Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

F itz's step was heavy as he climbed the stairs to his bedchamber after seeing Madeline off into a footman's good hands.

When Hastings had shown her into his study upon her arrival at Appleton, Fitz had nearly fallen over in shock – at her arrival as well as her confidence in walking right in the front door of his family's manor.

But he supposed he had never chosen his companions based on their discretions.

Thankfully Hastings had known that he wouldn't want any of the family to be aware of her presence and had quickly and discreetly shown her into the study.

When Eliza had walked into the room Fitz had nearly walked right out, so unnerved he was by all of the revelations of the evening.

Thankfully, Eliza had seemed fairly understanding of the entire event. He only hoped she would still feel that way when he spoke to her alone.

"Eliza?" he said, wondering why he was always approaching her with such hesitation. He supposed it was because he had never before had a wife, nor even someone he had to answer to. He had always supposed that when he did marry, it would be to a demure woman who wouldn't require an explanation. He could never be certain of what was on Eliza's mind.

"You came," she said, sitting up in the bed, her brows lifting.

"Of course I came," he said, walking over to the bed and taking her hand in his. "You didn't truly believe I would do anything else, did you?"

Suddenly, realization washed over him that this was exactly how she had felt when he had questioned her about her pregnancy – disappointment that no matter what other circumstances had arisen in the past, she wouldn't have faith in him.

"Fitz, if I had any inkling that you might do something I would be disappointed about, I would never have walked out of that room and then welcomed you back here," she said.

"You trusted me?"

"I did," she said with a shrug. "You have given me no reason not to."

The smile began to grow on his face before she held up a finger.

"Now, I can admit that I was not particularly thrilled about searching you out to bid you goodnight only to find you holed up alone with one of your former lovers. But you did soundly reject what she was not so discreetly offering."

"That's her profession," he said. "I suppose she finds it hard to turn it off."

"And you are a hard man to give away."

"That is rather kind of you," he noted.

"I do have a nice side now and then," she smiled at him. "What were you going to say to her before I interrupted you?"

He frowned. "What was I saying?"

"You told her that she couldn't stay in the house because you had a wife, and then you were about to expand but I walked in."

"Oh," he said, his nose crinkling in the way it did when something troubled him. "I was going to tell her I didn't trust her in the house."

"Because of the staff? There are no other men here. Or were you concerned that she would steal from you?"

"No," he shook his head. "I was concerned that she would try to poison me again."

"What?" Eliza burst out, springing forward toward him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"She was the one who was paid to poison me, but she stopped me from drinking the poison before it could do anything," he admitted, not seeing any reason to hide the truth from her – until he looked at her face.

She wasn't shocked. She was mad. Raging.

"How could you let her into the house at all?"

"She never meant to hurt me. She?—"

"Fitz! She nearly killed you. What if she is here to try again, under the guise of warning you?"

"If she had wanted to kill me, she would have done so by now."

"Unless she had planned to get close to you, and that was why she was trying to seduce you."

The thought had never occurred to him. He would like to think that Eliza was only being overly distrustful, and yet, she had a point.

"Madeline said she is leaving tomorrow and is in the dower house tonight," Fitz said. "All will be well, I'm sure."

"Well, even so, I am not leaving your side tonight."

"You are going to protect me, then?" he said, quirking a brow at her as the dimples broke out on her face.

"That is exactly what I am going to do," she said smartly.

"Well, I place myself into your hands."

"Good," she said. "Now come here. I'll show you just how smart you are to submit to them."

He had no problems in doing exactly as she asked.

Eliza pulled Fitz towards her, heat radiating off her body. He wrapped his arms around her waist, as her heart beat, matching his own rapid pulse. Her hands reached up to tangle in his hair as she pulled him down for a deep, passionate kiss.

Their lips met in a flurry of desire, tongues dancing and exploring. Fitz's hands roamed over the curve of her hips and the swell of her breasts. Eliza moaned softly as Fitz trailed kisses down her neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there before lifting his head to stare down at her, wanting to memorize every detail of her face – the way her eyes sparkled with desire, the curve of her lips as she smiled up at him, the flutter of her lashes against her cheeks.

Eliza reached up, unbuttoning Fitz's shirt slowly. Fitz watched her with a hunger he had never known before. She pushed the shirt off his shoulders, her hands tracing every indent in his abdomen.

"You are so beautiful," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath.

Fitz's emotions surged at her words. No one had ever looked at him with such admiration and tenderness. He leaned down to capture her lips again, their bodies fitting together perfectly as if they were made for each other.

As their passion ignited, their clothing was shed, forgotten in a pile on the floor. Their bodies moved together in rhythm, each touch sending shivers down their spines. Eliza arched beneath him, a symphony of sighs and unintelligible whispers escaping her lips.

Their lovemaking was not just physical; it was a merging of souls, a connection that went beyond anything he could even put into words.

He slid inside of her, finding her more than ready for him. She was wet and eager, her body welcoming his with a fierce intensity. He thrust into her, a primal urgency driving him. Her gasps only spurred him on, until her muscles contracted around him, her walls tightening, and he knew she was close. He thrust harder, deeper, his own release fast approaching.

As they reached the pinnacle together, her eyes locked onto his, unspoken emotions reaching toward him, reflecting his own back against her.

They fell back on the sheets, lying tangled together, hearts pounding in sync, the warmth of their passion still lingering between them.

Fitz trailed a finger along the curve of Eliza's jawline, trying to take in the moment and commit it to memory. He would never forget this night, the way her skin felt beneath his touch, the way her laugh sounded in his ears. He drew in a deep breath, taking in the scent of her hair, the earthy, sun-warmed fragrance that had been part of his dreams for longer than he'd like to admit.

Hours later, Fitz was still wide awake in the middle of the night, gazing upon his sleeping wife. He gently ran his hand over her soft skin, pausing when he reached her abdomen, where there was the faintest swell that only someone familiar with her body would notice. His child. He placed his palm over her belly, overcome for a moment at the thought that they had made something so special together and that soon enough, there would be a little person in the world relying on him.

Another person.

He had to make sure to be here for the little one, for Eliza, for his sisters and his mother. He had been reckless before, true, but everything he had done in life since then had been for their betterment and their protection.

This threat held over all of their heads had gone on for far too long. What was he to do if they were still in danger when the baby arrived? He couldn't stay here in hiding for the rest of his life. Soon enough, he would be found.

He far preferred that it would happen on his own terms, and not when – or where – it would put those he loved in danger.

He looked down at Eliza, at how peaceful she was in sleep.

There was only one thing to do to keep her safe.

She would hate it. She would possibly hate him . But at least nothing would happen to her or their child.

He just had to hope that she would one day understand.

Eliza woke languidly the next morning.

Her stomach was protesting, but when she turned to the side table, she smiled to see that Fitz had left her one of the Sally Lunn Buns she loved so much. She found if she ate before moving she could feel well enough to continue with her day.

She glanced over to the side of the bed where he had slept, the imprint of his head still on the pillow. He had grown so accustomed to sleeping in her bed that she wondered when the last time had been that he had slept within his own.

She didn't mind. She liked being close to him.

He always woke before her, heading down to his study so that he could finish all of his correspondence and send it away so that it would arrive in time for the post to be taken by the mail coach.

It was rather intimate, this living in partnership with another.

Eliza's mother had departed just a few days ago. They had left one another with a tearful farewell, and her mother's promise to return in a few months when Eliza's confinement neared. She would have stayed longer had she not been eager to see Eliza's father, whom Eliza knew she missed desperately. She wondered if that love she had always wanted – the one her parents had – could actually now be within reach. Who could ever have imagined that it might be with Fitz?

Her pastry finished, she donned her slippers and waited for her maid to arrive and help her dress for the morning.

Eliza had a spring in her step, one that had her looking forward to seeing Fitz and wondering if he would have anything to say about their activities last night. They had been even more passionate than usual, she supposed because they had passed the test of trust with Madeline's arrival.

When she finally made her way downstairs and into the breakfast room, she sensed the moment she walked in that something was amiss from the way Fitz's entire family – except Fitz himself, as he was not present – stopped talking and stared at her.

"Good morning," she said, looking around the room, finally stopping on Henrietta's face, which appeared rather pained, quite unusual for her. "Is everyone well?"

"Yes," Fitz's mother finally said, standing with her fingers intertwined. "We must tell you something."

Eliza waited, unable to say anything.

"It seems," his mother began slowly, "that Fitz is… gone."

"Gone." Eliza repeated the word as though by doing so it would make more sense. "Where did he go?"

"It's Fitz," said Georgina, rolling her eyes. "London, obviously."

"Georgie!" Henrietta admonished, elbowing her in the side.

"I'm sorry, but Eliza knows who Fitz is. He had one visit from a working woman and?—"

"Georgina Spencer, that is quite enough," her mother said firmly before placing what Eliza was sure was supposed to be a kind hand on her arm. "I am sure that is not the way of it. Fitz is simply being…"

"Stupid," Eliza filled in for her, for she knew exactly what Fitz was doing. "He is trying to get himself killed."

"I would not say that," Lady Fitzroy said, her brow furrowing. "I think he just?—"

It seemed that Georgina had more to say about it. "Mother is trying to say that he wanted to return to the excitement of London. That he is bored with being in the country. As we all are. Only, of course, he gets to do as he chooses while we have to sit here with nothing to do, ‘just in case.'"

"That's not at all what he is doing," Eliza said, shaking her head woodenly. "He is trying to draw out whoever is after him. To protect us."

She looked around the table at all Fitz's sisters, who sat there staring up at her. The practical Dot. Optimistic Henrietta. Apathetic Sloane. Grumpy Georgina. Even the sickly Sarah and the two youngest, Betsy and Daphne, all wore the same expression. Pity.

"I know what you are all thinking," Eliza said. "That Fitz is bored of me . That I am making more of our marriage than what it is. But I know that is not the case. Fitz is worried that whoever is after him has discovered our location. I'm sure he thinks that if he leaves Appleton, he will draw the danger away from us. The only problem is, he is now alone to face his adversary."

It seemed, however, that no one completely believed her, although they were too polite to say so.

"Eliza, why do you not sit and have breakfast?" Henrietta asked, pushing a smile onto her face, but Eliza was suddenly overcome by a bout of nausea and knew that she couldn't stay there a moment longer.

One hand clutching her stomach, the other covering her mouth, she ran from the room as fast as she could before she truly made a fool of herself.

Somehow, she made it all the way upstairs and into her chamber before she was truly sick, and minutes later, Henrietta came rushing into the room behind her.

"Eliza?" she called out as she stepped through the door and then, seeing Eliza hunched over the chamber pot in the corner, she ran to her, stopping behind her, her arms coming around her. "Oh, Eliza, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," Eliza said, shaking her head. "In fact, there is nothing you can do. I am not upset by what any of you said to me, truly I am not. It is the thought of the danger that Fitz has placed himself in."

Henrietta left her for a moment before returning with a cool, wet piece of linen. "Here," she said, holding it out to her, and Eliza took it gratefully, pressing it to her face.

"Thank you."

"Why do you not lie down for a time?"

"I cannot. I shall rest in the carriage."

"The carriage?" Henrietta said, straightening. "Where are you going?"

"To London. After Fitz."

"Eliza, you cannot go to London!"

"I must. I cannot allow Fitz to be alone."

Henrietta was already shaking her head. "But the very reason he left you was so that you would remain safe."

"True," Eliza agreed. "Which is why I will not go directly to London but rather around it."

"I'm afraid you are speaking in circles I cannot follow."

"I am going to go to the Duke of Dunmore. He will be able to help Fitz. He was trained in war, was he not? Knowing Fitz, he didn't tell the duke that he was even returning to London so Levi wouldn't know that he might need his assistance. I will then remain with Siena so that he feels comfortable in being away from her."

Henrietta paused for a moment before nodding slowly. "Very well. I think I can accept that plan."

Eliza patted her on the arm before smiling at her. "I appreciate your approval, but I am not certain I need it."

"Of course," Henrietta said, biting her lip. "I only want you to be safe. You and the baby. My niece or nephew."

A smile lit her lips, and Eliza had to blink back the tears that were rapidly forming. Goodness, being with child was certainly sending her emotions into turmoil.

"Thank you, Henrietta. We are truly so grateful to have you in our lives."

Henrietta took a quick sniff as well before looking up. "Well. I should probably come with you. You cannot go alone."

"I must, although I do appreciate the offer, Hen. It will be bad enough, however, when Fitz realizes that I have left Appleton. If I bring you into it as well, it will only be made all the worse, and I would feel awful if anything were to happen to you. No. This is my choice, and I will suffer any consequences alone. And Henrietta?"

Her friend appeared troubled, but she was no longer arguing.

"Yes?"

"Please do not tell anyone I am going until after I leave. I know it probably seems stupid of me to go, but I cannot allow Fitz to be alone. The thought fills me with so much apprehension that I know I would be worse off to stay here without him."

Henrietta was staring at her, aghast.

"You love him."

"What?" Eliza started. "We are married. Why would you say that?"

"The way you are talking about him. That fear. A woman only talks like that about someone she loves. I know you both well enough to be aware of why you truly married. It wasn't love then. But it is now."

"No," Eliza said, shaking her head. "I don't—that is I cannot?—"

"I know," Henrietta said, placing a hand on her arm. "I can see how Fitz would be both the hardest and easiest man to love. Easy for a sister to love him. Much harder for a woman who is trying to protect her heart."

"That's just the thing," Eliza said, teary-eyed once more. "I am scared. Scared that he might be too reckless, and I would lose him in that way. Scared that he might become bored of me and find another. It's just too much."

Henrietta reached out to her in an embrace.

"You will figure it out. I know you will. Whatever you do, Eliza, though, be safe. Please?"

"Always," Eliza agreed. "Now. If I am going to make it to Greystone in a day, I must leave now. I will see you very soon."

"I will hold you to that. Goodbye, Eliza."

"Goodbye, Hen."