37. Larkin

“I haven’t laughedthat hard in months,” I said to Knox on the ride back to town. The headlights illuminated gravel roads and dark ditches as he drove us in my minivan. And while I liked him driving his truck, there was something just as sexy about him feeling so at home in my car too, especially with his hand resting on my thigh.

He rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his lips.

Emily asked, “What was so funny, Mama?”

Remembering the sight of him dancing in his pink boxers, I said, “Knox was being silly earlier while you kids were playing in the sandbox.”

“Knox is always silly,” she replied, like I was just stating the obvious.

Knox glanced over his shoulder at her, sitting in her car seat. “Always?” he said.

I looked over my shoulder to see her face scrunching up thoughtfully. “Sometimes you’re really nice too. Like when I’m sad, you always make me feel better.”

My heart completely melted as Knox smiled back at her in the mirror. “I’m here for you, Em.”

She nodded and then changed the subject. “Can I have a popsicle at home?”

“No,” I said. “It’s already getting late, and we need to get you to bed.” Not just because I was excited for what would happen once the kids were asleep. I had another full day of work tomorrow, and I wanted to get the kids to Liv’s house early so I could help them settle in, even though they seemed plenty at home this evening.

Once we got back to my place, Knox said he was going back home to get ready for bed and that I could text him once the kids were down. My thighs clenched just thinking about it.

After he left, the kids and I went through our usual bedtime routine. I gave them a bath together, then brushed their teeth and set out their pajamas for after I applied their lotion. Jackson was getting so big he was almost ready for 2T clothing, even though he was just fourteen months now.

That familiar tinge of worry hit my gut, wondering when he would finally take his first steps independently instead of crawling and pulling himself up on couches and the like. His pediatrician said if he was pulling himself up on things, we really didn’t need to worry for another couple of months. That still didn’t stop my mama’s heart from worrying.

But I reminded myself he’d already said “dada,” even though I’d been concerned about his speech too.

As I slid lotion over his skin, I asked, “Can you say Em?”

His lips moved as he went, “Emmmm, Emmmm.”

Emily jumped up and down. “HE SAID MY NAME!”

I grinned over at her, loving how excited she was for her brother’s progress.

“That was great, Jacks,” I said to him, then squeezed him to my chest. “You are getting so good with your words!”

“Emm, Emmm,” he hummed.

Emily came beside us, putting her hand over her chest. “That’s me. I’m Em!”

“Emm. Emm.”

I smiled at them both and continued putting on lotion then their PJs. “We’re all ready for bed, time for a bedtime story! Do you want to pick one?” I asked Emily.

She nodded, walking dutifully to the stack of books on a closet shelf and picked her favorite as Jackson babbled to himself. Tomorrow I would ask Liv to practice his words with him. Maybe he was just slow to talking and had plenty to say now that he’d found his voice. I guessed in some ways, Jackson and I were both finding our voices, learning to stand on our own two feet.

I climbed into Emily’s twin-sized bed, gathering both children in my arms, and read them the story, making all the voices, pouring all the love I could into every word. And when their eyes slowly drifted closed, I tucked them in under the covers.

My heart raced as I gently shut the door behind me and went to my room. I didn’t have much in the way of sexy lingerie, but I found my one set, a red lacy bra and a matching thong with a bow tie in the back.

Once it was on, I got my phone off my dresser. I unlocked the screen and sent a text I never would have before I met Knox.

Larkin: I’m naked in my bed.