50. Larkin

I knewI shouldn’t be nervous, but as I pulled the lasagna out of the oven, I could feel my heart bouncing around my chest with adrenaline. My in-laws and my ex were coming over to dinner tonight. At my place. With my boyfriend.

I’d spent all day cleaning and finishing up last-minute decorations, but the house was still small, still dated, still sparse. Nancy and Jerald hadn’t been over here before, and Seth had only been the one time for a brief moment before storming away. I hoped today could be more peaceful for all of us.

PAW Patrolplayed on the TV, and it was just the kids and me at home while I waited for Knox to get back from a Dallas Diamonds watch party with his family. It was looking like Ford’s team was going to be playing in the championship game this year. Gray had invited me and the kids over to watch, but I wanted to get ready for today instead.

Then the thought occurred to me. What if Seth and his parents didn’t show up? It wouldn’t be the first time they’d flaked on me, but I’d been so stressed about dinner I hadn’t even considered the possibility.

I picked up my phone, dialing Nancy’s cell number, and held it to my ear.

After a few rings, she answered. “Hi, Larkin, we’re on our way out the door now.”

“We’re?” I asked, just to make sure.

“All three of us are coming,” she confirmed.

I put on a falsely cheery voice. “Great! Dinner will be ready when you get here.”

We hung up, and then I took a deep breath because I had to tell the kids their dad and grandparents were visiting. Even though I’d been worked up, I’d learned a long time ago not to get the kids excited for something I couldn’t control.

“Emily, I need to pause the TV,” I warned, stepping into the living room and using the remote to still the screen. Chase’s puppy dog face froze in place, the picture of authority and confidence. Sometimes I wished I had some of his chutzpah.

“Mom,” Emily whined, and Jackson copied her, saying, “Mama. Mama!”

I smiled at him, picking him up and squeezing him. Something about baby cuddles made everything better. Even if he was over a year and a half old, he would always be my baby.

“So I have a surprise for you.”

Emily perked up. “Presents?”

“Your dad and grandma and grandpa are visiting!”

Emily screamed, jumping up and down while Jackson said, “Da da da da.”

I nodded. “Knox will be here too. Are you excited?”

Emily did half a handstand on the couch, kicking her feet into the air. She was getting dysregulated, and I couldn’t say I blamed her one bit. I sat on the couch, letting Jackson back on the ground. He crawled over to his toys, and I asked, “Emily, are you nervous?”

Her eyes darted all over the place as she danced next to me.

“Baby, get in my house,” I said. I made my hands like a roof over my eyes, and she did the same, coming closer until all she could see was me. “I know it’s been a long time since we’ve seen them, but they love you,” I said.

“Okay,” she whispered.

“If you need any space at all, you can go to your room to read. Want to come up with a code word?”

“Yes,” she said softly.

“What should it be?”

She looked thoughtful, her eyes turning toward our hands. “What about Marshall?”

I smiled. “That’s a great code word. So, when you say Marshall, I’ll know you’re going to your room to read, and you can come back out when you’re ready. Okay?”

“Okay.”

I pulled my hand down and gave her a squeeze. “You can watch until they get here.”

“Okay.”

She bundled up on the couch, and I watched her for a second before picking up Jackson to put him in his play pen. He yelled at me every time I tried to set him down, so I brought him to the kitchen with me. I set him on the floor with a plastic bowl and a couple spoons to play with. Of course, he immediately started banging the “instrument.” He was a natural at making noise.

Then I picked up my phone and called Knox while getting the plates out. They were plastic—the cheapest I could get at the store, but as I looked at them, I realized I was proud of my discount dishware.

I’d gone from being a stay-at-home mom for years to making a whole life for myself here. Who cared if I had to start out with plastic dishes? No one who mattered.

Knox’s voice came over the phone as I set the plates on the table. “Hey, babe.”

My heart fluttered. Would I ever get over him calling me that? “Hey. Do you know when you’ll get here?”

“Funny you should mention that.” The door opened then, and I grinned at him, still holding his phone. “Hey,” he said warmly.

“Hey,” I replied, slowly lowering my phone. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Jackson yelled, “Dada!” He pushed himself up on the bowl, bottom going up first and then tottered to Knox. “Dada!”

“Say Knox,” Knox prompted. “Na na.”

“Dada!” Jackson insisted, arms outstretched for Knox.

Knox picked him up, and I worried my hands. If Seth heard Jackson calling Knox “dada,” I wasn’t sure how he’d react. But Knox came over to me, kissing the top of my head.

As if reading my thoughts, he said, “It’s on Seth to control his reaction, not you.”

My heart slowed, instantly comforted by his words. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He went to the living room to play with Emily while I finished up, and soon, Emily shouted, “THAT’S THEM!”

I braced myself for the first dinner as one big... happy-ish family.