54. Birdie

Confession: I'm the ugliest crier.

We rode back to his house in silence, because what was there to say?

His son had seen us making out and been none too pleased about it. Ryde Alexander was there too, and if he had half the distaste for me that his mom did, Pam Alexander would have me and my bird on our asses in two seconds flat. I was so stupid. So stupid to have let my heart get in the way of my head. So stupid to ever have left that apartment with him in the first place. Stupid to think a rebound was what I needed to fix my broken heart.

It felt broken now, and I didn't even know if I'd lost my job or not. Didn't even know if Cohen wanted to deal with all this drama.

I fought tears the last half of our drive, and when Cohen reached over to hold my hand, I let my fingers rest in his. He wanted to fix this—I could tell—but what could possibly be fixed?

He pulled his car into the apartment building's parking garage and turned it off with a sigh. "Let's go upstairs and order some food. Think this through. The next school board meeting isn't for another couple weeks, but maybe Headmaster Bradford will agree to a probation until then. If it's even a big deal. Just because it's a rule doesn't mean they'll enforce it."

I lifted Cohen's hand to my lips and kissed his knuckles to stop the nervous stream of words flowing from his mouth. "You don't need to do a thing."

His expression was guarded. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head, looking out the window at the dim lot and cars parked about. My car was only a few spots away. "I mean I think we've done enough damage for one day."

"Damage? Birdie, we were just kissing on the pier like adults."

"We were breaking the rules. Rules I told you about the second I found out you were Ollie's dad. You should have listened to me." Anger grew in my chest, because it was easier to blame him than it was to admit I wanted this too. More than I ever should have.

"What are you saying? You were the one who wanted to go out today! I was fine ordering in and spending time with you in private until we could change the rules."

My eyes stung with tears, and I blinked quickly. "If it wasn't today, it would have been another day, another place, another person to catch us. It would have only delayed the inevitable."

"And what's that?" His words were a challenge, and I lifted my chin to meet it.

"You told Ollie this wasn't serious. Did you think we were going to last forever?" I pushed open the door and got out of the car.

He didn't answer.

"Goodbye, Cohen." I turned and walked toward my car, toward my escape, toward heartbreak and the last chance I had at saving what was left of my job.

Cohen was still in the parking garage as I drove away. Standing by his car looking furious. Looking hurt.

I thought about driving home, but instead, I went somewhere else. I went to the school to see my best friend.

Tears streamed down my face as I reached my office and jiggled the key in the door. I burst inside as fast as I could, desperate to see the one creature who had always been there for me, who had never disappointed or hurt me.

I took him from his cage, and he curled his feet around my finger, holding on tight as if this was the best way he could hug me. I drew him closer to my chest, sobbing about everything I had hoped for and everything that would never come true.