Chapter Thirty-Two

Sarah

A fter kissing Jakub on the head and finally getting him to sleep, I glanced at the door. It was open, and there was no sign of Levi, but I wasn't fooled. He was out there. Waiting. Probably forming some kind of explanation about why his former flame was in our house in nothing but a thong and corset humping him against the wall!

As if there could be an explanation for that.

How long, I seethed, how long had he been doing that behind my back? Having those little meetups once I was asleep. Had she just come early that day, was that it? Tried to surprise him?

Jakub rolled over in the bed. I watched him sleep. My son. The most precious thing in my entire world. How was it his father could have produced something so perfect?

I sighed, reaching down to brush some of Jakub's hair out of his face. It was getting long and unruly. I'd been planning to cut it, but that was before all the current unpleasantness. Current fashion among dragons was to grow it long, however, and I knew he would want to do the same. To look like the others. To look like his father.

Sighing, I got up from the bed. There was no point in delaying in the inevitable. This confrontation would happen, and the sooner it did, the sooner I could try to sleep.

As I suspected, Levi was waiting for me in the hallway outside the room.

"Where?" I asked tiredly before he could say a thing.

"My office?"

"Sure."

A dullness replaced my anger as I followed him and closed the door behind me. I was done with it all. The changes, the drama. Everything about his world got worse the longer I was in it.

"I want to go home," I said.

Levi sighed. "Sarah."

"I'm done. I'm just done with all your bullshit ." The last word cracked out like a gunshot.

"He's my son. Whether you like it or not, he's a dragon, Sarah. Jakub needs to be raised around his own kind. With someone who can guide him and teach him how to be a dragon."

"Including traipsing around with all the neighborhood whores?" I snapped.

"Is that what you thought was happening?" he asked, eyebrows riding high. "You can't be serious. Are you that blind you couldn't read the room?"

"I saw her kiss you, Levi. That wasn't the sort of kiss one gives a friend. It lingered. And you didn't push her away."

"I …" he faltered, frowning. "I didn't know she was going to kiss me. On the cheek ."

"But you didn't push her away." I crossed my arms. "Because you still want her."

"That is not true."

"Oh, please! I know all about your history with Lydia. Your mom told me everything, Levi. Don't lie to me!" I bit my lip as the words came out louder than intended.

He worked his jaw. "Of course she would tell you about that. She loves humiliating me. Reliving that time."

"Clearly, you do, too."

"Explain yourself."

"You wouldn't keep her around if you didn't want her, Levi. You would have severed that friendship after she chose him instead of you. Anybody would. ‘Mate' or not, that hurts."

He shook his head. "I can't get mad because her dragon chose someone else."

"Uh-huh. And just coincidentally, you get to have her come by on the regular dressed in barely there lingerie."

"I didn't ask her to do that," he said, baring his teeth. "You know me better than that. You're just latching on to this because you want your anti-dragon prejudice to be proven correct. So you don't have to admit you're wrong about some of us."

" Or I saw the man who says I am his mate up against the wall with a scantily clad woman pressed up against him kissing him in the dark," I fired back.

"On the cheek," he stressed. "And fine, what do you want me to say, Sarah? Yes, I wanted her. I thought she was my mate. I didn't handle it well after. There. Fine. Does that help? Does it make you feel better about yourself to make me relive that pain? Does it?"

"I'd say you still aren't handling it well." I refused to acknowledge his points.

"You'd be wrong."

"Really? And why is that? What changed in you, Levi? Please tell me. This should be good."

" You! " he exploded, flinging his arms out wide. "You changed me, Sarah. You changed everything . Can't you see that? You showed me I was wrong about her. That she wasn't my mate."

I looked away, embarrassed at myself by the emotion in his voice. Emotion that couldn't be faked. He was hurting, bad, though he'd been trying to hide it. Not just because of me, though. It felt … deeper, in some way.

"All we did was fuck," I muttered.

"Right. If that's all you think it was now, then you're the best damn liar I've ever seen. We both know it was more. That it was something else . I was too hurt at the time to recognize what it meant, but I'm not anymore, Sarah. I know what it means. I know what you mean to me."

He was right. Again. In hindsight, it was easy to see that the connection between us, as filled with sex as it was, had been the gateway to something else. Something more.

"I'm serious," he continued when I didn't say anything. "Why do you think I acted so rashly when I saw you at the White House? My focus wasn't on consequences. It was on you and the sudden realization that not only could I have you again, but that I wanted you. I wanted you badly with every part of me. I'm not just talking about your body, as sexy as it is. I'm talking about all of you, Sarah. Your brain, your heart, everything that makes you you is what I wanted. What I needed and couldn't live without. That's why I demanded you come here. Because I didn't want to lose you. Again."

Biting down on my lip hard, I paced across the room to buy myself some time to come up with a proper response.

His words had come dangerously close to a word neither of us had yet used. Whether on purpose or simply because we weren't ready, I didn't know, but what I did know was that he'd been treading on the edge of it just then. I could see it, those four letters, just on the horizon.

What would have happened if he'd said it? I didn't know. Wasn't sure I wanted to know. It was all too much. Too fast.

"You can't expect me to just believe that," I said, stopping and facing his desk.

"Why not ?" he cried. "I believe it!"

I lost my cool. "Because you were just letting yourself get felt up by another woman in lingerie while I was twenty feet away with your son . If you cared that much, you wouldn't let that happen!"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Yes, it was!" I slammed a hand down on his desk, knowing I should be keeping quiet and yet somehow not able to. "I saw it. You were against the wall. She was pressed right up against you, touching you, one knee on the wall. She could probably feel your damn dick getting hard!"

Levi came closer, trapping me against his desk. I pushed him back. He took a half step back but didn't go any further.

"That's not what it was. She came on to me, yes, I admit that. But not because I wanted her to," he hissed. "Think about it. She's my best friend's mate. Why would I want that? Do you really think I'm that shitty of a person? Of a friend? That I would do this behind his back, let alone yours? Can you honestly say, with true conviction and heart, that I come across like that?"

I couldn't. "No," I whispered, tapping an envelope on the desk with one finger, listening to the sound my nail made as it hit the thick paper. "I can't."

"Good."

"That doesn't mean I forgive you!" I said, spinning around at last to face him.

As I did, my hand caught the envelope and sent it sliding off the desk. I reached for it desperately, but it slid out of my grasp and slowly fell, spilling papers.

"Sorry," I said, crouching.

"I'll get it," Levi said abruptly, moving quickly to grab what he could.

He got most of them. But not all.

I stared at the drawing on the paper and the notes listed on the other ones. I recognized the images. What they were for. The terms used in the notes. They were similar to what I saw in training scenarios for work. They were the outlines of a plan of assault on a building. I glanced once more at the image of the target. Not just any building.

"Levi," I asked cautiously. "Why does it look like I'm staring at plans to infiltrate the palace?"

He swallowed.

I rifled through some more. I saw his name and the timelines. The indicated avenues of approach. Guard stands. Notes on changing of guard rotations. It was all there.

"What the fuck is this?" I snarled, shaking the papers at him. "Levi, what the hell is going on here? Why do you have all this? You said these were notes from Malakai. You said—"

I stopped short, putting it all together.

"You asshole," I spat, shaking my head. "I can't believe you! I come here, tell you that you have a son. You pretend like you've given up your rebellious ways. But instead, you're planning a fucking coup behind my back? Do you have any idea of the sort of danger you've put the two of us in? Do you? Huh? Tell me!"

"Sarah," Levi pleaded. "Listen to me. Please. I can explain it all. I promise!"

"No," I snapped. "No more promises, Levi. No more lies. No more pretending to do one thing while planning the opposite. You had your shot. You blew it. We're over. This is over. I'm taking Jakub, and we're leaving. Dragon or not, I'm his mother. I can raise him just fine, thank you very much! Now, move ."

He stood between me and the door. "You don't understand," he said, holding out his hands.

"I understand just fine, actually. These drawings explain it all. Crystal clear."

"I told him no," Levi growled.

"Sure, you did," I said with a wave of my hand. "Sure, you did. But you kept the notes. Because you didn't want to tell him no. You wanted to say yes, and you damn well know it!"

There was no way Jakub was still sleeping at that point. I cursed myself for waking him, even if I hadn't heard him yet. He would be at the door soon.

"Sarah."

"No," I said icily, jamming a finger in his face. "Just, no. I can handle danger. I'm trained for it. I practice for life-threatening situations on the regular. While I don't like you putting me in that situation, I figure I can handle it better than ninety-nine percent of the population. But, Levi, you didn't just put me in danger. You put our son in danger. How. Dare. You."

He opened his mouth to speak, and I did something I didn't know I had in me. I slapped him.

"Enough of your lies," I spat, shaking my hand, already regretting the action. It wasn't me. It wasn't the way to handle the situation. "I'm not doing this. I don't care what you told Malakai. Between this, Lydia, everything, it's too much. We're either going home, or we're going to live somewhere else on this island. Either way, you won't be around."

Levi rubbed his jaw where I'd hit him. I wanted to apologize, but I held my tongue. I'd said my piece. Now, it was his turn.

"Sarah. I—"

Whatever he was going to say was lost in the sounds of dragon claws scraping on the roof above us.

Many dragon claws.