Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

“ C ece, can you believe how beautiful it is outside today?” Evie exclaimed, her laughter echoing off the polished walls of the Holloway halls. “It’s finally stopped snowing, and the sun is out!”

Nathaniel chuckled, his eyes sparkling as he locked eyes with his betrothed. “We certainly couldn’t have picked a better day indeed.”

Cecilia smiled, feeling the warmth of their camaraderie wash over her. They strolled towards the door, laughing and chatting and for a moment, it truly felt like a good day.

However, just as she was fully relaxed, a shadow fell over them, a familiar figure walking up to them from a corner.

“What are you three up to?” Alistair asked, his voice smooth yet commanding, halting their lively banter. Cecilia’s heart raced at the sight of him.

He stood tall, his dark hair tousled in effortless charm. His deep-set eyes, the color of stormy seas, flickered from Nathaniel to Evie, and finally landed on her.

Cecilia felt her breath catch in her throat. He’d been occupied with work and she hadn’t seen him in a couple days that felt like ages. The mere sight of him sent a jolt of energy through her.

She couldn’t find the words to respond to his question. Instead, she instinctively curtsied, her cheeks flushing as she averted her gaze, feeling the heat radiate from her skin.

Alistair’s eyes lingered on her for what felt like a moment too much as he nodded in response before returning to Nathaniel and Evie.

“Evie suggested taking a walk in the park, it is a lovely day,” Nathaniel said, glancing at Cecilia with a smile. “And we’ve invited Cecilia to be our chaperone.”

Alistair’s gaze shifted back to Cecilia immediately, and she felt him scrutinizing her. Her heart raced in her chest, each beat echoing in her ears, and she didn’t know why. The way he looked at her made her feel like her presence was the center of attention.

His gaze lingered on her for what felt like an eternity, his expression unreadable, before he nodded slightly and turned his attention back to Nathaniel and Evie. “So, you’re off to the park, then?” he asked, his tone shifting to one of casual interest.

“Yes!” Evie chimed in, her enthusiasm unwavering. “We thought to enjoy the rare sunshine and perhaps have a little picnic. Cecilia would be there with us the whole time, brother. You need not worry.”

Even though she avoided his gaze, Cecilia could feel Alistair’s eyes shift back to her, and the scrutiny in his gaze sent her heart racing anew.

What was it about this man that makes me feel so exposed, so vulnerable?

As he studied her, she felt a wave of panic wash over her. She fidgeted with the hem of her dress, her mind racing with thoughts.

Can he see how my heart races? The way my hands tremble?

She desperately wanted to look up, to meet his gaze, but the weight of his attention felt too intense, too consuming.

“No, that cannot happen,” Alistair suddenly declared, shaking his head firmly. His dark hair fell slightly over his forehead as he spoke, his jaw set in a way that made it clear he was serious.

Cecilia’s brows shot up, surprise flickering across her face. “What do you mean, brother?” Evie asked, her voice tinged with worry and a slight annoyance.

Alistair’s gaze hardened slightly as he replied gruffly, “You cannot go out with Miss Everton as your chaperone. It’s simple.”

Cecilia felt a rush of heat flood her cheeks, a mix of indignation and confusion. “And why not, Your Grace? I’m not occupied and perfectly capable,” she blurted out, unable to stop herself. She could feel the eyes of Evie and Nathaniel on her, but it was Alistair’s dismissive gaze that stung the most.

His eyes skimmed over her without a flicker of acknowledgment, and he turned back to Evie and Nathaniel, proposing instead that they join him. “I’ll take you guys out. You cannot have her as a chaperone,” he stated flatly, as if her presence were an afterthought.

Cecilia felt a tingling sensation spread through her body at his words, a mix of anger and embarrassment. “Forgive me, but this makes little sense, Your Grace. We were just about heading out the door. And what if you hadn’t met up with us?”

She glared at him. “What would’ve been the worst to happen? I’m just as responsible as anyone else. I know what’s expected of me as acting chaperone,” she argued, her voice rising slightly in pitch.

Alistair crossed his arms, his stance rigid. “You’re young and unmarried, Miss Everton. It’s inappropriate,” he replied, his tone leaving no room for negotiation.

Cecilia knew he was right, but the words felt like a slap in the face. “Yet that’s so archaic. Why should my marital status dictate my ability to be a chaperone?”

From the corner of her eye, Cecilia saw the couple’s concerned faces. Evie watched the exchange, her eyes darting between them, while Nathaniel shifted awkwardly, as though to ease the discomfort.

“Your Grace, we intend to have a good day, and we shall not take long either, you can be sure of that. It’ll be a wonderful time!” Nathaniel suggested, eager to bridge the growing divide.

Alistair’s expression didn’t change, his dark eyes unwavering as he held Cecilia’s gaze. “It’s not about the time spent. It’s about what’s proper,” he insisted, his voice steady.

Cecilia felt a rush of determination. She wasn’t going to back down easily. “I can handle myself, Your Grace. You need not worry, I care not for gossip and judgement,” she declared, fully ready to fight for her place.

“Enough of this,” Nathaniel exclaimed, stepping between Cecilia and Alistair, his voice firm yet calm. He ran a hand through his hair, glancing between the two of them with an air of exasperation. “How about we all just go together?”

Alistair glared at Cecilia for a moment extra, then nodded instantly, his posture rigid as he turned on his heel, not sparing her a second glance. “That works,” he said, his tone clipped, as he strode toward the door, the sound of his boots echoing against the wooden floor, leaving a tense silence in his wake.

Cecilia clenched her hands into fists at her sides. The heat of her anger flushed her cheeks, contrasting with the coolness of the room.

What a conceited man.

Evie, soft-spoken, glanced nervously between them, her wide eyes darting about as if searching for a way to defuse the situation. “Come on, Cece, it’ll be alright. Let’s have a good day.”

But her words felt hollow against the backdrop of Alistair’s dismissive retreat.

“Couldn’t you at least try to act civil?” Cecilia muttered under her breath as they rocked about the carriage.

Alistair, sitting across from her, merely glanced out the window, his jaw set and brow furrowed. The carriage rattled along the cobblestone streets, the silence hanging heavily like a storm cloud ready to burst.

Cecilia sent him glares, however he did not look her way once. She couldn’t help but feel his presence was draining the life from the day.

If you weren’t here, we’d be having a great chat.

Once they arrived at the park, the sun dipped low in the sky, casting warm golden hues over the lush greenery. Nathaniel and Evie, hand in hand, walked ahead, their laughter mingling with the rustle of leaves.

Alistair instinctively moved closer to them, his posture relaxed but eyes darting back to Cecilia, who was trailing behind with a determined look.

“Your Grace, we could give them some space, as long as they’re in sight,” Cecilia said sharply, her voice firm as she fell in step with him, glancing up disapprovingly, “They wanted this time alone. You can watch from a distance.”

Alistair scoffed, crossing his arms, his tall frame casting a long shadow on the ground. “And this is the chaperoning you’d have done if they truly depended on just you?”

Cecilia’s heart raced, frustration boiling over. “Just because you might not trust what you would do in their position doesn’t mean you can ruin their day,” she shot back, her emerald eyes blazing with defiance. “My brother has honor, Your Grace.”

Alistair’s jaw tightened, his striking features hardened with irritation. “You’re always itching for a fight, aren’t you?” he retorted, turning to walk forward, but Cecilia wasn’t finished.

Without thinking, she reached out and grabbed his wrist, her fingers wrapping around his skin, the heat of her touch surprising them both. “We can watch them from here, Your Grace,” she said, her voice softer now .

Alistair turned back to her in shock, his expression shifting from annoyance to something more vulnerable. Instantly, their eyes locked, and the air thickened with an unexpected intensity.

Cecilia flushed and let go of his hand, the warmth of his skin lingering on her fingers as she realized what she had done. The park was quiet, the evening air cool against her heated cheeks.

From the corner of her eye, she could see Evie and Nathaniel walking ahead, almost out of sight, but the thought of chasing after them felt distant now. Alistair stood before her, his expression a mix of disbelief and something deeper, a fire igniting in his stormy blue eyes.

“You really enjoy this, don’t you?” he tone was a growl as he shook his head slightly, his dark hair falling over his forehead. The way he spoke, with that edge of challenge, made her heart race as always.

“Enjoy arguing with you? Hardly,” she retorted, crossing her arms defensively, though the gesture did little to shield her vulnerability. “I simply feel someone has to call you out whenever you resort to being self-centered. Again, you feel your idea of propriety matters more than your sister’s happiness.”

Alistair’s jaw clenched, and she could see the muscle twitching beneath the skin, a sign of his rising fury. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he snapped, taking a step closer, his towering figure casting a shadow over her. “I value Evie’s safety above everything else. You have no idea what it’s like to carry that burden.”

Cecilia’s breath hitched in her throat, the tension between them thick like fog. “You still believe you’re the only one carrying such care for her?” she fired back, fueled by the adrenaline coursing through her veins. “You won’t be her guardian much longer, and it seems you intend to suffocate her till the end.”

Alistair’s eyes flared with anger, but there was something else there, a flicker of hurt that made her pause. “Suffocate? I’ve raised her. I’ve watched over her when no one but me could stand for the family.”

Cecilia took a step back, feeling the cool air hit her face, grounding her so suddenly. “All I’m saying is, perhaps it’s time to loosen the reins, Your Grace.”

Alistair stepped forward, the space between them crackling with energy. His scent enveloped her, intoxicating and familiar. “You think you know better than me?” he challenged, his voice low and intense, his breath almost brushing against her skin.

Cecilia’s heart was loud in her ears. “Maybe I do,” she whispered defiantly, “maybe it takes looking in from the outside to understand this. What I’ve wanted for a while is to understand you, Your Grace,” She sighed, the weight of her words hanging in the cold air. “All it takes is for you to open up a little.”

The silence that followed felt heavy, almost suffocating. Nathaniel and Evie were now out of sight, leaving them in a world that seemed to have paused, the only sounds being the soft crunch of snow underfoot and the distant rustle of branches. The ground was blanketed in white, but the chill in the air contrasted sharply with the heat building between them.

Alistair stood there, his dark brows furrowed, a tempest brewing in his stormy blue eyes. For a moment, Cecilia feared he would turn away again, retreating into the shadows of his guarded heart.

“Why do you make this so difficult?” she pressed, desperation creeping into her tone. “I’m not your enemy.” She felt exasperation taking over her. “Yet, you seem so bent on making me so. I am so tired of this, of the way you look at me, of how you-”

But before she could finish, Alistair closed the distance between them, his expression shifting from frustration to something more primal. In a heartbeat, he cupped her face with his strong hands, his fingers warm against her chilled skin.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” he breathed, and the intensity in his gaze sent shivers down her spine.

Then, without warning, he kissed her. It was a kiss that ignited the air around them, fierce and consuming. His lips were soft yet demanding, coaxing hers open as he deepened the embrace, the warmth of his body enveloping her as she melted against him.

Cecilia’s heartbeat skewered, panic and exhilaration intertwining as she responded, her hands finding their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the dark strands. The kiss was forbidden, electric, filled with a desperation that spoke of unvoiced desires and hidden fears. She could taste the hint of winter on his lips, mixed with something uniquely him—an intoxicating blend that made her head spin.

As they pulled away, breathless and wide-eyed, the reality of their situation crashed back in. The quietness of the park felt deafening, yet the air between them crackled with loud thoughts.

“Cecilia, are you certain about what you said?” Alistair’s voice was low, almost a whisper, as he stood just inches away, his breath mingling with hers in the frosty air. He reached out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers brushing against her skin, igniting a spark that coursed through her.

Caught in the haze of the moment, Cecilia felt the remnants of their kiss lingering on her lips. She wanted more, desperately. Her eyes searched his, pleading silently for him to close the distance again, to take her in his arms and kiss her like he had moments before.

“Are you sincere about not wanting to get married?”

Cecilia found herself overwhelmed by his question, her thoughts spiraling as she considered her dreams of publishing her research, of becoming an author, and whether that future included a marriage she had always thought she wanted to avoid.

“I—” she began, but the words caught in her throat. The weight of his gaze bore down on her, and she hesitated, feeling the tension between them thickening like the snow around their feet.

Alistair’s stormy blue eyes searched hers, a mix of curiosity and concern flashing across his features. He was striking, with chiseled features and a strong jawline that seemed to set in determination, but in this moment, he appeared vulnerable, as if her answer held the key to something deeper.

The silence stretched uncomfortably, and Cecilia could sense the shift in his demeanor. Her heart sank as she realized that her hesitation spoke volumes. His expression darkened at last, and he took a step back, the warmth of his presence suddenly replaced by an icy void.

No… Wait…

“I’m sorry for the kiss,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, heavy with regret.

Before she could respond, he turned away, the distance between them growing with every step he took. Cecilia felt a pang of emptiness wash over her, a hollow ache where warmth had once thrived. Panic surged within her, and she reached out instinctively, but the space between them felt insurmountable.

“Wait…”

But the whisper echoed into the stillness, falling flat against the cold air. He paused, but didn’t turn back, leaving her standing there, breathless and yearning all over.