Chapter Seventeen

Istudy Gauge's profile out of the corner of my eye as he drives us to who knows where in his Bronco that has these giant wheels. He had to give me a boost so I could climb in. I can't help but compare his looks to Kyson's and Matt's. Sandy brown hair. Cropped short but stylish and buzzed on the sides. He's cute and has that wholesome football player vibe going for him. In some ways, he reminds me of Matt with lighter hair. Muscular, but not too bulky. Not overly tall.

"No hot date tonight?" I hedge, curious what his story is.

"Babe." He flashes me his full smile. "Got you in my ride, don't I?"

"This," I point between us, "isn't a date. And I'm not your babe."

"Keep telling yourself that."

Eventually he pulls up in front of a secluded A-frame cabin with a large porch nestled among towering pine trees, the faint sound of music drifting through the night air. I step out of the vehicle, with a mix of enthusiasm and apprehension at the prospect of walking into this party with Gauge swirling in the depths of my belly.

As we make our way towards the cabin, I catch sight of Lauren and her newfound friend walking ahead, their laughter blending with the music coming from inside. The porch is littered in red solo cups lined along the banister and crowded with a group of people chatting and smoking under the soft glow of string lights.

Gauge leads me inside, where the bass thumps loudly, enveloping us in a haze of music. The packed living room is filled with dancing bodies and the smell of alcohol hangs heavy in the air, along with a cloud of smoke. I feel out of place, my discomfort growing as I realize just how different this scene is from my usual weekend nights spent watching movies or reading when I'm not going out with Matt.

I stick close to Gauge, who seems to navigate the party with ease, exchanging high fives with other guys from the football team. As we near the kitchen, he grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together. I don't stop him or pull away. My gaze is locked with Kyson's as he licks salt off Britney's neck.

He gives me a challenging look and tosses back a shot before sucking the lime wedged between her lips.

My heart races as I tear my eyes away from the sight of him getting drunk with his ex, focusing instead on Gauge's hand swallowing mine. The music pounds in my ears, drowning out my thoughts as I let myself be led through the throng of partygoers. People are groping each other openly while some others are sneaking off and disappearing to dark corners or rooms with closed doors.

I hope Gauge doesn't get the wrong idea because I came here with him.

I'm not interested in hooking up with him.

I find myself backed up against the washer and dryer in the corner of the room, next to a door that leads to a deck out back where a game of quarters is underway. Remy flips a coin and cheers erupt as he hits the intended target.

Gauge leans in close to my ear, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine. "You okay?" he asks, concern evident in his voice over the loud atmosphere. His cologne wafts under my nose, making my stomach sour with the spicey scent.

It's way too hot in here with so many people packed in closely.

I nod, unable to form words amidst the chaos surrounding us. The kitchen is a whirlwind of activity, with people mingling, drinks flowing, and laughter echoing off the walls. I catch glimpses of Lauren across the room where she's deep in conversation with that guy she hooked up with at the fight.

Britney makes a point to rub all over Kyson and grind against him to the beat of the music thumping through the speakers. Her movements are indecent. All she needs is a G-string and a pole. I don't know why I'm torturing myself by watching the show they are putting on for anyone who glances in their direction. She's trying way too hard to upset me and to keep his attention. It's kind of pathetic. She reeks of desperation.

"It's too loud in here." Gauge takes my hand again, directing me towards a quieter area of the house to a dimly lit seating area that offers a reprieve from the pulsing energy of the party. This place is much larger than the front design alluded to. I sink into one of the chairs, taking a moment to collect my thoughts as he squeezes in next to me, too close, gazing intently at my lips as though he wants to kiss me. Part of me wants to let him to piss Kyson off, but he probably wouldn't care.

"This isn't your scene, is it?"

"Not at all."

He hovers closer, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"I'm glad you came. I've been dying to get to know you."

"You're nothing like I expected."

"Hope that's a good thing."

"Definitely."

An awkward silence stretches between us, and he starts playing with my hair and strumming his fingers up and down my thigh. "Want a drink?" Gauge questions, second guessing, making a move, and I'm thankful. I hope he doesn't notice the relief washing over my face.

"I'll take a Coke or something."

"Okay. Cool. I'm sure there's something other than beer or liquor. Stay right here. Don't go anywhere."

"All right. I won't." Gauge isn't my type, but he's a lot sweeter than Kyson let on, or than my first impression of him. I watch him walk away and smile to myself that tonight isn't so bad until I check my phone and see that I have several more missed calls and chats from Matt. I never responded to him earlier and now it seems he's angry about more than that. I check my media and see that I've been tagged in a photo with Gauge at the fights. Someone happened to snap a picture of him looming toward me while I was leaning against the building, and it appears as if we're about to kiss. The caption under it reads: New couple alert.

Is this another one of Kyson's games?

I quickly feel a surge of panic as I realize the implications of the photo. People are quick to jump to conclusions, and the last thing I need is for stupid gossip to spread like wildfire, especially involving someone as popular as Gauge. My mind races with possibilities as I try to come up with a way to diffuse the situation before it spirals out of control.

I don't want Matt having the wrong idea and I don't need rumors started that I'm dating Gauge.

Right as I'm about to make a move to find Gauge to ask who posted the photo, a commotion breaks out in the living room. The music stops. Voices are raised, and I catch snippets of conversation that capture my attention. Kyson's name is mentioned, followed by Britney's shrill laughter ringing out.

I edge closer, noting that Kyson and Britney are at the center of the altercation. Lauren appears beside me, her expression a mix of concern and curiosity as she watches the scene unfold. We push through the crowd, determined to get a front row seat to whatever chaos Kyson has stirred up. There's some dude who looks way too old to be at a high school party engaged in a shoving match with Kyson. Gauge is trying to wade between them to diffuse the situation. Britney appears quite pleased with the scene they are causing. She looks at me with an expression that reads: Told you he's mine.

A renewed surge of anger fills me as I take in her bitchy smile. The guy, possibly in his early twenties from the look of him, towers over Kyson, gripping him by the collar of his black tee. Kyson bares his teeth at him in a menacing sneer that says, bring it on.

I share a look with Lauren, unable to hide my irritation.

"It'll be okay," she tells me, but I'm not so sure.

Maybe this time Kyson has bit off more than he can chew. I don't think he should be fighting with someone else so soon even if he did win and now, he's got Gauge involved.

I watch helplessly as Gauge grapples with the stranger, doing his best to out-muscle him and maneuver him toward the front door as Remy barges into the confrontation, providing backup.

"Forget it, Gauge!" Kyson shouts. "This bitch isn't worth the trouble. He can have the slut. She's served her purpose."

The cocky smile melts off Britney's face. She stares at her shoes a beat, trying to regain her composure, but suddenly her hand flies up to smack Kyson right on the mouth. "Fuck you."

"You already did. Zero out of ten. Wouldn't recommend." He laughs, wiping the blood from the cut on his lip that's reopened. Kyson grabs a beer out of someone's hand.

Britney knocks the drink from his hand and shoves him hard in the chest. "Don't ever call me again."

Kyson storms away from her.

I want to snatch her up by her hair for putting her hands on him, but at the same time I guess he kind of deserves what he got.

I debate going after him, but I'm not ready for a second round with him.

I look around for Gauge and find him with Remy coming back in from kicking that dude out.

The music cuts back on and the crowd thins some now that the drama is over.

"Let's dance," Lauren suggests, moving her hips to the music.

I follow her lead, sensing eyes on me as I get lost in the beat. I don't dare look to see whether those eyes belong to Kyson or Gauge. Right now they don't exist. I dance with Lauren for a few songs and the tension of the drama seems to leave me.

The lights are turned down lower and Lauren starts dancing with that guy she brought.

A hand curls around my belly from behind as the makeshift dancefloor grows more crowded with couples taking advantage of the slower song and dark room. The vibe is sexy and it's easy to let my guard down knowing that no one is paying attention to me right now.

I recognize the scent of Kyson's cologne and the touch of his lips on my neck. He doesn't say a word and neither do I. We sway to the slow tempo of Set Me On Fire by Estelle. His lips and tongue glide up and down my neck and move along my jaw but I don't tell him to stop. I'm still mad at him as he pulls me into a dark hallway and presses his mouth to mine. The coppery taste of his bloody lip seeps between mine as he prods along the seam of my lips with the tip of his tongue, reminding me that minutes ago he was fighting over another girl.

"Stop." I push against his chest, and he responds by shoving his tongue deeper in my mouth, so I bite him.

"Don't act like you don't want it." He pins me to the wall, running a hand up my thigh under my dress.

"Let me go."

"Why? We both know you'd rather be here with me." He teases at the lacey edge of my underwear, confusing me with his gentle touches and sweet kisses.

I hate that he's right, but I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing how true that is. "I wouldn't touch you even if my life depended on it," I tell him, but my words sound weak even to me.

"You can do better than that if you're trying to hurt my feelings." He drops to his knees and hugs my waist. "I'm sorry about earlier," his apology is muffled as he presses his lips to my stomach over the fabric of my dress, but I hear it all the same. I close my eyes allowing myself to enjoy the scene momentarily until I find my resolve.

"I don't care. Get up."

"Normally when someone apologizes you accept." He kisses my belly again. "I'm sorry," he says and deep down I think he means it, but I can't fall for another one of his games or cruel pranks. He'll go back to being an asshole the second I give in.

A lump presses at the back of my throat. I scrunch my fingers in his dark hair, yanking his head back so he's forced to look at me. "Your sorry is as empty as your heart." I release him and step around him, escaping into a bathroom before I change my mind and allow him to make a fool out of me.

I won't be his sloppy seconds because he's decided to be on the outs with Britney after rubbing her in my face all night. I hide in the bathroom until someone starts begging me to hurry up. I can tell by the desperation in their voice that it's not Kyson. As I open the door some guy shoves around me, and I shudder at the sound of him puking all over the place.

I make my way back to where I last saw Lauren.

"Hey. Where have you been?"

"Bathroom break," I explain, leaving out my run in with Kyson.

My skin flushes at the reminder of him going down on his knees to apologize.

I spot him in the kitchen doing more shots. At least this time he's not all over some chick.

I'm about to ask Lauren if she can give me a ride home but someone runs inside shouting, "Cops are here!"

Everyone takes off running toward the back door. Some are even desperate enough to go out the windows. I stick with Lauren, making our way to the back when Gauge slides up behind me, placing a hand to the small of my back. I lose sight of Kyson, but outside, as Gauge shoves me into the passenger side of his Bronco, I catch a flash of Britney's green hair as she's climbing into an older pickup truck with that other guy.

"What was up with that older guy?" I question Gauge as he cuts through the grass to avoid the police officers blocking the driveway.

He gives me a confused look but then he frowns. "Oh, you mean Brick? Trouble is what that guy is. But that was Kyson and Britney being their chaotic selves and ruining the rest of our lives along with theirs. You get used to it."

I shake my head. "I don't think I want any part of that."

"Can't say I blame you."

"So, hey." I change the subject. "Someone posted a picture of us outside of the fights. It looks like it's a gossip account about the school?"

"Why don't you ask your buddy Lauren about it?"

"She posted it?"

"Take it from me. No one here is your friend. Everyone wants something."

"And what is it that you want?"

"Honestly, at first it was to piss Kyson off, but I'm starting to like you."

"Fair enough."

He pulls off at a gas station. "Never got you that drink I promised," he states as he exits the vehicle.

While Gauge inside paying for gas and drinks, Kyson parks behind us. I'm trying not to be obvious about watching him through the mirrors when my door swings open and he's in the open space, scowling at me. "Fun's over. Time to go."

"I'm not going anywhere with you after your little performance back there."

"Get out of the truck, Dahlia."

"You don't own me."

He wraps his fingers tightly around my wrist and yanks hard enough to nearly send me toppling out of the truck if I wasn't strapped in.

"Are you insane? Really, Kyson? I want to know. Why are you like this?"

"You had your fun. Now it's time to go." We nearly get into a wrestling match as he tries to physically remove me from my seat while I'm still buckled in. "I'm not playing with you. Let's go. Now." He comes at me again, and yanks on the strap do my dress, testing the durability of the material.

"Get away from me." I struggle against him afraid my boob is going to fall out of my dress at any second. "You're drunk."

"Hey, man. What the fuck?" I hear Gauge snap as I sit upright, trying not to get choked by the seat belt.

"Stay out of it," Kyson growls, pinning my wrists over my head so he can unclip the seat belt.

"Don't be putting your hands on her like that."

"What's it to you? Let me save you some trouble. She's not going to fuck you if that's what you're after."

Tears burn at the creases of my eyes. "You're a real miserable prick, you know that? I hate you," I seethe as the moisture thickens, threatening to run down my face in hot, heavy streaks.

Kyson doesn't respond and we enter into a stare down. Gauge gives up trying to mediate and starts filling his tank up.

Tension crackles in the air around the three of us, and like a saint with perfect timing, Lauren drives up to the opposite gas pump. I unclasp the seat belt as she gets out of her car. "Hey guys," she calls out, not picking up on the tense vibes.

"Do you think I could spend the night with you?" I blurt out.

"Yeah. That's cool."

Kyson glares at me as I exit the Bronco and saunter past him to Gauge. "Thanks for…well I don't what but thank you. Tonight was interesting." I debate testing the limits of Kyson's patience further by kissing Gauge on the cheek, but I don't trust him not to start another fight. I can't handle another second of his drama.

"Don't mention it. And hey." He grabs a can of Coke off the hood of his truck. "Don't forget your drink." He has this uneasy smile on his face after the scene Kyson caused. I can't blame him. He knows how Kyson is better than I do.

I shoot him a jaunty smile and squeeze into the back left seat of Lauren's car since that guy she's had with her since the warehouse is riding shotgun.

"I'm Dahlia," I tell him, formally introducing myself, trying to pretend that none of what happened actually just happened. Except the fingerprints marking my arms tell another story.

"I know who you are. I'm Ray." I crinkle my brows and he grins. "Lauren told me about you."

"Only good things, I hope." I catch a glimpse of Kyson and Gauge exchanging words, but I can't hear what they are saying to each other.

"Nothing too bad." He reads my put-out expression. "Relax. I'm fucking with you."

"It's been a weird night." I don't relax until Kyson and Gauge both leave. Then I remember I should try to send Helen a text to let her know that I'm staying with Lauren. There's no way I'm going home with Kyson in the hateful mood he's in. Knowing him he'd drive me out to the middle of nowhere and leave me stranded so he could chase after Britney some more to make me look stupid.

"Thanks for this." I tug at the hem of the white and pink striped tank that matches the pajama pants Lauren loaned me to sleep in. "You sure your parents don't mind me just showing up and crashing?" Her parents didn't seem bothered more surprised than anything that I exist. Her mom shook my hand as though she needed to make sure I wasn't an illusion.

"Nope. They're probably glad to see I have a real friend. This will sound lame, but this is my first sleepover. Sad, right?"

"No. This only means we have to stay up late talking about boys and eating junk food."

That earns me a smile. "Deal."

"I do need to ask you something." I roll to my back on the cot Lauren's dad brought in from the garage.

"Sure. What's up?" She goes up, resting an elbow on top of her Hello Kitty comforter.

"Do you know anything about this picture that was posted tonight of Gauge and me?" I flash my screen her way.

Lauren bites her lip pensively. "Um…are you mad?"

"I'm worried about what Matt will have to say. If I ever text him back." I let out a sigh.

"Oh crap. The boyfriend. My bad. I can take it down."

I flip through my notifications. "I'm afraid it's too late for that."

Why are you ignoring me?

If this is your way of getting back at me because you were jealous, it's quite childish.

I'm not playing games.

Are you going to respond?

Really, Dahls. I expected better.

You know what don't call me. I think we need a break from each other.

My stomach churns and burns as I read through his hurtful messages. Maybe deep down, this is what I wanted. Him to make the choice that I was too chicken to.

"I should have told you about that. I run the site to earn money on the side for college."

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. For playing into all the drama between Kyson and his friends," I explain. The last thing I need is to have a tiff with the only friend I currently have. "Enough about my problems, though. Tell me about Ray."

Lauren goes into a spiral about how Ray has been number four on her crush list since her freshman year. It doesn't take a genius to know that the wolf pack takes up those other spots.

"He never paid attention to me before. I think he saw me hanging out with you and thought that made me cool."

"No way. You're awesome and anyone who doesn't see that sucks."

"Now I know you're being nice."

"I'm only hanging with you to help raise my rep," I tease.

"Shut up." She throws a teddy bear at me and the two of us erupt in a fit of giggles.

This is exactly what I needed.

"Sooo, you didn't say after we dropped him off. Are you guys going out? Did you exchange numbers? Is he a good kisser?"

"He got my number and I'm hoping he'll ask me. And yes. He's a great kisser. I think."

"You think?"

"Don't laugh and pinky swear you won't tell anyone."

"Of course." I hook my pinky with hers. "I swear."

"Tonight was my first kiss." Her cheeks redden and she glances away.

"Don't be ashamed. I've only ever kissed Matt and one other guy."

"I bet I can guess his name."

"Let's not and pretend that you did. Enough about boys. We need something scary to watch, but not too scary."

"Scream?" she suggests, while chewing on her thumbnail.

"All right. I know it sounds crazy, but the killers in that one were hot."

"When Billy licks the blood off his fingers. OMG." She grins.

"Right. Like did they have to make him so attractive?"

"I'm going to make us some popcorn, if you want to get the movie started." Lauren hands me the remote and goes to the kitchen. I find a streaming app and pull the movie up, waiting until she comes back to press play.

While I wait, I read through Matt's messages again. Even though it hurts, I know he's right. We shouldn't be together right now. I'm only avoiding the inevitable by stringing him along. We should have ended things before I moved here like I tried to do in the beginning.

I type out the only word I can without getting choked up.

Ok.

I hit send and watch the message change from delivered to read. The chat bubbles start to move, then stop. I stare at the bubbles, wondering what he's going to say, but they never move again. By the time Lauren returns, I give up on a response. It's for the best, but after all we've been through, for it to end in a text message seems all wrong.

I hug my knees to my chest and try to focus on the movie and gush about how cute Billy Loomis is with Lauren, but my thoughts are the last place they should be.

With Kyson.

Why was he so pissed at me for getting a ride from Gauge when he was there with Britney?

He has no reason to be jealous, but that part of me that craves his attention is turning cartwheels. What does that say about me?