

Sean pulled her in between his legs and wrapped his arms around her as a sob escaped.

"I'm so sorry. Please don't make me leave. I'll be good. I j-just don't like eggs, but I'll eat t-them. Please don't kick me out. I want to be your little girl."

She was rambling, and she was surprised that he even understood any of the words she was saying between sobs, hiccups, and having her face buried against his shirt. Sean tried to pull her away from him, but she clung to him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Gabby, listen to Daddy. I am not ever going to make you leave. I will never kick you out. You are my little girl, and I love you. I want you to be mine forever. There are going to be times when you are naughty and misbehave or break a rule, but I will never kick you out because of that or stop being your Daddy."

Lifting her head from his chest, she stared into his gentle green eyes and sniffled.

"You love me?"

Sean nodded, "I think I've loved you since the day I met you. You are a hard person not to love. I love being your Daddy. I know you have a lot of things to work through, but I want to be here with you through all of it. You are the most precious thing in the world to me."

Her sniffles turned into loud, ugly sobs, and she was pretty sure she had snot running down her face, but she couldn't ever remember someone telling her that they loved her. He pulled her into him again and rubbed her back with gentle strokes until she quieted again.

"Baby girl, why didn't you tell me that you didn't like eggs? I have been making them for you because they are a good source of protein, but I had no idea you didn't like them."

Pulling her head away from his chest, Gabby stared down at her hands and chewed her lip.

"I don't want to complain about anything and make you mad or make you decide I was too much trouble."

Sean sighed, "What is the rule about communication and honesty?"

"I'm supposed to be honest about everything and tell you if something is bothering me or if I don't like something or I'm scared or upset."

"Gabby, you are allowed to have a voice here. You're not a doormat, and you are not in jail. You're allowed to tell Daddy if you don't like something. It isn't going to upset me. What upsets me is when you don't tell me, and then I cannot provide you with what you need. You're safe here. I need you to communicate with me. Heck, I need you to treat your room like it isn't a museum. I am not going to be upset if your room isn't perfect. Baby girl, I want you to live here. Not just exist."

His words registered with her, and her eyes filled with tears again. He loved her and wanted to keep her, and she was safe with him.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"I know, baby. But, you broke one of Daddy's rules, and you spit out your food instead of speaking up, and there are consequences for that."

She looked up to meet his eyes and felt a surge of nerves rush through her body. He had never talked about consequences except for their initial conversation about discipline.

"It's time for your first spanking, Gabby. I will only use my hand as we talked about, but it will be on your bare bottom. You will have your safeword to use if you start panicking or feel as though you are in danger. Do you agree that you deserve a spanking?"

For whatever reason, the thought of being spanked by Sean didn't terrify her. She knew it would hurt, and she knew that it wasn't meant to be pleasant, but for some reason, a reason she couldn't even begin to figure out, the thought of him spanking her made her feel safe and Little. She also knew she deserved it for hiding the fact that she disliked eggs and especially for spitting them out on the table.

She nodded, "Yes, Daddy."