Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

" E liza? Siena?"

Eliza exchanged a look of unease from across the breakfast table with Siena.

"We're in here!" Siena called out as both of them got to their feet. Levi had only left the night before. Eliza prayed he was returning to tell them that Fitz was fine and, hopefully, had agreed to accompany him here while they made a true plan. The urgency in his voice, however, had her heart beating so rapidly that she imagined it was about to gallop right out of her chest.

Levi pushed into the room, rather disheveled. Eliza realized that her request for him to go to London was a huge one, for despite its proximity to his estate, he had returned to the city only a couple of times since he had been injured. She knew, however, that Fitz was the one person who he would be willing to take the chance to help.

"What is it?" Eliza asked, crossing the room toward him, knowing that she was being rather rude, but she couldn't help herself. She needed the truth immediately. "Where is Fitz?"

"Fitz is… at his townhouse in London."

"Alone?" she insisted, wondering why on earth Levi would have left him there.

"No. I hired another detective to look after him and make sure he is well cared for. A detective who might actually make a difference, unlike the first one. Archibald, I believe his name is."

"Why did you hire him and not Fitz?" Eliza asked and, when Levi didn't respond, Siena placed a hand on her husband's arm.

"Why do you not sit down and tell us what you have discovered? I shall pour you some tea."

Levi nodded, taking a seat rather woodenly, running a hand over his face. Eliza retook her chair, trying to be as patient as possible and not demand knowledge on Fitz.

"When I arrived in London, Fitz was already at home," he began, clearing his throat, not looking either of them in the eye. "He had been out at White's with a few other gentlemen. They had just sat down when he had a drink."

He paused, and this time Eliza couldn't help but ask, "And?".

"And then, apparently, he lost consciousness."

"What?" she couldn't help from practically shrieking out, as she jumped out of her chair. "Is he—did he?—"

"He is alive," Levi said, reading her thoughts. "But he has not yet awoken."

Eliza felt as though she was going to faint herself – and she was not a woman who had ever been prone to fainting. She fanned her face and immediately sensed Siena at her side, her hands coming under her elbow and shoulder as she guided her back into the chair, placing a cool, damp cloth against her cheek.

"Eliza, take some deep breaths," Siena said, looking over to her husband, who remained as stoic as ever. "Do not forget that you must stay strong for your baby."

"Right," she said, trying to do as Siena said and breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth to hold onto the moment. "Was a physician called?"

"Yes," Levi confirmed. "It was through him that I learned about this detective who is apparently competent and not just out to collect the money of noblemen. The physician assessed Fitz and, from what he can determine, it seems that Fitz was poisoned."

"He should never have gone to London," Eliza whispered.

"I agree," Levi said. "But there is nothing we can do at this point. The physician was able to induce him to vomit which hopefully cleared some of it from his system, but Fitz ingested enough to affect him. Doctor Hudson wasn't certain he could do anymore as we don't know what type of poison it was."

"Could the glass provide a clue?" Eliza said, wrinkling her nose.

"It was gone by the time someone realized what had happened." Levi appeared rather uneasy as though he was trying to determine what to say before he continued, "The rest of the glasses remained on the table, so it is likely that someone purposefully removed Fitz's."

"Whoever he was with likely was the one who poisoned him, then," Eliza breathed.

"Likely, although there were quite a few gentlemen together," Levi said. "The detective is looking into it while the physician told us that all we can do is wait and hope that it clears out on its own and that Fitz will fight to live."

"I must go to him," Eliza said, standing again, causing the footman to step forward, the poor man likely uncertain of just when she would ever make her mind up.

"I agree," Levi said. "I can take you there."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "You should both remain out of harm's way."

"We must make sure that you arrive safely," Siena said softly. "Why do the two of us not ride with you in the carriage to London?"

She looked to Levi, who nodded his agreement.

"Very well," she said, about to advise her maid of their plans before she stopped and looked to Levi once more. "In your opinion, what are the chances that he will be well after this?"

Levi, never one to sweeten the truth, as distressing as it might be, met her gaze and didn't hesitate before he said, "Fifty percent."

"Well," she said, "let's see if we can make that fifty just a little stronger."

It was truly only a few hours until Eliza was in London at Fitz's – their – townhouse, but it seemed like the time had passed interminably.

They walked together into the house so that Levi could check on Fitz once more. As much as Eliza wanted to race to Fitz, she wanted time alone with him and asked Levi to see him first.

Siena sat beside her holding her hand as they waited in chairs outside the room. Eliza tapped her foot worriedly until Levi returned.

She stood, rushing to enter, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Eliza," he said. "I must tell you one thing."

"What is it?"

"The Fitz in that bed does not look like the Fitz you know. But I need you to be strong, and to tell him that you know that he can get through this. Will you do that?"

She nodded woodenly. "Of course."

"Very good," he said. "Thank you for allowing me to see him."

"How could I not?" she said with one last glance to Siena for strength. "Thank you for being here."

Siena let out a slight chortle of disbelief.

"Eliza, you planned my wedding escape! I would do anything for you."

Eliza nodded. "We are there for each other." She took a breath. "Here I go."

The moment she was through the door, she realized why Levi had been trying to prepare her. The Fitz lying in the bed was not the Fitz she knew.

This Fitz appeared sickly, pale, and completely still but for the very slight movement of his chest up and down.

That was the most shocking part of it all.

The Fitz she knew never stopped moving. Even at rest, he was always twitching, touching her, rocking from one side to the other. She had never known Fitz to be so motionless. It unnerved her, and for a moment she couldn't move herself, so caught off guard was she by the Fitz who confronted her.

But he was Fitz. Her Fitz. Still here.

Which was the thought that broke her.

With a sob, she dropped her hands and rushed over to his side, running her hands over his cheeks and down his arms, trying to infuse some life back into his body.

"Fitz," she cried out, her tears finally released as she no longer contained them but instead allowed them to flow freely as she felt everything that had welled up within her for so long. "Fitz," she sobbed, placing her hand on his chest, listening to the slow beat of his heart beneath his ribs and under her ear as she watched his face, completely devoid of emotion or reaction.

"Come back to me," she whispered, turning and cupping his jaw in her hands. "Please. You cannot leave me. Not when I have only just found you. I need you. The baby needs you. And not just because we need you to provide for us. We need you because we love you and I cannot imagine a life without you now. You are happiness and spring and sunshine. You are the spark within my soul and I need you to continue. Do you understand me?"

Her despair fused with anger at the thought of him being taken from her as she reached out and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him slightly, just enough that he moved a bit with her, but not on his own.

"You should never have left Appleton. We knew this would happen, and I am so angry that you would think that putting yourself in harm's way would help any of us. Do you not understand that you and I are part of one another now? That if anything happens to you then I will lose part of myself, for that is what you have become? When we married, we were joined together as man and wife, and I do not want to be without you."

Seeing her words were not working, she leaned forward much more gently, knowing she had lost any control of her emotions but no longer caring. She cupped his face in her hands once more, hating the coldness of his skin beneath her fingertips as she tilted her head forward to rest her forehead against his.

"Come back to me, Fitz," she whispered. "I love you."

She leaned in, and, despite wondering for a moment if she was doing the right thing or had lost all rational thought, she pressed her lips against his.

It was an odd sensation, for the Fitz she knew was never at all passive in his kisses but always the aggressor, giving her all that he had to offer. Even if she initiated any contact, he was always quick to eagerly respond.

She leaned over him, her lips pressed against his, not moving, not seeking anything but connection.

Which was why she was utterly shocked when his lips moved beneath hers.

She pulled back suddenly, wondering if she had imagined it, or if his body had reacted without conscious thought. She stared at him, trying to determine what had just happened – and then screamed aloud when his lips moved.

"What kind of kiss was that?"

His words were gruff and scratchy, as though his vocal cords didn't properly work, but Eliza could not have cared less how he sounded.

"Fitz!" she shouted as she practically jumped on him, tapping his cheeks with her palms, urging him to properly wake up. "Fitz, are you awake?"

"I am now," he mumbled. "Hard for a man to sleep with such an enticing woman lying on top of him."

"My goodness," she said, her sobs beginning afresh, although now they were filled with relief that he had awoken and that there was, above all else, hope.

"What happened?" he croaked out, his eyes opening briefly only for him to squeeze them shut tightly again, likely to hide from the flickering candle beside the bed and the bit of light that peeked in from the windows, which someone – perhaps the physician? – had opened to allow in fresh air from the terrace.

"You were poisoned," she said, swatting him ever so lightly on the arm before changing her reaction and giving him a sip of water instead. "Just as I thought you might be. Oh, Fitz, how could you put yourself through this?"

"Was just trying to protect you," he mumbled, opening his eyes just enough to see her. "Why are you here? You were supposed to stay at Appleton."

"Did you truly think I would remain home and allow you to put yourself in harm's way?" she said crossly. "Who else would have been able to kiss you awake?"

He nodded as though he was considering her question.

"There might have been a lineup at my doorway." Seeing her stare, the corners of his mouth turned upward. "Not that I would ever have entertained the idea of any other woman."

"You better not have," she said before leaning over him. "I know we still have much to get through but I must tell you something – before it's too late."

"You're leaving me? Is the baby not well?

"Why would you say that?" she said, recoiling slightly.

"I need to make sure that it was neither of those things, for both would be the worst news imaginable."

She couldn't help but smile at that, liking what she was hearing.

"I had to tell you that I love you," she said, the words coming out in a rush before she allowed her fear of saying them to overcome her. "You do not have to say it back nor even to return the sentiment. I know that we have made certain aspects of our marriage work rather well and I would like to continue that but do not want anything to be forced. I just wanted you to know… how much you mean to me."

He stared at her unwaveringly. "Did you mean everything that you were saying before?"

"When?"

"Before I woke up."

"You heard that?" she covered her mouth with her hand, absolutely mortified, and he moved his lips into the closest thing to a grin since she had arrived.

"I might have. Something about love, needing me, not being able to live without me… perhaps you should fill in the rest."

"Fitz! How could you not tell me you were awake?"

"I wasn't completely awake. But it's stored in my mind now and will never come out again."

Eliza looked down at her hands, placing them in her lap as she sat perched on the edge of the bed, slightly more ladylike than the initial flinging of herself over his prostrate body.

"Shall we forget I was so… effusive in my words?"

"No," he shook his head, reaching his arms up to her. "Never. That's part of what I love about you. Come here, Eliza."

She blinked. His words had come so fast that she wondered if she had misheard him.

"I-I'm not sure that I can come any closer."

"Oh, you most certainly can," he countered. "Lie right beside me."

She eagerly tucked into his side.

"That's better," he said, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her neck. "Now, I need to tell you something."

She waited.

"I love you, Eliza. With all of my heart. For so long, I thought that the woman for me would stand demurely at my side and do all that I requested of her, but I have realized how wrong I was. The woman I need challenges me, makes me better, and ensures that I don't venture off to London alone when there is a threat to my life. I need a woman who can forge her own path forward in life, but who wouldn't want to, for she preferred to have me at her side. I know this baby brought us together. At the time we thought marriage was the only option, but perhaps it just meant that this was the only option for the two of us to be happy."

The tears were back. Eliza found she could hardly take a breath, let alone form any words, so overwhelmed was she by all of Fitz's revelations.

"Could we possibly be this happy together?" she whispered.

"I know we can," he confirmed. "We'd better. It was the very reason I woke up from this."

They laughed slightly at that, as morbid as it was.

"I must go tell Siena and Levi that you are awake," she realized. "They have been so worried."

"Levi's here?" he asked, and Eliza nodded.

"I went to him and asked him to come help you, but we were too late. Perhaps, however, he can help you now."

"If anyone can, it's him."

"I don't want to leave you."

"It's only for a moment," he said. "Besides, Eliza, I need you to know something."

She looked at him expectantly.

"You will never lose me. Even if something did happen to me. Because we will always find one another here." He pointed from his heart to hers. "You are the only one who will ever own mine. And I would like to take up residence in yours."

She nodded, holding her breath, for she had no words – just tears.

But they were happy ones.

For he was right. No matter what happened now, they would always have one another. That's what love truly meant.