Chapter 6: Will

Chapter 6: Will

It had only taken me mere minutes to gather that the pack’s designated alpha, Maurice, was just as Alexis had described him to me in the forest. He possessed no backbone nor any integrity. When he spoke, it was with the tongue of a politician. Every expression that was cast across his face was a carefully calculated one. Every move that he made oozed diplomacy.

When I woke up from my troubled sleep, Fred took me to meet the members of the pack at the bonfire. I could feel the warmth of emotions and happiness coming from the members of my pack. I could sense it in their embraces, their shaking of my hand, and their revering glances. But when Maurice addressed me, it was with a mirthless tone. His very words felt like the contractual language of a business negotiation.

And now, here he was when his authority was being questioned in the wake of his stupid decision to flee instead of fight, swinging a plank at a defenseless girl. I could not deny that there was something stronger and deeper at work that tugged at my heart to worry for Alexis. It was surely the bond that existed between us, as much as I tried to deny its existence.

Maurice behaved like a cheating rodent. He had struck me when my attention was occupied elsewhere. And just now, he had struck Alexis when her back was turned to him.

I could not allow him to strike her again. My reluctant mate or not, savior or not, this woman was a member of my pack, and I was not going to simply let someone abuse her like this.

I caught the plank on the upswing and threw it away. This caused Maurice to turn back and come face-to-face with me. He was seething with rage, but too bad for him, the fire of wrath that burned within me was far hotter.

“What kind of foul creature are you to strike a woman?” I roared as I grabbed Maurice by the neck and threw him into the stack of firewood. I felt like it was well-deserved.

Maurice appeared from behind the stack of firewood, not as his human self but as a wolf. He howled at me from atop the wood and jumped on me with his fangs bared and his claws extended.

I did not need to shift to take him down. I had known men like this back in Germany. They were fickle cowards, hiding behind their uniforms, toting the orders of their fascist leader as a symbol of false strength, never playing fair, and never fighting with honor.

I grabbed one of the pieces of firewood and swung it at an airborne Maurice, catching him in the midriff. He emitted a high-pitched yelp and crashed into one of the cottages. I ran after him, wood in hand. He clawed at me and tried to slash at my torso, but I gave him no quarter. I thrashed him to within an inch of his life with the thick piece of wood until it finally gave in and broke on his back.

Maurice yelped one last time and ran out through the commune doors, fleeing as he had always intended to do so.

With one imminent danger gone and only one more remaining, I attended to Alexis, who was struggling to get to her feet.

“Are you all right?” I asked, extending my hand to her.

“I think I might have a terrible concussion,” she said. She took my hand and hoisted herself to her feet. “Thanks…I mean, for saving me just now.”

“Would I be fair in saying that we’re even?” This was me trying to extend some softness to her after all the times I had been needlessly harsh to her. I knew that I had been rude and part of me wanted to apologize, but part of me—the part that had prompted me to lash out—had a sick control over me, not allowing me to tap into my kind self. Even as I tried to make amends, every time that I saw her, I could not help but see the woman that I had loved so long ago, the woman who had died while I was imprisoned. The woman, who, according to Fred, had taken Kenneth—my best friend—as her husband. The woman who died tragically during childbirth.

With each glimpse that I caught of Alexis, Ariana’s image danced before my eyes, making it a psychological struggle to behave normally with her. It did not help that I had bonded with her. It only made things all the more complicated.

“Will?”

“Oh. Pardon me. I was caught up in my own thoughts.”

“I was saying we don’t have any more time left. With Maurice gone, the pack’s gonna wanna look to someone for leadership. Help us fight off the vampires?” she asked.

I nodded, not possessing the will to reply to her after she had just spoken in a dialect and inflection that was eerily identical to Ariana’s. Her voice was toying with me mentally, making me agitated with each syllable that she uttered.

After what Fred had told me of Ariana’s life, how she had found love in the man who had been my best friend, how she had bonded with him a couple of months after my disappearance, and how they had lived happily for many years until, of course, she died during childbirth, I felt left out. As if I was a leaf plucked from a tree in the middle of its bloom, cast away to float alone in the air while the rest of the tree flourished and bore fruits. My absence did not prompt her to mourn. Instead, she resumed her life and lived it as fully as she could.

My cacophonous and intrusive thoughts halted when the commotion from beyond the commune grew to an uproar of vampire screams and wolfish howls. The battle had begun. I raced alongside Alexis, heading out the gates, ready to take part in the fight and protect the commune.

“Any idea why they are attacking us like this?” I asked.

“I bet it’s their notion of retribution for what we did to them yesterday in the forest,” Alexis replied. She did not speak anymore. Instead, she shifted almost seamlessly and jumped into the fray.

The food and rest had rejuvenated me. I could feel myself coming back to my full strength, ready for battle. I yearned to shift into my true form and show my enemies that the pack was not defenseless. That their alpha had returned.

And so, when I shifted, I shifted into the wolf that I used to be so long ago, the spectral beast that loomed larger than life, with claws that looked like daggers and fangs that resembled swords.

Upon seeing me shift, the wolves howled, and their resolve strengthened, helping them push against the wave of the vampires that were advancing up to the commune-like rodents.

I dove into the fight headfirst, tearing away limbs, rending flesh from bone, clawing off appendages, and beheading the vampires who had so brazenly thought that they could simply come up to my abode and attack my people with no consequences. Their audacity fueled my rage further, allowing me to take on an oncoming swarm of vampires with their weapons held in front of them.

I never allowed them to unleash gunfire on me. Swiftly, like a shadow, I swooped upon them, dismembering them with no mercy, ripping their weapons free from their grips with the brute strength of my bite.

Despite all my efforts and my relentless offense, gunfire roared from somewhere behind me. I had not braved the horrors of captivity to return to find more death in my path. I could not let my pack members die. I shot like a dart through the air and advanced to where the shooting was coming from.

My heart sank upon seeing the sight of a horde of vampires overpowering Alexis, cornering her, and aiming their rifles at her. It baffled me that no one from the pack was defending her or fighting by her side. I would have to teach the pack about how to fight alongside each other later.

Ever since I had laid eyes on their rifles, a part of me had wanted to try them myself. They were so elegant and sleek, these long guns with their black glossy look and their smooth barrel—nothing like the guns used in the Second World War. In place of wood, there was only metal.

I shifted into my human form once again and grabbed one of the rifles of the fallen vampires. The horde that surrounded Alexis was too dense in numbers for me to take them on in my wolf form.

And so, donning the identity of the soldier I once was, I cocked the rifle to my shoulder and aimed it at the vampires. I pulled the trigger, feeling the surge of the force with which this automatic rifle spat out bullets in flurries. I advanced upon the vampires and swung the rifle in an arc to catch every one of them with my gunfire. Even amidst the flash of the fire and the fleeing of the vampires, I could see that Alexis had ducked behind a sturdy cover, safe from the whizzing bullets.

The vampires were struck fatally, many of them falling dead as gunfire tore through their bodies, crushed their bones, and pierced their vital organs. They had expected docility. They did not know that I’d be here to defend what was rightfully my legacy.

As I did not know the reloading mechanism for this rifle, I threw it once the magazine was empty and picked up another one, keeping my aim true to catch the running vampires. When the last of them had either fled or died, I threw away the rifle and went to Alexis.

“Are you hurt?”

“I would have been if you hadn’t interceded,” she said, climbing from behind the cover of the metallic trellis.

“What were you doing taking on such a huge number by yourself?” I scolded her. “Do you have that little regard for your life?”

She cast me a hurt look before shifting into a wolf and joining the rest of the pack in battle. Except, well, there was no longer a battle anymore. It was now the vampires who were outnumbered and outwitted.

But this did not grant me any satisfaction. Had I not been here, had I not stepped up and taken charge, this would have been the end of the pack. Even now, as we were on the cusp of victory, I could see the fighting style of the wolves and was sorely disappointed. They had not been trained in the art of fighting, of battle. They were haphazard in their offense and clumsy in their defense.

I picked up one of the rifles, smattered across the floor, and shot a burst into the air. Upon seeing this, the vampires who had remained hissed miserably and began retreating.

The wolves chased them through the field, biting at their heels and clawing at their cloaks. I watched as the last of the vampires fled in the direction of Fiddler’s Cove. There would come a time, I thought to myself, when we’d go after them and fight them on their turf and drive them out once and for all, but it would not be right now. Right now, my pack was not ready for a confrontation of that nature. They had barely stood their ground during this fight.

It was not my lack of strength but that of my pack that made me feel inadequate. Their power had waned enough to make the vampires bold enough to attack our commune. Things were not as I had left them seventy-six years ago.

As the wolves started returning to the commune, shifting into their human forms, I wondered what Maurice had been doing with them. Had he not trained them at all? It was always the job of the alpha to teach the wolves the craft of battle, to strengthen them in both body and mind. And speaking of Maurice, where had he run off to? His behavior befitted that of a traitor, making me think that perhaps he was in cahoots with the vampires. Why else would he suggest fleeing? Why else would he flee instead of defending his home?

I headed inside the commune, back to where the bonfire was roaring, and awaited the return of my pack. When the last of them had poured in and had surrounded me, I finally spoke.

“This was a chance victory, nothing more. It could just as easily have been defeat. Not one of you was prepared for battle. Had I not interceded, had you let Maurice command you, you would have all run, you would have all let this place go to the vampires. The course of your life up till now has made you seem like a weak opponent in the eyes of your enemies. Those vampires would have never attacked you had they known that the Grimm pack was not one to be trifled with. I implore you all to see reason. To understand that the strength of the pack lies in their ability to fight together as a team to defend each other. Out there on the battlefield, I saw barely any teamwork. There was no order to your fighting. You are not trained as I had expected you to be trained,” I said, my ears growing hotter with each word, my voice raising gradually.

“Will you lead us, then?” a voice rose from the crowd around me.

“I would take the mantle of alpha as it once belonged to me and swear to every one of you that I shall strive to strengthen you into the formidable werewolves that I know you can be. The world shall know before long that the Grimms are fierce wolves. Tonight, we defended ourselves. That’s a start. But we have an uphill climb to go from here. I believe it is fate that has brought me back to my kin, and I believe that fate has a plan for each one of us,” I said.

“Hear, hear, then!” A voice rose from the crowd. “To Wilhelm Grimm, the new alpha of the pack!”

There was immense silence for a brief moment, followed by an uproar of affirmations and chants of “Yes!” and “Aye!” that rang through the night.

As I was climbing down from the footstool, Alexis approached me from the crowd. Even though she hadn’t spoken to me yet, I already anticipated a talk coming. However, I was not in a mental state to have the kind of talk that she wanted to have.

“Can I have a word?” Alexis asked.

There it was again, that sick, alien impulse that gripped me every time Alexis was near me. This sadistic urge to inflict emotional damage on her for being who she was. I tried to hold it back, to appear peaceful, but the longer she stayed around me, the harder it got for me to hold my violent impulse back.

“What do you want?” I asked in a stony voice.

“I just wanted to clear the air between us,” she said, holding her hands together defensively. There was optimism in her eyes. Her expressions were sincere in their intensity.

The women and children were coming out of the barn and integrating with the rest of the pack. The wives were tending to their injured husbands, the kids were hugging their fathers, and the rest just stood there as the men informed them that I had been made alpha. The entire pack was here.

“There’s nothing to clear,” I replied, trying to keep the curtness out of my tone, but it was a futile effort. Her lingering presence was a constant reminder of my loss.

“We are bonded together, Wilhelm. Does that mean nothing to you? I wasn’t expecting it either, but ever since we’ve bonded, it has meant something to me. I feel something in my heart for you. Call it care, devotion, adoration, the bond at work, or whatever else you will, but there’s something between us, and I want you to acknowledge it. Also, while we’re on the subject of acknowledgments, I want you to acknowledge that you’ve been harsh to me on multiple occasions. I did not deserve it,” she said.

“Do not talk to me of deserving. I did not deserve to be imprisoned, experimented upon, tortured, and set free when all I had known was lost. I did not deserve to waste away in prison while the woman that I loved married someone else, birthed a child, and then died. There’s no turning the clocks back. What’s lost is lost!” The rage I had kept under control was erupting and taking control of me. My voice was raised enough to draw the attention of everyone around me.

“But…” Alexis pleaded.

“I do not question the intricate pattern of fate except in this case,” I said, my voice almost a scream. “It is a mistake that we are bonded together. It is a lie—a mirage. I do not accept this bond. I do not recognize you as my mate. I reject the existence of the tether that you think ties us!” With each word I inflicted irreparable emotional damage, I felt the surge of a sick pleasure within me. Sick because, in my heart, I could feel the pain that she was feeling. Pleasure because, as depraved as it was, another part of me reveled in hurting her.

The pack was completely silent except for a few faint whisperings in the back, no doubt discussing what was happening in front of their eyes.

“There is no love that exists between us. As far as I am concerned, nothing does. So don’t try to reason with me or appeal to my better nature!” This was the final thing I yelled at her before she ran away, whimpering, covering her eyes with her forearm.

Was this me? Was this cruel, deviated trait an integral part of my personality now? Is this what Edward Beckett meant when he uttered his dying words? That I won’t ever truly be free after what he had done to me? Had he mutated my psyche with his experiments?

I cared not for these questions except for the fact that they resounded in some small part of my mind, a minute chamber somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain that felt that I had been brutal to Alexis. Or perhaps it was deep within my heart that I felt bad for behaving with her this way.

What other choice did I have? The girl sought no propriety, did not take into account the tumultuous ordeals I had been through, and was not able to conceive that I was thrust into the role of leadership of a pack that had grown weak as a result of a soft alpha. All she wanted from me was to reciprocate whatever she was feeling, accept her as my mate, and God knows what else.

How was I to even take her as my mate when I barely felt adequate to lead a lost pack in the face of grave dangers surrounding us from all sides? How was I supposed to just get over the death of Ariana, which I had just found out not more than a day ago? Did I not deserve time to grieve? Time to adjust?

I made no effort to go after her nor gave any order to the pack to stop her in her tracks. If she wanted to leave, so be it. I was done with her anyway.

“From tomorrow,” I said, returning my attention to the stunned crowd. “All able-bodied Grimms, whether man, child, or woman, will assemble in the training grounds. That’s an order. You need to prepare for the threats that you face.”

They murmured and nodded. That was all they did. And now, when my anger had subsided, I felt hatred for myself for what I had just done right in front of the entire pack. They looked to me not as they had done earlier tonight when I was telling them of my plight. No. There was no pity in their eyes. No adoration.

They were all scared.