Chapter 1

A strange scent—like fresh-fallen snow sprinkled with pine needles—sent a spike of alarm through my brain.

No, I don’t want to wake up.

Keeping my eyes closed, I willed myself to slip back into sleep and pulled the soft, warm comforter to my chin. The scent lingered in my nostrils, reminding me of how Jeremy smelled after a long day of chopping wood at the back of our cabin—his sweat mixing with the sunshine and freshness of the outdoor air.

But he's dead now whispered an internal voice of truth and pain always lying in wait during my weakest, saddest moments.

No, he’s not dead. Please. I don’t want it to be true.

Jarred awake, I launched to a sitting position and stared into the darkness of night, my hand reaching for his side of the bed, hope making my heart race. Once, just once, let the last two years be a terrible nightmare .

The blankets were cold and flat, and the memories of his loss crashed me into reality once more.

"I miss you," I said, choking back tears and caressing the pillow, his pillow. "What I wouldn't give to bring you back." The pain of his death lingered like an injured animal. "Will I ever learn to let you go?" How empty my life had become.

If we’d been able to get pregnant or if I’d pushed for adoption, maybe you’d still be here.

Knowing it was a selfish thought, it didn’t change the fact that had we started a family, things could’ve been different.

We'd both wanted kids, yet after several years of trying, a doctor had given us the bad news: Jeremy had been sterile. We'd discussed adopting, but something always got in the way.

Maybe we just weren't meant to be parents. Though tears had been shed, we'd managed to keep our love alive and dreamed of the day we'd be financially secure enough to adopt and have a big family. One year turned into five, and ten years turned into twenty. We'd finally managed to take the first step with an application when I'd turned forty-one and he'd hit forty-five, then tragedy struck.

No one in his family had ever experienced heart issues. Why didn't I make him go to the doctor for a checkup?

But I knew why. He seemed so fit and healthy. I'd never suspected his arteries were clogged and stiffened with cholesterol, not with how well we'd eaten. "Genetics," the emergency department physician had said. "Even the healthiest person in the world can't fight their genes. I'm sorry."

How I'd longed for the opportunity to be a mother, to raise miniature copies of me, of him, of caring for any child, so we could grow old and enjoy grandchildren, have the big family that we’d both yearned for.

He would've been a great father. I wiped sweat from my brow and inhaled deeply, knowing there'd be no more sleep tonight.

The slightest whisper of sound brushed the still air, and I frowned. What is that? Why did it smell like fresh-fallen snow? Summer currently reigned supreme even in the mountains of Colorado, with temps in the seventies and eighties most days, though the cool, fifty-degree nights felt delicious against my skin. I always left the bedroom window cracked when I slept. The sounds of wildlife and trees blowing in the breeze were a comforting background noise for rest.

But something's disturbing the night. The hackles on the back of my neck stood straight up. My intuition rarely failed me, and right now, it screamed wariness.

Gingerly, I slid open the drawer to my nightstand and dug around, sweeping my attention across the darkened bedroom. With no neighbors for miles on One Peak Mountain, I’d learned to enjoy my freedom but be cautious. If someone tried to break in, they'd find a five-foot woman with mousy brown hair, mismatched pajamas, and a sour attitude aiming a cocked pistol at their chest.

There you are. My fingers grazed the handle of my Glock's cold metal, sending a reassuring calm through my blood.

Bright, piercing light from outside flooded the windows, turning the dark bedroom into a blazing sun.

"Jesus.” Out of reflex, I jerked my fingers from the gun and protected my sight. The agony from the sudden blast of light piercing my brain.

It's the middle of the night. Why does it feel like the sun is eating the world?

As quickly as it started, the light seemed to turn off.

Probably some jackass teens outside got lost and used the driveway to turn around.

I opened my sight to the dark room once again. My retinas were still imprinted with a bright afterglow. I blinked a few times, hoping my night vision would return.

Swinging my feet out, I sat on the edge of the mattress. The coolness of the wooden slats pushed against my toes. My irises slowly adjusted, revealing the hard angles of my dresser, of the bench at the end of the bed, and the door cracked open a bit, letting in the subtle glow of the hallway nightlight.

Wait. I closed the door before I went to bed—I’m sure of it. I can’t sleep otherwise.

A terrifying sensation crept up my spine. What if I'm not alone?

I don't know why I thought this—sixth sense?—but a palpable presence lurked in my room. My breathing increased. Should I dive toward the nightstand or sprint into the hall?

"Shhh," whispered a male voice from dark.

My heart stopped.

Before I could react, something cold pressed against my temple. Everything turned black.

My head pulsed like a bowling ball slammed against a wall. "Ugh," I groaned. What a terrible nightmare. I stretched, not wanting to see the bright sunlight and empty spot beside me in the bed.

Someone spoke words in a strange language.

My mind immediately cleared, remembering last night’s weird dream. There’d been a male voice that had spoken. I opened my eyes and immediately regretted it.

Two beings— I can't call them men, because that would imply human —towered over me. They were definitely masculine judging by the pronounced muscles of their shoulders and necks, yet an otherworldliness lingered on their skin, a faint shade of purple. Definitely not human, so they can’t be real.

The one to my right squinted his electric blue peepers as he watched me. Two small horns jutted from his forehead, and long black hair fell to his chest.

He reached out an enormous hand and laid it on my stomach.

"The fuck you think you're doing?" I screamed, scrambling up and pushing myself away.

Unfortunately, I fell to the floor. Apparently, I'd been lying on a table. Something warm and hard bumped into my back, but I had zero time to look because the big purple guy— colored like Barney the dinosaur— strode closer, bending to look at me.

"Get away.” I tried to scramble upright, but the warm, hard thing at my back stopped me. Call them what they are, Lilly, aliens.

No-no-no-no. This was just a horrible dream, that was all. There was no such thing as aliens.

Yes, that's right. Just a nightmare, like losing Jeremy.

"Human female. We do not want to hurt you," said another voice from behind, right next to my ear. "But we will if you do not cooperate."

Barney reached a hand toward me.

I swallowed. If this was just a dream, they wouldn't really hurt me, right?

Still, I hesitated.

"I'd suggest taking his hand. He's much more patient than I," whispered the unknown voice in my ear.

I gripped the outstretched fingers and scrambled to my feet. As soon as I stood, I released Barney's fingers and turned, needing to keep them both in my vision to form a plan of escape.

The alien who'd been whispering in my ear looked similar to the other, though his eyes were a brilliant shade of yellow and his horns were curly. His stare, hard and unforgiving, sent a shiver down my spine.

"Why am I here?" I asked, trying not to panic.

"Because we wanted you," said Barney. my neck, and I screamed.

"Why do you yell? We will not harm you unless you try to escape."

I'm so fucked. God, if you're listening, I'd really like to wake up .

But nothing changed. I was in a room filled with blue light. As I surveyed my surroundings in an effort to ground myself, to stay calm, I saw more beds like the one I'd just fallen from, but these weren’t empty. Other people—men and women, not aliens—rested with their hands at their sides and slept.

But there was something off with them. Small circles of pink light glowed from their temples.

What the actual hell?

"They were not so lucky as you," whispered Barney, his words a low rumble.

"Lucky?" My voice, barely more than a squeak, sounded breathless.

"Their DNA was not a close enough match for what we needed."

"And what…what do you need them for?" Shut up, Lilly, just shut up. But my curiosity had always been my undoing.

"For mating."

I whipped my head around to stare at both aliens then backed away.

The golden-eyed, purple-skinned alien stalked forward, a look of interest on his face. He opened his mouth in what I thought to be a smile, revealing sharp teeth like daggers.

Something bumped the back of my spine and I froze. Another table, probably, but I didn't dare take my attention from the alien because he stalked forward, a predatory gleam in his stare.

"Do you smell that, Baraxen? She's primed and ready for us."

Barney—or Baraxen—walked toward me, his eyes softening. "Stop it, Voren. You're scaring her."

"Good. She should be scared. To be bonded and mated with not just one Volderen—but two—will test her limits." The purple alien named Voren stalked right against me, his face only inches from mine.

"I'm not mating with you monsters." True panic stirred in my bones. Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up.

"Perhaps not yet, but you will, Lilly." Voren flicked out his split tongue and ran it over his fangs. "And I promise you this," he said, his form no more than an inch away.

I tried not to cringe, but it was no use. Terror poured through me. Would I become like these other human beings lying motionless in their beds? Would they experiment on me? Was this really happening?

"I will have you screaming from the pleasure we will bring. As long as you behave. If not," he dipped his head and laid a hand on my neck, "we will punish you which brings its own kind of pleasure, though you may not see it that way."

I ran, but he was faster. Gripping my shoulder, he bent his mouth toward mine, our breaths mingling. "First lesson, Lilly. Never run. It excites the beast within me."

My muscles shook. Tears threatened to spill onto my cheeks. Don't you dare cry. But if I cried, it would be from the anger building inside of me. "Fuck off," I spat, raising my knee at the same time.

The smack of my leg smashing his crotch gave a satisfying thump. I just hoped he had balls in the same place human men did.

Apparently so, because the big alien stumbled backward and collapsed to his knees. " D'janit deh- o!" He motioned to Baraxen, then to me. "Tame her, Brax, or I will."

Baraxen's blue eyes seemed to sparkle with mirth as he responded to the other man in the same language.

Voren snarled, then slowly got to his feet, his hands still cupping his crotch. "You will pay for that." Turning, he stalked away. A door in the wall opened with a quick hiss of sound and he disappeared.

"You shouldn't have done that," Baraxen said. He held out a hand. "Come. I'll take you to your quarters."

"Go fuck yourself." I wasn't about to be a good little human for these aliens. "You took me from my home. You kidnapped me."

He stopped a few feet away and crossed his arms over his chest. Where Voren resembled a gladiator, Baraxen had a runner’s body with sleek, toned muscle built for stamina.

"It may seem that way right now, but your perspective may change once you get to know us."

"I don't want to know you. I don't want anything to do with you."

"What you want doesn't matter. It's what we need." He gestured behind me, where the other humans slept or dreamed or whatever. "If you don't cooperate, these people will die. You're the only one who can save them."

"What?" He's trying to manipulate me into obedience, that's all. Yet something in his words felt dire.

"Come with me. Don't force us to make this happen. Voren enjoys submission, but I do not. I'd prefer my mate to be my equal and a little less feral."

"I'm not your mate. We're not even the same species." Maybe I should've been more concerned about being held captive on an alien ship, but the idea of mating with these barbaric aliens made my skin crawl.

"Which is exactly why your DNA calls to ours. Survival of a race depends on strength, adaptability, and lust. Tell me you don't feel it, too."

I stared at his angular face, his light violet skin, the short horns on his head, the flowing black hair, and I couldn't deny there was something primally, dangerously attractive about him.

But only him. Not that psycho, Voren.

My thoughts shamed me. Jeremy had been my husband, and we'd loved one another fiercely for the past twenty years. Dead or not, he could never be replaced.

"Do I have a choice?"

Baraxen shrugged. "In some matters." He nodded toward a sleeping female with red hair. "You can choose to save your people and live a life of luxury, or you can choose death."

I take it back. He's an asshole, too.

"So much for being a mate," I mumbled.

"Not your death. Once bound, you'll benefit from our enhancements. But those individuals? Yes. They will perish if you choose not to be a willing subject.”

"This is crazy shit. This dream is ridiculous." I raised my hand to slap him, but his reflexes were sharp.

He held my wrist midair, his six-foot-four frame towering over me. "Do that again, and you will face the consequences. Voren and I will each take turns subduing you."

The way he looked while threatening to punish me made my thighs clench together. What the hell? Why am I turned on? They literally abducted me from my home.

His bright blue gaze focused on my lips.

I tried yanking my wrist away, but his grip grew tighter. With his other arm, he jerked me into his chest and grabbed under my arm, lifting me off my feet.

"Hey, stop that. Put me down right now!" The sensation of floating in the air cooled the desire flooding my veins.

He threw me over his shoulder without a word and began walking.

The world swam and my sensation of up and down made me dizzy, but I began beating his bare back with my fists. "You son of a bitch. Let me go."

His strides were long as he maneuvered through the long room and out the exit with a whoosh.

Cool air touched my skin.

He never said a word, just kept walking down a corridor with metal walls and floors.

I raked my fingernails across his back. Blue blood welled from the cuts. Instead of the tang of copper, something like ice or snow met my nose.

He grunted but didn't break his stride.

Is this a dream? I remembered reading somewhere that in dreams, a person couldn’t smell.

Oh God. No. This cannot be real. It. Can't.

Another set of doors swooshed open, and he stepped into darkness. Grabbing me by the waist, he slid me off his shoulder and released me. I floundered as I fell, reaching for anything to stop the fall, but a soft thud under my belly cushioned the blow.

I immediately tried to rise, but pressure against my shoulders kept me down.

"Do not make this harder than it has to be," he said, his tone low and close to my ear. "I do not take pleasure in pain. But Voren? Well, if you continue to fight, he will break you. Do you understand?"

I froze. Baraxen sounded serious. Out of the two aliens, Voren seemed the most volatile. If I wanted to live, I needed to pay attention, pretend to cooperate, and devise a way to escape, though I had no idea where I was even at.

"I-I understand." Choking out those words felt like defeat.

"Good." The pressure at my back lessened, and that fresh-fallen snow scent got stronger. "Now tell me. What makes you wet, little human?"

My breathing quickened. He is not asking me what I think he's asking, is he?

I turned to give him the side-eye. "What?"

He leaned over, putting a leg on either side of my hips, and licked my bare shoulder.

A burst of pleasure tightened my lower belly. Oh Jesus, that feels good. Mortification chased the sensation of pleasure. Jeremy. I'm still married to Jeremy. I can't do this. These assholes have taken me from my home, threatened me, and now they want to screw me?

Yet, if I fought, I would die. Perhaps not by this alien's hand, but surely by Voren's. He hated me. The feeling's mutual, buddy.

Brax flicked his tongue along my jawline.

I shivered with revulsion and lust. Something in his saliva must've reacted with mine, making me respond with such desire. Hell, maybe they carried some sort of drug and released it with their tongue.

"Do you like that, Lilly? I can make you experience things you've never felt before. Give in. Let me show you how Volderens make love."

His touch, so gentle and sweet, undid me. I can’t fight them. Fighting will make it worse. Tears pooled on my bottom eyelashes, and I pushed my face into the mattress. Please let this be a dream, God. Please.

"Why do you cry? Does this not feel good?" He shifted his weight off of me, and his long, warm body settled next to mine.

Instead of answering, I sobbed harder.

He stroked my hair. "Shh. It will be okay. I promise."

"No, it won't," I said, raising my head to look at him. Dark hair framed his head, but he kept quiet. "Please, don’t make me do this. I miss my husband. I want to go home." Would my plea do any good? Everything I said was true. Since Jeremy's heart attack, I'd been alone with his ghost, not really living, but existing; my mind always focused on the memories and loneliness.

"I promise we will take you home, if that's what you want, once you give us what we need."

"Really?" I hiccupped, the tears slowing. "You'll really let me go?" Was it a ruse to get me to cooperate? I couldn't stop the flaring hope in my chest.

"I swear it, Lilly, as long as you obey and do not try to escape or hurt anyone again. Can you do this for me?"

An image of Voren, how angry he'd been when I’d kneed him in the balls, sprang to mind.

"What about your friend, that Voren guy? He hates me."

Baraxen chuckled. His teeth, though sharp like the other alien, didn't scare me the same way. "Vor is my brother first and friend second. He does not hate you. Dislikes perhaps, but that's just because he's scared of you."

"Scared of me ? Why?" It was preposterous to imagine I struck fear into such a large, imposing alien.

"Because he’s had a horrible experience with humans. Knowing your…significance to our cause…is an unwelcome thorn in his side."

"A bad experience with humans ?" Disbelief tinged my words.

"Abduction isn’t exclusive to your race." His icy stare flicked over my face. "The difference, though, is we learn from our tests. Humans, on the other hand, only destroy, take, and conquer out of their fear and need for power."

He had a point based on our history books.

"Why am I important? Why do you need me?" I carefully pushed myself to sit, hugging my knees, keeping my distance and attention on his hands.

Baraxen watched but made no move to stop me. "Our race will not survive what's to come. Which means putting aside an ages-old rivalry with your secret human government."

I glanced around, hardly believing I sat there talking calmly with him. I'd never believed in UFO/UAP sightings, and barely watched anything sci-fi related. My belief had always been people who saw little green men were nuts.

Turns out they're purple, humongous, and I'm the crazy one.

My eyes wandered as my brain digested this new information. The room had no corners. Everywhere I looked were smooth metal walls. Only a bed and couch sat on the thick, white carpet. A folding screen—decorated with blue symbols and words I didn't understand—jutted against the farthest wall. I wondered if these Volderens peed because the urge built in my bladder.

"Your government is not kind to those who would help," Brax said, his words drawing my attention.

"What? I don't understand."

“Since ancient times, Mesopotamian to be exact, my ancestors have visited Earth looking for the source code under relative anonymity. Unfortunately, we’ve had a few major ship malfunctions over the past few decades.

“Like crashes?”

He nodded. “Instead of offering aid, humans chose to imprison and inflict pain on survivors, and even succeeded in confiscating pieces of our technology.”

I shivered at the coldness in his tone. His lips turned downward, and he stood. "Voren…" He shook his head as if realizing he said too much. "Never mind." He pointed to the screen. "There are facilities for you to use, and if you get hungry or thirsty”—He swiveled and pointed to an alcove near the door—“just stand facing the replicator and tell it what you want."

I'd like a gun and some mace. I wondered if it would make a weapon to help me escape.

"And don't entertain trying to leave."

I glanced upward at the tall alien, hoping my thoughts didn’t show.

"One foot outside this door without our approval, and you will be shackled and lose all privileges. Do you understand?"

Biting my lip, I looked away. Was I really a prisoner of extraterrestrial beings?

No. No way. This isn’t real.

"Lilly," he said again, stepping closer and bending so his eye level met mine. "Do not try to leave. It will be so much worse. We are in orbit above Earth, so even if you did manage to find a way out, there is nowhere to go. I would not see you suffer needlessly."

How do I know he's telling the truth? If there's really nowhere to go, then why warn me? But I had to play their game if it meant surviving.

"Okay. I won't." My words were weak, and I schooled my demeanor into meekness. Please believe me .

"I’ll return in a few Earth hours. Freshen up, eat, and get rest. You will need it for what is to come.” His gaze flitted down my form. "You are the precious gift we have been expecting and the key to our plan. Do your part, and you’ll be returned to your planet if you choose."

What exactly is my part, though? I fought against shivering. Maybe it’s not as dire as it sounds. I wanted off of this ship of barbaric assholes asap, so I’d cooperate for as long as I could, all while looking for a way out.

I tried not to linger on his message after he left. 'You will need it for what is to come.'

Wings of panic beat inside my mind but I stuffed it down. Keep calm and focus. One thing at a time.

Since I wouldn’t be able to sleep, I decided to scout the room. If there were vents or other spaces large enough to slide into, I’d find them. Still in my pajamas, I rolled the flannel sleeves and ran my hands up and down the nearest silver wall, touching its smooth surface for any kind of indentions or seams.

Nothing. This room, bare and sterile, offered absolutely zero ways to escape. Unlike Earth-made things, there were no corners or angles besides where the floor connected with the walls. Overhead, the domed ceiling shone light, though it seemed to seep through the metal because there were no visible bulbs. I didn’t have a clue how it worked, and I couldn't have cared less. Freedom and escape rang through my thoughts.

My future with these Volderens didn’t look good. Especially seeing those other unconscious humans, their forms laid out like bodies in a morgue. Their chests rose and fell, so I knew they weren't actually dead, but I didn't want to find out how they became vegetables.

No. I'll fight these dickheads with all my strength.

But first, I needed food to keep up my strength.