15. Knox

Those brownies werethe best I’d ever had. But the company was even better. I lay in bed that night thinking about Larkin and how different she was from anyone I’d met.

Women had commented on my tattoos before.

Told me they were hot.

But never had someone taken the time to ask me questions like that and then truly listened for my answer when I spoke, not asking for anything in return, not expecting anything of me, just... sitting with me and understanding me.

As a kid who grew up feeling misunderstood most of the time, I appreciated that more than Larkin would even know. Unfortunately, she was going out with Bennett on Friday, and I needed to respect that. But how could I when I liked her so much?

Just a few days after eating brownies with her, my evenings were feeling emptier than they had before. I missed eating brownies with her before bed, and we weren’t even together. I kept glancing over to her house, wondering what she and her kids were up to. Seeing them play in the backyard or haul a wagon across the street to the closest park.

So I was glad when my dad called me on Thursday and asked if I would go and check cattle with him. It had been a little while since we hung out, so it would be nice to catch up with him and see how he was doing. When you lose a parent, you never forget how important the remaining one is to you.

I drove my truck out to the country, going past the Griffen Farms sign until I saw the sign for Madigan Ranch. There were so many memories attached to this place, good and hard. For a long time, it was difficult to see my childhood home and not think of how my mom passed away in her bedroom when I was still a boy.

But time had given me the gift of perspective. Of new memories and the ability to remember the good times with Mom like I wasn’t able to do when the pain was still so fresh. I didn’t see Dad’s pickup by the house, so I drove on past to the dark red barn farther down the trail. As the corral came into view, I could see him adjusting the saddles on two horses.

My eyebrows rose as I pulled up. I got out of the truck and called over to him, “I thought we were driving to check cattle!”

Dad gave a wry smile that deepened the wrinkles on his face. “The horses needed some attention. Figured a young guy like you wouldn’t mind.”

“Which is why you included that tidbit of information when you called?” I quipped. I reached the metal fence panels and climbed over. “At least it’s nice out.” This time of year in Texas, it could easily hit the hundreds, but it was supposed to rain overnight, so the temp was in the eighties with a cool breeze.

Dad nodded, handing me the reins to his younger horse, Acres. I walked the four-year-old out of the corral, holding the gate open for Dad, who rode by on his roan quarter horse, Blister. Gross name, I know. He’d gotten the thing as a colt ten years prior and said he got the worst blister riding in a new saddle to train him, so that was the name he settled on.

Once he was out of the corral, I latched the gate shut, gripped the saddle horn, put my foot in the stirrup, and hauled myself on to Acres’s back. He stood still, waiting patiently for me to nudge his side, and once I did, he started walking after Dad and Blister.

I rubbed his neck, ran my fingers through his rough chestnut mane. “Good boy,” I hummed. Then I sat back in the saddle and took in my surroundings.

Even though I lived in town now, I loved being back on the ranch. There was so much space, it just felt easier to breathe. And I felt closer to Mom here too. She and Dad had made a true home here, a family, a life.

Maybe someday, when I had a family of my own, we’d settle down in our own little country home.

Dad and I rode in silence, side by side on the ruts of a trail cutting through the pasture, until Dad said, “How’re things with the neighbor girl?”

When he phrased it like that, I felt like I was fifteen years old again, crushing on Liv Griffen even though I could tell my brother had the hots for her and just wouldn’t make a move. “What things?” I finally asked.

Dad snorted. “Still a terrible liar.”

I grimaced. “I wasn’t lying.”

“Just evading,” he teased.

I shook my head at him and scanned the grassy hillside dotted with black Angus cattle and Yucca plants. The herd seemed healthy so far. “What about you and Miss Agatha? Huh?”

Dad’s cheeks instantly went red. “Not going there.”

I had to laugh. “You know, we’re okay with you dating again, Dad.”

His hands rested on his denim-clad thighs, leather reins gripped loosely in his fingers. “I know that. I’m just not sure I’m okay with it.”

My lips pressed together. “You know Mom wouldn’t hold it against you.”

“I know.”

“Then why hold back?” I asked.

He huffed out a laugh. “If I told you, it’d sound stupid.”

“Stupider than me calling everyone in my family for a last-minute supper so I could hang out with my hot new neighbor, who just so happens to be going on a date with Bennett Gardner tomorrow night?”

Dad winced.

“Uh huh.”

After a beat or two, Dad said, “You know, one of the things that got me through losing your mom was knowing I’d see her again in heaven. But how does that work when you fall in love with another woman? The three of us gonna be standing around awkwardly in heaven with Jesus mediating the whole thing? Your mother would have my head before she shared custody of me.”

I let out a laugh, more out of surprise than anything. “Maybe Mom’s a freak now. Could have some fun.”

Dad’s face went redder than I’ve ever seen it. He nudged his horse into a trot.

“What are you doing?” I called after him, getting my horse to speed up.

“Getting away from you before your mom gets God to strike you with lightning.”

Now I was really laughing. Coming out to the ranch had been a great idea.

* * *

When I got home,well past ten since Dad and I had decided to have dinner and drink a couple beers, I glanced out the window at the house across the way. I couldn’t see inside, but I noticed the bedroom window light was on. I wondered what Larkin was doing up so late. Had Jackson woken and needed care? Was she up talking on the phone to her sister in Paris? Texting someone?

The thought of her texting with Bennett nearly made my blood boil.

I went to the bathroom and took a shower, trying to clear my head, trying to see sense and reason. But there was another visceral part of me that hated how I’d missed my chance this early on.

What if this date with Bennett went so well that I never got another opportunity?

What if he moved in with her? Had to see his truck parked out front throughout the night?

Had to see him playing with her children. Making her smile. Putting his hand on her waist.

The thoughts kept spiraling, making me so angry and jealous that I was just as worked up when I got out of the shower as I was when I got in it.

I threw on a pair of boxers and paced my bedroom. I had to do something... but what?

I couldn’t storm over there and knock on her door. I’d wake up the kids if they weren’t already. Not to mention I’d look like a complete fool.

But then I got an idea. I pulled my phone from the top of my dresser. I could send her a text message. Make sure I was the one on her mind tonight. But I stood in my bedroom, thumbs poised over the digital keyboard, completely lost at what to say.

Hi, don’t date Bennett? Date me instead?

I was just thinking about you in the shower?

I rolled my eyes at myself. I was a grown man, but I felt all the jitters of being young and dumb and in love for the first time all over again. I needed to remind myself who I was. I’d faced down criminals knowing men just like me didn’t always finish their shift alive. I could send a text message to a woman. Especially one as kindhearted as Larkin.

Knox: Couldn’t sleep and noticed your light was on. What are you doing up so late?

I stared at my phone as I went to my bed, pulled back the covers, and climbed in. The cream linen sheets were cool against my heated skin.

A bubble with three dots appeared on the screen, and I held my breath, waiting for her reply.

A photo of her with Jackson in her arms, his eyes half closed, came through the phone, and I smiled at the image. Then another text.

Larkin: Little boy doesn’t know you’re supposed to sleep when it’s dark outside.

Larkin: What’s keeping you up?

I can’t stop thinking about you.

I ran my thumb over my bottom lip, knowing I couldn’t tell her that without coming on too strong.

Knox: Was over at my dad’s, guess I’m having a hard time winding down.

I sent the text and waited for her reply. Wondered if she would.

I hadn’t asked her a question, and my fingers itched to fire off another message with one just to feel like I had some connection to her. But then a new message came through.

Larkin: What did you and your dad do together?

Knox: We rode horses to check cattle and then went back to the house. He made me dinner and we had some beers. Just hung out. It was nice.

Larkin: Wait. Did you say horses?

Knox: I mean, technically I typed it.

Larkin: *Eyeroll emoji* Do you think there’s any chance Emily could ride a horse one day? She’s OBSESSED.

Knox: I think I can pull a few strings. ;) So she likes horses and the Dallas Diamonds. What do you like?

The text bubble appeared for a long moment then disappeared and came back again.

Larkin: It’s been a long time since someone asked me that.

My heart clenched in a way I wasn’t used to feeling.

Knox: I’m here when you have an answer.

I hoped maybe I could be a part of it.