Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

J udith sat in the drawing room, surrounded by the hum of conversation. Sunlight streamed through the tall windows, casting a golden glow over the polished wooden floors and the elegant furniture.

The room was decorated with fresh flowers, their scent mingling with the faint aroma of the tea that had been laid out on a low table between them. The chatter around her was lively and cheerful, but she struggled to keep her mind on the discussion.

Graham, Oliver, and Matilda were animatedly talking about the details of her upcoming wedding. Graham, ever enthusiastic, held up sketches of floral arrangements, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Lady Judith, what do you think of these bouquets?" he askedeagerly.

Judith forced a smile and nodded. "They look lovely, My Lord," she replied, her voice sounding distant even to her own ears.

"Which is your favorite? I quite like the roses, but if you'd rather have tulips…"

"No, the roses are lovely," she assured him, pointing at the drawing.

"Very well, roses it is," Graham said.

Oliver, who was sitting beside Matilda, nodded approvingly. "A splendid choice, Graham. These arrangements will add a touch of elegance to the ceremony."

Matilda glanced at Judith and mouthed, "Are you alright?"

Judith quickly nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Matilda gave her a small, concerned smile before turning back to the conversation.

Oliver and Graham were getting along famously, discussing every detail with a camaraderie that should have warmed Judith's heart. Instead, it only added to her guilt.

"I was thinking we could have a string quartet for the wedding breakfast," Graham continued, oblivious to her inner turmoil. "It would be perfect, don't you think?"

"Yes, that sounds wonderful," Judith replied, though her thoughts were elsewhere.

She felt a pang of guilt for not being more present, for not sharing in his excitement.

"Excellent! I'll arrange for them right away," Graham declared, jotting down a note. "I will ask for the quartet that played at Lord Laurel's dinner. Do you remember them?"

Judith nodded, though she could not recall the details. The days and their outings had bled one into the other, and she could no longer distinguish between them.

Matilda noticed her distracted expression. "Judith, what do you think about the venue decorations? We have a few options here."

Judith glanced at the sketches her stepmother handed her, but the lines and colors blurred before her eyes. "They're all beautiful. I'm sure whatever you choose will be perfect."

Matilda frowned slightly but let it go, turning her attention back to Graham and Oliver, who were discussing the guest list.

"And for a maid of honor? Do you think you will choose the Duchess of Cambridge?" Graham asked.

"Rosy? Yes, yes, I should think so," Judith replied. Although, in reality, she hadn't wasted a moment thinking about bridesmaids and such.

"And who will be your best man?" Oliver asked with a wink. "I shall say I have an idea."

Graham grinned. "Of course, it will have to be Aaron. I've not asked him yet, but I shall."

At the mention of Aaron's name, Judith sat upright and blinked.

"He will be at the wedding?" she blurted out without meaning to.

Oliver and Graham looked at her with surprise, while Matilda's face paled slightly.

"Of course," Graham said. "After all, Aaron brought us together," he reminded her, chuckling.

"Really, Judith. You need to stop being so unkind to him. I know you do not like him and he teased you when you were children, but you were quite terrible to him as well. Besides, you are adults now," Oliver chided her.

If only you knew the truth.

"It was a true miracle that he brought us together, Lady Judith. Without him, I might not have found you again. He is quite fond of you, I will say," Graham assured her. "So much so that I remember thinking for a moment that Aaron wanted to keep you for himself because I was sure he saw us talking in the park, but he denied it."

Judith's heart skipped a beat. She knew for certain that Aaron had seen her talking to Graham—he had been the one to tell her to stand there and feed the birds. Why would he deny knowing who she was? Could it be that he had feelings for her, after all?

No, no, she had to stop these foolish thoughts.

Graham noticed her reaction and looked at her quizzically. "Is everything alright, Lady Judith?"

Judith managed a weak smile. "Yes, of course. I was just… thinking about how fortunate we are."

Matilda gave her another concerned look, but Judith couldn't bring herself to explain. She felt trapped, torn between her love for Aaron and her desire not to hurt Graham. She knew that marrying Graham while still in love with Aaron would be unfair to him, yet the thought of calling off the wedding and facing the scandal was daunting.

And what was wrong with her anyhow? Why could she not let go of this man, who'd made it clear that she was nothing but a burden to him?

"Let's go over the menu for the reception," Oliver suggested, trying to keep the conversation light. "Judith, do you have any preferences?"

Judith shook her head. "Whatever you all decide will be fine. I'm not picky."

Graham looked at her with a mix of concern and confusion. "Are you sure, Lady Judith? This is your special day. I want it to be perfect for you."

She nodded, swallowing past the lump in her throat. "Yes, I'm sure. I trust your judgment."

The conversation continued around her, but Judith felt more and more detached. She knew she should be excited, should be fully engaged in the planning of her own wedding, but all she could think about was Aaron and the conflicting emotions that tore at her heart.

Matilda tried to draw her in again. "Judith, how about the cake? Do you have a favorite flavor?"

Judith blinked, trying to focus. "Oh, um… maybe something simple, like vanilla."

Matilda exchanged a glance with Oliver, clearly worried. "Very well, vanilla it is."

Graham reached over and took Judith's hand. "I just want you to be happy, Lady Judith. If there's anything you want, please don't hesitate to say so."

She squeezed his hand, feeling a wave of guilt wash over her. "Thank you, My Lord. I appreciate it."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the butler's footsteps marching down the hall. The steady, deliberate sound filled the room, drawing everyone's attention to the door.

The butler, a tall man with a dignified bearing, paused just inside the threshold and looked at Oliver. "Excuse me, My Lord. The Duke of Nottingham is here."

Judith felt her heart stop. She grew pale, her thoughts racing. Why was Aaron here? What could he possibly want?

Oliver glanced at her, noticing the sudden change in her demeanor. "Judith, were you expecting him?"

"No, surely he must be here to see you," she replied.

"Aaron is always good for a surprise," Graham chimed in with a chuckle. "I'm sure he heard we're planning the wedding and wanted to give us his advice—particularly when it comes to which spirits and sweetmeats to serve."

Graham meant well, but Judith could not shake the feeling of dread in her stomach.

Oliver stood up. "I'll go and see what Aaron wants. After that, we should go and meet with old Lady Leeds. She is meeting us at the Mayfair house to plan the wedding breakfast. We'll let her know our decisions and then move on with the planning. You go ahead and get ready, Judith."

Judith stood up as he stepped out into the hall.

"Judith, you do not seem very happy with the planning," Graham noted, drawing her attention away from the door. "Are you sure you are not unwell? It is quite normal to feel that way. I can ask my mother to take over more of the planning. She will gladly do it."

His mother… Judith thought she might throw up. She'd met Lady Leeds numerous times, and while she was a tall, robust, and thus intimidating lady, she was also kind and sweet. There were so many more people involved in this now than just Judith and Graham…

She could not let Aaron deter or confuse her. Not that she had any reason to believe that was why he'd come. Still, Judith needed to know why he was there.

"I assure you," she replied, "I am well. I simply do not have many ideas for the wedding. I was never the sort of girl to plan her wedding with her friends, fantasizing."

That was a lie. For she'd spent hours with her friends planning their perfect weddings. She simply didn't want to admit that it was their wedding she had no interest in planning.

"If that is all, I can understand," Graham relented.

She felt a strange anger rising within her.

Did he have to be so perfect and understanding all the time? If there was a bad quality in him, she might not feel so terrible.

What a strange thought. I must have lost my mind.

"It is," she said. "Now, let me collect my gloves from upstairs."

She hurriedly left the room, her mind reeling. She needed to get away, needed to clear her head. As she exited, she caught Matilda's glance and knew right away that her stepmother knew there was more to this—and soon she'd confront her. And then, her web of lies would grow even more intricate because she could not admit to anyone that her heart, her silly heart, still yearned for the man who'd wronged her so badly.

Aaron held his breath as he saw Oliver striding purposefully toward him.

His friend smiled at him, but then he furrowed his brow. Aaron's presence clearly surprised him.

"Aaron, now isn't a good time," Oliver said, his voice firm and unyielding. "My family and I are meeting with Graham about the wedding."

Aaron clenched his fists, his heart pounding. "It can't wait, Oliver. I need to talk to you about Judith."

Oliver frowned, frustration and concern etched on his features. "What about Judith?"

Aaron took a deep breath, detecting the scent of lavender and roses in the air. "It is of a personal nature. Could we step into the…" he trailed off as he saw Judith make her way toward the stairs.

She suddenly stopped and turned around, as if she'd changed her mind about her destination.

"Aaron?" Oliver called.

Before Aaron could answer, Judith made her way toward them. She looked stunning in a light blue silk gown that flowed elegantly around her, accentuating her graceful figure. Her hair was swept up in an intricate chignon, with a few delicate curls framing her face. Her eyes, however, were filled with confusion and apprehension as they met Aaron's.

"Aaron, why are you here?" she asked, her voice full of surprise and tension.

Aaron's heart ached at the sight of her. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. "I need to talk to you both."

"I have nothing to say to you," she declared.

"Judy," Oliver interjected, even more perplexed, "what has happened between the two of you? You are so… odd around one another."

"Nothing happened," Judith said. "It does not matter. Aaron, I do not need to talk to you about anything."

"Yes, you do," Aaron insisted, balling his hands into fists until his nails dug into his palms. "Judith, you can't marry Graham."

Oliver's expression darkened with anger. "What are you talking about? You're the one who set up this match."

Aaron shook his head. "I made a mistake. Judith shouldn't marry Graham. She doesn't love him, and he doesn't love her. But I… I love her."

The hall fell silent, the weight of his confession hanging heavily in the air.

Oliver's face contorted with rage. "You have some nerve, Aaron. After everything, you come here and say this? Get out of my house."

"No," Aaron said firmly, standing his ground. "I won't leave. Not until you understand."

Oliver stepped forward, his fists clenched. "You dare to defy me in my own home? You are my dearest friend, but I will not have this. Judith is happy to marry Graham, and I will not let you ruin this for her for whatever strange reasons you have."

"I thought you would have been happy to win your wager now," Judith scoffed.

Oliver rounded on Aaron. "Wager? You placed a wager on my sister?" he spat.

"It was a silly game. Judith, please, do not make this more… Please. I just want to talk to you, that is all."

"He placed a wager on my getting married by the time you returned. Although I suspect you changed it now to make it that I won't get married? Or what is this? I do not understand," Judith huffed, her words tumbling out one over the other.

Aaron met his friend's gaze, the tension between them escalating. "The wager was a mistake. Much of what I did was a mistake, but not this. Oliver, I care about Judith. I can't stand by and watch her make a mistake. Listen to me, please. Hear me out. I ask for five minutes of your time, not more."

Just as it seemed the situation might escalate further, Oliver took a deep breath and gestured toward the parlor. "Fine. We have been friends all our lives, I suppose I can allow that."

"Oliver," Judith said, desperation creeping into her words.

"No, we will talk about whatever this is and get it out of the way." Oliver pointed at the door. "Follow me."

Aaron nodded, grateful for the chance to explain.

As they entered the parlor, the tension remained thick. The grandeur of the room, with its heavy drapes and ornate furniture, seemed to close in on him.

Judith followed her brother in, her eyes wary and filled with curiosity and panic.

"It is Judith I want to talk to," Aaron insisted again.

Oliver sighed deeply. "Very well, I shall sit over yonder, but I will not leave the two of you alone, unless Judith wants it," he relented, looking at his sister.

"Stay," she said quietly.

Oliver nodded, taking a seat next to an old knight's armor which stood at the back of the room.

Aaron's heart raced as Judith approached. She looked more beautiful than ever, but the look in her eyes was one of pain and betrayal.

"Aaron, what is this about?" she asked.

Aaron took a deep breath, his hands shaking. "Judith, I need to tell you the truth. About everything."

She crossed her arms, clearly trying to protect herself. "I'm listening."

Aaron looked down, gathering his thoughts. "It is true that I kissed you because I love you. I couldn't help myself. I'd felt it for a while, and I was struggling to contain those feelings, but that night, when I introduced you to Graham, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I knew you would make a good match and that I'd lose you."

She tilted her head to the side. "So, the day you saw me talking to him at the lake, you told him you did not know who I was?"

"I didn't want to tell him because I wanted to keep our close connection."

"But why didn't you just tell me?" she asked.

Aaron felt Oliver stare daggers into his back. "I was afraid, Judith. Afraid of ending up like my parents. Their marriage was so lifeless, so boring. I didn't want that for myself, or for you."

Judith's eyes softened slightly, but she remained silent.

"And then there was Amelia," Aaron continued, his voice heavy with regret. "I believed that I had ruined her life. She made me think that I caused her downfall, that I was destined to fail anyone I married. I thought I was protecting you by pushing you away. But then I could not stop myself from kissing you, after all."

Judith's brow furrowed in confusion. "But why did you say those awful things to Graham about me?"

Aaron sighed, his heart aching at the memory. "I thought if Graham believed there was nothing between us, he would court you. I wanted you to have a chance at happiness, with someone who wasn't as flawed as I believed myself to be."

Judith shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "Aaron, that doesn't make any sense. You hurt me so deeply."

"I know," Aaron sighed. "I never would have said any of it had I known you would overhear us. I was a fool. I kissed you because I love you, Judith. I've loved you for so long. But I was too scared to admit it, even to myself."

Judith took a step back, clearly struggling with her emotions. "What's changed, Aaron? Why are you telling me this now?"

Aaron looked up, his eyes filled with desperation. "I found out that Amelia lied. She wasn't ruined by me. And it made me realize that I was wrong about everything. I should have told you how I felt from the beginning. I should have fought for you."

Judith's tears began to fall, but she remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

"Please, Judith," Aaron said. "I'm begging you to forgive me. I love you, and I want to make things right. I'm not perfect, I know that, but I do love you, and I know you… at least I think you feel the same."

Judith looked at him, her eyes searching his.

For a moment, the room was silent. Aaron's heart pounded as he waited for her response, every second feeling like an eternity.

Finally, Judith spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "Aaron, I… I don't know what to say. You've hurt me so much. And I am engaged. I am to be married. You told me Lord Leeds was a wonderful match for me."

"He is, but I can't stand by and watch you marry him, knowing you are not doing it out of love. Or are you? Do you love him?" he asked as the thought suddenly crept up on him.

He hadn't even considered this. What if she had fallen in love with his friend?

"No, I do not love him," she said swiftly, and instant relief washed over him.

Aaron stepped closer. "I promise you, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you'll let me."

Judith's eyes locked onto his, the pain and confusion evident in them. "How can I trust you, Aaron? How do I know you won't hurt me again?"

Aaron swallowed hard. "I would rather die than see you unhappy. I was a coward before, but I've learned from my mistakes. Please, give me a chance to prove it to you."

The room fell silent once more, the weight of his words hanging heavily between them. Judith took a deep breath, her eyes never leaving his.

"I need time, Aaron," she murmured. "Time to think, to understand all of this."

Aaron nodded, his heart aching with equal hope and fear. "Take all the time you need, Judith. I'll be here, waiting for you. No matter how long it takes. I will accept whatever decision you make. If you marry him, then I wish you happiness. But if you choose to forgive me, I will be here, waiting with open arms."

Judith gave a small nod, her eyes still filled with uncertainty.

As she turned to leave, Aaron felt a glimmer of hope. He knew that whatever happened next was out of his hands. All he could do was wait and hope that Judith would find her way back to him.