4. Larkin

I setmy curling iron down and checked my phone again, hoping for a response from Seth.

Larkin: Emily misses you. Can you please make time to video call her today?

Three hours had passed since I sent the message and still nothing, and it was getting to be time to go to our neighbor’s house. I knew it would be harder for him to stay connected to the kids when I moved two hours away, but I didn’t know he would act like the kids were his last priority.

We’d been in this house for three days now, and nothing. No phone call, no texts. Emily cried for him every night before bed, and I had to make up excuses for him, saying he was busy working, that they would talk soon. It broke my heart for her every time and made me feel guilty that I chose him to be her father. I thought he was better than that.

Taking a breath to calm myself down, I left the bathroom to check on the kids. Jackson was hopping in his bouncer while Emily watched an episode of PAW Patrol. They both seemed content, so I went back to the bathroom to put the finishing touches on my look, my hands shaking with nerves.

I normally kept my makeup simple and opted for a ponytail, but I wanted to make a good impression in this town. It may have been too late for Knox, but it wasn’t for his family. I was alone here, unless you counted Seth’s parents. But I always got the feeling from them that I was just the wife, the parent of their grandchildren, not a true part of their family. I wanted to have a real community for my children and me. Especially if Seth wasn’t going to be a constant for them.

I texted him again.

Larkin: We’re going to be busy for the next couple hours. Any chance you could talk with her now?

I looked at the screen, a read receipt coming up.

Hope fluttered in my chest. Not for me, but for Emily. She loved her daddy. But as the minutes passed, that hope fell away.

I might not be willing to talk shit about Seth out loud, but a million and one insults went through my mind. I didn’t understand how he could act like we were just out of sight, out of mind.

With a sigh, I set my phone down and looked at myself in the mirror, checking my appearance one last time. I’d gained so much weight during my pregnancy with Jackson. Hardly any of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit me, and I hadn’t bought a ton of nicer, newer clothes in the last year, hoping I could lose the weight. But it had been a year, and it didn’t look like the weight was going anywhere. And with my new job as a nurse, I’d spent most of my clothing budget on scrubs.

Today, I wore one of my nicer tops, olive green with short sleeves and buttons up the front to show a slight amount of cleavage. I stepped back to see my full outfit in the mirror. The shirt went well with some distressed jeans and leather sandals.

I was determined to be confident in myself for my daughter’s sake. I didn’t want her to grow up stressing about the insane physical judgment I had felt from my ex and from society.

I grabbed my phone from the vanity, tucked it in my back pocket, and went out to the living room to get the kids.

“Ready?” I asked Emily as I went to pick up Jackson. He fussed a bit as I pulled him out of his bouncer.

“I know, you could do that forever,” I said to him. Then I looked to Emily, who was still glued to the TV. I went and used the remote to turn it off, and she groaned at me.

“I asked if you were ready,” I said. “You didn’t say anything.”

“Can I talk to Daddy?” she asked, her eyes lighting up.

I hid my own disappointment and said, “No, we’re going to Knox’s house.”

She whined, “But I wanted to talk to Daddy.”

“I know you did, but he can’t right now,” I said. “Let’s focus on meeting our neighbors. Maybe you’ll make a new friend tonight.”

She nodded, pushing herself up from the chair. “Can I bring a toy?”

“Of course you can,” I replied.

She ran off to her room and came back carrying her Dallas Diamonds football.

“Are you sure you want to bring that ball?” I asked. “What if they’re not Diamonds fans?”

She held it tightly to her chest. “Who doesn’t like the Diamonds? Ford is the best quarterback in the league.” For being a little girl, she knew more about football than me. She and Seth watched the games every Sunday before the divorce, and he explained the ins and outs to her in a fun way that kept her invested.

This was one battle I did not think was worth the fight.

So I grabbed the diaper bag, and the three of us trekked around the sidewalk to the house next door. Unlike mine, this home had fresh paint, a lawn full of actual grass, and even a small bed of petunias up front. This man had to be some kind of special specimen to be a bachelor with such a nice-looking house.

I reached for the doorbell, but Emily screeched, “I want to ring it!”

“Try again,” I told her, glancing around to see if anyone else’s ears were ringing. There were already several cars parked along the street and in the driveway, and I had to wonder: How big was his family?

Emily looked up at me. “Can I please ring the doorbell?”

“Sure,” I said, taking a deep breath to ease my nerves.

She reached out, pressing the button, and we heard the bell muffled from inside the house. She jumped up and down as if she could possibly reach the decorative window at the top of the door. I smiled at her excitement.

The front door opened, and Knox stood there, grinning at us. Instead of his police uniform, he had on a heather-blue T-shirt that hugged his muscular arms and drew out the blue in his eyes. I almost didn’t notice the jeans he wore, which fit him just right—not too tight or loose.

“It’s great to see y’all,” he said with a smile. “Come on in.”

We followed him into the house, all of us looking around curiously. And again, I was pleasantly surprised. The home opened up to a dining room and kitchen. The counters and table were loaded with pans of food. Then we walked through the house, seeing nice leather couches in the living room, a basket full of throw blankets, and a TV mounted above a gas fireplace.

“Everyone’s out back,” Knox explained. “You can follow me.”

We did, my eyes inadvertently glancing to his backside. Damn. I needed to stop checking out my neighbor. That could get messy real fast.

But then again, my mom always used to say the phrase “look don’t touch” applied to more than store items.

There was a hallway to what I assumed were bedrooms and then a utility room with a washer and dryer, a rack of coats, sporting equipment of all kinds, and a table.

Knox tapped on a door in the corner of the utility room. “This is a bathroom you can use.” Then we followed him through the screened back door. The smell of the grill filled my nostrils as we stepped onto the shaded cement patio.

I could see all the people in his backyard that came with the vehicles parked out front. All fifteen or so of them looked at us as we stepped outside. I wondered what Knox had told them about us—if he’d said much of anything at all.

Knox put his hand on Emily’s shoulder, saying, “I want you to meet my nieces.” He led her to a small sandbox shaped like a turtle off to the side, and I followed along, feeling eyes on me as I went.

A girl who seemed around ten with long, caramel-colored hair played with a younger girl around two. Next to them, a fluffy dog that looked to be part Australian Shepherd watched dutifully.

“This is my niece, Maya.” Knox gestured to the older girl. “And this is Leah.” He tickled the stomach of the little girl with dark brown pigtails. “And this is their dog, Graham. Girls, this is Emily. I’m sure you’ll be great friends.”

Maya smiled and said, “Wanna play with us? We’re building sandcastles.”

Emily gave me a questioning look, and when I nodded, she set the football down and got into the sandbox with the other two.

“Do you like the Diamonds?” Emily asked Maya.

“Yeah. My uncle’s the quarterback.” She said it so matter of factly, I almost believed her.

“No way,” Emily said.

“Yeah,” Maya replied. “He’s right over there.”

All of us spun our heads in absolute shock where Ford Madigan was standing, drinking beer with a couple people I didn’t recognize. Emily jumped out of the sandbox, sprinting over to him and yelling, “HI, FORD!”

“Oh my gosh,” I muttered, following her, Jackson fussing in my arms at the change in pace. “Sorry,” I said over my shoulder to Knox.

If he replied, I didn’t hear him. No, I heard the star quarterback for Texas’s pro football team, saying, “Nice to meet you, Emily.”