December

DECEMBER

Dear Mia,

It's hard to believe that it's . It feels like yesterday it was summertime, and we were outside at the gala for Ford's Friends. I think the changing of the weather is just another reminder of all that's changed between us.

And a lot that’s changed with me too. Hayes went too far with a joke, but instead of burying it inside or ignoring him to keep the peace, I told him he hurt my feelings. He apologized right away. I know it seems like something little, but I broke a pattern today. I’m proud of myself. I hope you are too.

Love,

Ford

Dear Mia,

What is it about this time of year and charity events? I feel like we've been to half a dozen fundraisers and Christmas parties, but they've been so busy that I've hardly gotten to speak with you alone.

You haven't mentioned the letters I’ve sent you yet, and that's OK. These letters aren't really to spark conversation, just to document all that’s changing in my life.

And a way to stay connected with you. I miss our goodnight texts like you wouldn’t believe. I swear, sometimes when I close my eyes at night, I see you. And when I open my eyes in the morning, I'm disappointed because you're not there.

It's getting really hard to be around you and feel like I'm never going to have another chance. But I promised you I wouldn’t give up, and I meant it. But I’ll stop if you tell me to. Whatever you want, Mia, that’s what I want to give to you.

Love,

Ford

Dear Mia,

Christmas is coming up, and you might not know this about me, but I love shopping for Christmas gifts. I used to hate it because I never had enough money to give when I was younger. Dad could never get us a lot since he had five boys to take care of on his own. The essentials were about all we ever got. Which was fine. But now that I have some extra cash, I love making Christmas as big and ridiculous as possible.

I pay decorators to come to my house and make it a Christmas wonderland. And not just the living room, the bedrooms too. There’s Christmas bedding, Christmas shower curtains, Christmas toilet cozies—you name it, I have it. (Mom would have been so annoyed by the excess—haha—but it’s one of the rare times I let myself splurge.)

We all open gifts on Christmas morning. I always get my dad a brand-new pair of boots because if I didn't, he would wear the same ones until they fell apart. Hayes gets something for whatever restoration project he's working on. This year, it’s a part for a ’55 Camaro. Fletcher is a little bit harder to shop for, but Liv has been helpful to give me some tips each year. Bryce gets some new gadget for his dorm to impress his roommates. And my nieces and nephew get the new and best of whatever they're liking at the moment. It's so much fun to see them open their presents. I think it's one of the highlights of my year.

It also feels like a transition time between the regular season and the playoffs. I can feel the pressure starting to build. The Super Bowl is getting closer, and my team is counting on me to show up. To be there for them. I'm feeling the stress too. Trent hasn't threatened me since we've been going to all these public events, but I still wonder if I'll be up for a trade at the end of this season. I don't know. I just hope it goes well. I can't imagine living anywhere but Dallas. Anywhere but close to you.

Love,

Ford

Dear Mia,

I know it was all for show, and it lasted all of a second, but getting to kiss you on New Year's was already the best part of my year.

I hadn't realized just how much I missed kissing you, holding you, until the moment was over. You looked at me, and I swear there was something in your eyes. Something you weren't saying.

If you have anything to say to me, say it. Don't hold back with me.

Love,

Ford