Chapter 8

As much as I sympathize with your circumstances, I am forced to consider the precarious nature of my own position in the intricate web of societal expectations.

That was all Violet could think about as William offered her a life line. He wanted to help her, to assist her with finding a husband… as if this whole mess was not embarrassing enough.

She was not going to have this man help her, not when a professional match maker had already let her down.

It was starting to really feel like an impossible task, and the last thing she wanted was for William to see how pathetic she was.

"I do not need help," she snapped, perhaps a little too aggressively but she wanted William to back off before he ended up saying something stupid. "I am doing just fine, thank you very much. I might not have any prospects at the moment, but I still have time. Plenty of time."

Time was whizzing past faster than she wanted to think about, but anything to keep William away from her little mission was quite fine by her. She did not need him to parade friends he might think were suitable and might want to marry someone in her pitiful position, just for them all to reject her because she did not have anything to offer.

She might have only been twenty years old, so she was not quite considered a spinster as yet, but without a hefty dowry it was going to be very challenging to find anyone who wanted to be her husband. Violet had been relying so heavily on the idea that the match maker would find someone for her that now she did not know what to do.

She felt lost, like she was floating out in the middle of the ocean somewhere, and there was no one there to save her. She could not see land as hard as she tried to find it, which meant she could not even save herself. She was trapped in this nightmare.

"Well, the offer is always there,"William continued, not taking offense to her tone at all. "I will help you if you require it. Whatever you need me to do."

"Because of your investment," she repeated again. Violet was not sure that she would ever be able to forget that line, it made her feel like a commodity, not a human being.

"Not just because of my investment," William confessed, much to Violet"s surprise. "But because you have done nothing to deserve this fate. That is all there is to it. I am sure you should not be struggling to find a man who wants you as his wife."

Violet scoffed. That could not be further from the truth. Men did not look for a wife with great interests. They wanted a woman with a great reputation and a sizable dowry who could provide them with children, to complete the life that they were expected by the ton to live.

"I am sure your brother could help, if you do not want me."

Violet rolled her eyes and continued to pace up and down the room, because she needed to move. Standing still was almost impossible for her. especially with all of these emotions ricocheting through her. First the letter, and its stinging rejection, then William and all of the complicated things he had said to her today.

She had been trying to keep her distance ever since the almost moment in the hallway, which made being this close to William that much more intense and overwhelming. Keeping her feet going was just another way not to settle too heavily on that feeling.

"Paul is off doing his own thing, William, I have already told you as much."

"I am sure he has your bets interests at heart."

All Violet could do was shake her head. "You know Paul. He is only ever thinking of himself. I am sure he is out there somewhere making things worse for us. He is likely throwing money that we do not have at some card game he will never win. And for what? For a cheap thrill? Is that what is it? I do not understand the fascination with gambling. I will never understand it. The way that it tears people apart is just dreadful…"

Oh God, now she was starting to feel sorry for herself. That was not what she wanted to feel in front of William. Certainly not in the midst of this very charged conversation. She just wished he had not approached her now while she was in such a mess over the letter.

"It does not matter." She waved her hand dismissively. "I do not need help. I am fine."

Whether that was true or not, it did not matter. The men in her life had already caused her enough issues. If she was going to deal with this, then she would do it alone. Perhaps there was another way. She did not need match makers and introductions. There had to be another way…

"This is not something I talk about," William started in a soft tone of voice, unlike anything she had ever heard from him before. "But your family is not the only one to have been destroyed by gambling. Perhaps I never suffered as much as you, but my father also threw a lot of the family fortune away with gambling."

Violet stared at him in utter shock. "But… you were gambling," she gasped. "The night that you won our home. You were gambling too. How could you do that when you know the damage that it can cause? I would never be able to…"

It almost knocked the air right out of her lungs. She struggled to understand why Paul did it, but he was never around to see the devastation caused by their father"s habit. He had no idea how bad the family finances were until he was far too deep in to his addiction.

But William… she could not understand him at all.

She thought that he was smarter than that, that he was more switched on, but it seemed like he was always destined to be surrounded by men who were weak to that habit. She was never going to escape it.

"Sometimes," he murmured in a surprisingly low and gravelly tone which immediately caught Violet"s attention. "Men find things that are worth risking everything for."

She had a feeling that they were not talking about gambling anymore. Especially as William was walking towards her with dark flames of desire flickering in his eyes. It was happening again, they were drawing nearer to one another once more, and there did not seem to be any way that they could resist it.

Violet knew that this was wrong, and she was certain that William was more than aware as well. But that was not about to stop him. They had just been talking about how she needed to find herself a husband quickly. He had even been offering to help her.

But the look in his eye now was not a man who wanted to offer his assistance.

"William," she whispered, but he continued to walk. All she could do was watch him with wide surprised eyes.

"Violet."

He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, causing Violet to forget absolutely everything. Her brain went blank as he kept his hand on her cheek. Violet"s heart was absolutely thundering against her rib cage. She feared it might break free from her body at any given moment, but that did not seem to bother William. Nor was he concerned about the fact that she could not catch her breath.

He was looking at her in a way that she had never been examined before. As if she was the most beautiful woman in the world. That was utterly intoxicating. Violet could not resist now. A little part of her wanted someone to call out to her again, to interrupt this moment before she allowed herself to get carried away another time. But the much bigger part of her wanted to succumb to the palpable temptation and to do what she should not.

She had always been a good girl, she had always done what was expected of her, and it had not really gotten her anywhere. She had been controlled by the whims of other people, her life had been dictated by the decisions of her family members and their foolish mistakes.

So why not allow herself to be bad just for one moment?

Violet rose up on to her tip toes as the warmth of William"s breath tickled her lips. She was shivering, trembling all over with nerves and desire.

There was a need she did not even know she could feel until this very moment, but now it was all consuming her. How had she managed to live in a house with this handsome, magnetic man and not succumb before now? It felt impossible now that she was here in his arms.

William rested his forehead on Violet"s looking in to her eyes with an intensity that made her weak at the knees. She almost could not stand the anticipation any longer…

Then it happened.

William crushed his lips to hers and he kissed her with a fire that definitely would have knocked her off her feet if he had not had his arm around her waist, making sure she did not tumble.

It also allowed him to deepen the kiss with ease. To invade her mouth with his tongue which was a really surprising sensation for Violet. Not something that she ever could have prepared for or expected, but that she very much enjoyed. So much so that she hooked her arms around the back of his neck to ensure that he could not move.

He clutched her to him.

His hands wandered over her waist until he cupped her pert behind.

Violet was lost in desire, absolutely drowning with need. She did not want this moment to end.

In fact, she wanted it to continue.

She had never spent much time thinking about the day when a man finally undid her dress to explore the milky flesh underneath, but the throbbing between her thighs yearned for William to take control.

She wanted him to ruin her, in ways she could not even begin to imagine yet.

William pulled back a little with a soft smile playing on his lips. He looked like he had a lot he wanted to say, but Violet was not sure if she could stand to hear it. Not right now. Her head was all over the place and spinning faster by the second.

Much as it felt absolutely intoxicating, she knew it could not continue.

"I think… I think I should…" she stammered as she stepped backwards in an attempt to create some much needed distance between herself and William. "I have a lot that I need to do, so…"

William nodded understandingly, but he did not stop smiling at her.

That slightly lop sided, cheeky smile was delicious. The most gorgeous expression that Violet had ever been lucky enough to see. It was so hard for her to walk away from him, but she knew that was exactly what she needed to do. Especially now.

How on earth was she ever going to find a man to marry if she kept behaving like this? Now it was not Paul making her life more difficult. She was doing it to herself.