27. July 4th
27
July 4th
" S unday!" Carrie's voice snaps me out of my anger. It is pitched just a bit too loud. She comes charging from the river, covered in water, and launches herself at me.
"Hi, Carrie." I pat her gently on the back. Even with her face buried in my shoulder I can smell the alcohol coming off her. I am suddenly incredibly grateful Darius decided to join me. How was she planning on getting me in this state? "You good?"
"Yes!! I have been thinking bout you." She draws the words out as she pulls away from me.
I shiver as a gust of wind whips out at my now damp clothes.
With Carrie no longer pressed against me, I can see her. It hasn't been more than a few weeks, but she doesn't look good. Her eyes are bloodshot, her cheeks sunken in, her nose raw and red.
"Are you sure?" I whisper the words out softly. I need to tell her about Maxwell, warn her away from him, but I'm beginning to suspect she isn't with him by choice. I don't know what to do. It's hard to have the emotional capacity for others when I don't even have it for myself.
She furrows her eyebrows and annoyance whips across her face.
She doesn't have the chance to say anything prior to the devil himself approaching.
"Sunday School." Maxwell's lips curl up into a taunting smile. He wraps an aggressive arm around Carrie's shoulders. I watch as she tries to evade his touch. His eyes look past me. "Only one bodyguard today?" he asks maliciously.
I ignore him, focusing on Carrie. "I can help."
For a moment I see something deep and painful float through Carrie, almost as if she might just talk to me, but then Maxwell squeezes her shoulder.
"I've got to go! Time for shots!" She offers up a plastic smile and tries to escape Maxwell's imprisonment. I can see the moment he allows her, but red claw marks are left in his wake.
Someone steps in behind me. His smell is familiar and safe.
"Maxwell." Darius places his large comforting hands gently on my shoulders and rests his chin on my head. "We were just going to hop in the river before we lose the rest of this sunlight."
Maxwell flares his nostrils, but before this can escalate, Rayden walks up. "Lay off brother, let them have a good time." Rayden offers me a kind grin. "How you been, Miss Sunday? So glad you could make it."
Darius's strong fingers press into my shoulder bones. I don't think he realizes he's doing it. I reach up and cup one of his hands gently and the pressure lightens.
Irritation flashes across Maxwell's face, but something else entirely lights up Rayden's. I can't tell what it is, but it sends another shiver down my spine. This time it isn't from the wind.
Rayden hasn't given me any reason to mistrust him, but he was in a picture on the phone my brother had. Grayson told me to steer clear of him. He is Maxwell's brother. He is a Thorne.
Veronica comes to join our foray. I offer her my first genuine smile since getting here.
She doesn't wait for anyone, she simply snags me from Darius's hold and walks me to the river. I give him one backwards worried look, but he lifts his lips reassuringly.
"You looked like you could use an escape route," Veronica explains. She strips out of her clothes to her bathing suit and I do the same, throwing them in a pile on the ground.
I try to look for Carrie, but I don't see her.
Veronica watches me closely as we step into the river. Scrutinizing me. My reactions.
I hiss at the frigid water, but after a few moments, I grow accustomed to it and take a few more steps before sitting down. The rocks dig into my skin and I absentmindedly begin to play with them.
Veronica crosses her legs and lowers herself carefully beside me. She has somehow secured two beers in the few moments I turned away.
I watch her open both and she offers me one.
I don't really want it, but I also don't want to tell her no.
"I miss them both," Veronica states after a few more moments of silence. Her voice is off . Ladened in guilt. Something has changed since the last time we spoke. "Dating your brother meant I was around Tripp more than I wanted to be." She whips her hair back and rolls her lips between her teeth. "He wouldn't shut up about you."
"Auggie?" I'm watching her carefully as I sip the beer. I dig my hand into the sediment below, but the feeling on my skin causes a bolt of panic to shoot down my nerves.
I gasp in surprise and Veronica arches a brow and comments, "Tripp. That fucker loved you. Everyone knew it except Auggie. Well, maybe even he did." Veronica laughs, but there's no humor in it. "William isn't like the others, you know?"
The words catch me off guard and I choke on my sip of beer, spluttering for a moment. "What do you mean?" I feign ignorance.
She cackles. "You have no poker face Sunday." She pushes her shoulder into mine. "You don't have to believe me. You know this world, this town especially, is full of evil men. I've learned even more about it recently." Her eyes close, her teeth draw blood from her bottom lip. She offers me a crimson smile. "He does what he has to. He keeps me safe." She licks the liquid away before it can roll down her face. "Your brother did what he could to keep you safe and mine did the same."
Safe. Safe. Safe.
But from what?
A thought strikes me. "Why weren't you in the car with my brother and Tripp, Veronica?" The words come out a hoarse whisper. My skin prickles with goosebumps, my heart begins to pound against my chest.
Veronica's face goes white, her hand on the beer shakes, she bites down on her already bloody lip even harder. "Sunday. I care about you. I want the best for you. But this town is owned by a powerful family. The world is a woven tapestry of mistakes and choices. We never know what each day will bring, what our decisions can lead to. We can only guess. We can only hope that everything works out as best it can." Her glassy eyes meet mine. "I didn't know. I'm sorry," she rasps the words out before standing abruptly, she turns back one last time and I can see the blood from her lip has fallen to her chin now. She's a ghost. A person that should have been with Tripp and Auggie when they died. A living apparition. "If you ever need me, I am going to be your Auggie." She wipes her face and states the words with finality before joining the party goers on the shore.
I lose myself to my thoughts. This day has unraveled more than I expected. If I focus on all the pieces of the torn up puzzle, I don't have to look at the shape. I don't have to see that everyone in this town knew my brother and Tripp were murdered before I did. Because that's what she said wasn't it? William knew what was going to happen. He kept her from being with them.
"Leave her alone." William is the last person I want to see, but here he is, taking Veronica's place next to me.
"Leave me alone," I respond firmly.
He gets really close until his disgusting breath is in my ear. "I told you not to come. I am doing what I can, but I can't keep you safe, too. You need to leave, but it might already be too late."
Before I can really grasp what he is saying, he shoves me forward into the water, knocking the beer from my hand, and I screech in surprise.
He laughs severely before stomping away. I try to find the bottle, but the river has taken it. Swept it away.
I push myself up and get to my feet only to see that half the party is staring at me now.
The thirty or so eyes feel like thousands. As if I am an insect being examined under a microscope.
I need to get away, I can't breathe. I find myself looking for Darius, but I don't see him. I start splashing my way down the river instead.
The sun is setting. When it is dark enough, I will return, but right now I need to calm my nerves. To process the overwhelming dump of knowledge that has been thrown my way today.
And buried at the very bottom of that is the painful realization of how alone I am. That my parents haven't reached out once since they left me to deal with the aftermath of their favorite child's death. That the only people I have left to rely on are the O'Briens and they lied to me. They knew Tripp and Auggie were murdered, and they didn't even tell me, but instead of anger all I feel is a weighted sadness.
I continue my journey. The river has stayed shallow and calm through my walk, but as I continue, a disturbing feeling slithers up the back of my neck, prickling the skin. As if I am being watched. I whip around, but I don't see anyone. The partygoers are once more drinking and mingling on the water's edge, but they are now quite a distance away. I am right at the river's bend and soon I will be out of their sight.
I make the turn and a few more steps in, I freeze.
Everything is incredibly, eerily silent. The trees block any of the remaining sunlight and I am completely in shadows. And even more so? The unsettling feeling of déjà vu. This time it's accompanied by a scene that flashes to mind. Both familiar and unfamiliar. I don't have the chance to register what it is before it disappears and I am standing back in this moment.
But it leaves me terrified, on edge.
My instincts are screaming I should not be here . Across the river on the bank, I swear I see movement. Nothing has happened, but I know I should scream. I go to do just that but a hand wraps over my mouth.
"Hush it's just me, but we need to go. Now." Grayson's lips brush my ear as he speaks.
"I thought—"
"You can be angry with me later." He begins pulling me back the way we came. The river splashes loudly as we take large steps.
Behind us, there's noise, but I don't look back. I don't want to fall.
"It's going to be okay." I can barely hear him over the sound of our retreat.
What are we running from? Who are we running from?
When we are a bit closer to the party, Grayson drags us to the shore.
"I'm not done here," I say firmly, even as terror courses through me.
"I figured as much, you stubborn girl." His long fingers wrap around my wrist and we slowly make our way along the riverbank to the party. I try to look back from where we came, but I can't see anything.
"What was that ?" I don't bother to ask why he's here. I have quickly realized the men are tethered to me. Once again, I am grateful for it.
Rayden, William, Maxwell, and Mark are all notably absent from the party when we finally make our way back.
I stop where my clothes lay, Veronica's no longer with them. I pull from Grayson to tug them on and the motion catches his attention.
His eyes stutter on my chest. He gulps and glances away abruptly. "Put some fucking clothes on." He closes his eyes and rubs his temples. "Please," he adds begrudgingly.
"That's what I'm doing." I don't argue further. My heart is still racing, my nerves pumping with adrenaline as I slip my clothes on over my mostly dry swim suit. "Where's Darius?"
Grayson heaves out a heavy sigh. "Occupied."
We are two of the last people at the river, most have made their way up the hill to William's house. In the opposite direction is where we parked. Darius's truck is still there.
"Is he… okay?" My voice is suddenly unsure. The eldest O'Brien brother makes me feel the most small, inadequate, na?ve. But I also feel safe with him. Just like I do with all of them.
I watch his face. A wrinkle has formed between his eyebrows. He is difficult to read. But after a moment, I recognize the emotion–it's one that I have carried with me since the day of the memorial.
Apprehension.
"Fuck." He expels the word and gestures to the house. "Let's go. Lead the way. Axel is with Darius. He's going to be okay. He shouldn't have agreed to this. It isn't safe. I just want to keep you all alive." His voice softens as the words progress.
I'm a dog with a bone. A curious cat.
A stupid broken girl.
I know that this isn't a good idea, but I can't help it. A spark of worry twists in my gut about Darius. About whatever the fuck that was on the river, but I ignore it. I stamp it down. This is one chance I most likely won't have again. I don't plan on coming back here.
He captures my hand, laces our fingers, and without further ado, I guide us to wherever my unrelenting mind commands.