8. Larkin

As I sippedmy coffee on the drive to work, I was still thinking about all Knox had done, first thing in the morning, to make my kids smile. The kids were already at their grandparents, and Emily had told Nancy all about the prank as soon as we arrived.

Nancy gave me a judgey look that I tried not to think about. It said shame on you for having a moment with a man so soon after the divorce.

And to be fair, she wasn’t wrong about us having a moment. There was so much to like about Knox, I knew I’d get burned if I let myself get too close.

For one, the way he looked bent over his coffee maker, giving me this gourmet drink, muscles visible through his shirt and gray sweatpants. The outline of his package, showing me he had more than enough to work with. His slightly messy hair. The way he played up the prank to make Emily happy. I sipped my drink slowly, not wanting it all to be gone. But once I hit the last sip, I promised myself that I would be practical when it came to Knox Madigan, both in my thoughts and in my actions.

I could just hear my sister chastising me for thinking of any man as more than a potential rebound. And I knew Knox was more than that. He was the first man to make my children smile that way since their father left, and I could never risk that for them by involving my heart.

The retirement community came into view through my windshield, and I slowed, easily finding a parking spot up front. This was definitely an upside from living in the big city—parking everywhere! And completely free, no meters or anything.

I took it as a good sign as I got out of my car and walked up to the front door. I had to ring the bell, but soon the community director, Bernice Williams, came up to the front, smiling at me through the windows. I recognized her from our video interviews.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” she said as she swung the door open to let me in. “Our last nurse was amazing, but she’s staying home with her children, and we’ve really needed an extra hand. It’s not so easy to convince talented nurses to move to a small town.”

“I’m glad to be here,” I said honestly. I missed having a job outside the house when Seth and I decided I should stay home to raise our children. Work was the one place I had to myself, where I really felt like I knew what I was doing. Often, it felt like more of a vacation than real trips did because I didn’t have to worry about taking care of my kids or my spouse. I could just be me.

“Let me give you the grand tour,” Bernice replied, linking her arm through mine.

We walked the halls of the building, meeting residents along the way, and she showed me the bedrooms, community center, and then brought me to meet the CNAs who were busy with their shifts and some of the residents in various stages of their day.

It made me miss all the residents from my last job, before I had Emily. I’d loved being a nurse in a retirement home, hearing so many life stories and becoming family with all the people there. It felt like a part of me was coming back to life, just walking down these halls.

Bernice lowered her voice as we approached an older man wheeling himself down the hall. “I know we’re not supposed to have favorites, but this is mine.” Then, louder, she said, “Grandpa Griffen, this is our new nurse, Larkin Cappes.”

“Cappes,” he said. “Like Nancy and Jerald.”

“I used to be married to their son,” I confirmed.

With a twinkle in his eye, he said, “He let a beaut like you walk away? What a dumbass. I have to say, youth is wasted on the young.”

I grinned, extending my hand to shake his. “Nice to meet you.”

He nodded. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to beat the shit out of Clifford in a game of Sequence.”

“I’m pulling for you,” Bernice replied, giving him a wink.

As he continued on his way, I leaned closer to Bernice and said, “Now I know why he’s your favorite.”

Just a couple hours into my job, I already knew I was going to like it. Bernice seemed really friendly and the residents were welcoming to me, although I knew they missed the last nurse.

I spent the rest of the day getting familiar with the computer system used to track medications and other medical information. Then I made a point to meet with everyone I could and get a feel for the culture here. Still, the highlight of my day was meeting Grandpa Griffen. Between the tobacco tucked into his lower lip and the sparkle in his misty eyes, I knew he’d keep me on my toes.

When it was time for me to go home, I said goodbye to Bernice and went to pick up the kids. As I walked up to Nancy and Jerald’s sage-green farmhouse in the Texas countryside, I couldn’t help remembering the first time I came here to visit.

I’d been in my early twenties and completely enamored with their son. Seth was in sales and liked to show me how special I was with each of his commissions. Some online therapy I’d done since discovering the cheating told me what he’d been doing was love-bombing. But back then, I didn’t know it. I just thought I was in heaven.

Nancy and Jerald were so warm and welcoming to me. Treating me to a home-cooked meal like I hadn’t had since my mom passed away when I was still in college. They insisted Seth and I sleep in separate bedrooms even though we were basically living together in Dallas. He snuck into my room at night and cuddled with me until the early hours of the morning when he snuck back to his room like we were both teenagers in high school.

Things were so different now as I walked up the steps, past the potted flowers, and knocked on the front door. It swung open, and Emily said a quick, “Hi, Mom,” before walking back to the living room.

“Gee thanks, missed you too,” I muttered, stepping inside and looking around.

The house was dated, with wood-paneled walls like in my rental and thick brown carpet, but there were sweet touches, like a wall covered with framed pictures of the kids, another with all sorts of crosses.

Passing by the living room where Emily was watching her favorite show, I found Nancy in the kitchen, cooking while Jackson toddled in his little walker with sensory toys sticking up on the front. When he saw me, his feet danced over the floor, and he screeched.

Nancy jumped, fumbling the spatula, while I laughed at my son’s excitement. I hoped he wouldn’t grow out of this. “Hello to you too, baby.”

Nancy gave me an exasperated look and blew her bangs out of her face. “When is that kid going to start talking?”

“Soon.” I hoped. I bent over, picking up the squealing Jackson and holding him close. “I’m so happy to see you, sweet boy!”

He gave me a slobbery open-mouth kiss, and I chuckled, happiness tugging against all the achy parts of my heart. It was amazing how being a single mom starting over again could be both the biggest pain in my life but also bring me more fulfillment than I ever knew I could have.

But that ache was hard to ignore as I stood in the kitchen with my ex’s mom. “Have you heard from Seth recently? Emily’s been wanting to talk to him, and I haven’t been able to get in touch with him since the move.”

Nancy didn’t look up at me from the beef she was browning on the stovetop, but I noticed the lines deepen at the corners of her mouth and eyes. “I haven’t. I’m sure he’s just worried what will be said if he calls. I know tensions were high between you two that last month you lived together.”

My eyebrows rose. “What do you mean?” We hadn’t been in Cottonwood Falls long, but I was already really bothered by the comments Nancy made about the split. I knew I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, considering she was babysitting for free, but Seth made his choices.

Nancy looked up at me. “He feels guilty enough without anyone adding on to it.”

I opened my mouth to say he should feel guilty. He cheated on his wife and broke up a family. But I clamped my jaw back together. This was his mom, not mine. She would always want to see the best in her own child. It made me miss my own mother that much more. And reminded me that the only person I had truly in my corner lived in Paris. And not the one in Texas.

“Will you be staying for supper?” Nancy asked, sounding like she was trying to put a pleasant tone back in her voice.

I shook my head. “I picked something up after work. Thank you for the offer though. I really appreciate you and Jerald watching the kids.”

“Of course,” she said. “At least part of our family is living closer now. Too bad it couldn’t happen sooner, but you know Seth’s job.”

“I get it,” I said. “But I’m really tired from my first day. I’d like to head home and get ready for bed.” I went to the living room, calling for Emily. “Give your grandma a hug goodbye and then let’s get going.”

“But I want to watch this.”

My nerves were beyond frayed, but I kept a patient tone. “Honey, we need to get going.”

“I WANT TO WATCH PAW PATROL!” she wailed. “I WANT TO WATCH PAW PATROL.”

Nancy said, “You can stay.”

My eyes were already stinging, more from frustration than anything. I just wanted to get out of here. And now Jackson was fussing, squirming in my arms. I tightened my grip on him, then went to take Emily’s hand. “We’re leaving,” I said, and we walked to the door. “Bye, Grandma, see you in the morning!”

No matter how many suggestions I offered on the way home, from letting her pick the radio station to watching an episode of a show at home, Emily did not calm down until I said, “I wonder how we can prank Knox next time?”