63. Breaking

ALEJANDRO

I stood on the balcony at the front centre of the mansion two floors up, as I looked at the illuminated gardens, satisfied.

"Kind of dazzling tonight, isn"t it? It doesn"t really make sense when we're wolves." Jasmin said from next to me.

I didn't reply, I knew what she was insinuating and she wasn't wrong. I had asked for it to be light enough for Kiara.

"A change is good." I said coldly.

She nodded, smart enough to keep her fucking mouth shut. I turned away, trying to calm the emotions that swirled within me. I wanted to see her… but at the same time, I was scared. What would I do when my eyes fell upon her? I know I was sure she was my mate… But I still wanted confirmation… Even if I would never pursue her.

"You"re restless." Jasmin murmured.

"I'm not." I said coldly. "You are welcome to join the fucking ball."

"I'd rather spend it with you." She said, stepping closer to me.

I turned away and walked to the door that led out to the hall, overlooking the grand hall beneath. Soft music could be heard all the way up here and the sound of laughter, chatter and the hustle and bustle of everyone downstairs filled my ears. I stepped out into the hall and over to the balcony looking far below. My eyes scanned the crowd for her.

A sharp, blinding ray of light glittered from something in the midst of the crowd and I looked down to see Kiara hugging Rayhan, the light reflecting off her dress. My heart skipped a beat at how breath-taking she looked. Dressed like a Goddess, she stood out from the entire fucking crowd. Her glittering dress accentuated her killer curves. Every time I saw her felt like the first time, fucking distracting me endlessly. But this time… it was at a whole new level. She took my breath away and it fucking messed with my resolve.

I felt a strong, sizzling pull towards her; my assumption was confirmed. She was my mate... My entire body was on edge and my heart was pounding louder than ever. The burning desire to go to her threatened to consume me.

I didn't miss the men staring at her, but how the fuck can I complain when she had all my attention locked on her too? Still, I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell the fuckers that she belongs to me. The only problem was… she couldn"t be mine. My heart pounded in my chest as she turned, laughing about something, her radiant face glowing with that dazzling smile on her face.

In the large hall full of hundreds of people I couldn"t make out what she was saying, but just seeing her happy… I felt an ache inside. She didn't need me, I had been right.

She was here, dressed like a fucking Queen, ready to find her mate. A mate who wasn't good enough for her. I don't know what the fuck Selene was playing at… But Kiara deserved better… I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I wanted to smell her… just once… to calm the anger and distress that was beginning to burn within me... but she was too far away to smell from here, or to make out in the large hall of hundreds of scents.

Either way, I guess it was for the better. The urge to go down there and mark her suddenly overcame me. The longer I looked at her, the more my resolve was weakening. I couldn"t do that... She was a goddess and I was a fucking monster.

I turned away quickly, walking back into the room.

"Alejandro, are you okay? Your heart is racing." Jasmin said with concern as she approached me.

I looked into her eyes. This was my decision, Jasmin. I had to forget Kiara... but how do you forget someone who seemed to become your entire life? Your reason to breathe and carry on?

I couldn"t. Even when I suddenly grabbed Jasmin's face and kissed her, all I could think about was Kiara. I needed to forget… Touching Jasmin repulsed me. I felt my anger growing, hating myself for this, hating Jasmin, hating this entire fucking situation. She kissed me back, I could taste blood. If she was smart she'd back off, but she was as fucking stupid as ever.

She locked her arms around my neck, kissing me hungrily. Did she want to die? Because I would kill her one day. Her hand ran down my chest as she moved us towards the sofa.

Kiara. The golden goddess was all that was on my mind. I dropped on to the sofa as Jasmin climbed into my lap. This was the life I chose?.. Fuck it. Stop fucking thinking.

Her kisses became hungrier, the air filled with her arousal as she pulled my jacket off, pulling open my shirt buttons and kissing my neck. I grabbed her by the hair and yanked her back as I kissed her neck roughly. She moaned loudly.

Mark her. Get this shit over with. No matter how fucking hard I told myself that, I couldn"t.

She grinded against me but her touch was off-putting. She tugged my head up, cupping my face as she kissed me and I gripped her ass. Focus, Alejandro. I kissed her back, trying to get into this.

Just then, I heard a door open and the most delicious, intoxicating scent I"d ever smelled filled my senses. The rich scent of hazelnut chocolate mixed with something so deep and seductive that I felt myself throb with need and desire.

I pulled away from Jasmin, my eyes snapping to the door. My heart was pounding as I looked straight into Kiara's beautiful eyes that were filled with a thousand shades of emotions. Our hearts beat as one, the rhythm in sync, my stomach twisted at the pain that dominated all other emotions within those stunning eyes of hers.

If she looked perfect before… she was out of this world right now. The bond had enhanced everything. I became hyper-aware of every millimetre of her skin, the way her lips dipped in the centre, the slender tip of her nose. The exact shade of her silky locks…

"Umm, we're busy…" Jasmin said, in the distance.

Kiara ignored her, her eyes set on me as if she was giving me one chance… Her soft kissable lips trembled ever so slightly, her breasts rising and falling with each breath she took. I clenched my jaw. This was it, my fucking chance to push her away completely. Using all the determination I could muster, I turned back to Jasmin.

"Ignore her." I said, in a hoarse whisper thick with emotions for the woman that stood in that doorway.

I heard her take a sharp intake of breath, I clenched my jaw, using all my willpower to not look at her.

Jasmin smirked, gripping my face as she kissed me passionately. I held on to her tightly. I was fighting against myself not to rush to Kiara. I hated myself for this but I had to… I had hurt her enough. We weren't the right match… all I did was hurt her.

I"m sorry, Amore Mio but this is the last time I'll hurt you. Just enough to push you away forever.

A barely audible whimper left those plush lips of hers as I kissed Jasmin, shattering two hearts in the process. Two hearts that should have beat as one… But mine was too dark and toxic for her pure one.

I heard her turn, her heart thumping erratically, the tinkle of her dress and the sound of her heels as she rushed from the room. Closing my eyes as I heard the distant, suppressed, heart-wrenching sob that fell from her lips as she ran as far away from me as possible.

I pushed Jasmin away from me roughly, clutching my head as I tried to suppress the pain and guilt that burned my insides. It hurt so fucking badly but I"m sure it was nothing compared to the pain I had caused her.

"Alejandro…?" Jasmin said quietly.

But I didn't want to hear shit from her.

I guess I got what I wanted. Mission accomplished. I"m sure I just fucking broke her and with it I destroyed myself.

Jasmin stroked my leg as she came close.

"Ale-"

My eyes blazed red as I grabbed her by the neck.

"It's Alpha to you." I growled. "Stay the fuck away from me."

She trembled in fear as I dropped her and stood up. I was a monster, and it was high fucking time everyone remembered that.