62. Birdie

Confession: I want to make my grandparents proud.

Suddenly, I felt like I was five years old again, trying to let their pet finches out of the cage. "I-I-" I began, not sure how to finish.

"Let's sit down," Grandma said, settling into the booth where Walter and I had been. She carefully took the plates and stacked them near the edge of the table so Betsy could grab them on her way by.

Grandpa was still watching me, though, waiting for my answer.

"It's a long story," I said.

"We have time," he deadpanned.

I shook my head, not wanting to explain to my grandpa, one of my all-time heroes, how acquainted I'd become with rock bottom.

Grandma reached across the table, covering my hand with her own. "We're here for you, sweetie."

My eyes stung at her kindness. I knew I'd gone far too long without telling them about my job and my failures with Cohen, so I opened up. "I was on a date with him."

"That suit?" Grandpa said, confused. "What did he say about you working at your father's office? What happened with Cohen? Why would you ever leave that school when we both know you're doing what you love?"

I shook my head, wiping at my eyes. "I got fired, Grandpa."

He and my grandma looked astonished.

"What?" Grandma said. "What happened? Was it that woman? I'll give her a piece of my mind, and she won't even know what hit her."

"No, no, no. Cohen was a dad at the school, and dating parents is against the rules. The headmaster found out."

The lines on Grandpa's forehead deepened. "That's a stupid fucking rule."

Grandma gave him a look, then said, "I agree. Without the cursing."

"And they let you go," Grandpa said. "Just like that? No warning or nothing? That's not how you run a business."

"It's how the Academy runs their business," I said with a sigh. "And I-I don't know what to do."

"Of course you do," Grandpa said sternly.

"What?" I leaned forward. "Didn't you hear? I got fired. Lost my job. Lost my boyfriend. Lost the roof I was keeping over Ralphie's head, and I'm living in my friend's spare room." Grandma opened her mouth to speak, but I shook my head. "And no, you can't talk me into living in the senior apartments with you. I'd stand out like a sore thumb, and you'd get in trouble."

"You're down," Grandpa said. "I get that. I've been kicked in the teeth a few times myself. Why do you think I have dentures? But you weren't raised to mope like this, to settle for suits like that jackass." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder toward the exit Walter had gone through. His voice was almost mad as he continued. "You're going to get your ass up, pick up the pieces, apply for jobs at other schools, and show your shit-for-brains boss at that stupid fancy school that they made a mistake in losing you. But under no condition, Birdie Karen Melrose, are you allowed to settle for anything less than you're worth."

I looked toward the table, my vision blurring. "I don't feel like I'm worth much at all."

When I looked back up, Grandpa's lips quirked. "Sugar, you're worth the sun, the moon, and all the stars."

My heart melted at the words and the sincerity behind them. But something held me back from accepting them as truth. "Then why do these things keep happening to me?" I asked. "Why do I keep losing all the things I want?"

Grandma and Grandpa exchanged a glance, then Grandma said, "You made a huge leap in going to college, and I wonder if you thought you were done with hard decisions after that? Life rarely happens to us, unless you let it."

Had I been letting life happen to me? I hadn't chosen for Dax to break up with me. Hadn't chosen for the school to fire me. The only thing I'd chosen lately was to take a risk with Cohen, and even though our relationship had been short, it had been amazing.

"Can I give you some advice?" Grandpa said.

I gave him a sardonic smile. "Now you're asking?"

He chuckled, then reached across the table, taking my hands in his. "One step at a time, Birdie. That's all anyone can do."

Grandpa was right. I couldn't fix all my problems. Couldn't change the fact that Dax had clearly cheated on me throughout our relationship. Couldn't change what I'd said to Cohen or that I'd been fired from my job. But I could direct my next step, and it was going to be one that made my grandparents proud.