Chapter Thirteen

Elena

I open my eyes with the guys still sleeping. The morning sun has painted the sky in hues of soft pinks and oranges. The remnants of sleep are still clinging to my consciousness, leaving me in a state of quiet confusion. The powerful emotions of the previous night still linger inside of me, a complex tapestry of feelings woven with threads of confusion and desire.

I look at Rock first. He is sleeping so soundly. He looks much more calm than when he's awake. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be the leader everyone looks up to. I don't know if I could ever carry so much burden on my shoulders. But he does. Every single day.

I turn to my left side and see Cal, who is also asleep. He is even smiling in his sleep. His hand is on my belly, and I gently move it to the side. He stirs at that exact moment. I wait to see if he will wake up, but he just readjusts himself and goes back to sleep.

I wonder if I should just stay here and face them when they wake up. But I feel slightly embarrassed that I initiated everything that happened last night. I have no idea where I mustered the courage for it. I've never done anything like that. First with Rock. Now with both of them.

Instead of being shocked and outraged with myself, I feel… content. I feel like, for the first time, I've done exactly what I wanted when I wanted it, without any fear of being judged. That is a fear that has cast a shadow on me my entire life. I felt like all eyes were always on me, just waiting for me to make a mistake. My sister used to love pointing them out to me. Luckily for her, there were a lot of them to point out. And my parents, instead of being on our side, bringing me and my sister closer together; were yet another tool which made me believe that my own family has always been my biggest obstacle in life, my biggest obstacle in being truly happy with who I was, who I am now.

I try not to dwell on that now. It doesn't matter. I am not there, and they are not here. That's why, I shouldn't even think about them. This is all about me, about being selfish, about doing what one wants and feels is right.

I glance at the guys once again, then silently grab my camera and tip toe away from them in an unknown direction. As I stroll through the woods, I can't help but be in awe of everything around me, from the way the dappled sunlight filters through the branches above me to the play of shadows on the earth floor. Everything sounds like a symphony, untouched by the hands of humans, which makes it all the more precious.

I have embarked on a solitary journey, but I don't feel alone. With my camera in hand, I feel like I'm on an adventure of a lifetime. In fact, ever since I came here, everything has been one adventure after another. The natural beauty around me only adds to the sense of awe and wonder. I feel as if this is a completely different world from the one I came from. I have reverted to the state of a child who is yet to discover the true beauty of the world. I have to stop and take a look at the delicate petals of wildflowers, the intricate patterns of tree bark, every blade of grass that grows up toward the sun. Each click of the shutter is a snapshot of a serene moment that will never happen again. And I am lucky enough to be here and see it all.

One step at a time, I delve more deeply into the woods, but I don't feel afraid. On the contrary, a part of me feels as if I belong here. Lost in a reverie, I find myself pondering the possibility of a life here, with Rock and Cal.

With both of them? That little voice inside of me wonders.

The answer is a resounding yes. I know it's strange in any way you choose to look at it. I know I would be judged back home for even considering something like that, but here, away from all the prying eyes, I feel liberated enough to be who I want to be, with whoever I want to be. If the guys were willing to share such an intimate moment together with me, maybe they would consider more than that.

I shake my head at myself. I am rushing ahead of myself as always. They probably see this as nothing more than just a fling. Suddenly, a tight grip of jealousy locks around me. What if this wasn't the first time they did something like that?

No. No. Well… maybe. I can't be sure, unless I ask. But would I ever ask them such a thing?

I blush immediately, just at the thought of such a conversation with them. But something assures me that all I have to do is ask. The very quietude around me invites more introspection, and I can't help but think of the simplicity of life here. I could take as many beautiful photographs as I would like. So, what if I don't make it to the cover of National Geographic or ever become famous as a photographer? Doing what I love for a living should be enough, even if I don't make a ton of money out of it. The very act of it is pleasure, and that old saying is right: if you do what you love for a living, you won't have to work a day in your life. The thought makes me smile.

The idyllic scenes around me only seem to fuel my daydreams, painting vivid pictures inside my mind that, at least for a brief moment, feel like a sanctuary away from the complexities of the world I left behind. But a hint of reality still lingers on, whispering that such a scenario might be too fantastical to materialize. How would they see it at the village? Would they accept me? They've already shown that they aren't too fond of outsiders. I can understand that, but at the same time, I can't.

I sigh heavily, as I keep going. But suddenly, my peaceful walk is interrupted by unfamiliar noises. At first, I think nothing of them. They're just noises from the woods I've been hearing for the past two hours. But then, my mind starts creating images caused by the rustling leaves and distant murmurs that send a shiver down my spine.

I look around, but I see nothing. In all honesty, I don't know what I expected to see. However, my instinct tells me that not is all as it seems. Without thinking, I quickly hide behind a dense bush, my heart beating in sync with the mysterious sounds which seem to be getting nearer and nearer.

Hidden behind the thick shrubbery, I peer through the leaves, trying to find out where exactly the sounds are coming from and who is making them. Suddenly, a flutter of birds explodes from a nearby tree. My senses are heightened as I strain to identify the nature of these very noises. Are they footsteps? Grunts? Whispers? Or something else entirely.

My breath catches in my throat, my entire body feels on edge. Something tells me I have to remain hidden, that this is my only chance of remaining safe. I steady my breathing, regretting that I didn't smear some mud on myself, to mask my scent. Then again, what does a city girl know about masking her scent?

The rustling leaves, the snapping twigs and low growls occupy my every waking thought, creating an atmosphere of fear. Moments later, the sounds materialize into a frightening figure of a bear. Towering and majestic, the massive, dark creature emerges from the shadows, its fur shimmering with a mix of sunlight and shadow.

My eyes widen in shock and disbelief. It is bigger than any bear I've ever seen before. It could tear my head off with one swing of its mighty paw. Frozen in my hiding spot, I can feel terror coursing through my very veins. The bear continues to amble through the underbrush, its senses focusing on its surroundings. From what I can tell, it hasn't caught my scent… yet. But it is only a matter of time.

The bear's massive paws pad silently on the forest floor, as it moves its enormous body. It stops occasionally to sniff the surroundings, grunting as it does so.

I wonder if running would be a good option. But on second thought, outrunning a bear, particularly in the dense woods, doesn't sound like it. I'm on the bear's terrain right now. If I start running, I have no idea where I would be going. But the bear knows. This is its home. So, I know that I need to remain motionless, hoping that the creature will simply continue on its path without detecting my presence.

I close my eyes, crossing my hands over my chest. I breathe slowly, inhaling, then exhaling. My entire body is trembling now even more than before, and I am counting the seconds until I can breathe freely again. But a moment later, I feel a shadow hanging over me, even though my eyes are closed. Fear courses through my veins. I know that opening my eyes will make my situation real again. But I know I can't just sit there doing nothing.

As soon as I open my eyes, I come face to face with a most terrifying sight. The bear is staring at me, with almost human eyes, wondering what to do. It is baring its teeth at me, dripping saliva down the side of his open mouth. There is a potent smell about him, something old, almost ancient and rotten. It almost makes me vomit.

I have two options now. One is to play dead, and the other is to do the same thing I did before, make myself as big and as loud as possible. Without thinking, I drop to the ground, covering the back of my neck with my hands. The bear could leave me alone, but at the same time, it could just continue to see me as prey. Vulnerable prey at that.

The bear approaches me, sniffing both around me as well as my entire body. That scent about it becomes even stronger, piercing through my very nostrils. It takes all of my conscious effort not to gag and move. I have to remain motionless. I feel like my heart is beating inside my throat, as the bear's wet muzzle moves over my face, my hands, my body in an effort to satisfy its curiosity.

Just remain calm, it will go away… I keep telling myself silently, fully aware of the fact that I put myself in this situation again, leaving the safety of Cal and Rock's presence. I think about them in this moment of need, wondering if they are still asleep, if they even know that I am in danger.

The bear is now breathing into my face, and I dare not open my eyes. If I do that, I'm afraid that I will die of fright. That's why I keep my eyes tightly shut, hoping that this will all be over.

At that moment, I feel the bear's paw on my side. It is trying to turn me over. That can't be a good sign… Before I can think of anything to do, I hear another bear growl.

Good God! I think to myself. Are there two of them now??

I open my eyes, unable to keep them closed any longer, looking over the bear's shoulder. But there is no other bear. Just… Cal and Rock.