5. Mia

The memory of that kiss haunts me.

Zander and the alpha and beta go out to patrol. I say goodnight to Iris and Briony. I drive home. I take over for Josh, who spent the night looking after the kids. My body goes through their bedtime routine easily.

But my brain is stuck on the kiss.

I swear I can feel his lips on mine still. Zander kissed me like I was… important. Like he couldn’t stop. And I’m a little ashamed to say it, but… I couldn’t stop, either.

Now, lying in my bed, I press my hand to my mouth.

Zander kisses like a freaking god.

Like… that shouldn’t be allowed. It should be a crime to kiss like that.

If that’s the case, though… I’ll go to jail any day of the week.

I’ve never been kissed like that.

I’ve been kissed. A couple of times. But after my mom died, I wasn’t really interested in dating anyone. I’ve got six years before it becomes a problem.

But that kiss…

I shudder, then pull my blanket up to my chin. Lana’s snoring from the other room eventually drowns out any thoughts I have about Zander.

Then, I hear a small voice. “Mia?”

“Yes, Lana?”

“AJ threw up.”

I sigh.

No matter what, I accept that I won’t be sleeping tonight. Might as well be productive.

The next morning,I need all the coffee I can get. After the kids get to school, I head home.

There’s a letter on the porch. From the Bureau.

I snatch it and open it quickly. My eyes scan the document. We regret to…

“What’s that?”

Zander’s voice makes me jump. I hide the letter, crumpling it in my hand. “Nothing.”

“Mia. Did I see the Supernatural Bureau’s stamp on it?”

“No.”

He sighs. “Please don’t lie to me,” Zander says softly. “I don’t really feel like I deserve it, and if you’re in some kind of trouble…”

“I’m not,” I say quickly.

“Okay. So. Spill.”

I eye him warily. “Do you promise you won’t tell Thorne?”

“No,” he answers. “Because Thorne is my alpha. If it threatens the safety of the pack, I have to.”

I don’t think it does. I wrinkle my nose. “What if it makes life in the pack easier?”

“Mia. What are you talking about?”

I sigh. I hold out the letter to him. “I’ve been trying to appeal the decision about our leash and the land we used to live on.”

He scans it, then turns to me. “I don’t need to know why. It makes sense. But what happened?”

“It’s not for the reason you think,” I say softly. “There’s… something on the land. Buried. In a safe. I want the document, so that I can force the mountain lions to pay us. Through the human courts.”

“Mia…”

“I know. It’s dangerous. But… I hate this.” I gesture to the houses. “I hate that we had to beg Thorne to take us in. I hate that we have to prove ourselves to people who hate us, for no reason other than we’re outsiders. I want to give my leash something tangible, so we don’t have to feel threatened anymore. We had to leave our farms there. We had to leave all of our lives. We had to leave… the people who died,” I whisper.

The tears in my eyes are burning.

“I don’t want to have to rely on someone else ever again,” I finish.

I can’t keep the tears from falling. One by one, they trickle down my cheeks. Until a warm thumb wipes them away.

“That makes sense, Mia,” Zander murmurs. “Whatever’s there, it sounds valuable. Whatever the lions did to you… it’s not right,” he adds.

“It was so bad,” I cry.

I don’t think I’ve cried about that night, ever since it happened. I don’t think I’ve spent any time thinking about the way they came after us in the middle of the night. The way they forced my dad’s signature, then…

I squeeze my eyes shut.

Zander’s arms fold around me. I lean into him.

And I sob.

It feels like forever. I’m a different person when the tears stop, and I look up at him.

He’s looking down at me with a little smile on his lips. “I bet that felt good.”

I nod.

“You keep everything together for your family, Mia. You’re a heck of a leader, despite the fact that you’re not the alpha. If you want to find another resource for your leash, I want to help.”

“Zander…”

“I will, Mia. Whatever it takes. We’ll figure it out,” he murmurs.

We.

I want to melt into those words. Into his arms.

It’s a fantastic feeling.

We spend the rest of the day going over my appeal. Zander has some helpful thoughts, and he says he knows the wolf delegate to the Bureaucracy. He says he’ll reach out.

The whole time, I’m flabbergasted. Zander is being so helpful. Thoughtful. Kind.

The kids come home from school, and we’re about to make dinner when Zander’s phone rings. He picks it up, holding AJ in one hand, the phone in the other.

I see the moment when his face falls.

“Sounds good,” he says into the phone. He hands AJ to me, and I take him. AJ wiggles out of my hands, ready to crawl away. He’ll be walking any day now.

I watch him go before turning back to Zander. “What is it?”

He sighs. “It’s your brother.”

From there on out, panic is the only thing I feel.

We takeZander’s truck down to the pack headquarters. Zander barely puts the truck in park before I’m flying out.

Inside the building, there are a bunch of people milling around a huddled group. I recognize one of the figures on the bench in the middle of the room.

Josh.

He and the other teenage wolves are sitting in handcuffs. Handcuffs.

The sight makes my chest feel like there’s a thousand-pound weight sitting on it.

When Josh sees me, his face falls.

Yeah. You’re in trouble now.

“What’s happening here?” Zander asks in his deepest voice.

One of the other enforcers, a woman named Kate, nods at them. “Caught them about five seconds before the human cops showed up.”

“Doing what?” I demand as each kid’s respective parents arrive to collect them. Another enforcer unclicks the cuffs, the smell of silver making my nose itch.

They used silver cuffs. On my brother.

“Graffiti. There’s a building with some new art,” the first enforcer says with heavy sarcasm.

“We’ll take it from here, Kate,” Zander rumbles. Kate unlocks Josh’s cuffs. He glares at Zander but shrivels as Zander cuts him a pretty nasty glare right back.

Part of me wants to jump between them. Smooth the situation over, so there’s no conflict.

But Josh had handcuffs on. I never want to see that again.

I put my hand on his shoulder, and I’m about to lead him away when one of the wolves’ father steps in front of us. “They said it was the fox’s fault.”

“Excuse me?”

“My son.” He waves at a very smug looking juvenile wolf. “He said it was the fox who told them to do it.”

“No, I didn’t,” Josh says.

“Whatever. Don’t lie,” the teen wolf snarls.

“My son would never do anything like this,” the wolf dad says in a too-loud voice.

“Dave. We don’t know what happened. I’m sure none of these kids were thinking right,” Zander snarls.

The wolf dad’s eyes flash. “Oh, just because you’re sleeping with one of them, you’re on their side?”

Zander moves.

He puffs up to his full height, and energy seems to crackle around his shoulders. “You’re questioning me, David?”

A low rumble emanates from his chest.

The other wolf looks away. “No,” he says sullenly.

“Evander and I will do an investigation. We’ll figure out what happened, and then the appropriate pack laws will be applied. To all of the offenders,” Zander says firmly.

The wolf father shoots me a dirty glare, then walks away.

Everyone dissipates, leaving Josh, Zander, and me.

Zander looks at Josh. “Let’s go.”

“Just because you’re dating my sister doesn’t make you my dad,” Josh says, pouting.

“No,” Zander says calmly. “It doesn’t. But I’ve dealt with shithead teenage wolves for a long time. I’m not trying to be anyone’s dad. I am trying to make sure that your actions don’t reflect poorly on your sister and the kids who count on both of you,” he adds.

Josh has the good sense to look a little chastised.

“Let’s go. We can talk later,” Zander says.

With one last pout, Josh gets in Zander’s truck. I follow.

My mind is still stuck on the way Zander defended me. Defended us.

I’m so used to being the only one fighting for my leash. For my family.

Seeing Zander do it…

My cheeks flush.

I liked it. A lot.

Josh choosesto go pout when we get home. I get out of the truck and go to follow, but Zander’s hand on my wrist stops me.

“Let him go,” he says softly. “There’s no point in talking to him right now. He just wants to be mad for a while.”

“And you know my brother?”

“I know teenage boys with chips on their shoulders,” he says with that little lip curl that I’m getting way too attached to.

I sigh. “Josh wasn’t like this. Not until our dad died.”

“Yeah. I get that, too.”

“Really?”

“My parents were hit by a car when I was fifteen.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry,” I say. “My mom died around the same time, and my dad… It’s more recent.”

“Hell of a thing to have in common,” he says with another curl of his lips.

“Yeah. Definitely would rather not be a member of that club.”

“Me too, Mia. Me fucking too.”

A light breeze ruffles my hair. His nose twitches slightly, and his eyes… go dark. He licks his lips, and my stomach heats.

“I should probably go inside,” I murmur.

Zander nods. “You could. Or…”

“Or?”

“Do you want to go for a run with me?”

I blink. “Now?”

He smiles. “I want to show you something.”

I hesitate. I should really go back inside. The kids need to go to bed. Josh is still sulking. I… I really, really don’t want to do that.

“Mia,” Zander says. “They’ll be fine. There are elders in there, and Josh is there. We aren’t going too far. Just to the edge of the pack lands. We will be back.”

I take a breath. “Okay,” I whisper.

The smile that Zander gives me this time is heart-meltingly beautiful.

I take off my clothes behind the cabin and shift into my fox. I trot back out and sniff for Zander. He’s right in front of me.

As a wolf, he’s beautiful. His fur is a mix of blacks, whites, and greys, almost in a brindle pattern. He tilts what I know to be steel-blue eyes at me, and then turns.

I follow him into the woods.

I haven’t been a fox in so long. Everyone else takes turns shifting, but I always offer to stay back. Being on four legs feels… wonderful. Freeing.

I love it.

The forest is alive with sights and smells and sounds. I can hear every small animal scurry away from me. I can hear every rodent squeak and shriek as we run by.

Eventually, a weird smell crosses my nose. I snort. It smells… sulfuric.

When we stop, I see why.

Zander brought me to a little hot spring.

I creep down, following him as he picks a path down the steep hill to the spring. There’s a river right next to it, and the combination of the cool-smelling water and the hot spring is fascinating.

Zander shifts. I turn my head away from his naked body, but not before I get a glimpse of a hard chest. And a little more.

“You can come in,” he murmurs. “I won’t look, and the water is pretty dark.”

Do I trust him?

He shuts his eyes and turns away, and I decide that I do. If I trust him with the water rights, I can be naked in front of him.

The two things, however, do feel very different.

I shift and step into the pool. “You can open your eyes now,” I mumble.

“I was prepared to keep them very much closed,” Zander says with a little laugh.

“It’s okay. I trust you,” I say.

Zander’s eyes pop open. “You do?”

“I kind of shared my biggest secret with you. Plus, I’d want to be able to trust my boyfriend.” I smile at him.

Except it doesn’t feel like I’m describing something fake.

Zander puts his head back. “I found this when I was out on patrol. Not that it was hard. Stinks for miles.”

“I know. I noticed that.”

“Still. It’s relaxing,” he sighs.

I let my hand play in the water. “This is the type of stuff the pack could make a ton of money on,” I say idly.

“Stinky water?”

“Yeah. People love this stuff. Pitch it as a health retreat and boom. You’ve got a business.”

“Interesting. What makes you think of that?”

I lean my head back as well. “Water rights. They’re such a big thing out here. There’s a whole resort near us in Santa Fe that did that. Made a destination out of some hot water in the middle of the desert.”

“I’ll have to tell Thorne,” he says. Reluctantly.

I grin. “Or not.”

“I think maybe for now, I’d like this secret to just stay between us.”

“We have a lot of those now.”

“What?” he says. I can hear the water slosh, and then he’s sitting next to me.

I’m acutely aware that Zander and I are naked. Sulfur water aside…

I gulp. “Secrets.”

“Can I tell you another one?”

His voice is husky, and it makes my thighs clench. “Yes.”

“I can’t stop thinking about that kiss,” he murmurs.

My eyes snap open.

Zander is two inches from my face. He’s staring at me, his face dead serious.

I could lie. Say that I thought it was fake.

Or…

“Me neither.”

I see the moment Zander’s body floods with lust. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips.

“Would you let me kiss you again?” he whispers.

Is it real?

No. I can’t ask that. This whole fake relationship has gone to my head. We aren’t in one.

We’re just two people. In a secret hot spring. Who can’t stop thinking about a kiss.

“Yes,” I murmur.

Zander is on me before my lips stop moving. Hungrily, he slants his mouth over mine.

I meet him, kiss for kiss. Touch for touch.

Then we’re moving. He scoops his hands up under my thighs and propels me out of the water. Moments later, we’re on the bank, my back on soft moss.

I grin at Zander, then press him back. He lets me. From this angle, I’m straddling him, and he’s looking at me like…

Like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

I’m poised over him, his thick length pressing at me. His lips find my neck, and I arch as his hands cup my breast.

“Mia…” he whispers.

I need him.

Slowly, I lower myself onto him. “Zander,” I gasp. “You’re…”

“Just keep going, Mia,” he whispers. “You’re taking my cock so well, baby.”

Oh. That works for me.

His murmured praise makes me even wetter. I slide down, and we both gasp when he’s seated inside me.

“Can you move for me, Mia?” he whispers.

I do.

Zander’s hands trace the outside of my hips as I slowly take him in and out of me. My thighs are burning with effort as I control the pace.

“I need you to go faster, baby,” he growls.

I do.

His hands grip me as I move, and his hips meet me, thrust for thrust. I gasp as I start to feel the beginning of an orgasm tug at my belly. “Zander…”

“I know. Whenever you’re ready, Mia,” he whispers.

His hand slides to my clit. I don’t last long.

When I come, it’s like a nuclear blast in my body. Every single one of my nerves lights up. I cry out. I can hear colors. The night sky above us seems to glow.

This is not a regular orgasm.

I flop over him, unable to move. Zander pumps up into me two more times before he gasps my name.

I’m still seeing stars when he gathers me close. Presses a kiss on my lips. And holds me.

The moss is soft. Zander’s body is warm. I shut my eyes, ready to doze off for a second.

“I want my girlfriend to come like that every time,” he murmurs.

I try to laugh. I really do.

But I’m just too relaxed. Too… calm.

Wrapped in Zander’s arms, I do something that I haven’t done in a long, long time.

I rest.