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25. July 4th

25

July 4th

F eeling properly chastised, I rip the wet white shirt off. Thankfully my phone did not get soaked and it lights up as I remove it from my bra.

The giraffe is in the closet and I make quick work of switching the SIM cards back before changing into fresh clothes. I put a bathing suit on underneath. I need to kickstart the next step of my plan into action.

I am doing my best to keep my warring emotions at bay. I need to investigate this for myself. Tomorrow I will allow myself another meltdown, but today I need to keep my shit together.

"You're going to fuck everything up!" Grayson's shouting startles me out of my haze.

Fully dressed, I step out of the closet. Darius has joined the other two brothers. He seems to always be the voice of reason. That is further evidenced now.

Darius has a hand on each of the brother's shoulders. "Go, cool down. She and I will spend the day together." He gives me a soft smile. "Isn't that right, Wildflower?"

Grayson grumbles. He shrugs out of Darius's hand and points at his two brothers. "We promised. We can't keep doing this shit." He turns to face me and I am shocked by the way his eyes soften as they meet mine. "Please, listen to Darius today? We need you to start trusting us. Aren't we proving to you that we have the best intentions?" He gives Axel a look. "Aren't I proving to you that I just want what's best for you?" His voice is husky and intense. He steps to me until we are only inches apart. "Please, I'm begging you, Sunday. Don't do it. Whatever you plan on doing or wherever you plan on going. Just stay home, just tonight. Tomorrow we'll take you back to the marina, okay?" His words are wrapped in desperation, I can almost taste it as it snakes into my throat.

I swallow them down. Of everything I have done since this entire ordeal started, this is the only time I have felt true guilt in Grayson's presence.

Doing my best to shift my face to understanding, I look up, biting my lip. "Stay home today? You promise tomorrow I can go to the marina and leave this house? I'm going stir crazy." My voice sounds off, even to my own ears.

A dimple I hadn't noticed before forms on one of Grayson's cheeks as he offers me a half smile. He reaches up, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. His hand stays in place and his long fingers wrap around my neck. "You look like such a sweet innocent girl, and I know it's hypocritical, but I don't trust you." He applies pressure to my neck. It is just on the cusp of pain. "What can I do to convince you to believe me, to stay here?"

Uncertainty wars internally, and over Grayson's shoulder, both his brothers are watching this interaction with calculating eyes.

My eyes heat with unshed tears, not from sadness but from frustration. I am going to the river party today whether he wants me to or not, but I need to convince him I'm not. I return my attention to Grayson. I can tell the moment he sees the glassiness because his expression shifts to uncertainty. "I'm not going anywhere. I can't keep dealing with this. You all fucking know it, so I might as well say it. I was in love with your brother. I loved Tripp. Not only did my brother die, but so did my boyfriend. So did the man I thought I was going to marry."

Grayson rears back as if I had slapped him. Whatever he expected me to say, it wasn't that. But even with his reaction I can tell he knew . The news doesn't shock him, the surprise was that I told him.

"So, you all knew? And you talk to me about trust? I am living with three practical strangers! You brought me into this house where Tripp used to live. You watch my every move! For fuck's sake you won't even let me sleep alone at night. You treat me with kid gloves, as if something is going to happen to me. What is it that you aren't telling me?" By the end of my outburst I am practically screaming the words out, my hands gesticulating in the air.

Axel pushes Grayson out of the way. Grayson is apparently so shocked by my eruption he doesn't even resist. Axel takes me by the shoulders and shakes me. "You're a stupid, little girl! Of course we aren't going to tell you everything. And you loved my brother? So, what? I loved him too, but now he's gone. And the only people left that you can trust are in this fucking room. We are people, too, with feelings. And maybe if you opened your goddamn eyes, you would see that we are what you need. But no! You are a woman on a suicide mission. We know what Auggie and Tripp were up to. Sticking their noses where they shouldn't." He's snarling in my face now. His deep voice has taken on a guttural tone. "And you know what? We know that it got them killed. But what the fuck does it matter? It won't change anything. People are falsely imprisoned. It happens. A lot. And you know what that means? The guilty are never punished."

"You know?" The words come out a whisper, I am watching Darius closely. He is the only brother that I consider a friend . The only one that I was starting to truly rely on.

He averts his eyes.

Before I can discern what is happening, my hands have formed fists.

I begin hitting Axel as hard as I can on the chest. "You knew? That my brother was murdered? That Tripp was murdered?"

"Stop her," Darius murmurs the words. "Before she hurts herself."

I cackle a laugh taken straight from the insanity of this moment. My heart pulsates. I can see red. But it's not in anger. The red is crimson blood. It soaks into this moment.

Betrayal.

Axel catches my next punch, but I don't let it stop me. I use a leg and start kicking at his shin. "You are right! You are a fucking monster. How could you? And you knew that I loved him? How could you all?" I don't realize that I am sobbing until my vision blurs. "You kissed me… you…. Why would you?" I lose my fight. My cries escape in painful hiccups.

Axel reaches for me, but I step back until I am flat against the closet door. A cornered animal. The prey. The Little Lamb he calls me.

Shame burrows into my stomach.

"I should have gone to my grandmother's."

"We can't keep you safe there." Grayson's monotone words slice through my emotional turmoil.

"That. Isn't. Your. Job," I clip the words out. "You all can fuck off. I may be stuck in this house, but I am through with you following me around. Of your overbearing nature. I will go back to work tomorrow at the marina, but tonight? I am going to do whatever the fuck I want." Instead of feeling the hurt by their betrayal I allow the fury to seep into my veins. It is keeping me from breaking down again.

"It isn't safe." Darius's voice is calm, placating. He tries to hide it, but I can hear the hitch of panic in the middle.

"I don't care. Unless you have some answers or there is anything else you want to tell me?"

The three brothers all look to each other.

"I didn't think so. Well listen to me fucking carefully–" I inhale a deep breath, wipe away my tears, and square my shoulders "–if I see any of you at the party, I am going to leave and I am never coming back. I will convince my parents to let me stay alone or I will suck it up and stay with my grandmother for the foreseeable future." It's a bluff… partially. I plan on sticking around until those guilty get the karma they deserve.

I don't wait for their answer. My phone is on my person and that is all I need. I push past Axel, I try to step around Darius but he extends his arm, blocking the doorway.

If it weren't for the concern written plainly in his flat lips and furrowed brow, I would have ignored him entirely.

"It isn't safe. I know you are looking for clues or whatever fucked thing you are wanting to find, but please, at the very least, let me come with?"

"You won't stop me?" I question accusatorily.

His throat bobs as he swallows thickly. "Not unless—"

"There is no ‘unless.'" I pull free, but he catches me again.

"I won't stop you," he promises this time.

"Fine." Even with this revelation, I need him more than I care to admit. I need his support, his calming aura. He makes me feel like everything is going to be okay. "But you follow my lead. And they–" I jerk my head towards Axel and Grayson "–aren't coming."

"Wait, hold the fuck on." Axel's tone is heated.

"Agreed," Darius says firmly. "You two will stay clear. Got it?"

"No," Axel argues. "She can't just throw a fucking tantrum and we listen to her."

"This is your fault. Again ." Grayson's face is resolved. He lets the air out of his lungs in a long shaky exhale. "Be safe?" He grabs Axel's shoulders, holding him in place. "Go." The word is a whisper.

Darius nods once before he pulls us out the room. "Text your ride."

"How do you—" I don't bother finishing the question. I know what was disclosed earlier is the last of the information the O'Brien brothers will be divulging to me for quite some time. I pull out my phone and shoot Carrie a text that I no longer need a ride. I don't wait for a response before tucking it back into my pocket.

We are halfway to the front door now and my eyes catch on the picture of Axel and Tripp that I spotted the first day here. I stutter to a stop, even as Darius tries to yank me forward.

"I had it wrong." I had never mistaken the twins before, except for this picture. I thought I knew who Tripp and Axel were with certainty, but looking at it now? "How did they change so much?" The sweet soft twin looking back at me I can now clearly tell is Axel. It is in the way he stands, even as a child. It is the weight of his eyes, the surety of his stance, the slope of his shoulders. Meanwhile, Tripp is frowning, staring at something over the camera, he looks annoyed and like he's ready to run off as soon as he can.

Darius is watching me, but he doesn't say anything. He just allows me a few more moments to process before he is tugging me again, this time gently. "Come on, we need to go before Axel loses it."

"What happened to him? Why is he so different? Was it just his time in prison?" I don't know why I am asking. Why I even care. Actually I do, but I am going to continue to lie to myself.

Axel has gotten under my skin.

Darius doesn't bother answering, instead he drags me until we are through the garage door. There are three vehicles; his truck, Grayson's car, and Axel's motorcycle.

A childish part of me wants to kick over Axel's motorcycle, but I refrain. I should be equally mad at all three brother's, but for some reason I thought Axel wouldn't bullshit me.

I hop into the truck. Darius gives me one long, hard look.

"Drive," I demand. I cross my arms and stare pointedly away.

He does.

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