9. Sapphire

CHAPTER 9

Sapphire

W hy does this feel so hard? Why can’t I let go? I’ve only been here a couple days. I’ve only known him for less than twenty-four hours and yet…

It’s as if I’ve spent eternity by his side. Because I have.

But I have a duty. To my sisters and brother. I have to return to them. To share our Book with them so they can claim their heritage. To restore our family’s name and standing.

Which is why, despite everything fighting inside me, I walk through the invisible border. Frankly, I’m surprised She lets me through, but She does and I find myself blinded by light.

“What’s going on?” I shield my eyes and drop to my knees.

The light flickers slightly and it allows me to look at it only to realize it’s a person. A person made of light.

“Hello Sapphire,” she says and the strain on my face eases as does my breathing.

“Who-who are you?”

“I’m the secretive bitch,” she says.

The secretive?—

“You’re the spirit of Beastly Falls!”

The woman laughs.

“Sure am. I have to admit, your expletives have entertained me to no end the last few days.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell her and force myself to stand.

“Oh don’t be silly. I am a bit of a bitch sometimes. But that’s not why I’m here.”

I squeeze my eyes, try to make out the shape of her lips or the color of her eyes but it’s impossible. She doesn’t have a corporeal body. She’s just a spirit, an idea, an entity beyond imagination.

“Why-why are you here?”

“Because, Sapphire Nightingale, you have a choice to make.”

“A choice?”

I look around me, at the woods I walked when I got lost following the compass but nothing is moving. A bird is frozen mid-flight. A bunch of leaves stand still. It’s like time has stopped just for me. And the spirit of the town.

“Yes. A choice. There is a reason I let you into my town, you know. It’s because your mate is inside and he’s been waiting for you for a very long time.”

Asa.

Oh my sweet Asa.

The memory of him all solid and immovable on my bed, unable to say goodbye. Unable to give me one last taste of his lips.

I blink away the tears and focus on the spirit.

“I thought you let me in because Grams and the Book was there.”

“That too. It’s all very serendipitous.” She moves her head from side to side.

“What’s the choice? What do you want me to do?”

She joins her hands in front of her chest and even though I can’t make out her eyes I know she’s staring right at me.

“I see you’re leaving.”

“I need to.” I nod. “I need to return the Book to my family. To tell them Grams is alive and well. To restore our Nightingale name. We’ve suffered greatly in the last twenty years.”

“I know all about your troubles. I understand. Your family awaits you. But…so does your mate.”

“I don’t follow.”

“It’s simple, really. You can choose to go, to leave Beastly Falls and return home, unlock your sisters’ powers, become the great Nightingale witches once more…”

I can’t believe that’s even a possibility now. We’ve gone so long without the Book it’s hard to believe it’s back in our possession again. That I have my powers at long last.

“Or?” I ask, because there’s an or. I can see it a mile away and I can tell it’s going to tear me apart. But I have to hear it.

The spirit hums a smile.

“You’re an intuitive witch. I like you.”

“What’s the choice?” I’m getting impatient.

I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this. Not to make an impossible choice or to be toyed with as if my life is just a game.

“Or…you can walk back, reunite with your gargoyle mate and live a happily ever after with him.”

I knew it. And somehow it still sucks when I hear it.

“Why can’t I do both? Why can’t you let me return the Book and come back to him?”

“That’s not how it works, I’m afraid. That’s the choice. Leave and never return, let him suffer his own mateless fate, or go back to town and stay there for the rest of your life with your soulmate.”

I shake my head.

“Is this a game to you? Do you think this is funny?”

The spirit looks away, her light fading slightly.

“I know it’s not. I know it’s cruel. But if I’ve learned something, it’s that real love will make you sacrifice everything. Too bad real love isn’t real.”

“Bullshit. You know it is. All these people in there, they’ve built lives with their loved ones. They’ve made something of this terrible situation you’ve put them in. That’s real love.”

“No!” She says. “That’s not love. That’s dedication. Resolve. It’s what people do when they’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. But you and Asa? You’re the real deal. As real as it gets. True fated mates. One can’t live without the other, drawn to each other like a moth to a flame.”

“And you think it’s okay to do this to me? To us? To test us like that? You can resolve this curse, you can free these people.”

But she won’t.

Even though I can’t see her face I can hear the hurt in her voice. I can hear the disappointment, the sadness. She’s not a bad spirit, just a disillusioned one.

“I will. When they prove to me love is real. Now it’s your turn. Prove it to me. Make your choice.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. It should be simple. It should be easy. But it’s not.

I love my family. My mother, my father, my sisters, my brother, they’re my people. My coven. The only people I have in this world.

But I also know what my love for Asa can become, what it can blossom into.

For a second, I imagine what it’ll be like if I step back, I turn around and choose him. Choose my mate over my family.

I can build a family with him. We already have in a hundred different versions of our love story. They all flash before me, giving me whiplash with their intensity, making my heart ache with their tenderness.

I could have it all with him. A partner who loves, cherishes and protects me with his entire being. Children who make our joy multiply, who fill our lives with more happiness than any one person can take. A community around us who are there for one another, not because they don’t have a choice, but because they want to. It’s all so sweet and beautiful it leaves me breathless.

But then what about my family? What about home?

They’ll go on living life without me, worrying sick I’ve suffered the same fate as Grams, the search for the Book of Shadows consuming me whole. They’ll decide to move on away from home, everyone settling in a different part of the country, estranged from one another, broken-hearted.

That is unless…

Unless I take a step forward, leave this town behind, find my way back to them. I can share my gifts with them, unlock their powers, tell them how happy Grams is with her chosen partner. I can get a better job, one where I can help others and be of service, and I can meet someone, a human who’s interested in me and can love me. But no matter who I choose as a partner to share my life with, that void, that gap left by Asa’s absence will stay there forever. It will stop me from ever loving someone truly, and giving myself to them fully.

And what about Asa? What will happen to Asa?

My visions refocus into one single fate.

Cursed in stone forever after, never to take another step as a walking, breathing being.

A pang thrums in my chest and I fold in two, tears streaming down my face.

This can’t be. This is an impossible choice to make.

“I can’t,” I whisper, trying to control my tears. “I can’t.”

The spirit crouches down on the ground in front of me and cups my cheek. I can barely feel the skin but the warmth of her light reaches all the way to my heart.

“I’m sorry, Sapphire. But you have to make a choice.”

I shake my head, I refuse but it’s pointless. She won’t relent. She won’t back down. She’s making the rules and she ain’t breaking them.

I take a deep breath. Then another. And another. The more I take, the more clear it is. The more sure I am.

“I…I choose…him.”

I get up, turn my back on the spirit and my family and walk back into town.

“Are-are you sure?” the spirit asks me but I ignore her.

This is my choice. And I can’t live with myself knowing Asa will spend the rest of his life as a statue because of a decision I make. My family can live without me. They’ll survive. Maybe as a shell of themselves, but they will.

Asa on the other hand?

He doesn’t get to live unless I choose him.

So in a way the choice is easy. It’s the only one. I’ll find a way to return the book to my sisters. I’ll find a way to ensure my decision doesn’t alter their lives forever.

The light dies out and the quiet is replaced by the soft breeze, the cheerful chirping in the trees, and the beastly calls echoing in the woods. The spirit is gone. And I know one thing and one thing only.

I need to find him.

I need to find Asa.

So I do what any sane person would after choosing her mate.

I run. I run to him. Back through the streets of Beastly Falls, back to Red’s, back to the place we shared our first night together.

I approach the front porch when the door opens and I freeze in my tracks.

Asa walks out slowly, unsure of himself, but equally giddy with excitement.

“You came back!” he says and steps out and into the daylight.

He immediately stumbles back, covering his eyes like I was doing only moments ago but for entirely different reasons.

As he adjusts to the daylight he hasn’t witnessed in forever, I walk up to him, take him in my arms.

“I love you, Asa. I do.” I tell him and he immediately puts his hands down so he can look at me.

“I love you too, my Sapphire. More than anything in the world.”

“I love you more.” I nod.

Because I do.

It’s impossible not to. Not when every life I could live he’s there with me, making me happier than I could ever be without.

There’s only one life where I don’t have him and I left that behind the minute I chose him.

“I want to have a dream life with you, Asa,” I say. “Do you?”

He shakes his head.

“I wouldn’t dream of having it any other way,” he answers and kisses me again. And again and again and again, until the end of time.

Just like it’s meant to be.