1. HENRY

My first day at Kline, Dorsey & Moore was tomorrow. I’d probably decided on the suit I was going to wear several times over. Wearing suits didn’t come easy to me, I hated the feel of the constriction of a tie and a shirt collar. I’d much rather be in a onesie with my roommate, Fallon and play with our stuffies. It was a calming thought, but then I reminded myself there was an adult who had a job, and I couldn’t always regress to being a little whenever I was nervous.

Tomorrow was the start of a new life for me. Finally, my foot in the entertainment law sector. I didn’t know what got me across that final hiring post, but when the call came through from their HR department with the offer, I almost screamed at them. An excited scream. I was about to make double the amount I was paid working at my dad’s small law firm. I told him I was leaving, and I assumed the world around me would crumble, instead, her gave me a pat on the back and wished me luck. He never wanted me to stick around at the firm, and it helped him because they were downsizing.

“Is that it?” Fallon asked, appearing in the doorway of my bedroom, a bowl of ice cream in hand and two spoons. “Whatever you wear, you’ll be great. Because it’s not about the clothes on your back, it’s about the brain in your—in your head.”

I huffed, taking a spoon from the bowl. As we ate the ice cream, we looked at the clothes on the hanger propped up on the side of the wardrobe door. “These people deal with fashion houses, movie stars, musicians,” I said. “They’re gonna expect me to dress in fancy clothes, and you know the last expensive shirt I bought was ruined by a good glass of red wine.”

“You can afford it,” he said in a devilish growl, like the devil on my shoulder. “Not that I’m saying just because you can afford something, you should splash your cash on it, but if it’s really something you’ve got big feelings about, then I say go on a shopping spree.”

“It’s a bit late for that now,” I told him. “All the stores are closed.”

“Tomorrow, scope out your colleagues and y’know, just tell them you’ve got stuff in dry cleaning.” Fallon shrugged. “All that fancy lingo, dry cleaners, door men, concierge. Oh, that sound fierce. Concierge .” He went on like that until the bowl of ice cream was empty. I loved having him around, even if I could sense he would move out any day now that his boyfriend, Sterling was just across the river.

“You’re gonna have to leave now, and keep it down,” I said. “Because I need my beauty sleep. And if it all goes to shit, I’m coming to the toy store and I’m buying several new teddies.”

Fallon applauded and then paused. “Wait. No. I don’t even work on commission there,” he said. “I want to support you on that also, but you should just work through the day, make a good impression to everyone, and then see who you can brown nose and get ahead.”

In law school I had clerked and interned for firms, so I knew the lay of the land in a law firm not owned and operated by my father. It was going to be difficult at first, I knew that. I also knew there was only one person who could actually help me feel better about it. His screenname was DaddyKringle , we’d started talking online from a forum all about Christmas romance movies. They were my absolute favorite, I just wish they would have more gay representation. We’d been talking since Christmas last year and recently we stopped using the forum chat and started using email. It meant creating a new email address as I didn’t want him immediately finding me. I had a basic email address, my name followed by my birth year. Daddy Kringle knew me as Legal Elf.

After brushing my teeth and grabbing a glass of water, I typed up an email to Daddy Kringle. We buddy watched movies together, not at the same time, usually we’d sync them up to watch the same night.

‘Hi, sorry for the late email. I’m just in bed, wondering if we’re ever going to find out if Mona Gerber from A Christmas Jam is going to tell us what was ever in her jam that made the absolutely dashing love interest fall head over heels for her. I’m also distracting myself, I’ve got a big day tomorrow, and I just needed something to take my mind off it. I hope you’re doing well, I know you mentioned a trip to France, I’m jealous, I love France. Maybe you’ll find some romance there, who knows, you might even find Mona’s Christmas jam. If you do, tell me what was in it. Please and thank you.

Yours, Legal Elf.’

We didn’t share our first names. I think we both liked it better that way. He responded minutes later, almost like he knew to check his email, and knew I needed a response from him.

‘ Hello, your order of Christmas jams are on their way. I’m kidding. I wish the forum was any help with it, but they’re all so boring saying it was probably strawberry jam. Whatever you’ve got going on tomorrow, I wish you the very best of luck, sometimes nerves get the best of us but I find that taking a moment to collect yourself when it all gets on top of you to help. And if you need it, I’m sending you a large hug through this email as well. And France was France, all work, no play, and certainly no jams, unless you count the little pot I got with breakfast, but it wasn’t that good, definitely not worthy of Jared confessing his love for Mona over. Also, did you see the upcoming movie, the one about the chocolatier who creates a husband out of chocolate. He comes to life, of course. It’s called Dashing through Cocoa. Let me know if you’re interested.

All yours, Daddy Kringle.’

I held my phone to my chest at his response. In my mind, he had a deep, raspy voice that sent tickles down my spine when he spoke. We’d flirted occasionally, but we’d never done anything outwardly sexual with each other. We’d never even seen each other. I was kind of scared to see him, and to show him me. What if we’d crossed paths before? What if he was an ex-boyfriend?

‘ I thought you’d be in bed with jetlag still. I’m ready to know how she does that. I might have to try and take some pointers. I’m no chocolatier, but I could definitely try if it meant I’d make my ideal man. I’m off to sleep now, and I will accept that hug, I hope it’s heavy like a weighted blanket.

Thanks for everything, Legal Elf.’

Sleep was always difficult to come by when something was happening. As a kid when I knew the next day was a field trip, I’d lay beside my clothes and I’d barely sleep, excited to visit the museum or zoo, whatever it was. I didn’t have my suit beside me on the bed, but I did have my stuffed animal, a lion named Arnold, he was my emotional support who’d seen me through everything.

My alarm woke me at the ass crack of dawn. My smart watch beeped at me, telling me I didn’t get enough sleep. I tried to play it off like I would a day at my father’s firm, wake up, shower, shave, get dressed, drink coffee—scratch that, drink coffee over the sink and do not spill a single drop on my clean suit. Double check my briefcase for a fresh legal pad, the pen I was gifted on graduation, and all my onboarding paperwork, including my degree.

And I was ready.

Nope. I needed to take a nervous pee before leaving the apartment.

Kline, Dorsey & Moore were a prestigious firm in Midtown. It wasn’t a forty-minute commute, but I wasn’t taking any chances today, and because of that, I took a cab all the way there. I wasn’t going to arrive late, or arrive smelling of the subway. I just needed to have one perfect day, and that day must be today. The mantra of you only get one chance to make a first impression played around in my head, and was possible the cause for most of my anxiety.

I arrived at the building and paused, almost causing foot traffic from my need to take in the large building. I was meeting someone at the front desk to get a pass inside. They had barriered entry points to the elevators. It was a major step up from what I’d experienced before.

Standing in a sharp purple suit, a young woman with a small stack of manila files in hand. She locked eyes with me and raced over, her heels clacking away. Presenting a big smile to her, I slowly pulled away my scarf.

“Hi,” she said. “I’m Sophia Gershaw, a senior associate at Kline, Dorsey & Moore.”

“Hi, I’m Henry, Henry Beck,” I said. “I hope I’m not late.”

She chuckled. “Oh gosh no, you’re right on time. I’m early, and I guess so are you. I’ve been put in charge of showing you the lay of the land. Since you’re joining the firm as an associate, the partners figured you’d be pretty much acquainted. So, I heard that you don’t have a history with—” she paused and looked down at her files. “Before I forget, your pass. It’s just a visitor pass. I’ll take you up to HR and they’ll have someone take your picture and get you an actual pass sorted. It’s important you always have it on hand, security it really strict around here. We have a lot of high profile clients.”

When I’d came for my interview, I knew they had a very strict protocol when it came to getting people through the security barriers. I just smiled at her. This was my dream job, not only because of the money in the sector, but because of the clients, and the perks.

“Yeah, I come from family law mostly,” I told her. “And a family firm. But I graduated top of my class and I have some experience clerking cases. I’m just excited to start.”

“Great,” she said, her eyes lighting up. “Because we’ve got a bit of a crunch right now. Let’s talk on our way up.”

Once we were through tapped through the barrier, we headed into an elevator, alone together. Sophia mentioned the client files she had in her arms, and my first case. It was pop star, Lila Vance, and a contract dispute between a streaming platform and a long-term exclusivity deal. I tried not to get too giddy, but it was impossible, I was like a kid on Christmas morning, I could’ve screamed waiting to unwrap those files and see all the juicy details, motions, and filings.

“We’re a big family here,” Sophia said as we reached the thirty-eighth floor. The first floor of the law offices. “Our unofficial motto is work hard, play hard. And you’ve joined at the perfect time because the holiday season is full of playing hard.” She chuckled. “Ok. Let me show you to where you’ll be working. They’ve got you stationed inside one of the interior offices. People on the outside, the junior associates will probably be a little sour, but do not worry. It will pass.”

As we passed through the large reception area with the bold firm name behind the woman at the desk. There were bold purples on all the furniture. It looked both cool and rich. A definite new money vibe to it, which had a specific taste in this world I enjoyed.

“Ok. I don’t want to make waves,” I grumbled “I didn’t think I’d get an office until I’d been here—”

“You’ve got experience,” she said, walking me through a hallway of frosted glass meeting rooms. “You impressed one the partners. They didn’t say with what, but trust me, you must’ve done or said something.”

I couldn’t help think my family had swayed that decision. Most people knew I came from a family law firm, but a lot of people didn’t know the ties my family had to old money, the type of money people put in family trusts and some people don’t even work because of it. I pushed the thought away, reminding myself I’d worked really hard to get to where I was in this life.

“I will introduce you later to them,” she said as we walked through the cubical offices with first-year associates. “There are a couple of people you absolutely must meet before I take you on up to HR.”

I did a once around lap of two other lawyers there, their offices beside each other. Elliot Rivera and Derek Fulton, they were like ying and yang, Elliot with a scowl and seriousness while Derek’s first comment was a joke about how many lawyers you needed to change a lightbulb. The answer was three. One to go up the ladder, one to shake the ladder, and a third to sue the ladder company. It got a chuckle out of me, if from nothing more than my nervousness.

My office was small. I thought they’d have me in the pit, but again, not questioning it. There was a window and pine slat blinds that were a little dusty. A nice desk, chair, shelving unit, and filing cabinet, pretty standard. And on the desk, an employee handbook.

“This is where you’ll be able to decorate and make it yours, but the handbook will tell you what you can and can’t have out,” she said, grabbing the handbook. “HR will go over it all with you. I know this might all seem a little too much, but you are joining us during a very busy period, and I’m on track to make partner, so if anyone asks, let them know I went above and beyond, thank you.”

It wasn’t the other shoe dropping, but more of an expected response to how nice she’d been. I wondered if she was also cutthroat as well. I wasn’t at all, which is why I liked looking through contracts, staying quiet, and giving my suggestions where possible. I had an impeccable eye for detail.

After taking my coat off and settling it in my new office, Sophia went on to show me where the rest rooms were, include showers, and the company break room, which had a stocked selection of baked good and fruit, as well as a fancy coffee machine.

At that machine, three men in the sharpest of suits were together. They looked right at me.

“Looks like you’re gonna meet one of the partners,” she said.

I didn’t like groups of men all together, it got my neck all sweaty thinking they could smell the submissive homosexuality on me. It wasn’t like I was wearing a pride pin, although I wished I were. Following her with a forced smile and making sure I properly lifted my feet to walk, we met the group.

“I want to introduce the newest associate attorney, starting today,” she said and then gestured at me to take over.

Gulping hard, my words were not coming out. I stared at the three men.

The man in the middle was tall and stocky, a big smile on his lips and deep green eyes.”Hey there,” he said, a slight southern drawl coming out. He reached out to shake my hand. “I’m Grant Bastian, partner here. I heard of a smart new attorney journey today.”

“Henry,” I said, shaking his hand. There was a firmness to it that I knew he was feeling my sweaty palms. “Henry Beck.”

“Well, I’m be damned,” he said. “You’re father is the federal judge.”

“Grandfather,” I said. “And he retired.”

Suddenly, the other two introduced themselves. Maxwell Holmes and Frank Roman. Nobodies names were going in. They could’ve all been gibberish and I’d have still smiled and nodded.

“Decided not to follow him his footsteps then?” Grant asked. “I guess there’s no money to make when you’re working for the government.” He chuckled. “Stick to this side of things. It’s where all the money is.” He winked at me.

“I best show him to HR and then I have to get back to drafting the contract for the SBE Network’s new reality TV show,” she said. “A huge honor to be asked, again. Thank you.”

It was only a matter of hours until everyone knew about who I was and the family I came from. I tried to keep a low profile, but that was the very opposite of the people this firm dealt with. I guess I would fit right in then.