Chapter twenty-one

Gideon sets me on the couch after carrying me inside when we get back to the house. My body feels weak, my muscles stiff, but I can't let Kaylus go. Why did the bonds not tie? Why couldn't I save him?

Watching Monique burn at the stake until there was nothing left of her—hearing her screams—will never fill the hole that's been torn from inside me with Kaylus's death.

"I'll go make a grave," Gideon says, his shoulders slumped. He walks through the back door, leaving me alone on the couch.

I stare down at my raven laying in my palms. The blood dried a while ago, but his feathers seem different—dull almost. Burying him in the back yard feels so wrong, as if he's no more than a simple pet.

I sigh, torn between missing my wolf and being grateful for the time alone in my own head. She would know what to do. She would tell me the right thing to do. I know I could ask her—now that she's been freed from the cage in my chest that Monique put her in, the magic disappearing as her life withered away. But a part of me doesn't want to. A part of me wants to be alone in my grief.

I trace a few feathers with my finger, wishing I could've given Kaylus this home away from Monique a little bit longer after he had to live in the forest's shadows most of our lives. I scoff, like that did us any good in the end.

I stagger to my feet, using one hand on the wall to keep my balance, and make my way upstairs. Kaylus deserves to be in his nest once more. Maybe buried with it. I swallow hard, trying not to let my grief consume me again.

Reaching the bedroom door, I nudge it open with my foot and let it swing wide, the doorknob banging into the wall. I brace myself, taking a deep breath and moving into the room. It feels so normal, being here. I move for the window, remembering I still hold Kaylus. Remembering he won't be flying through it again.

I slump onto the edge of the bed, letting my tears drip from my nose and onto his feathers. "I'm so sorry," I cry. "I'm so sorry. I should've protected you. I… I should've done something." I kiss his beak, then gently settle him into his nest. "Losing you is losing a part of my very soul."

I can't bring myself to move him, to carry him downstairs and outside to a grave that will make it all seem so final when right now, he merely looks asleep.

"Adara," Gideon says from the doorway behind me.

I bury my face in my hands, my voice thick and cracking. "I don't know how to let him go. I thought his nest… but I still…"

The bed shifts as he sits beside me, and he drapes an arm over my shoulders, pulling me into his side. "I know," he whispers.

"You're talking like I'm still dead."

My hands fall to my lap, and I throw myself onto the floor, kneeling before the nightstand. "K-Kaylus…"

"Adara—"

"No, he talked to me, Gideon!" I plead, desperate for him to believe me when I know I'm the only one who could possibly hear him.

Gideon takes a deep breath, leaning forward so his face is next to mine, both of us staring at the raven. "I know."

I look at him. "You know? But how did you—" I gasp, my hand coming up to cover my mouth. "I tied our bonds together to pull from you when I needed to feed the life force, but… I thought it didn't work."

"You never untied them."

Gideon huffs, feigning annoyance, his hand gently squeezing my arm. "Thank the gods for that. It took ages for it to work."

Kaylus laughs, the sound weak and tired, but a sound I didn't believe I'd ever hear again. "I was dead, and the two people sharing a life force with me were severely drained. Makes sense it took a while." He slowly blinks open his eyes. "You can catch me up after I get some sleep."

I kiss the top of his head. "Of course, Kaylus."

"You should rest too." Gideon takes my hand and guides me onto the bed. "Plus, I know you won't leave his side for a while now." He smirks, pushing me to lay down and pulling the covers over me.

"Shouldn't you rest as well?" I snuggle under the blanket, allowing the warmth to soothe my aching body.

"I will."

I narrow my gaze at him until he holds his hands up.

"Promise," he adds with a grin. "I need to make a call first."

Sighing, I nod, my hair rubbing against the pillow. "Fine. One call," I slip one finger from under the blanket and hold it up, "and you come lay down."

He leans over, kissing my temple. "Darling, there's nowhere else I would rather be than in bed with you."

My cheeks flame when he winks at me before walking out of the room. I should shower before going to sleep, but after everything that's happened, the rise and fall of Kaylus's chest is the only thing I care to focus on. As the sun breaks over the horizon, orange rays of sunlight beaming through the trees, I smile to myself because for once, if I were to count my blessings, I'd have far too many to keep track of.

When I open my eyes again, the sky outside the window is a deep indigo, the sun having already gone down. The blankets we arrived home with cover my body, and I roll over to find Gideon sound asleep, his face the picture of innocence and peace. He snores softly, and I brush a lock of hair from his forehead with the tips of my fingers, tracing the curve of his cheek, the ebony of his brow.

Suddenly, his hand wraps around my wrist. With his eyes still closed, he murmurs, "If you want to touch me, I'd prefer you use both hands, little witch." He hums, peeking open his eyes. "And maybe your mouth."

Yanking my wrist, he pulls me on top of him, his body still bare, neither of us having gotten dressed before collapsing into bed. His hand slides down my arm to my side, grazing the side of my breast as he slips down my waist to the curve of my hip. He groans when he palms my butt, and I bite my lip, warmth pooling between my legs.

"Gods, I've missed you," he says against my lips, his other hand cupping the back of my head.

"I've missed you," I breathe, his growing erection between us pressing against me. "Gideon…"

"Say it." His grip tightens, and he fists my hair as his other hand reaches between us and slips a finger inside me, curved just right to rub against my clit with each thrust, and I moan, biting my lip to hold back. "Say it, Adara. Tell me how much you want me."

His breaths come in quick pants, matching the fast pace of my own, as he adds a second finger, thrusting at a quickening rhythm. Not loosening his grip, he tilts my head to the side, exposing my neck to nip and kiss at the tender flesh.

"Tell me how much you want me inside you." His breath is hot against my skin, and I gasp.

"I want you. Gideon, I-I want you right now." I feel his mouth stretch into a smile against my neck, and I whimper when he pulls his fingers free from me, but cry out when he quickly replaces them with his cock.

He presses his head back against the pillow, closing his eyes with a groan as he thrusts deep into me. "Gods, you feel…"

"So damn good," I finish, smiling when he chuckles. I dip my head down, pressing my lips to his, then lick the seam of his mouth. His hips move against mine, sliding in and out of me while exploring my mouth with his tongue.

"I love you," he says, claws scraping down my spine before he grasps my hips, rolling over until he's on top of me. His weight presses me into the bed, one hand coming up to pin my wrists to the pillow above me.

"I love you too," I gasp, moaning when he starts thrusting slowly—in and out, angling his hips just right to ride the very edge of my climax. My hands grip his shoulders the minute he releases me, pressure building between my thighs, higher and higher until I cry out. He grunts, quickening his pace as he slams into me, then releases a breathy cuss into my ear as he fills me. Sweat-soaked, he collapses onto his side. Nuzzling into the side of his neck, I kiss the pulse just below his jaw, grateful to be here with him.

The wonder of all that we've survived together dances through my sleepy mind, and I burrow deeper into his side. He chuckles, pulling the blankets up over my shoulders and kissing the top of my head. Sleep pulls me back under as the slow pace of his breathing lulls me into a dreamless slumber.

Bright morning sunlight streams in through the window, and I blink a few times before turning my head away from it with a groan. It's then that I realize I'm alone in the bed. I search the room and find Kaylus is missing as well. Yawning, I get up to gather clothes and walk into the bathroom.

The events of the last few days play through my mind as the hot water runs over me. I chew on my inner cheek. Gideon said everyone was alright, but I want to talk to Jules and Wren myself—see them and quiet the anxiety plaguing my mind that something else happened or that I left too soon, leaving them vulnerable. And what about Jaz? She was mostly unharmed, but the kidnapping alone could give her nightmares. Didn't Gideon mention something about Mila as well? Either way, I need to check on her. On all of them.

I rinse the shampoo from my hair and step out of the shower into the steam filled bathroom, dressing quickly and rushing down the stairs. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of Gideon's laugh have a smile spreading across my face. Walking into the kitchen, my heart almost bursts—Kaylus sits in the window, Jules and Wren grouped at the table before him, while Gideon flips bacon on the stove. They all look over as I walk in, taking the offered cup Gideon holds out for me, steam curling into the air above the hot caffeine. I kiss his cheek and set the mug on the table, walking around to Jules and Wren.

They stand to greet me as I wrap them both in a tight hug, a lump forming in my throat. "I'm so glad you're both okay," I say, taking a deep breath. "All of you." I let them go and turn to glance over at Gideon, then Kaylus, who hops over the windowsill and onto the table, his beak rubbing against my arm.

A knock sounds from the front door, and Gideon takes a step toward it before turning around and scratching the back of his head. "That's Frank and Mila." He catches my eye, raising his brow slightly. "A few others will be coming as well. We have a few… issues to settle."

My gaze snaps to Jules, unsure how much she knows after reading the journal and how much I should tell her, but then she reaches over and pats my hand.

"It'll be fine," she says, smiling, her eyes brimming with tears. "I already know."

"Because of the journal?" I ask, frowning.

She nods. "I… I thought Moren was a human, but I put it together after… Well, after I heard you talking about it in the throne room. I thought maybe I dreamed it at first." She laughs softly, sadness creeping into her voice. "I really didn't want it to be true, but…"

"But you'll always be my little sister," I say, flipping my hand over to grasp hers tightly as she smiles, nodding as a tear tracks down her cheek.