9. Maddie
The next several days were uneventful. Maddie worked during the day in her bedroom or the living room, while Ian worked from his office. She didn't know if she was imagining it or not, but it felt as though he was keeping his distance from her. He still checked on her and talked to her throughout the day and during meals, but he didn't just barge into her room like he usually would or show any affection other than the occasional rubbing of her back or ruffling her hair with his hand.
As much as it bothered her because she wanted him to touch her or cuddle her like he had the night they watched the movie, her mind was still in a fog, and she was trying her best to focus on work and keep her mind busy so she wouldn't think about the upcoming funeral.
After finishing her work on Friday, she sat in her room with only her twinkle lights giving the room a soft glow, and cried. The funeral was the next day, and she would officially be saying goodbye to her brother. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them until she was as small as possible and sobbed. She didn't know how long she had been there crying, but the tears just continued to come.
"Hey, baby, what's wrong? Is it Cam? Talk to me, please." Ian's deep voice said from the partially open doorway.
He walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't look up from where her head rested on her knees.
"Baby, talk to me."
He lifted her from where she sat and pulled her into his lap, scooting himself back, so he was leaning against the headboard. His warm arms wrapped around her, and he ran his hand up and down her back. He didn't say anything more. Instead, he just let her cry in his arms until she ran out of tears, and they turned into sniffles and hiccups.
"I just miss him so much, and tomorrow I have to say my final goodbye to him. How am I going to live without him?"
Ian rocked her softly against him, "Oh, baby. I know. He was such a special person to both of us. I know I can never replace Cam, but you don't have to live without him. He will be all around you, and most importantly, he will always be in your heart. Cam will always be a part of you. Of both of us. I miss him so damn much."
It seemed like Ian always knew what to say when she was struggling, and his words eased the pain a little bit. Cam would watch over her. She knew that. He would always be a part of her, and she would always have the best memories of him.
"What if I can't handle the funeral?" she asked quietly.
He seemed to think about it for a moment.
"I will be right there with you. I won't leave your side, and you can lean on me. I'll take care of you, Maddie."
She knew he would. It was Ian. Calm, cool, and collected with broad shoulders that could hold the weight of the world on them. He and Cam were two of the most indestructible people she'd ever known. There had to be a breaking point for him, though, and she had been so wrapped up in her own sadness for the past week that she didn't have any clue how Ian was handling all of this.
"Are you doing okay?" she asked.
He swallowed hard, and when she looked up to meet his gaze, she saw the sadness that he had been shielding from her.
"I miss him too, baby. So much. He was the best person I've ever known, and he loved me for me, and he had my back since the first day we met. I feel as though I have a huge hole in my heart. Honestly, having you here has been the one thing that has kept me from completely losing it. You are the other best person I've ever known, and while I will always miss Cam, I am so thankful I still have my Maddie-Rose."
She snuggled in closer to him, practically clinging to his shirt. He meant so much to her. If only he knew exactly how much she loved him and what she knew about him. Tilting her head up towards his face, he lowered his chin so he was looking down at her. Pulling her hand from his shirt, Maddie snaked her arm up around his neck and pulled him down closer to her.
His eyes studied her, moving from her mouth, up to her eyes, and back down to her mouth again. She parted her lips slightly, hoping to give him the encouragement he might have needed to kiss her. When his eyes moved back up to hers, she felt him tense underneath her, and then he pulled himself back, creating space between them.
Disappointment and embarrassment flooded her. She thought for sure he was going to kiss her this time. But instead, he pulled away, and she felt like a fool.
"Why don't you go get showered and get ready for bed. I'll bring you up some hot chocolate with marshmallows when you're done."
At least he was adding sugar to the wound instead of salt. He knew her weakness for hot chocolate. Not that the hot chocolate would relieve the pressure building in her clit, but maybe she could take care of that in the shower. She nodded her head.
He scooted to the edge of the bed with her still in his lap, and she was almost positive she felt a hard thickness pressing against her butt when he shifted. She wiggled her hips gently, trying to confirm if she felt what she thought she had. When Ian groaned and clutched her hips tightly to hold her still, she felt a surge of pleasure inside of her that ran right down to her pussy. He may not have kissed her, but he had a similar reaction to their closeness, and she counted that as a win.
After she finished her shower, Maddie put on one of her cotton nighties that had a picture of a unicorn on the front of it and crawled into bed. Checking her phone, she saw a text message from her friend Quinn.
I'm so sorry to hear about Cam. I'm speechless. I won't be able to make it to the funeral. I'm out of town, but if you're still in Seattle when I get back, let's get together. Love you.
She had gone to school with Quinn, and she was the closest thing to a best friend that Maddie had. Maddie had been too introverted when she was younger to get very close with anyone other than Cam and Ian, but Quinn always seemed to take her for who she was and love her despite Maddie keeping her at arm's length.
Thank you. I'm not sure how long I'll be here. Call me when you get back.
Ian walked in as she finished the text, with a mug of hot chocolate in his hand.
"Who are you texting?" he asked.
She looked up at him, wondering why he was asking. Was he thinking she was texting a guy and jealous? Or was he really just curious? She would love to see Ian get jealous over her.
"Quinn. She can't make it tomorrow and was sending me her condolences."
Ian knew Quinn - mainly because the only times Maddie had ever gotten into trouble in high school, Quinn was usually somehow a part of the picture. Like the night he'd picked her up drunk from the party that she hadn't told him she was going to. Boy, had she gotten the lecture of a lifetime for that.
"Ready for some hot cocoa?"
Sitting up, she clapped her hands, then took the mug from him. It was piled high with mini marshmallows, and she couldn't help but pick one out of the cup and pop it into her mouth. She grinned happily up at him.
"I probably shouldn't be giving you straight sugar before bedtime."
Maddie shrugged, "Yeah, but you love me."
He chuckled and tilted his head down towards her with his eyebrow raised.
"I do love you, but that certainly doesn't mean you will get whatever you want with me, brat."
We'll see about that.
He sat at the foot of her bed while she drank her cocoa. He didn't say much, other than small talk about what books she was in the process of editing. After she'd finished, he took her mug from her and said goodnight.
Maddie snuggled down in bed, and despite the release she had given herself in the shower only an hour before, she found herself reaching under her nighty and sliding her hand down the front of her panties. Slipping her finger between her folds, she applied pressure to the sensitive pearl that instantly made her moan and arch her chest up towards the ceiling.
It only took a few flicks of her clit before Maddie reached her orgasm, covering her mouth with her free hand to quiet the moans that tried to escape her lips. When her breathing slowed, and her body came down from the blissful high, she fell asleep with Stitch clutched to her chest.