Chapter Twenty-Nine

Tanitha sat at the table in the dining hall, staring blankly ahead. She hadn't slept, and had only barely managed to eat a few bites of fruit before the numb torpor had taken hold once more. No matter how she tried to tell herself to get up, to do something , she couldn't persuade herself to move. Her mind insisted on replaying the moment when she'd ordered Darius to wait over and over again. And each time, the remembered look of betrayal stabbed her heart anew.

She blinked back tears. She had been so foolish to think that they could be together. She had a human body, one that couldn't shift or change. One that couldn't provide the sort of intimate vulnerability that demon mates by necessity had with each other. The moment she'd laid eyes on him, the power in the relationship had suddenly and irrevocably shifted almost entirely in her favor. Of course a prince could never tolerate such a thing.

A part of her, upon realizing that, felt deeply bitter. He'd been willing enough to be with her when he felt that he was in control, but the moment that control had evaporated, that was the end? Perhaps he wasn't the sort of man that she'd thought he was, if he could only be with a woman he saw as no threat to his own power.

And yet, another part of her didn't know if her anger at that was entirely fair. She'd never felt that he wanted to control her. If anything, he'd been giving her the tools to strengthen herself. And even in that moment when he'd been at his most vulnerable, when something he must have feared deeply had just occurred, his first thought had been to tell her what kind of danger she was in, and to tell her how to be safe.

She closed her eyes. All she had to do was stay here. Alone, haunted by her own thoughts, both longing for and dreading the moment he'd come back.

The morning passed in a numb haze. Tanitha went through the motions of caring for herself, eating food that seemed to have no taste and walking in a garden that held no joy or beauty. It only had memories that were tainted with the pain of knowing that they were gone from her now, never to be built upon or repeated. It was all gone. He was gone.

Eventually, she returned to the bedroom. She had just finished forcing herself to change from what she'd been wearing the night before despite the lethargy and apathy that had settled over her when a shock ran through the entire building. The stone floor rocked beneath her feet, and she slammed against the side of the wardrobe with a gasp.

Her surroundings settled, and she stood in place, breathing heavily for several seconds. Had that been a quake? She'd experienced something like that once before, a shifting of the earth that had caused minor damage in the Sanctuary. She'd heard that strong elementalists could make such a thing happen.

Elementalists… or demons.

Suddenly filled with a bone-deep dread born of certainty, she walked to the double-doors of the balcony, throwing them open. She barely noticed the shock of cold as wind and snow swept around her.

As she'd expected, there was someone on the causeway, just outside the point where the protections around this place were set. To her surprise, though, it was just one figure, a woman with dark hair dressed in pale blue robes. Tanitha narrowed her eyes. It was difficult to see at this distance, but she thought she could make out the outline of pale, translucent wings.

As if suddenly feeling Tanitha's eyes on her, the demon woman turned her head up to look her way. Even at this distance, Tanitha felt the piercing power and focus of her gaze as the newcomer raised one hand in a cold, ironic greeting. Tanitha took a step back, her entire being tense with sudden fear. Who was this, and why was she here?

More importantly… why hadn't Darius returned himself?

She raised one hand herself in reply, hoping to signal that she'd be down momentarily, then hurriedly withdrew back into her room, shutting the door behind her. Her heart beating hard in her throat, she leaned against the solid wood as she tried to center herself.

She was safe, she reminded herself. She couldn't be touched so long as she didn't cross the protections sunk into the earth and stone surrounding this place. The reassurances did nothing to increase her desire to go speak with a demon who doubtless would be feeling less than friendly toward Tanitha, but she knew she had little option.

She grabbed the thickest fur shawl from the wardrobe, wrapping it around herself as she left the room. She didn't imagine that any demon would take being made to wait very well, so despite her dread, she forced herself to move at a brisk pace.

She reached the front entryway moments later. She took only a few seconds to center herself before she threw back her shoulders and pushed open the thick doors.

Snowy gusts immediately buffeted her as she stepped out onto the causeway, the ground icy beneath her bare feet. Tanitha took one step, then gritted her teeth against the cold as she walked onto the mercifully warmer stone walkway.

The demon woman watched her with hard eyes as she approached. It seemed to take an unnaturally long time to cross, but at last she stood mere feet away from the newcomer. The demon woman was tall, with strikingly beautiful features, though now that they were closer, the scattering of silver-blue scales along her forearms and temples made it quite plain that she wasn't human.

"Tanitha of Sabria," the newcomer said in greeting. Her voice was measured, but the icy coldness in her eyes hadn't faded. Tanitha found herself checking the strength of the enchantments that stood between them to reassure herself before she spoke.

"It's Tanitha of Karazhen, actually," Tanitha replied, keeping her own voice level. She might have been brought to the Shadowborn City from Sabria, but she had never claimed them as her people, and she wasn't about to start now. Not while standing just paces away from a woman who would view Sabrians as her most deadly enemy and seemed inclined to put Tanitha in that same category.

Tanitha forced down a rise of anxiety shot through with dread. However untrue that supposition might be, if this woman knew about what Tanitha had done to Darius— and Tanitha had to assume she did— she had one significant point of evidence to support it. Persuading her otherwise was going to be a challenge, but her own survival might well depend on it.

She took a calming breath. Any demon severely outranked her, but she was standing in a place of safety granted to her by the prince of the city. She wasn't going to surrender what ground that gave her. She met the other woman's eyes, fighting her instinct to keep her gaze downcast and subservient.

"And you are?" she asked.

"I am Alethia of Zharen," the newcomer said. Tanitha looked at her warily. She knew she'd heard that name before, but she couldn't remember the context. The woman's gaze took a contemptuous cast. "Does that name mean nothing to you?"

Tanitha shook her head once, fighting to keep her disquietude from her face.

"Should it?" she asked.

The woman— Alethia— made an indelicate scoffing noise. "I am Prince Darius' betrothed, " she said. Tanitha's heart jolted, and she found herself staring at Alethia, searching for some sign of deception in her gaze, in her face. She found nothing.

She took one shaky step back before forcing herself to go still, feeling strangely distant from her own body. Betrothed ? Surely… surely that couldn't be true. But no matter how desperately she wanted to disbelieve Alethia's words, she couldn't see any hint of a lie in the other woman's eyes.

"How long?" she heard herself ask. Alethia inclined her head slightly in a question. "How long ago was the betrothal made?" Tanitha asked, a tremble darting through her voice despite her determination to hold to what little control of this situation she could.

"Six weeks," Alethia replied, her voice dispassionate. Tanitha, already feeling cold in a way that had nothing to do with the snow whirling around her, felt a deep chill settle in the pit of her stomach. All those nights, all those assurances that he was trying to find a way for them to be together… and he'd been promised to another woman?

"I've been sent to retrieve you," Alethia said, tearing Tanitha's thoughts back to the present, though she was still reeling from Alethia's revelation. Alethia nodded to the line of enchantments between them. "Cross that," she said. "I'll take you back to the City, where we can undo what you've done."

Tanitha swallowed. She was no master of elementalist magic, but… a soul-binding like this? Darius hadn't seemed confident that it even could be broken.

"How?" she asked softly.

"Naratha has brought in her best elementalists to address that very question," Alethia said. She nodded once more to the dividing line between them. "Come."

Despite Alethia's manner of calm command, Tanitha didn't move. Something was deeply wrong here, even if Tanitha didn't know enough to pinpoint what it was. For one thing, though… if Darius had ever cared about her, why would he send a woman whose relationship to him was guaranteed to hurt her? She knew he was hurt himself right now, but she couldn't imagine him making that decision, even so. Not after how kind he'd always been. She'd begged him not to hate her for what she'd done, but she didn't believe that he ever could. He wouldn't hurt her like this.

Tanitha folded her arms, holding the fur-lined cloak close to herself. No, sending someone ideally positioned to cause Tanitha pain was a calculated move, but not by Darius. Whatever else might be true, she wouldn't believe that of him.

"I don't have any way to know if you're telling the truth," she said. And that was true, she didn't know. She wouldn't know the truth of anything Alethia had just said without speaking to Darius herself. Alethia might have no such relationship with him, for all she knew. At least, she fervently hoped so. She didn't know that she could bear the pain of knowing how deeply she'd fallen for him if she'd only been a passing amusement to him.

She gave herself a sharp internal shake. She did not, would not believe that of him. Not until she'd seen him, given him a chance to explain. Everything that he'd done so far, he'd had good reasons for, even if she hadn't understood most of them until it was too late.

"Darius told me I would be in danger from others of his kind," she continued, forcing herself to meet Alethia's eyes. "I don't believe that he sent you." She braced herself for Alethia's reaction, then said, "I will not cross that line until he tells me himself that it's safe."

The hint of pity had evaporated from Alethia's expression, replaced with the cold disdain she'd worn upon first seeing Tanitha. "You really have no idea how serious this situation is, do you?" she asked quietly, her voice barely audible over the low moan of the wind flowing through the chasm beneath them. "You have soul-bound the prince of our city without being similarly bound by him in return. Any command you gave him, he would be powerless to resist." Tanitha glanced away despite herself, the words sending a sharp surge of pain and shame through her. Alethia shook her head once, the wind blowing her hair around her in dark tendrils. "Did you really think we would allow him anywhere near you right now?" she asked.

Tanitha's breath caught. "Allow?" she asked. This time she wasn't able to keep the note of fear from her voice. Perhaps it was because it wasn't on her own behalf now. Darius was a prince. What exactly did Alethia mean, they wouldn't allow him to do something?

Alethia's expression was hard. "We have no idea what you might have ordered him to do," she said. "He is a danger to everyone around him as long as that's the case. Queen Naratha ordered him imprisoned." Tanitha felt the blood drain from her face. "I don't imagine being forced to do that to her own son has given her particularly kind feelings toward you," Alethia added.

"I didn't order him to do anything," Tanitha said, her voice wavering. "I would never do that to him. I didn't know about the soul-binding."

Alethia made a curt, dismissive motion. "You can plead your case after your soul isn't entangled with his," she said. Her expression hadn't softened one degree. "After he isn't a danger to all of us because of you ."

Tanitha's mind raced. If Alethia was telling the truth about the imprisonment— and Tanitha thought she must be, because otherwise surely Darius would have come to retrieve her himself— then Tanitha was in an incredibly dangerous position. She hadn't missed one very important fact, and that was that she did know one way that they could end her hold over Darius. She was certain that if she stepped over that line, her broken body would be at the bottom of the chasm seconds later.

Her hand twitched toward her midsection before she consciously stilled it, trying not to show the intense surge of fear that had just torn through her.

You know how highly demons prize children with their blood . Lithra's words from before came abruptly to mind. She wanted to protect this child with all of her being, but… was it possible that it could also protect her ? If she told Alethia she was with child, would Alethia stay her hand?

But… no, Tanitha realized, feeling sick. If she had been speaking with almost anyone else, it might have been a good strategy. But if Alethia was telling the truth about being betrothed to Darius, then she was the last person that Tanitha should tell. This was Darius' child, a possible future claimant to the throne. A future queen would have every motivation to ensure that such a child never drew its first breath.

Whether she spoke or remained silent, if she stepped across that line, she was as good as dead.

She looked up to meet Alethia's gaze once more. "I don't believe that you mean me anything but harm," she said, managing to keep her voice firm. "I am not going anywhere with you."

Alethia leaned forward slightly. "Let me explain something to you," she said, her voice deadly soft. "Prince Darius has already asked for mercy for you, though I can't imagine why. Out of respect for his wishes, and against my own better judgement, I am offering that mercy right now." Her dark eyes were as intensely focused as those of a lioness locked onto its prey. "If you refuse to return with me, I will leave, but not for long. And when I return, I will not be alone. There are any number of demons who would gladly help me in dismantling the protections on this place, even if we must tear down every stone in the walls to do it. And when we drag you from the ruins, you will beg for a clean death, because you will know that is the only remaining mercy we might be willing to grant." Tanitha's knees felt weak, and she kept herself very still, knowing that she couldn't show the fear that Alethia's words sent lancing through her.

Alethia folded her arms. "So," she said coldly. "You can come with me now to have the bond removed, or you can find out what sort of pain my people can devise for a human who thinks that she can bind one of our own to her will. Which will it be, Tanitha of Karazhen ?"

Tanitha stood rigid for a long moment, fighting to keep any reaction to Alethia's words from showing on her face. She realized that she had frozen, not even breathing, and she forced herself to inhale, the sharpness of the cold air helping to clear her thoughts.

"I don't think there's anything to be gained from us continuing this conversation," she managed. She might be terrified, but she'd walk to the Ashen Halls herself before she gave Alethia the satisfaction of seeing it. Despite how her instincts screamed against turning her back to this woman, she turned on heel and strode back across the causeway, the wind snatching at her hair and clothes as she walked.

"You've made your choice, then," Alethia called after her, her voice grim. Tanitha forced herself to continue at exactly the same pace, determined not to turn back, or worse, bolt forward. Alethia added, "Remember that I offered you a merciful end, when it comes to it."

Tanitha shoved the manor doors open, her jaw set as she entered. When she turned to close them again, the length of the causeway was empty but for the snow drifting across it. Alethia was already gone.

Her determination suddenly melting away, Tanitha slumped, barely managing to get the doors closed before her knees gave way. She leaned heavily against the wall, then slid to the ground, shaking. A merciful end , she'd said. Tanitha fought down a rise of nausea. Alethia had absolutely intended to kill her if she'd been foolish enough to believe her.

It took her several minutes to stop shaking, and even then, residual spasms still ran through her whenever she even began to think of standing. Fires above, how could this be happening? She squeezed her eyelids shut as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. What could she do? If the demons were able to reach her, they'd kill her, and it didn't seem that Darius would be able to protect her. Gods. They'd imprisoned him, their own prince.

What would they do to him if somehow she managed to escape them herself?

The question and the simple dread that came from not knowing the answer chilled her even more than the snow and the wind had. She drew her knees to her chest. What if she escaped, and Naratha decided that a prince with this sort of vulnerability was simply too large of a liability?

Tanitha pulled her knees even tighter to her chest. Queen Naratha wasn't a woman who took half measures. Tanitha had no idea how far she might be guided by anything resembling maternal affection. If Tanitha somehow escaped, Darius would at best be consigned to prison for the remainder of his life.

She couldn't do that to him. No matter what the truth might be about Alethia, he was in this situation in the first place because he'd protected Tanitha from harm. She wouldn't repay that with another betrayal. Even if it was possible that he'd betrayed her first.

She took a shuddering breath, thinking of the look in his eyes in that moment when she'd told him to wait. A passing amusement couldn't have inflicted that kind of pain on him. No, she was more than that to him. She was sure of it.

And she wasn't going to let him come to harm.

Slowly, she pulled herself to her feet. Darius might have kept the truth from her about any number of things. But he'd clearly been in a situation every bit as untenable as her own. She didn't believe he'd ever meant harm to come to her from it, and so she was not going to allow any harm to come to him in turn. She rested her hand against the hollow of her hip, the hollow that she knew would soon swell with the life she was carrying. She was not going to allow harm to come to him, or to his child. Their child.

Determination settled over her. Whatever Alethia might have said to the contrary, she was not powerless in this situation. The demons were prepared to tear this place down stone by stone to protect their prince? Well, Tanitha was ready to do the same to protect the man she loved.

She strode away from the door. She had leverage that the demons didn't know about, and the seeds of a plan. She was going to find a way to save them both.

She had to.

THE END