90. His Turmoil

KIARA

I awoke feeling something poking my stomach. Apart from that, I felt so relaxed. Why did I feel so snug? I opened my eyes slowly, my heart racing when I looked at the partially tattooed chest in front of me. My breath hitched, my stomach erupted in butterflies as his familiar scent wrapped around me.

Oh, Goddess…

How did we end up in bed together? I tensed, knowing exactly what was poking me. The realisation sent a rush of pleasure through me and my entire body heated up. trying my best not to adjust my position. I didn't want to wake him up.

I knew I wanted him. The mate bond, my own turmoiled emotions, and my wolf"s urges were threatening to drown me.

"Hey…" Alejandro's thick sexy voice came. "What's up?"

No, don't look at me… I tried to move away only to feel him throb against me. My own desire was only growing, and I knew he would smell my arousal. Kill me now, goddess…

I slowly looked up into his eyes, my cheeks burning with shame. Ready to be mocked. His eyes were dark, and I didn't miss the desire in them.

"L-let go." I whispered, despite my entire body and soul urging me to push him onto the bed and kiss him.

He raised a hand, running his fingers down my cheek, I knew he could hear my heart, see the reaction my body had towards him…

He searched for something in my eyes, and it was at that moment that I sensed his emotions, I was so lost in my own raging hormones that I didn't even realise the chaos he was feeling. Concern filled me, I had sensed many emotions from Alejandro but never had I sensed this level of confusion, worry, distress, and guilt… Why was he guilty?

My heart twisted and I wondered if he had gone somewhere at night... Did he… No, he wouldn't... Although the thought crossed my mind, I didn't believe it. Then what was it?

"Calm down." He said quietly.

"I"m calm, what"s worrying you?" I asked, not missing him tense slightly.

He looked away and shook his head slowly.

Wouldn't he share his problem? I pulled away, feeling an ache inside. What were we? I sat up, but before I got any further, he had tugged me back into his arms. My back hit his chest, his muscular arms wrapped around me tightly from behind. My heart thudded as he buried his head into my neck.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

I tensed, what for? Why was he apologising? He said he wouldn't apologise…

"For everything I"ve put you through." He murmured as if understanding my silent question. His lips grazed my neck and I let out a small whimper of pleasure. My eyes fluttered shut. His large manhood now touching my ass. The urge to rub myself against him was threatening me, but before I could even argue, or do anything, he pulled me completely against him, crushing our bodies together as one. Our hearts raced as one and I didn't move, I had no idea why he felt so conflicted, but it was clear that he wasn't able to tell me…

"We both acted on physical attraction, we didn't really communicate… we didn't share our problems. We made choices based on our own issues. Yes, you hurt me Alejandro… but I hurt you too… so please… stop feeling guilty for it." I whispered, despite how strongly the bond was pulling me to him, I meant those words.

We had acted recklessly, deciding our own paths, making our own assumptions, and hurting the other.

"I knew you were my mate before the fucking blood moon." He said, so quietly that I barely heard.

My heart pounded and I pulled away, putting distance between us.

"You knew…" I whispered, hating the fact my eyes were stinging. He sat up, a god in all aspects.

"I knew when I was falling for you. That you weren't just any fucking she-wolf… and that's when I decided to stay away from you, to force myself to go ahead with the engagement. The reason I needed a distraction at the mating ball, the reason I didn't host it." He said quietly.

I didn't know what to make of it. He hurt me when he knew I was his mate. That made the stinging pain worse... But at the same time, it meant he had cared for me long before the mate bond even came into effect… And the night I slept with Rayhan… he knew I was his mate. How had he felt? My eyes threatened to spill at the very thought of what I had put him through.

"You said you wouldn't apologise, so why now?" I whispered. I felt scared, like this was goodbye. Why did it feel like this?

"I said I'd show you… but I don't think there is any shit I can ever do to make up for all the crap." He said quietly.

"Alejandro… What happened? You weren't like this at night…" I scooted closer and cupped his face. "You're scaring me."

He gripped my wrists and looked at me. I knew he was struggling to say whatever it was.

"Tell me what it is..." I urged, not missing his gaze lingering on my lips.

"I don't want you coming with me to the forest. You said yourself, you got a bad feeling about it."

"Al! I thought you were ok with me going with you. Why change your mind now?" I asked. Worry now replaced with frustration.

I shoved his shoulders in annoyance. That made him smirk.

"Al, huh? When did we get that close?" He teased.

"We've already fucked, I don't think calling you Al, will beat that. Stop changing the topic. Tell me, why don't you want me to come? Did you get some more news? Together, we could probably do a lot better. Whatever there is in that forest, my powers could be of some use…"

I tried to ignore the way he was stroking my waist or that sexy arrogant smile that lingered on his face.

"I do have reasons… Can you not be so fucking stubborn?" He said, frowning when he realised I was not going to back down.

"I can and I will." I said, my eyes flashing.

I knew he was hiding something from me.

"If I don't want to take you I sure as fuck won"t." He shot back.

"I'd like to see you try to stop me." I glared at him, mustering up my most icy look I could.

"What are you going to do? Try to act tough? Give me fucking baby shoves? You sure aren"t that fucking strong now, are you?" He mocked.

Ok, although I loved the fact he sounded like his normal, annoying sexy self again. It was annoying.

"You want hard, I'll show you hard." I said, glaring at him, as I punched his shoulder harder. He was pushed back a little but still unphased.

"Is that all you got, sweetheart?" He taunted.

Oh, he sure asked for it!

"Urgh you are so annoying!" I said and this time I smacked him again, using all my force. It knocked him back onto his pillow, making me gasp. My heart skipped a beat as he pulled me along with him. I was now on top of him, my eyes widening in surprise.

"Never said I fucking wasn't." He remarked. His hands that were on my waist dipped lower ever so slightly as he gripped my hips.

I glared at him in frustration, but despite that, I couldn"t resist the way I felt, the way my core ached, the storm within me or this sexual tension that was growing between us. Our eyes met and I was very aware of his abs pressing against my core through the thin fabrics of my shorts and panties. My chest rose and fell, I was drowning in him and I didn't want to ever surface… I…

"You need to be careful, Amore Mio… Because your arousal is driving me fucking crazy. I won't be able to control myself." He growled, his eyes flashing red.

My heart thudded in my chest, but I wanted this… I leant closer, running my hands over his shoulders.

"Maybe I don't want you to control yourself." I whispered seductively, my core throbbing.

I didn't miss the flash of surprise on his face as I bent down, my gaze dipping to his lips, but before I could kiss him. He turned his head away, making a sharp sting of pain rush through me.

"Wait… I need to tell you something first." He said quietly.