Chapter Seventeen

Elena

I fear that I would get lost a few times, not sure which way to go, but I eventually end up back at my camp. I sigh with relief, noticing that nothing has been touched or disturbed in any way. I put down my camera bag cautiously, although there is no point. The camera is already broken. I know I have a second one, but I'm furious that Rock thought it was okay to do something like that.

I sit down on my blanket, closing my eyes. I allow the sound of whispering trees and the soft rustle of leaves to completely take over, in hopes that they will calm down my racing mind. The recent revelations haven't settled inside of me yet, and I have to admit that I don't know how to handle all these conflicting emotions.

I open my eyes, glancing at my bag. I wonder if I should just forget everything that happened, pack up my camp and go back to the familiarity of my previous life. It is at least something I am used to, something that won't have strange surprises aroundevery corner. It promises certainty, and sometimes, that isn't a bad thing at all. However, deep down, I know that these woods, the shifter village, will always hold a piece of my soul.

I inhale deeply, softly, listening to the steady drumbeat of my heart. I can hear what it wants. It is insisting that I stay here, with Rock and Cal, forgetting all about my dreams of finally taking that once in a lifetime photo that would make me famous and put me in the photography annals of the greats, for all times.

At that very moment, my mind conjures up the faces of both Rock and Cal. We've shared so much already, in this short period of time. Yet, I feel like I've been here for years, not just days.

Days… I chuckle to myself. All this happened in mere days? I can hardly believe it. And yet, here we all are, in this mess.

All these emotions inside of me are wreaking havoc. Anger is a searing flame, fueling all this internal struggle. I remember how Cal changed, how his body readjusted to its new frame of a bear. I could barely believe it. A part of me thought I was sleeping, that I was dreaming. But no amount of blinking or pinching would wake me up, because it was reality.

How could they keep such a secret from me, when they knew that was why I came here in the first place? I frown, looking down at my feet.

Then, a realization hit me. I've been wondering how they could keep such a secret from me, knowing that bear shifters were the reason I came here, but it didn't occur to me that they didn't tell me exactly because of that. I wanted that photograph more than anything in my entire life. I wanted it to be my ticket to proving to all those who knew me that I did amount to something. If I came back without anything to prove myself, what would become of me?

At that moment, I hear a noise. I lift my gaze in the direction where it came from. I thought I would be petrified, but strangely, I was not. I have been attacked twice already, and both times, the guys were there for me, when I didn't even expect them to be. Now was no different. I feel safe, even without them around. The thought makes me smile.

The noises become louder and louder, and then, without any warning, Rock appears out of the thick shrubbery. He locks his gaze with mine, and I can see the urgency in his eyes.

"Elena," he calls out my name in a way that makes my entire body tingle. "We need to talk."

I swallow heavily, standing up. I've never been able to hide how I feel about something or someone, so this can't be the first time. He can probably see all the storm of emotions in my eyes, but I don't mind. I don't want to hide anything from him. There is a moment of silence between us, our eyes doing all the talking. Then, his lips start to move.

"I understand you're upset," he tells me, and I have to admit that I wasn't expecting him to say any such thing. In fact, I thought that if anyone would come after me, it would be Cal. But seeing Rock here, it serves as proof that he is really trying to understand my point of view, and maybe even change.

"You can't possibly understand how I feel," I tell him.

"Maybe," he nods. "But I know that you have every right to be upset." He catches me off guard with that one. I don't say anything, so he continues. "You told us why you were here, and we… we kept our true identities a secret from you."

At least, we could agree on this. But that didn't bring us much closer than we were.

"It's not like I want to tell the world where your village is and show them every single one of you in your bear form as well as your human form," I blurt out.

He tilts his head a little as he's still staring at me. "What do you want?"

I shrug. "Just… take photos."

"Of us?"

"Well… yes," I nod.

"Do you understand the implications of that?" he inquires. I can tell that he doesn't want to argue. Strangely enough, he wants to understand.

"Well…" I say, stumbling upon my own words. "Maybe I haven't really thought it through."

"Tell me how you imagined it," he urges, taking a step closer to me.

I gaze somewhere behind him, into the distance. "All I ever wanted was to take a photo of something magical, something no one believed was ever possible. That has been my dream since I got my first polaroid from my aunt. My parents told her, and me also, that it was a silly hobby, that it served no purpose, that anyone can point a camera and click, that it took no special skill or talent." I pause, remembering those heavy words, which somehow shaped my destiny. In fact, if my parents never said that, I probably wouldn't even be here now. "I guess everything I did since then was in an effort to prove them wrong. I started taking simple photos, then they became more and more professional. But they were always something already seen, already felt. Then, I heard about bear shifters here, and something beckoned me to come."

"Something?" he echoes.

I lock my eyes with his. "Mhm. I can't really explain it. As soon as I came here and set up camp, a part of me felt as if I'd returned home." I chuckle. "Which is silly, because I've never really been here. How could I ever be home here?"

"How does that old saying go?" he wonders, trying to remember. "Home is where the heart is?"

"Yes, but how does my heart know this place?" I ask. "How would that even be possible?"

He shrugs. "We have many sayings as well. One of them is that we are not really individuals at all. We are all just a million little parts of a single whole, a single unity, and our instincts are actually the memories we have of a place we've never been to and people we've never seen."

I smile. "I like that saying."

He smiles back at me. "So, it could be possible that you do feel some connection to this place, without understanding why or how. And that is also why you can't leave."

I lift an eyebrow. "How did you know that I was considering leaving?"

"With everything that has happened, I would also," he admits, and I appreciate his honesty. The lines of tension in my shoulders begin to ease.

"But the truth is that you belong here, Elena. With us."

His words have a greater effect on me than I'm willing to admit.

"Only… in order to stay with us, you have to let go of what connected you to your previous life," he reveals.

"What is that?" I ask, although I think I already know.

He hesitates, but then continues. "Neither me nor Cal would ever ask you to give up doing what brings you pleasure. I see nothing wrong with photography. I actually find it a beautiful hobby. But… you can never take photos of us, the village, anything that can reveal our whereabouts or identity."

I gaze at him, then at the woods behind him. I feel torn between the two things I want, where I have to give up one of them. If I stay here, my dream of taking a photograph that will prove the existence of a mythical creature will be thrown to the wind. But if I leave, I know that I will regret it.

He senses my turmoil, so he approaches me and takes me by the hand.

"You can't tell me that you don't feel the same way Cal and I do," he whispers softly, in a way I've never heard him speak before.

I immediately blush upon hearing his words. He's right. I've fallen for them both but talking about it still makes me feel apprehensive.

"I..." I start, but I can't finish.

"You never thought that something like this could happen, that you are equally attracted to us both," he explains.

"Yes," I nod, biting my lower lip slightly nervously. "That's not… how things should go."

"Why not?" he asks, with a shrug. "Who decides these things?"

"Well, I don't know," I mumble.

"You should," he smiles. "It is your life, after all. You decide everything about it. You decide if you want to stay or go back to a life that obviously didn't make you happy."

I listen to him and realize he is right. He glances at my broken camera and takes it into his hand, examining it. "You know, I can fix this."

"I have another one," I admit. "So, it's alright."

"No," he shakes his head. "I shouldn't have done it, and I'm sorry. You shouldn't excuse inexcusable behavior."

"It's really not a big deal," I assure him.

"I would still like to apologize," he urged.

"Apology accepted," I tell him.

"Alright, now that we have that out of the way, you have to know that I can't leave you here all alone," he tells me matter-of-factly. "So, if you decide to stay here, I'll stay here. If you decide to come back with me to the village, we go back. Whatever we do, we do it together."

I chuckle not expecting this turn of events. A moment later, my voice takes on a more serious note. "Honestly? I don't want to go."

"Then don't," he quickly adds. "Come with me."

"But I will never leave my camera behind," I tell him honestly.

He inhales deeply. "I'm not asking you to."

"You are just asking me not to take photos of your clan and village."

"Yes," he nods.

"Can you trust me that I won't?" I ask him.

"You give me your word that you will never do that, and that is enough for me," he reveals. "Our worth is measured only by the worth of our word."

"Another saying?" I grin. He nods. "I like it."

"Most of our sayings are quite simple," he replies playfully. "You humans like metaphors too much."

"We do," I chuckle, realizing that my decision has already been made. Then, I remember something else. "But… your clan members…"

"What about them?"

"How will they feel about me in the village?" I ask, slightly apprehensive of the response he might give me.

"They will come around," he assures me. "Cal and I care about you. I think they could already see that. In light of what has been happening with the enemy bear clan, I think they will all be more focused on that than on you."

"I want to help," I suddenly say. "I want to prove to them that I can be trusted."

"You do?" His eyes light up at my words as he pulls me closer to himself. His body presses against mine, and my insides are immediately on fire.

"Yes," I nod. "Trust is not something that is given easily, and I understand that. I want to earn it, and I am willing to work for it."

"I think I could say the same about myself and Cal," he tells me.

Without any second thought, I press my lips against his, closing my eyes as I do so. When I pull away, he is staring at me lovingly.

"Alright," I tell him. "Take me to your village."

"No," he corrects me. "I'll take you to your new home."