32. Chapter 32

Chapter thirty-two

T here was a ringing in the back of my head. One moment, I was standing, and the next, I was bent down next to Callum with his eyes open, a vacant stare. I shook his shoulder, demanding he wake up. He was supposed to grow old and die. I was supposed to get years with him, decades.

I could barely register someone trying to talk to me; my entire focus was on my sweet little bird. Blood oozed out of him. My shadows called to him, begging him to smile at me and tell me that this was all some elaborate prank. That he was fine. He was fine. He had to be fine!

My throat ached; from what, I didn’t know. I could feel my body rocking back and forth, cradling his head in my arms. A noise rose from me, a sound so guttural that I knew something was breaking inside me.

“Rose!”

The name snapped me out of my trance and I looked over to see Bastian had a knife drawn, facing toward a smiling Emilia, and Soren kneeling on the other side of Callum, trying to talk to me.

“Rose, come back!”

I blinked at him a few times, his face blurring every time I opened my eyes. I was crying. I tried to do as he asked, but the words wouldn’t form. It was as if all the air had been sucked out of me. I couldn’t breathe.

Breathe, dammit!

I could barely see Soren’s eyes widen. He leaned over Callum’s body and shook me violently.

“Rose! Stay with me.” Soren reached down and touched Callum’s throat. His shoulders drooped, and I couldn't understand the sadness in his eyes.

Callum’s hurt. I need to heal him. Right. I can do that.

I bit into my hand, opened his mouth, and pleaded, “Drink, Callum. Come on, drink.” I kept thinking that over and over and over.

When his mouth filled with my blood and he wasn’t swallowing, fear shot through me. No. This had to work. My thoughts turned into a desperate plea. He had to wake up. I needed him to wake up. I could fix him. I could fix anything with my magic.

“We need to move.”

I couldn’t focus on Soren. Not when I didn’t understand what was happening and couldn’t comprehend why Emilia hurt him. It didn’t matter. I needed to save him.

Shadows began to surround us, creating a barrier that whipped around the four of us—protecting us. My emotions were so heightened that I had created a tunnel of wind, hair flying everywhere. All noise drowned out except for the one line flying through my mind. Everything would be fine.

Everything had to be fine.

I was pulled back and away from Callum. I tried to fight them off, using my powers to send them away, when someone grabbed my face, forcing me to look at them.

Soren’s eyes were looking at me with pity, and I said as my voice cracked, “Why won’t you let me help him? You will see… He will wake up.”

“No, he won’t. He’s gone, Rose.” Soren’s words were so soft.

I pushed him away from me, unable to control the energy flowing through my body. I felt hot all over. I looked back down at Callum’s cloudy, vacant eyes. My sweet little bird.

Bastian collapsed next to us, body shaking as he grabbed Callum’s shoulders and crushed himself against the lifeless body, arms hanging limp by his side. At the sight, all of my anger, regret, sadness, hope, and love left me. I couldn’t feel…anything. The shadows dispersed, and all I could hear was clapping.

My eyes slowly roved over to Emilia and focused on her. I was too out of it to notice before, but I froze. This all had to be a nightmare. Another one of my more vivid nightmares. Her eyes were a bright, golden color, alight with mischief and violence. She was laughing to herself, holding a blade dripping with blood and clapping her hands hard enough to permeate the silent ballroom.

“I forgot how powerful you were. You are a wonder.”

I knew that voice, knew that laugh. I hadn’t silenced her; she’d found a new host.

“Goddammit, Emilia! Why would you do this?” Bastian’s voice cracked, spit flying from his mouth as he screamed.

“Bastian, that’s not Emilia.” I still didn’t want to believe it; I needed her to say it. Say what I knew to be true.

Soren stiffened next to me. “What do you mean?”

I swallowed. “Circe?”

She gave me a knowing smile.

All the color drained from my face. “How… How is this possible?”

“Are you truly this dense?” Emilia’s voice was no longer her own. It was stronger, more confident.

“Circe?” Soren looked confused and then immediately tried to stand in front of me. “That can’t be possible,” he said more to himself, working through how this could happen.

I ignored him and bared my teeth. “Then spell it out for me.”

She ignored him, not seeing him as a threat, and talked directly to me over his shoulder. “Do you not remember the promise I made to you?”

I remembered every word. How could I not? It had haunted me in every nightmare.

Her smile slowly got bigger and bigger as I recited her words from so long ago. “All you know will fade like mist. As you have shown the heart of a beast, so shall you live as one. Silence your prison, loneliness your true companion. Isolated. Unloved. Cursed. Only when our tangled thread unbinds, can you reclaim what was lost.”

“Poetic, is it not?”

Just hearing her voice made me want to strangle her, but I couldn’t, not when she had latched onto Emilia. How did that even happen? Or a better question, when did that happen?

“Get out of her!”

“Why would I do that? She already permitted me entry into her body.” Circe said nonchalantly. “I would have rather had you, Callie. I bound myself to you all those years ago, believing I could return one day. I’ve tried to break you. Consume you. You were supposed to be my vessel… But Emilia… She was so easy, especially when your attention turned to the maggots.”

That couldn’t be true. “Stop lying!”

“It is no lie.” Circe played with Emilia’s hair for a moment and then looked down at her hands. “You only took her in to replace Annabelle, and she knew it. She knew she was just a little doll for you to care for.”

Did Emilia feel that way? My heart skipped a beat thinking about all the horrible thoughts Circe had implanted inside her mind. “You will leave her body alone. You will depart from the castle and leave forever.”

She barked a laugh. “I will do no such thing.”

Soren was still in front of me, and I saw out of my peripheral sight that Bastian had come up on the other side of me, ready to fight. Each was poised and ready to attack.

Circe looked at both of them and laughed. “You think you can take me on? How foolish of you to presume it would be so easy.”

“Emilia! Are you still in there?” Bastian called. “Fight her!”

Circe rolled her glowing golden eyes and flicked her fingers. Both of the brothers were flung backward and slid along the polished floor.

I gasped and turned to find Bastian had collided with the table, breaking a piece of the leg off. He made a small sound, and staggered to get up. Soren had flown over the table, knocking into a chair and slamming into the floor.

My shadows roared to my lifted palm, ready to defend them and fight Circe to ensure that no one else got harmed by her hand. I flung my shadows toward Circe, but she sighed, not worried in the slightest. I wasn’t sure when she erected a barrier, but my shadows hit something and swirled around her body, unable to strike her.

“Are you done with your tantrum?”

I ground my teeth together, and called upon every shred of power I possessed. My body was overheating, and my head was pounding under the pressure my power was exerting.

I was almost brought to my knees as I pushed every ounce of my energy at Circe, willing her barrier to break. Her smirk waned slightly. She put her hands up in front of her and chanted something under her breath as cuts began to show up along her pale skin. I smiled wickedly; I could see she was almost brought down to her knees. She fisted her hands, and the shadows evaporated into nothing.

Blood leaked from Circe’s nose. She wiped it off with the back of her hand and said, “Now now, Callie, you don’t want to hurt your precious Emilia, do you?”

My shadows immediately dispersed. I focused back on Circe and remembered that it was Emilia’s face that was staring right back. How could I have forgotten that?

I could sense Bastian and Soren getting back up, ready to fight right alongside me, but I couldn’t allow them to get in the way. I couldn’t allow them to be hurt. Before I could do anything, they both collapsed where they stood. Not moving.

“Bastian! Soren!” I almost ran to them, but didn’t want to turn my back on Circe. “What did you do?”

“They are just resting for a moment while the women speak.”

I wanted to give Circe a chance to do the right thing, so I pleaded to her, “Atone for your sins, Circe. Depart from this world doing something good for a change.”

“Good?” She played around with the word, as if tasting it on her tongue. “Good? What a callous word it is. It could mean many things to different people. To me, I was doing something good for my people. I broke all the rules because I believed in you.”

“I know you did,” I uttered, desperately trying to appeal to the softer side of her. The very side that had wanted to spare me so long ago. “I made a mistake. I was young and scared. You were trying to save me from my father.” My vision grew cloudy. “I am sorry, Circe. I am so sorry. But, please… Please spare Emilia.”

“I begged your father to spare my people… You know what he did?”

I didn’t answer her.

“Nothing.”

I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I propelled my shadows to her once more and just as they were about to strike, she deflected them and shot a blast of energy my way. I wasn’t expecting it and was hit in the head, and knocked over. My wrist bent back at an ungodly angle, and I screamed at the pain.

I moved to stand quickly, getting my bearings, cradling my wrist into my chest as the healing process took effect, but not as quickly as before.

What was happening?

Before I could call my shadows again, Circe flicked her wrist to the right, and my head whipped with her movement. She flicked her hand to the left and my head followed the direction. She squeezed her hand, staring at my leg, and I could feel the bones crunching together as if an invisible hand were squeezing it.

The pain surged through me like a relentless tide, each wave threatening to pull me under. I could feel the familiar darkness closing in; if it didn’t stop, I knew I’d slip into oblivion. Desperate for a lifeline, I clung to the fading echoes of my loved ones—their laughter, their warmth, despite everything that had transpired between us. But as the shooting pain intensified, one face rose above the rest, sharp and clear amid the chaos— Annabelle . I clung to her memory in the darkness, using it as my anchor to climb out of the pit Circe had tried to keep me in, driving me forward with an unyielding force. I refused to allow Circe to win; I would fight through this torment, fueled by the ghost of Annabelle’s presence.

I shrieked, “You murdered Annabelle!” The words that I knew to be true. “I know you did; I heard you. You were going to kill my entire family.”

Her lip pulled back, baring her teeth at me. “I was going to save you. I was going to give you a home! A family that understood you, that was like you. One who loved you, not in spite of, but because of what you are.”

“You never asked me if that’s what I wanted.” I could feel my bones healing itself, but slowly. I needed a little more time.

“Your ancestors killed thousands of my people, but even worse, many of your own people. Hysteria has killed for centuries. Even now, it rules in that little village who sacrifices children to the beast. I wanted to end it and thought you had the nerve to do it with me. But you don’t. You never had courage. Emilia, on the other hand? She yearned for revenge. She wanted the same thing I did, and I felt her pain when you denied her. When you kept her hidden in these walls instead of giving her the strength she needed to fight her demons.”

My vision grew hazy, and through the pain, I felt longing. “I was trying to protect her.”

“You wanted to keep her to yourself. You couldn’t let her go.” Her voice cracked. “I felt the same about you… I didn’t want to let you go. I had grown to care for you. I swore to my coven you were different from your father. That you would save us. But you betrayed me, and you betrayed Emilia.”

I pulled my power to me, discreetly gathering as much as I could. “I love Emilia.”

“You loved that she was a cure for your loneliness.”

She sent out a blast of power toward me, pushing me back. My body lifted from the ground and slammed into one of the pillars, knocking the breath from my lungs. I heard something snap as an agonizing pain shot up through my left leg. I crashed to the ground, and tried to stand but collapsed.

She kept going, never easing. Sending her power at me, and where it made contact, I was bruised, cut, and beaten. I could hardly breathe; my lungs wouldn’t expand fully. I couldn’t take much more of this. If I died, they would be next. I couldn’t die and leave them here with Circe.

She was walking toward me, and for the first time since that fateful day, I felt frightened. “Circe! No, Circe!” True, undiluted fear quickly ran through my veins at her quick approach. She was far stronger than I was. I wasn’t going to win. I was about to lose everything.

She raised her hands, and I quickly shouted, “I will be your tool. I will be your slave. This I vow.”

She bent down, and grabbed me by the throat. “I can’t trust you.”

“You were the only reason I didn’t completely lose my mind. You have been by my side since I was a child. Why? Why would you stay with me? Was it just to torment me?”

“I was trying to break you,” she reminded me.

“I don’t believe you,” I said.

She pondered a moment, fingers digging into my throat. “Let’s make a deal. I will let Emilia go if you freely invite me in.”

The idea panicked me, but I didn’t have to think about it long. “Fine, but then what?”

“Give up your life for theirs.”

“How many people will you hurt if I do?”

“That is not for you to decide.”

I must not have answered Circe quickly enough and she brought the blade up to Emilia’s neck.

“Stop! I give myself freely over to you, Circe, as long as you make a vow to not harm them. Don’t harm my family.”

She smiled wickedly at me. She’d won.

I looked over at their slumped forms. I would miss them. All of them. Please forgive me.

“Deal. I will spare them.”

I nodded, bared my teeth, and pushed myself from the floor. If I was going to give myself over, then I would do it with dignity. My wounds had somewhat healed, the pain lessened, but the limp in my foot was still present. I slowly made my way over to her.

“No! Don’t give her what she wants!” I tensed hearing Soren’s voice. They must have woken up. I blocked him out, knowing that I needed to focus on what came next. I couldn’t have any distractions. I could see him waking Bastian out of the corner of my eye, sending my shadows over toward them to hold them on the ground.

“Thea! We can figure this out! Just stop!” Bastian hands were under him, using all his strength to get up. I sighed at his tenacity; I prayed he’d never change.

Circe placed the bloody knife in the belt of her dress and put both her hands around my face. “We are going to do wondrous things together. Wicked things against those who would hunt us. Our people will rise once again because of you.”

I stared at her. My mind cleared, waiting for the intrusion—for the moment I would no longer be myself. I wonder if it would be any different from how it currently was. Would I still be conscious of what she was going to do? Would I have to witness all of the atrocities I allowed to happen because I refused to consent to the murder of my family? Were their lives more important than the lives of millions?

I closed my eyes and felt a burning sensation start at my face where her hands were and then spread throughout my body. My lungs felt like I had breathed in too much smoke. I knew whatever power Circe had stored within her was nothing short of spectacular. She had centuries worth of others’ powers within her, fighting each other for dominance. It made my blood boil.

I could tell that I was screaming, pleading with Circe to hurry up and put me out of this misery. I couldn’t tell if she had so much raw power that it was taking a while to transfer all of it to me, or if she was doing this as punishment.

I wasn’t sure how long the process was, but the pain ceased, the burning extinguished and I could hear her in my head.

“Ah. It feels so good to be powerful again.”

No. That wasn’t in my head. She had control, but I was still present. I was still present!

I could hear her laughter growing louder and louder, but I didn’t focus on that. No. All I could focus on was Emilia’s terrified eyes as they changed back to her honeyed eye color.

Her hands were still on my face. She tried to talk, but I simply gave her a wide smile. What must I look like to terrify Emilia? I used the rest of my energy to force Circe to the side of my mind. I could feel her confusion and panic as I grabbed the blade from Emilia’s side and lined it up to my heart.

“She was wrong,” I said to her, voice shaky and low. “I never meant to replace Annabelle. I never meant to keep you. You are not a doll. I loved you the moment I saw you. I have been afraid to let you go.”

“I know,” she said weakly. “I know.”

“I am so sorry, Emilia. I should have been paying more attention. I should have seen what was coming.”

Emilia’s voice was a whimper when she said, “I should have told you she was in my head…but I was scared. I didn’t know what was happening to me.”

“I’m going to fix this.”

I clenched my teeth together. Circe knew what I was about to do; she was erratic, trying her best to claw back up to take control of my body. Once she did, there would be no going back. It was now or never.

I looked back into Emilia’s eyes and said in a strained voice, “Please take care of yourselves.”

I didn’t hesitate as I plunged the dagger straight into the middle of my chest. I felt a pulsing energy burst out of me. I could feel blood flowing out of my mouth, my hands turning slick, and I fell backward onto the ground.

Circe’s screams of rage grew softer until they were no more. A calm washed over me—enveloping me in a warm blanket.

As I started to close my eyes, I suddenly became overwhelmingly sleepy. I saw the brothers and Emilia bent over me, tears cascading down their horror-stricken faces, begging and pleading with me to not leave them. I wanted to reply to them, but words wouldn’t form. It was probably better that way. I might ruin their last moment of me.

My last thought… Goodbye.

I opened my eyes and squinted at how bright the sun was shining down on me. I sat up and looked down to find Callum lying on his back, hands above his head, beside me.

“Callum?” My voice wavered.

He turned his head and smiled brightly at me. There was not a hint of blood on him; he wasn’t in pain, no visible injuries. He seemed to be blissful and happy.

“Your grace…”

“Yes, Callum?”

“If you weren’t a human, what would you be?”

I stared down at him, blinked a few times, unsure if I heard him right, and then looked around again. We were in a memory. This happened sometime last year. Is this what death was like? Living within a memory of your choosing?

I slid next to him, wrapped my arms around his middle, and rested my head on his chest. He didn’t hesitate or say anything as he leaned his head on mine, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

I still didn’t have the words to answer him, and he continued on, “If I wasn’t a human, I would want to be a crow.”

A sob almost broke out of me. I wish I would have treated him better, cherished him when I had the chance. I remembered thinking he was a silly little human. Why on earth would he want to be a crow of all animals?

I found my voice and asked, “A crow?”

His chest rumbled. “Yes. They are intelligent, like me. Can build basic tools, like me. And they have an excellent memory, also like me.”

I lifted my head to see his face when he said the next part. “I would be able to spread my wings and fly wherever I wanted. Feel the air beneath my wings. Freedom.”

I remembered feeling vexed by his admission, thinking that he wanted to leave me, chastising myself for a moment over keeping him. Even once believing that humans would always disappoint in the end.

I swallowed. He traced my face lightly with his finger, his eyes searching mine. For what, I wasn’t sure, but it didn’t matter. I was content.

“And every night, I would come back here to gaze upon your beauty. To never know what it meant to hold you, but be so very blessed to just be near you.”

I lifted my head. There was so much that I wanted to tell him, so much to apologize for. I felt something wet on my face and knew that I was crying again. I pulled away from him and sat up, looking away. Not wanting him to see me cry.

I wiped the tears from my face, and collected myself.

When my breathing evened and the pounding in my head eased, I was about to cuddle back with Callum, but froze when he said, “You don’t belong here, Calathea.”

I whipped my head around to him, confused. “What?”

I thought this was the afterlife, forever lying in the grass of eternity. I was content with that. I didn’t want to leave the others, but I knew that my sacrifice would keep them safe.

He just smiled at me.

“I—I don’t want to leave you. Please don’t—”

“Hey, hey, Calathea, look at me.” My lips thinned to keep the sob from escaping. I shook my head; I didn’t want to listen to him.

“It isn’t your time yet.”

“But—”

“Emilia, Soren, and—” his voice hitched and cracked when he said, “Bast needs you. They all need you.”

I reached out and wrapped my hands around the nape of his neck. “ I need you. I have always needed you.” I was desperate.

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled away slightly to stare into my eyes, “I will always be with you. There will never be a moment when I am not looking over you.”

My lip quivered. I hugged him with all of my strength and whispered, “I love you.”

He wrapped his hands once more around me. “And I love you. I always have.”