7. Mia

It felt like a normal day. Better than normal, I guess.

When I woke up, I still smelled like Zander and sulfur. I didn’t want to wash the smell of him from my skin, but… I did also smell kind of bad.

In the shower, my mind replayed all of the highlights from the night before. And there were a lot of them.

Zander. Pretty much everything about him was… perfect. Flawless.

I can’t wait to get him naked again. And, more specifically, inside me.

While I wouldn’t say I’m a particularly sexual person, I am definitely more interested in Zander than I’ve been in any man in a long, long time.

And, I realize as I’m hopping in the car to go to get some groceries, I’m not really sure what the boundary is anymore between our fake relationship… and what’s real.

The thought makes me grip the steering wheel tightly. Zander whispered something to me right before I fell asleep that’s still ringing in my ears.

I want my girlfriend to come like that every time.

The phrasing is kind of a joke between us now, I guess. Saying, “I’d want my partner to do this” seemed, originally, like a fun way to tease each other.

But now…. It seems like a lot more.

Does that mean that he wants me to be his real girlfriend?

Two thoughts occur simultaneously in my mind. First, elation. I would be more than happy to be Zander’s real girlfriend, and the thought of it makes me feel like my chest is flying. Like I’m soaring.

The second, however, is crushing reality.

I can’t actually date Zander. He’s Zander Black. Last of a very long line of wolves, who have just as much, if not more, of a sterling reputation in the Oakwood pack than the actual alpha himself.

There’s no way that Zander would actually want me.

I’m… me.

I’m a fox shifter who walked into his perfectly made pack and blew the whole thing up. I’m not particularly smart or polished like the women he regularly interacts with…

My mind jumps to Terra.

That’s who he should be with. That’s who his ‘real’ girlfriend probably is. Not me. I’m just someone to have fun with for a while.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, either. Fun is fun.

I definitely had fun.

I throw my shoulders back and continue to drive toward the store. I’m fine. I’m going to make homemade pizza, a crowd favorite, for dinner. The kids will all be happy, and Zander will enjoy it, too. I wish I had a phone so I could text him and ask him what kind of toppings he likes…

As I pass the street that leads to the hardware store, a familiar truck catches my eye.

I grin. I can ask him myself.

Turning the car up at the next block, I circle back, turning right again so that I can cruise by the store and park. Oakwood is a small town, and everything is laid out on a pretty perfect grid, so it’s easy to see down streets and figure out who is there.

I’m kind of happy about that at the moment.

I put the car in park. I’ll just hop in and see Zander. Give him a quick hug and ask about pizza toppings. I open the door when I hear his voice…

And someone else’s.

My heart clenches.

I shut the door, then turn the car on. I’m a couple of spots down from where his truck is parked, so I need to circle the block again to see who he’s talking to.

Doubt creeps over me. I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t go stalk him like I have some kind of hold on him. He’s not cheating on me. He’s not talking to someone in an inappropriate way…

Because we were never together.

It’s fake.

My eyes burn. I consider just turning around, but there’s a car behind me.

So, I creep forward.

I’m in yet another borrowed car from the pack, so there’s no risk of him noticing me. Still, I keep as low of a profile as possible, only turning my head at the last second.

Only to see Terra. Holding Zander’s hand.

I would slam on the gas and speed away, but this is Oakwood, not L.A. I crawl at an appropriate speed to the stop sign, where I keep going straight. I drive until I hit the town limits. I turn on the gravel road that leads to our little set of cabins. I make it almost the whole way home, and then I pull over.

Finally, I let out the tears that have been swimming in my eyes since I left.

I cry. Not a little cry, either. Big, racking sobs. I shake. This is an ugly cry, and I know it.

I’m sure when Terra cries, it’s pretty. Dainty, maybe. Elegant, definitely.

Not me.

This is a nightmare. And it’s my nightmare.

I have nothing to blow my nose with in this car. I do my best to fix myself up, but I can’t see, I can barely breathe, and my head is pounding.

This was the point, Mia.

I wanted this. I signed up for it, even if I didn’t exactly plan for it. The vision was that the foxes would be more accepted in the pack, and Zander would get Terra. I could have sworn when I met her that she wasn’t interested in him. That she was hung up on whoever Zander had given her a weird look about. She hadn’t been interested in him.

I guess she changed her mind.

Well. Mission accomplished. Cue the aircraft carriers and the parade.

Now, I just need to…

I freeze.

Need to what?

I have nothing else to do. I’m a farmer with no farm. I’m a fox with no parents, a shifter with no family, only a hodgepodge of traumatized children and elders who barely made it out alive. All I have is that stupid appeal.

Unless…

My fingers tighten on the steering wheel.

It’s a seven-hour drive to New Mexico. Seven hours and forty-five minutes to where there’s a safe, buried underground, containing water rights for a property that’s as ancient as the pueblos around it.

I would be stealing the Oakwood pack’s car to do it.

Not stealing. I’d bring it back, of course. With a certain set of documents inside.

I look down at my clothes. I should probably get something a little more… appropriate before I go.

I put the car in drive and pull out into the road again.

The leash has nothing. We just needed a place to go. We just needed a place to stay.

But with my plan? We’ll finally have a home.