Chapter Twenty-Three

A light hand touched Tanitha's shoulder, and she flung herself upright with a gasp, summoning a flame to light the room. For a moment she didn't recognize her surroundings, her mind casting about. And then memory of all that had happened over the previous few days came flooding back.

She turned to the servant girl who'd awakened her. She looked like she had Ithari heritage, with silken black hair tied back in a loose knot. She'd drawn back hurriedly at Tanitha's reaction. "I'm sorry, Lady Tanitha," she said, and Tanitha had to work to stop her brow from furrowing at the use of the title, though she supposed perhaps she should be used to it by then.

Tanitha finally managed to get her heart rate to slow, a little bit embarrassed at her reaction, but in her defense, sleep had felt like a vulnerable state since leaving Darius' Hold.

"It's all right," she said. She lowered the hand that had summoned the flame, dismissing it to leave the room illuminated only by the moonlight streaming in through the window. "I'm sorry I startled you in turn. What is it?"

"Lady Alethia sent me," the girl said timidly. She held up a signet ring that Tanitha unfortunately recognized. "She said I'm to escort you to her. She said it was urgent."

"Urgent," Tanitha said warily. Surely… surely this wasn't…?

The girl nodded. "Another Trial," she said softly. "It… I've never heard of two occurring so close together."

Tanitha hadn't either. Perhaps that was more by chance than by design— Trials were rarely manufactured situations, after all— but while it was just vaguely possible that two emergencies worthy of a Trial had occurred close together, it felt more like Alethia wanted her deliberately at less than her full strength.

Gods, she wasn't ready. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears, making it hard to think. Her conversation with Naratha had been ringing in her ears since it had occurred, of course, but Tanitha hadn't expected to have to make a decision so soon. Naratha had told Tanitha to refuse the Trial, and in truth, Tanitha had considered it. But a refusal still meant her eventual death; whatever Naratha might have hinted to the contrary, Tanitha did not believe that Naratha meant to spare her.

And if that was the case… if that was the case, Tanitha was long past done playing Naratha's games. Her sense of resolve was tainted by dread, but it was nonetheless firm in her mind. Whatever her fate might be, she would seek it out on her own terms.

"My lady?" the girl asked. "Should I help you get dressed?"

Tanitha held herself with as much poise as she could manage, though it probably wasn't much. "Wait outside," she said. She cleared her throat against the hard lump of anxiety that had lodged there despite her determination to hold true to her course, then added, "I'll be there momentarily."

The girl left, though she paused to light the oil lamp by the door. Tanitha stood, the silken sleeping robe brushing lightly against her legs. She folded her arms against a chill that she told herself was just from the night air drifting in through the open window, then approached the wardrobe. As her fingertips brushed the finely polished wood, though, she drew back. Turning away from it on silent feet, she crossed instead to the adjoining room.

Lithra was asleep, barely stirring when Tanitha entered. The moonlight filtered in through a gap in the gauzy curtains, painting Lithra with a wash of silver. The effect combined with the guilelessness that came with sleep to make her seem younger than she truly was, and for a moment, Tanitha was taken back to other nights, so long ago. There had been so many where she had stood like this, watching over Lithra, determined that no matter what, she would keep her safe. That no matter what, Lithra wouldn't lose the life they'd built together.

She'd failed at that. Lithra had been torn away from all she knew as surely as Tanitha, and it had been because of Tanitha. On a logical level, she knew she couldn't truly ascribe all the blame to herself, or even most of it, but in that moment, she certainly felt as if she could.

She approached the bed, raising one hand to gently shake Lithra's shoulder, but just before she made contact, she paused. She stood there for several seconds, hand outstretched, and then slowly lowered it. If she woke Lithra, Lithra would know immediately that something was wrong. And if she asked Tanitha to stay— if she asked her to do as Naratha had said and deny the Trial— Tanitha wasn't certain she would be able to refuse her. If that happened… if that happened, Tanitha was ceding control of not only her own fate to Naratha, but Darius' as well. And that was one thing she could not do.

She returned to her own room to dress, and selected one of the plainer options, a linen dress the color of cream with a split skirt, on the off chance that she found herself astride a horse again.

Once her hair was bound back in a braid, she exited the room, stepping past the guards, who made no protest at her exit. Tanitha gave them a calm nod, though she didn't know if she was trying to convince herself or them that she wasn't gripped by claws of dread.

She followed the servant girl through the palace corridors. Most were dimly lit by magelight, and all were quiet, with only the occasional servant crossing their path.

As they turned onto a broad marble staircase, each step padded with a plush runner, the girl said, "Lady Tanitha… your pardon, but is it true that you're fully human? And that you were raised a foundling?"

"That's true, yes," Tanitha said.

The girl smiled briefly. "Some are saying it can't be," she said. "That the prince wouldn't choose someone without demon blood. But… well, he's been known to watch the lower courts, and they say he has an interest in the affairs of common people." She glanced at Tanitha. "And… it's also true that he's been sent away to address some problems on the border?" she asked.

Tanitha almost made a face. So that was the story to explain his absence.

"Prince Darius has a number of duties," she said in response. "Right now, he's doing all he can to fulfill them."

The girl nodded, though she didn't look quite convinced. Tanitha felt a grim sort of satisfaction at that; perhaps Naratha didn't have quite the stranglehold on the narrative that she'd like to think. But the satisfaction faded quickly as she remembered that she was, at that very moment, playing a part in upholding that same narrative by agreeing to these Trials. To Trials that were specifically calculated to kill her, if her suspicions were even halfway correct.

The dread deepened in the pit in her stomach as the girl led her to an outer courtyard, where a team of guards on horses waited. Tanitha wordlessly mounted the one riderless horse as the servant girl surrendered the ring to the leader of the guards. Each guard was carrying a red banner emblazoned with the royal crest. The false show of honor made her feel both infuriated and even more trapped into fulfilling her role in this mockery of allowing her a chance to be with Darius.

She set her jaw, barely paying attention to where the guards were leading her as they set off. This was a mockery of fairness, and Naratha did intend for her to die, whether it be today or sometime in the near future. But Tanitha, for her part, intended to survive. More than that, she intended to win.

Her small entourage led her through broad avenues that were eerily empty in the early morning darkness. As they traveled, the roads became progressively narrower and more twisted. She didn't ask where they were going; Alethia's earlier taunts about Tanitha's abilities had been clear enough that she felt she had a good idea of what was coming.

And sure enough, after what felt like both a very short and yet interminably long stretch of time, she and her entourage emerged from the winding streets to the comparative openness of Karazhen's harbor.

Tanitha's jaw was set in a grim line as the guards led her to a kaika, a mid-sized vessel with finely woven sails dyed a deep red. As they approached, Alethia of Zharen stepped forward, standing at the top of the gangplank. The captain of the guards dismounted from his horse to approach her. There was some murmured conversation as he returned Alethia's ring to her, then bowed in acknowledgement when the demon woman dismissed him and his men.

Tanitha dismounted from her horse, handing its reins to one of the guards. As they left, Alethia turned to Tanitha, standing aboard the ship at the top of the gangplank while Tanitha remained at its foot. For a moment, the two women just regarded each other.

"Is this it?" Tanitha asked quietly. As she spoke, she reached out with her senses. There were a few human consciousnesses scattered around the harbor, but none were nearby, and she didn't sense any other demons. She and Alethia were alone. "The third Trial. Is it where you plan to kill me?" she asked.

Alethia was watching Tanitha with a strange expression, one that was carefully neutral but for an edge of assessment. She didn't answer.

"That is what you want, isn't it?" Tanitha asked, her volume low, but carrying on the still morning air regardless. "You said that rulers needed to be accountable for the impact of their actions, not the intent. I imagine my death would be a firm lesson to Darius, wouldn't it?" Her voice betrayed her with a faint tremble. "It's a neat solution for you. You get your vengeance and can tell yourself that my death serves the good of Karazhen as well. What's the life of one human girl against that?"

Alethia didn't respond for several moments. When she did, her voice was as low as Tanitha's.

"The guards are too far away to see you," she said. Tanitha's brow furrowed, and Alethia continued, "If you choose to walk away right now, I will not stop you."

Tanitha looked at her sideways for a long moment. What was this, some new game? Or could the demon woman possibly have changed her mind about Tanitha's fate?

"Why would you offer that?" she asked at last.

"I don't need to give you my reasons," Alethia replied quietly. "But if you want to run, you should do it now. I imagine you only have a few moments before Torius and Hathia arrive."

Tanitha took a long, slow breath. Perhaps Tanitha's performance in the second Trial had softened Alethia toward her; it was possible, Tanitha supposed, if only just. Or perhaps this was yet another game, yet another manipulation. Perhaps Alethia found the prospect of telling Darius that Tanitha had abandoned him nearly as appealing as the idea of Tanitha's death.

But Alethia's intention, whatever it might be, didn't matter. Tanitha's course was set, and the last thing she would do was run. She wouldn't leave Darius. Not like that.

She didn't answer. She knew her decision was clear in her expression, and Alethia gave her a single nod, a look of something almost like approval crossing her face for just a moment.

Tanitha stepped onto the gangplank and ascended to the ship.