40. Birdie

Confession: Getting older is weird.

"You dirty little slut!" Mara said, walking alongside me down the empty halls of Emerson Academy. I had to feed and check in on Ralphie, and she wanted more details than I divulged over our morning cups of coffee.

I gave her a look. "I never understood why women call each other that."

"It's taking back the term," she said with a shrug. "If we call each other sluts as a compliment, body-shaming misogynists can't use it to hurt us."

"So it's a compliment?"

"Definitely." She waggled her eyebrows. "And what he did to you? Major compliment. I can't believe you didn't stay the night and see what he had planned for round two."

"I had to get my car," I said.

She raised her eyebrows. "Really? You had to get your car?"

"If I didn't want to explain to my parents how truly terrible Walter was and risk World War III."

"Why do you let them push you around like that?"

We reached my office, and I turned to put the key in the lock. "It's all a chess game with my family. If I let them feel like they have control, they don't work so hard to exert it over me... and maybe I'm still so used to being bossed around I don't know how to say no."

"It's exhausting," she said, following me inside.

Ralphie chirped happily to see Mara and me.

"You know," Mara said, "you could bring Ralphie home if you wanted."

As I began preparing his food, I thought it over. "I don't know if I want to move him until I have his forever home, you know? He'd probably be alone more there than he is here. And the students like him. I think he likes seeing them too."

Mara passed me, going to sit on my desk. "Anyone get pregnant lately?"

I snorted. "Hardly. Although, I am worried about a student..."

"What do you mean?"

If I didn't give her identifying details, I could talk to her about Ollie... and maybe she'd have some advice. "There's this student, and he stopped turning in homework out of nowhere. He's sad, withdrawn. He's gay, but not out to the other students. His parents are divorced, but they have been for almost two years, so it's all out of nowhere."

"Is he being bullied?"

"Not that I can tell."

"Broken heart," she said easily, examining her nails.

I finished pouring water in Ralphie's dish. "You think?"

"Come on, you were in high school once. Everything feels like it's the end of the world, whether it's a bad grade or a fight with a friend or losing a boyfriend."

I thought it over as I put away the food and water containers. Could Ollie just be upset about a relationship ending? I didn't know of any other gay students, but that didn't mean they didn't exist—or that he didn't have a boyfriend outside of school. Maybe I'd ask Cohen about it next time I saw him.

I pulled a chair next to Ralphie's cage and sat. "How soon is too soon to text Cohen?"

"Depends. Which century do you prefer to abide in?"

I snorted. "Preferably the present. I know I'm all about girl power, but clearly I did something wrong with Dax."

Mara gave me a look. "In my opinion, whatever you did, you did it right. You got him out of here so you could get with the hot bartender who goes down on you!"

"But texting?" I said. "I have no idea how to date. It's been so long!"

"My advice? If you want a relationship without games, you have to start it without games."

She had a point. So I got out my phone and sent Cohen a text.

Birdie: Hey.

I let out a groan. "But what do I say?" I made my voice all breathy. "'Last night was amazing. Let's do it again?' It sounds so needy."

"He's the one who ate you out. I say a little clinginess is a natural consequence."

"Stop making me laugh," I said, staring at my phone.

Mara made her voice breathy too. "Dear Cohen, please let me come sit on your face."

I snorted with laughter. Then my phone dinged. Thankfully, Cohen had just messaged back.

Cohen: Hey, I keep thinking about yesterday.

I showed Mara the phone, and she giddily slapped my shoulder.

Birdie: Me too.

Cohen: Can I see you again? Saturday maybe?

"Yes!" Mara cried. "Tell him yes!"

I shook my head. "As if that answer were ever in question."

Birdie: I'll see you then. :)

I put my phone back in my purse and asked Mara, "Want to head to the beach?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

We drove back to her house, grabbed some beach towels, snacks, and our Kindles, and got in the car. The second my feet hit the sand, I felt better. Freer.

"How's your editor liking the book?" I asked Mara. "You haven't said much about it."

"She says she likes it." She fanned out her towel and sat on it, then retrieved her sunblock. "You know how it is. I always worry each book I write will be the last and everyone will figure out I'm a hack who doesn't even have a high school diploma."

I frowned. "But what does a diploma have to do with what you do now? Do all of those reviewers who say they love your books care about that?"

"I know they don't." She paused to lather sunscreen over her face. "But maybe I do."

"Have you ever thought about getting your GED?"

She was quiet for a moment. "I have. But I don't know if I want to. Getting my GED will be like proving all those people right who said I'd never amount to anything without it."

I smiled at my friend. I loved her spunk, right along with her spite. I felt a hundred percent confident that was what helped her get so far in life. "Well, my master's-degree-having ass is thankful for the house you got without graduating."

She gave me a smile. "For that, I'm sending you the book."

My mouth fell open. "Before your editor gets it back to you?" Mara never allowed me to read rough drafts, no matter how much I begged.

"It's about a formerly rich girl who falls in love, so I may need your advice."

"Well then, I'm your girl."

"Now, put on your sunscreen, or you'll be my girl with melanoma."

Laughing, I took the bottle from her. "Getting older is weird."

"Ain't that the truth."

We spent the rest of the afternoon on the beach, reading, relaxing, and enjoying each other. Because these really were the days. Someday, maybe, we'd have partners, children, and we'd long for these days spent just us girls. I was going to savor every moment.