Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

M s. Crawford set a basket of fruit down on the drawing room’s table, directly in front of Alicia. The duchess jumped, pulled out of her daydreaming. The morning light streamed into the room and lit up the bountiful basket. Alicia leaned forward, smelling the sweetness and floral notes.

“What’s all this, Ms. Crawford?” Alicia asked.

“If you had been paying attention, Your Grace,” the housekeeper said with a lifted brow, “you’d know it was the local tailor’s token of appreciation for ordering new curtains from them. I told you all about it over breakfast. It’s only been an hour.” Ms. Crawford took a seat across from Alicia. “Where has your mind been as of late?”

“The same place it’s always been,” she muttered. “Forgive my forgetfulness, Ms. Crawford. I fear I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Might I call the physician for you?”

“Oh, no,” Alicia reassured her, “it is nowhere near an issue that grand. My mind races too much for my own good.”

Ms. Crawford flattened her skirts. “Does this have to do with the garden incident?”

“I wish you wouldn’t call it that.”

The housekeeper smirked. “Your Grace, it was Renfield’s doing. You know he’s?—”

“A gossip, yes, so I’ve heard.”

“In all the excitement, did you manage at all to bring up the ball again?”

Alicia shook her head. “Of course not. He was far too angry to hear any of it.” She held her chin up proudly. “And I already came to the conclusion that it will be happening whether he likes it or not.”

“Right,” Ms. Crawford drawled. “He is only the lord of the house. We wouldn’t need his permission at all.”

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm,” Alicia snapped.

Ms. Crawford bowed her head, turning her attention to the papers displayed across the table. “Well,” she began, “if you are going to insist upon it, the food has been decided.”

“Mrs. Barker will make an assortment of meat pies,” Alicia said, “and we’ll have salmon, if the lakes are successful. Cakes will follow with teas and coffee.”

Ms. Crawford passed a paper across the table to the duchess. “I believe the import of sweet Madeira wine will arrive before then.”

Alicia looked over the form. “Very good, Ms. Crawford. See that it is collected as soon as possible.”

“Yes, Your Grace,” the housekeeper said. “And I suppose you are done with furnishing?”

“There isn’t much I feel comfortable changing.”

“It is your manor to run, Your Grace,” she said. “As the duchess, you are the one who decides how it looks.”

“I understand that,” Alicia said.

“Then what is it?”

Alicia met the housekeeper’s aging eyes. “It is the look the duke gives me whenever I do something of which he does not approve.”

The housekeeper frowned at her in a pitiful way.

“It is the venom that drips from his words when I do not live up to his standards,” she said with a sigh. “If I am to be a stranger in his home for the rest of our union, then I will not change a thing.”

“That seems rather petty, Your Grace.”

“It does,” she mused, “doesn’t it?”

Ms. Crawford watched her. “What happened to wanting things to change for Lady Lucy?”

“I tried, Ms. Crawford. Renfield can gossip all he wants about that night in the garden,” she said, “but he will never get it right. I tried to reason with the duke. I have tried and tried again to ask him to open up to me, to trust me, and he has refused. What else can I do for her that won’t make matters worse?”

The housekeeper sighed. “I would be lying if I told you I knew what to do, Your Grace.”

“You could tell me.”

“I just said?—”

“Not what to do, Ms. Crawford,” Alicia muttered. “You can tell me the truth of Garvey. The secrets that have made the duke such a closed off man. That is what you can do to help me.”

“That is not my story to tell.”

Alicia sighed. “Then I don’t know what else there is for me to do.”

“There is no mother for Lady Lucy, Your Grace,” Ms. Crawford softly said. “Can you imagine doing all this without one?”

“No,” she whispered, “I cannot.”

“Do not fracture the bond you have already forged with the young lady,” she said.

Alicia scoffed. “I am in no way the girl’s mother.”

“I know this, but you can at least be that kind of a figure for her. Why would you let your troubles with the duke disrupt the growth of this young lady?”

Alicia exhaled, lowering her head into her hands. “Because I can’t stop thinking of him,” she whispered.

“I can’t quite hear you, Your Grace,” Ms. Crawford said with a chuckle.

“I cannot,” Alicia repeated, lifting her head, “I cannot stop thinking of him.”

Ms. Crawford grinned at her. “I’m surprised it took this long.”

“What?”

“Well,” the housekeeper began to gather up the papers, “he has always been handsome. Ever since he was a boy, I knew the duke would grow up to be something of a charmer.”

Alicia grew red. “That–that isn’t what I meant, Ms. Crawford.”

“Really?”

“Of course not!” Alicia fumbled as she stood, the chair almost falling over. “I only meant that our continuous squabbling has left me confused and unsure of where to turn. I am supposed to spend the rest of my life in these halls, and I don’t think my husband will ever be able to truly look me in the eye.”

“Have you considered not squabbling?”

“Ms. Crawford,” Alicia sternly snapped, “I thought I told you I didn’t approve of the sarcasm.”

The housekeeper laughed. “I promise it wasn’t sarcasm, Your Grace. I mean it quite honestly.”

“How can I not argue with him?” Alicia crossed her arms and paced around the small room. “He is insufferable and rude. He does not care for Lucy’s feelings, he does not care for my feelings, and he doesn’t bother to stay around long enough for us to have a civilized conversation!”

“But what about the day in the drawing room?”

“What about it?”

“I overheard Lady Lucy talking of your dance,” Ms. Crawford said. “She had said it was better than any book she had ever read.”

Alicia tried to cover her face with her hands.

“Do not be embarrassed, Your Grace.”

She groaned. “I am not embarrassed.”

“Then why can’t you look at me while we discuss it?”

Alicia sighed. “I am not embarrassed for the reasons you think.”

Ms. Crawford sat back down at the table, gesturing her to continue on.

“That waltz was one of the most thrilling moments of my life,” she said quietly. “I have danced plenty of times before, but there was something different about it, with him. It was as if nothing else existed, and I didn’t have to say a word for him to know my mind.”

Alicia walked back to the table and sat beside the housekeeper. “But when it was over, he just…left.”

“I see.”

“Without a word,” Alicia whispered. “It felt as though I had failed once more to fulfill my original responsibility; achieve a marriage.”

Ms. Crawford sighed. “I can’t begin to explain why the duke is such a complicated man. I know it is what you wish to hear, but I cannot. One day, you will understand that, and it will be better. Life at Garvey will be easier to swallow.”

“I can’t see that happening any time soon.”

“It is during the times that we lose hope that the worst outcome becomes the reality, Your Grace.”

Alicia glanced over at the housekeeper, who smiled at her. “I appreciate your sound advice, Ms. Crawford.”

“I’m only glad you find it sound,” she said with a laugh. Slowly, the older woman rose from her seat, glancing out the window. “Why don’t you use this lovely weather to take a walk around the estate? Or, better yet, find Lady Lucy and take her for a horse ride. She always loves the horses, and would appreciate better company than the governess,” she finished with a wink.

Alicia nodded. “I might try to find the duke first.”

“Are you sure, Your Grace? Some fresh air might do you some good.”

“I’m sure it would,” she said. “But I have to try and see him.”

Alicia gave the housekeeper a quick bow before leaving the drawing room. There was a growing doubt within her chest that said Matthew had already left the estate for the day. Even though it was still early morning, there was no way for her to tell when he would run off or not.

Turning the corner, Alicia passed the drawing room where Lucy normally took her lessons. On a quick glance, she saw Miss Ayles standing beside the window, dressed in a scarlet dress. While Lucy was nowhere to be seen, the thing that caught Alicia’s eye was the way the governess’s face was contorted, as if cruel thoughts filled her mind.

Alicia slipped into the room. “Miss Ayles,” she called out.

The governess flinched in surprise, turning to see her. She gave a bow. “Good morning, Your Grace.”

“Where is Lucy?”

“Off in the library,” she replied. “The young lady wished for some solitary study.”

Alicia scoffed. “Really?”

“Every once in a while, she does.”

“I see,” Alicia mused. She pressed her lips together, not wanting to hang around. “I will see you later this afternoon for tea, Miss Ayles.”

The governess stepped towards her. “You look as though you are on a mission, Your Grace.”

“I suppose I am,” she said curtly, not wanting to divulge in the governess.

“Maybe I could be of some assistance?”

Despite her offering to help, Alicia felt a pit in her stomach. “Have you seen the duke today?”

“No, Your Grace,” she replied with a shrug. “I figured he’d be off already.”

“As did I.”

“Is there something of importance to discuss with the duke?”

Alicia gave her a thin smile. “I wish to end our bickering with a conversation if only I can catch him.” She bowed her head. “So, if you’ll excuse me, Miss Ayles.”

“I don’t think that is so wise, Your Grace.”

Alicia paused at the threshold of the drawing room. “And why would you think that?”

“The duke has never been described as a civil man,” Miss Ayles said. “Not even his father.”

Intrigued, Alicia walked closer to the governess. “Did you encounter his father before his passing?”

“Not quite,” she replied. “But all the ton knew of him.”

“Knew of him how?”

“To be stoic and cold,” Miss Ayles explained. “He was fair and just to his tenants, but never considered to be a societal man. Even a duke can be plagued with scandal, and the ton made sure he was aware of it.”

Alicia gave the governess a look. “Duke’s cannot be truly affected by scandal.”

“Perhaps it does not affect their standing,” Miss Ayles said. “But it does not mean scandal ceases to exist.”

Alicia sat on the sofa. “What scandal?”

“Oh,” the governess sighed. “I’m not quite sure about the specifics.”

“Of course,” Alicia muttered under her breath.

Miss Ayles eyed her. “If I can ask, Your Grace, why do think you can change him?”

“I never said anything about changing him.”

“But you are trying, aren’t you?” Miss Ayles leaned towards her. “You want the duke to open up to you, to trust you, and treat you as his companion, but he is not built for that. He never has been.”

Alicia narrowed her eyes at her. “How could you possibly be so sure of that?”

“Well, I’ve been here, haven’t I?”

“You are Lucy’s governess,” Alicia said, “not the duke’s.”

“Of course not,” she snapped. “But I have dined with him more than you. I have walked the gardens alongside him more than you have. I have even attended balls alongside him, whereas, you attend balls… beneath him, I suppose.”

Alicia gaped at her. “Miss Ayles.”

“Forgive me, Your Grace,” she laughed, covering her mouth. “I only meant to jest.”

“I don’t want to change him.”

“Wanting him to treat you differently is changing him,” Miss Ayles said. “Same goes for how he treats Lucy. It is just the way he is. Why does it need to be changed? Because you are now the duchess? Because you wish it to be so?”

“Because it is what’s right,” Alicia snapped. “Lucy deserves better.”

“Oh,” the governess said with a mocking glint in her eye, “were we talking about Lucy?”

Alicia felt herself tighten. “I don’t appreciate your tone, Miss Ayles.”

“I apologize, Your Grace,” she said. “I just want you to understand.”

Alicia turned away from her. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand what happens in Garvey.”

“And that shouldn’t be a problem, Your Grace. Sometimes,” she said, “you just need to accept things for the way they are. Accept that your husband is only a man you had to marry for propriety’s sake. Accept that he is withdrawn and closed off — it’s not like he wanted to marry you.”

Alicia winced at her words.

“Besides, it was just a sham marriage, wasn’t it?”

The duchess met the governess’s gaze. “I suppose it was.”

Miss Ayles stood and fluffed out her skirt. “Take heed in speaking to the duke, Your Grace,” she said as she walked to the door. “You might find you regret it afterward.” With a polite bow, the governess left the drawing room.

Despite how much Matthew despised gentlemen’s clubs, he found himself preparing a carriage once more to head into London and visit Lew’s and Crake’s. After giving Danvers his word on returning, he figured he’d get it over and done with before the nightly crowd rolled in.

Waiting on the front steps of Garvey, Matthew turned at the sound of footsteps coming towards him. “Good morning, Mr. Livingston.”

The butler breathed deeply by the time he got to where Matthew stood. “I hope all is well, Your Grace.”

“It very much is,” he replied.

“Where are you headed?”

Matthew glared. “Lew’s and Crake’s.”

“Really,” the butler mused, “again so soon?”

“I wouldn’t get into it with me, Mr. Livingston.”

The butler let out a hearty laugh. “I wouldn’t dare, Your Grace. I only wished to catch you before you departed to ask about some specifications.”

“What kinds of specifications?”

“Ms. Crawford was not clear in her notes about it,” Mr. Livingston said, “so do you know how many extra candles we should order for the ball? The townhouse is quite naturally dark with where the sun rises and sets, so I assumed an extra crate or two. But just to be sure, what is your suggestion, Your Grace?”

Matthew stared at the old man’s balding head in confusion. “Candles for the ball?”

“Well, yes, Your Grace,” he said. “The ball Her Grace is organizing. I was sure you had heard of it by now.”

“Of course,” Matthew growled, clenching his fists at his sides. He fought the anger that rose in his throat and turned to face the butler. “Refer to the duchess and the housekeeper for that, Mr. Livingston.”

The butler bowed his head. “As you wish, Your Grace.”

Matthew didn’t know what to do at that point. He could feel Mr. Livingston’s eyes on him, as though the old man had something else to say. “What is it?”

“Nothing, Your Grace,” he said. “Except?—”

“Out with it, Mr. Livingston.”

“Why would it be so difficult to host a ball, Your Grace?”

“It is not a matter of difficulty,” Matthew snapped. “I will not allow myself to be the laughing stock of the ton because of the carelessness of my wife.”

Mr. Livingston bowed his head again. “Of course, Your Grace.” The butler made his way slowly back up the stairs.

Matthew breathed deeply, tapping his foot impatiently. “Where is that damn carriage?” he muttered under his breath.

“Oh,” a lady’s voice called out, “Your Grace! Funny seeing you out here.”

Looking over his shoulder, he watched the governess Miss Ayles making her way down the stairs towards him. He sighed. “Funny how, miss?”

She laughed. “Just funny.”

“Where might my sister be, Miss Ayles, if not in your care?”

“Lady Lucy preferred solitary reading in the library today,” she explained, now standing beside him. “Shame. It’s a beautiful day.”

Matthew glanced at the governess, and saw a slight smirk on her lips. While she was the last person he wanted to talk to, it seemed that his other choices were slim. “Might I ask you a question, Miss Ayles?”

“Well, of course, Your Grace,” she replied, turning to face him.

“Have you spoken to the duchess about a ball?”

“Yes, Your Grace,” she said. “If you mean the ball she is organizing.”

He sighed. “Has she… confided in you about it at all?”

Miss Ayles smiled sweetly at him. “The duchess has hoped to show the ton her new status for quite some time now.”

He frowned. “Really?”

“Yes, Your Grace. I’m sure you know of the scandal that has rocked her family name. It kept her from debuting when she normally would, and almost ruined the debut of her wild, younger sister.”

“The duchess has never given me the impression that it mattered to her.”

“Well,” she drawled, “some women are quite skilled in manipulation like that, Your Grace.”

“Manipulation?” he repeated, taken aback.

“The last time I spoke to the duchess, I tried to tell her that it wasn’t worth it.” The governess paced around him. “I told her you were too far above it all to be spited by it.”

Matthew shook his head. “Speak plainly, Miss Ayles. What do you mean?”

She gazed up at him through her lashes. “The duchess confided in me just moments ago, Your Grace. The ball is to affirm her station, and when you denied her of it the first time, it became something born of malice instead.”

“So you’re saying,” he slowly said, “that she is planning the ball now in order to anger me?”

“Yes, Your Grace!”

He shook his head. “That doesn’t sound like her at all.”

Miss Ayles appeared by his side, her head tilted with wide eyes. “Forgive my boldness, Your Grace, but how much do you really know about her?”

Matthew eyed her.

She put a hand on her chest. “I feel so much better after telling you.”

Matthew bristled. “Now, now, Miss Ayles. Perhaps you would find your time better spent mentoring my sister.”

She frowned at him. “Of course, Your Grace.” Miss Ayles gave him a bow, and a devilish smirk before she began to make her way back up the stairs into Garvey Manor.

Matthew turned, looking back at the courtyard as the carriage began to make its way around the corner. The sound of Miss Ayles’s steps as she went back up the stairs clung to him like a bad omen. While he was unsure as to why the governess sought to sully his wife’s name, Matthew could still see it, and would not let it go unnoticed. He stole a glance over his shoulder, watching her disappear into the manor. Perhaps a ball might reveal the rats within my home.

“All will be well,” he told himself, and entered the carriage, leaving Garvey behind.